Page 43

Forty-Three

SUNNY

The steam of the coffee brushes against my face. I inhale deeply and tell myself that last night was a dream. A hot, hot dream. My stomach dips with the thought, but I quickly pull myself back to reality with Ellie’s sweet voice behind me.

“I’m all done.”

I peek over my shoulder at her empty plate. I smile over the rim of my mug, but it quickly falls when a large presence walks into the kitchen.

My face turns fifteen shades of red.

I start sweating in places that should not be sweating at eight in the morning.

“Good morning, Printsessa.”

As if Rhodes needed any help being attractive in the morning, he bends and kisses the top of his daughter’s head and sends her the half smile he only reserves for her.

“Go Blue Devils!” Ellie shouts.

I can’t help but giggle. She does the same thing on each game day, but today, she pairs it with a cartwheel.

“Wow,” Rhodes mutters. “Someone has energy today.”

Ellie smiles brightly, proud of herself, and climbs back into her seat.

I sip on my coffee and slip my gaze to Rhodes. My heart leaps out of my body.

He’s staring directly at me, and I hate that I have no idea what’s going through his mind.

Surely it’s not what’s going through mine, because the only thing I’m picturing is his hand around his length and remembering what we did last night.

It most definitely wasn’t a dream.

Not with the flirty look in his eye.

I’m frozen, pressed against the cabinet.

He starts to stalk toward me.

Am I still dreaming?

“Good morning, Sunny.” His tone is neutral, and it’s clear he’s keeping his word.

We won’t bring up what happened last night.

It was…a tiny slip in our restraint.

Now we can resume our normal lives.

“Morning,” I squeak.

Stop acting guilty!

He smirks.

How can he be so relaxed? It’s as if he doesn't remember watching me finger myself until I had another mind-blowing orgasm last night.

I blush, and he notices. His eyebrow hitches, and his smirk grows deeper. I glance at Ellie, and when she isn’t paying attention, I take the heel of my foot and gently stomp it on top of his.

He makes a noise.

“Stop it,” I hiss.

I turn and put my back to him.

“You stop it,” he says between a chuckle.

“I’m not doing anything,” I whisper.

He snickers.

I growl quietly but freeze when he comes up behind me. He’s so close I feel his body heat wrap around me like a blanket. His cologne fills my senses, and great, I’m spiraling.

What is this ?

Why am I the one acting like I can’t move past this?

His warm breath coats my neck when he leans forward and reaches for my mug. “Your pink cheeks are giving you away, Sunshine.”

I’m so surprised by his closeness that I don’t protest when he steals my coffee. Our fingers brush, and chills race down my arms. A hot breath caresses my neck. “Your entire body is giving you away.”

He backs away, and the airy kitchen comes back into view. I spin and glare at him. I want to argue and tell him he’s wrong, but he’s standing against the cabinets with my mug in his hand, sipping on my coffee.

And it’s hot.

It’s freaking hot, okay?

In an attempt to distract myself, I face Ellie. “Let’s braid your hair and get you ready for school.”

She perks up. “Can I wear my Blue Devils bow for Daddy?”

I smile, refusing to look at Rhodes. “Of course.”

Her face beams, and I lean over the counter into her space. “I’ll even wear one too.”

“We will be twins!” She claps and runs to get dressed.

Would it be obvious if I ran with her?

I glance behind my shoulder at her father, and he’s grinning like a fool.

“I’m going to go get another snowball and throw it at your face,” I snip.

He places my mug on the counter and shrugs. “Might have to punish you for that.”

My eyes widen, and he smiles. His bright-white teeth catch my attention, and my heart flops. “Oh, wait.” He shakes his head with a deep chuckle. “I forgot. You like to be punished.”

My jaw slacks.

He winks.

I cross my arms and pout. “You’re breaking our deal.”

Ellie’s footsteps catch our attention. We both pause for a split second before he strides across the kitchen and stops beside me. He leans in close, but I refuse to lose this battle and move away.

“You started it,” he whispers.

I’ve never been so captivated by a man. I’m stuck in place with his closeness. Energy flows through my limbs like he’s the very air I breathe.

It’s a huge issue.

One that I’m going to have to simply just get over.

Is it because he’s the first guy I’ve felt comfortable with in such a long time? Is it because he makes me feel safe while also making me feel wild too?

“See you tomorrow, Sunshine.” He sighs, and my hair moves with his heavy breath. “And if you lie in my bed tonight to watch the game, do me a favor.”

