Page 41

Forty-One

SUNNY

Rhodes and I are even.

He takes me out for my birthday, encourages me to act my age, and then later helps me get over the little blip of anxiety I have when it comes to men, and I loosen him up with an impromptu snowball fight with his daughter, which is a memory she’ll probably have for the rest of her life.

So there.

We’re even.

I shake my damp hair out and cross my arms. My back is to the mirror because if I look at myself, it’ll be harder to hide from what I’m really thinking about.

Like Rhodes’s husky voice in my ear or the way my toes curled less than twenty-four hours ago with the way he took my body in the palm of his hands and made it sing.

“Stop it,” I whisper-shout to myself in my empty room.

It’s after ten.

Ellie is asleep.

The house is quiet.

Rhodes is probably sleeping too, because he leaves early tomorrow for an away game.

I wonder if I imagined the look in his eye earlier when he tackled me to the ground during our snowball fight.

The light and airy moment suddenly turned hot and tense. Or did I just think that?

He touches you one time, and look at you!

I spin and glare at myself in the mirror.

The hair framing my face doesn’t hide the flush against my cheeks. I look to my chest and spy two pointy buds that give my thoughts away.

And here comes the pacing.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Maybe I should try to go out again, on an evening when Rhodes is home with Ellie.

Find another guy like Simon. Only, this time, I won’t melt into a panicky mess. If I pushed the limits with Rhodes, I can do it with someone else.

Right?

What if I don’t want to?

I flush harder.

An exasperated sigh slips from my mouth, and I flop onto my bed.

What a ridiculous thought.

My phone buzzes, and I expect it to be another text from Ruby since she is one of the only people who have my new number.

I sit up quickly.

It’s Rhodes.

Rhodes: You up?

Heart palpitations. I’m literally having heart palpitations over a text.

Me: Yes.

Is this a booty text?

Oh my god. Of course it isn’t!

Rhodes: Thank you for earlier.

I calm myself and ignore my shaky fingers.

Me: For what?

For keeping things normal between us after your fingers were buried between my legs the night before? No problem.

Rhodes: For reminding me to loosen up every once in a while. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. It made Ellie happy.

I smile.

Me: Who knew it would take a snowball to the face to get you to smile.

He has a really nice smile too. If he smiled more often, I bet he’d have even more admirers.

I pause.

I’m sort of glad he doesn’t smile much, now that I think about it.

Rhodes: I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the snowball.

My heart stops.

Is he implying that it was me?

I place my phone down on my chest.

There’s no way he is, and if he were, shouldn’t that scare me?

Me: Shouldn’t you be sleeping? You have a game tomorrow.

There. Perfect. Change of subject.

Rhodes: I always have trouble sleeping the night before an away game. I don’t like to leave Ellie.

Rhodes is such a mystery. How can he seem so apathetic on the outside but be so tender for Ellie? He’s shown that side to me a few times too. It’s the subtle, barely there, sweet actions that draw you in and give some insight to who he truly is.

The demand for me to move in here rather than stay at the house with the broken lock. Reassuring me that his house is safe and making sure I had the option of locking my bedroom door. Showering me with flowers and taking me out for my birthday. They’re such small actions, but they carry such a heavy punch.

Me: I completely understand, given what you’ve gone through in the past when leaving her.

I hit send but text again.

Me: I know you don’t believe in promises, but I promise you that she’s safe with me.

It doesn’t take long for him to respond.

Rhodes: I believe in promises. I just don’t like to make them. And I know she’s safe with you. I’ve never felt more at ease leaving her with someone than I do now.

Pride swells. It looks like I’m breaking through and gaining some of his trust. The trust that was nonexistent when I first started.

Rhodes: Shouldn’t you be sleeping? You’re twenty-six now. According to you, that’s not far off from my old age of thirty-two.

I snort.

Me: You’re the only one who thinks thirty-two is old, Rhodes. But that’s fine. I’ll keep you young.

I smile to myself.

Me: You up for another snowball fight?

Me: Kidding! But that seemed to spark the youth in you.

Rhodes: Don’t tease me like that, Sunshine. I was putting my coat on.

I roll my eyes. He was not.

Me: You were not. If I had to guess, you’re in bed with your pjs on.

For a split second, I imagine what he sleeps in, which then leads to me thinking about last night again, when he found me in the kitchen. Gray sweats and a T-shirt that hugged his biceps.

Hot.

Rhodes: I am in bed.

Me: And the pjs?

