Page 13 of Six for Gold (The Magpie Rhyme #6)

N ot knowing how long the betrayal had gone on for brought the anger back.

For how many days, weeks, months , had Chad been filling Romeo’s head with lies, promises about how much they loved each other, and they were meant to be together, knowing he planned to leave Romeo behind.

He grew feelings in Romeo that had never been there before, made him burn with protectiveness and growl with possessiveness.

Romeo loved him fiercely with all of himself.

Chad had hurt him. No one hurt him.

His biggest hurt came from resisting the monster for so long.

But other people couldn’t affect him.

Just Chad.

Because he’d made Chad more.

He’d made him everything.

And that had resulted in the worst pain he’d ever experienced.

If only he was all monster, then it never would’ve happened.

Romeo hesitated with his spread hand on their bedroom door.

The house was quiet around him.

Two days had passed since the bridge visit.

Romeo didn’t even recall how he’d found himself outside their bedroom door in the middle of the night. He knew he shouldn’t be, knew he should leave, maybe even chain himself up in the outhouse again and throw the key far from reach.

He eased the door open, holding his breath in case the rage he was trying to keep down woke Chad.

Chad lay on his back in the middle of the bed, completely unaware of the danger approaching.

He should’ve locked the bedroom door.

He should’ve barricaded it.

Romeo stepped closer to the bed, glaring down at Chad.

He’d never given another person power to hurt him like that before.

He didn’t know how to handle it, and worse, he didn’t know whether he wanted to.

Chad wanted to die, then fine, Romeo would give him what he wanted, then they would both be free.

Romeo climbed onto the bed. The dip of the mattress made Chad stir, but he was slow, sluggish, and it was easy to staddle him.

“Romeo...”

Chad’s eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open them.

Romeo didn’t wait for him to wake fully, he wrapped both hands around Chad’s throat and squeezed as hard as he could.

Chad’s eyes flashed open. His hands came up, clasping Romeo’s wrists, but he wasn’t strong enough to pull Romeo off him. Romeo had let go in the outhouse, tempted by the idea of finding out why, but it didn’t matter. Why didn’t matter.

“Is this what you wanted, Chad?” Romeo asked, leaning his face down so he could look into Chad’s. “Then you only had to ask.”

Chad’s throat gurgled, a spasm as his tongue slapped the top of his mouth.

“Anytime I could’ve done this.”

Chad’s brown eyes gazed up at him, brimming with what Romeo had always assumed was love. Romeo squeezed harder until that look went away.

The whites of Chad’s eyes turned red.

“Why, though,” Romeo spluttered, “did you have to make me fall in love with you first?”

Watery pink tears escaped the corners of Chad’s eyes. His skin turned ashen, and his lips took on the purple tint of death. Romeo could feel Chad’s pulse in his hands, slowing as every muscle in his body stiffened, stretching out and screaming for more oxygen.

“Why tell me you loved me if you were always going to leave?”

Romeo kept going, and he smiled. He grinned at Chad, dying at his hand, and ground his erection down on him.

“You look so fucking good like this.”

He curled his fingers into Chad’s throat, digging them in until his nails broke the skin, and he could push his fingertips inside. Romeo bit his lip at the warmth and wetness he forced his fingers into. He thrust them into Chad’s body, in and out, making the holes stretch to accommodate his knuckles. His cock throbbed at the action.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

The unfiltered agony on Chad’s face confirmed it.

Romeo groaned. “I wish I was inside you right now. I wish I was fucking you while I did this.”

Chad’s heart stopped. His chest didn’t move. His eyes were open, but unseeing. His bottom lip was blue, and cold when Romeo sucked it into his mouth. He removed one hand from Chad’s throat, stroking it down Chad’s chest until he got to his boxer shorts.

“But I’ll have to just make do with fucking you now you’re gone. While your body cools and your blood clots.”

Romeo flung himself upright, gasping for breath.

A dream.

Just a dream.

He stumbled from the bed, tripping over twisted sheets, as he pushed open the bedroom door.

He staggered into the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet, and hung his head into the bowl as he threw up.

Bile burned his throat and tingled his teeth.

He spat a few times before pushing to his feet and getting to the sink. He cupped handfuls of water to rinse out his mouth, blinking harshly to rid himself of the dream.