Oh god.

“Don’t wash the sheets. I like them smelling like sunshine.”

The pounding of my heart is so loud I hardly hear him arguing with Ellie about her allowing him to braid her hair. He tells her that he’s been practicing, and she reluctantly sits below his feet and lets him try.

I make a mental note to give him some more lessons—but most definitely with Ellie there as our chaperone.

“Here.” I reach forward with the washcloth and wipe Ellie’s face in the midst of her bubble bath. “You have paint everywhere.”

She shrugs. “I like being messy sometimes.”

I lean forward. “Me too.”

“Is that why you like art so much?” Water splashes with her quick movements, and it sprinkles my shirt. Ellie makes a face. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I told you I like being messy.” I dip the cup underneath the water and pour some on her head, washing away the rest of the shampoo. “And to answer your question, I like being able to express myself in ways that don't require me to speak aloud.”

That rang true the moment Gramps grew ill. Instead of talking about it and breaking down like I wanted to, I turned to painting. I’d always been creative, so much that I set out to get my degree in art history, but in order to help Nana and stay strong for her, I used it as my outlet.

That was when I started to record the time-lapse videos of me painting. With the encouragement from Ruby, I posted them online, and I garnered a lot of attention. I sold paintings and got requests. It was exhilarating.

Shortly after the incident, I took all the videos down for my own safety and peace of mind.

There were a few lingering, but last I checked, I could no longer find them.

They’re long gone, just like my dreams of selling in a museum one day.

“Why don’t you like to speak aloud?” she asks.

I glance at the time. It’s getting close to puck drop. I pull the plug on the tub and reach for the towel. “Well, do you like to talk about your feelings?”

She looks away. “Only sometimes.”

I nod. “That’s because it’s hard to put into words what we feel sometimes.”

I wonder if that’s why Rhodes is so quiet.

Ellie digests this for a long time. She remains silent while I get her dressed in one of Rhodes’s Blue Devils shirts and even as I pull the brush through her long, damp strands.

“Come on, you.” I nod to her dad’s bedroom, and she grins. She hops onto the bed and sits cross-legged in front of me, head tilted back, ready for a braid.

For a five-year-old, she’s pretty crafty with the TV. She manages to turn it to the correct channel, and there on the screen are the Blue Devils warming up. I’m sure, just like me, she spots number 87 right away.

Butterflies fill my stomach, and my fingers stop weaving the strands of her hair.

“Sunny?”

“Huh?” I shake my head. “I mean, yes?”

“Do you have a mom?”

I pull my attention from the TV and stare at the back of her head. “Why do you ask?”

Her little shoulders rise and then fall a moment later.

I finish her braid in record time and pull her up toward the headboard beside me. She peers over at me with those same green eyes that her father has.

“Everyone has a mom,” I say. “But like you, my mom passed away when I was a baby.”

Ellie’s eyebrows rise, and it’s clear she has never met someone that shares the same type of grief. “Really?”

I nod. “But I don’t know that I would say I don’t have a mom.”

The commentators start talking on the TV, predicting that the Blue Devils will lose the game because they’re on the road. They go on to talk about Emory, the unstoppable goalie, and they bring up Rhodes too—about how he’s become more focused in the last several games, which could work in their favor of coming out on top.

As soon as they’re done, Ellie gives me her attention again. “What do you mean?”

My nana’s weathered face pops into my head, and a dose of warmth moves to my heart. I pull out my phone and show Ellie a photo. “This is who I consider to be my mom.”

“Who is that?”

“This is my babushka, though I call her Nana.”

Ellie lets out a little laugh.

“She is the one who stepped in to raise me. She and my gramps.”

“Oh.” Ellie stares at the photo for a long time before she swings her sleepy face toward me again. “Kind of like you and my daddy?”

Um, wait, what?

I start to panic.

What if she tells Rhodes that I said I was her mom?

Oh god .

“Uh, well...”

Her face falls.

“You don’t want to be my mom?” She turns away from me, and my heart crashes from the flinch of hurt moving over her features.

I grab onto her hand and give it a squeeze. “It’s not that.”

Her glassy eyes peek at me. She’s confused, and I hope I’m not overstepping by what I’m about to say.

“My point is that the idea of mom can be different for everyone. It’s not an easy spot to fill.” I swallow. “But I’ll do my best to be whatever you want me to be.”

That seems to calm her.

“Here.”

My forehead furrows. “What?”

She’s staring at the photo of my nana. “I just want you to be here. With me. I don’t want you to leave.”