My pulse races, as if my body knows something my head doesn’t.

Rhodes: If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

Is he trying to challenge me? As if I won’t send him a picture of my snowflake sleep shorts and matching top? He saw a lot more of me last night than this outfit shows.

I snap a picture and send it.

It’s nothing racy. My nipples aren’t making themselves known like earlier, and although the shorts hit a little above mid-thigh, it doesn’t scream “sexy” by any means.

Rhodes: I didn’t think you’d actually send a picture.

A quiet laugh tumbles from my mouth.

Me: Well, I assumed if I didn’t, you’d just come to my room and see for yourself.

Rhodes: Does that mean you’re going to come to my room if I don’t send you a picture?

My soul leaves my body. An ache burrows in between my legs so abruptly I look down. I type slowly while I blow a breath out of my mouth.

Me: I could.

I’m sweating.

Is he egging me on? Waiting to see if I’ll come down to his room? I shouldn’t. I know deep in my bones that I shouldn’t.

I stare at my open door.

How many steps is it to his room? Twenty?

My phone vibrates, and my fingers race to open the text.

He sends me a picture, and all rational thinking goes out the window. My lips part, and a needy breath empties into the room.

He’s shirtless.

My blood runs hot.

I’m still affected from last night.

His touch did something to me, and I’m afraid of it. It left something behind that’s so strong I’m having insane thoughts of him touching me again.

Sure, I trust him, and that’s playing a huge role in this, but I have to get it together!

I count his abs one by one until I get to the waistband of his pants. That’s all I see. His strong chest, defined abs, and a pair of sweats that hides the rest of his body.

Me: What took you so long?

I will not comment on his perfectly sculpted body, and I will not make mention of how inappropriate this is, because I clearly have no morals at the moment.

Rhodes: You want the truth?

Me: Always.

Rhodes: I sleep…in less clothing. Didn’t think it would be right to send my daughter’s nanny a dick pic.

I laugh out loud.

Rhodes: Did you just laugh at me?

I slam my mouth shut. On quiet feet, I jump out of bed and shut my open door before diving back in bed and reaching for my phone like a teenager texting her crush for the first time.

Nope . There is no crush. I am not crushing on Ellie’s father.

Me: Must be imagining things. I didn’t laugh.

Rhodes: Hmm. I’ve been imagining a lot lately.

I bite my lip and take the bait.

Me: Like?

Rhodes: Like where I’d be if you had entered our lives a year ago instead of a couple of months.

I could have avoided a whole lot of trauma if I were in Chicago a year ago.

Me: I wish it were a year ago.

Rhodes texts back immediately.

Rhodes: You like me that much?

I smile.

Me: I like Ellie that much.

Rhodes: Fair.

Me: I wish it were a year ago so I could have avoided what happened to me.

Rhodes: Also fair.

There are more text bubbles, so I wait to see what else he says.

Rhodes: But then last night wouldn’t have happened.

I stare at the screen, and my pulse quickens.

Rhodes: I shouldn’t have said that.

Oh, but you did, and now I can’t unsee it. I play dumb, hoping it’ll make him laugh, and we can move past it. Otherwise, I may do something I swore I wouldn’t, and that’s touch myself at the thought of him.

Me: What happened last night?

Rhodes: You know what happened last night.

My head is spinning.

I wish the memory of last night was hazy so I could forget it.

Because I need to forget it.

The way his mouth curved at the sight of me lying on the counter was intoxicatingly hot. His fingers and mouth working together made me come faster than I ever have before, and I was able to stay in the moment with him instead of panicking, which is like a revolution.

Rhodes: Are you thinking about last night, Sunshine?

My fingers tighten on my phone. I secretly love it when he calls me that.

Me: No.

Rhodes: Oh, are we lying now? You know what happens when we lie.

I smile.

Me: You going to put me in time-out like you do to Ellie?

Rhodes: That’s not how I’d punish you.

My thoughts turn racy.

They’re deranged.

I place the back of my hand to my forehead. Do I have a fever?

Without any restraint, I type a message that I know I should delete.

Instead, I hit send.

Me: How would you punish me?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Now it’s my turn to panic. How do I unsend a text?

I’m mid-Google search over how to unsend a text, and my phone starts ringing.

Rhodes is calling.

He’s calling me?!

I shouldn’t answer. My cheeks are warm. They’ll give me away.

Don’t answer.

I’m not answering the phone.

Nope.

My finger hovers over the accept button. The room spins. There’s a pulse in between my legs.

I hit accept.