I glance at the TV and ignore the emotion clogging up my senses.

“I’ll always be here.” I get closer to her. “If I can deal with your grumpy daddy, I don’t think anything will scare me away.”

She giggles with me and hands me back my phone. “He’s not as grumpy with you around.”

I silently argue that she’s wrong, but deep down, I know she isn’t. I pretend like it doesn’t make me happy, because why would it?

I glance at the time. “Hey…do you wanna meet my babushka?”

“Your babushka?” She sits up a little taller. “Your nana? Right now?”

It’s not that late in Washington. She’ll answer, and she’s been dying to meet Ellie.

“Let's call her before the game starts. That way, you can meet my… mom .” I use quotations around the word mom, and she nods excitedly.

My nana answers after the fifth ring, and surprisingly, her face pops onto the screen, unlike last time we tried to video chat.

“Hi, sweetheart. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

I smile. “I could say the same. You figured out how to answer and have the camera facing the right way? I’m so proud.”

My nana flicks a light on, showing off more of her tired face. “Well, you’re the one who got me this fancy tablet. It’s a lot easier to use. I appreciated the instructions too.”

“What? I didn’t get you a tablet.”

She puts her hand up to her lips and thinks. “Well, your name was on the note.”

Ellie slinks down beside me and smashes her lips together, like she’s trying not to laugh. She hasn’t even met my nana yet, and it seems like she has some secret with her.

“Do you know something about this?” I ask quietly.

Ellie quickly shakes her head and covers her mouth with her hand. Her eyes give her away, though. She’s clearly amused by something.

“See!” Suddenly, there’s a piece of paper floating in front of the screen. It’s hard to read it with my nana unable to hold it straight. After focusing for a few seconds, I recognize his handwriting. My jaw drops. Did Rhodes send my nana a tablet with instructions on how to video chat?

I blink several times, trying to get over the hump of confusion.

I finally manage to say, “Oh.”

Ellie is bursting at the seams, and it’s hard to be perturbed when she’s so giddy over this entire thing. “Yeah, um...”

“Is there a little person beside you?” Nana tries to look past my screen as if she can physically move the camera herself.

Ellie’s face pops in view as she snuggles up close. “Hi.”

“Oh my goodness. Look at you. She’s as pretty as her father!”

Ellie’s eyebrows cave. “My daddy isn’t pretty.”

Tell that to the entire female population, kid.

After several minutes of my nana and Ellie chatting about all sorts of things, I finally pull the phone back.

“Okay, Nana. I have to watch this game with Ellie before she heads to bed.”

“I have the game on too!” she says.

I’m shocked. “The Blue Devils?”

She nods. “I have to keep up with them now that you’re all the way in Chicago.” Her mouth forms a line. “Oh, wait a second. Before you go…”

Worry fills me from the look of concern on her face.

“Is something wrong?” I quickly ask.

The puck drops on the TV, but I keep my attention on the phone. Ellie has crawled toward the foot of the bed. I tell her I’m going to get us some popcorn and that I’ll be right back.

“Nana?”

“Yes, honey. Everything is great here. It’s just that I had a visitor the other day.”

I grab a bowl from the cabinet and put a bag of popcorn into the microwave. “A visitor? Who? One of your friends?”

She laughs. “All my friends are living in this place with me. This was someone looking for you.”

I do a very good job at hiding the panic. “For me?”

My blood pressure spikes. Suddenly, I feel like one of those kernels about to pop in the microwave.

“Yes. It was a woman.”

Oh, thank god.

I press my hand to my heart. “Oh, okay. Who was it?”

“Goodness, I can’t remember.”

Not wanting her to feel bad for her short-term memory loss, I shake my head. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it was an old friend or something.”

I have no idea who would be stopping in to the nursing home to look for me. Not many people know that my nana is there or that I’ve moved.

“If I remember, I’ll give you a jingle.”

I laugh. “Okay, Nana. Sounds good. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you next week?”

I nod with a smile and hang up.

Ellie is sitting on her knees with her eyes trained to the TV.

“How’s it going?”

She eyes the popcorn greedily. “Daddy is doing so good! He already got a point!”

I climb beside Ellie. We lie at the foot of the bed with our feet up in the air and the bowl of popcorn in between us.

“He already got a point?”

Ellie nods and shoves popcorn into her mouth.

That’s two for tonight.

One for gifting my nana a tablet behind my back so that our video chats will work, and one for the Blue Devils.