“Are you okay?” Chad asked from the doorway.

Romeo paused, linking eyes with Chad through the mirror. “Get out.”

Chad slumped, but did as Romeo told him, retreating down the hallway to go back to his bedroom.

Romeo didn’t return to the spare room that night.

He escaped to the outhouse, used the gym, did his languages, watched cooking shows of recipes to try one day in the future, all the things he usually did to distract himself.

His fingers twitched. He kept checking them, able to feel Chad’s blood where he had pushed them into his skin. Romeo had killed him, and he’d woken just as he was about to—

He shook his head, refusing to go back there.

But the dark part of him, the monster, he wanted to use Chad, to satisfy every desire and need by killing and fucking him.

Romeo shuddered, disgusted with himself.

He didn’t return to the house until after 9:00 that morning.

Chad got up from his chair at the kitchen table. He’d just finished his breakfast by the look of the empty plate and the last dreg of coffee in his cup.

“Are you okay?”

Romeo ignored him and pointed out the window. “What is that?”

Chad glanced back. “It’s a bird feeder?” The questioning lilt to his words might have once amused Romeo, but the voice matched with the deer-in-headlights expression infuriated him.

It was obviously a bird feeder. He scrunched his eyes shut and took a few calming breaths.

“I mean ... why is it out there?”

“I found it in the cupboard. The pole and all the feeders to hang from it and we had loads of bird seed, all different types, so I thought what the hell,” he shrugged. “Might as well put it out there.”

He remembered how Romeo liked his toast, how he liked to kill, that he liked crosswords, but hadn’t remembered the field of bodies or the raven that had slayed the magpies right in front of them.

Romeo’s eye twitched.

“Is there a problem?” Chad asked. “I can take it down if you—”

“No,” Romeo interrupted. “Leave it out there.”

Chad bit his lip. “Okay... There’s no birds yet.”

“If they have a single brain cell between them, none will come.” He turned his back to the window, then gestured to the table. “Are you finished?”

Chad glanced at his empty plate. “Yeah.” He hurried to grab it, then placed it in the sink. “I’ll ... I’ll wash it up later.”

Romeo pressed his lips together.

“What happened last night?” Chad asked.

“I think it’s fairly obvious what happened. I was sick.”

Chad nipped his bottom lip. In the dream it had been cold when Romeo sucked it. He turned away.

“But ... why were you sick?”

“I had a ... dream.”

“About what?”

Romeo didn’t lie to Chad, and he didn’t plan on starting.

“I dreamed I killed you, then fucked your dead body.”

He’d always enjoyed watching Chad squirm from his blunt delivery, but the shock on Chad’s face didn’t amuse him, and he didn’t find what he’d said amusing either.

“Right...” Chad murmured, then he swallowed hard enough Romeo heard him.

“Is ... is that not normal for you?”

Romeo ignored Chad’s question.

“I suggest you start locking your door at night.”

Chad stared at him.

“Maybe keep a knife by your bed.”

“I won’t.”

Romeo frowned. “Won’t what?”

“I won’t lock my door, and I won’t keep a knife by my bed.”

“You’re still suicidal—”

“No.”

“Then you’re just... Idiotic. Six letters.”

Chad narrowed his eyes. “I am not stupid . That dream made you throw up. You didn’t like the thought of doing that to me.”

Romeo leaned closer. “ Part of me didn’t. But the other part did.”

Chad swallowed again. He turned to leave but spoke over his shoulder. “I’m still not locking my door.”

“Stupid,” Romeo muttered beneath his breath.

He flicked the kettle on, glancing out the window at the birdfeeder.

Part of him wanted to march outside and tear it from the earth, but another, more savage part, wanted to show Chad why he no longer put out seed for the birds.

He might not have seen the raven for weeks, but he imagined it flew over the house, checking for prey every day. Chad was going to feed it, and Romeo would let him if only to see the shock and hurt on Chad’s face when it swooped down and viciously stabbed a bird to death in front of him.

Perhaps it was punishment.

Perhaps he hoped the brutality might jog Chad’s memory.

Romeo didn’t know why he didn’t demand Chad take it down or remove it himself, but it remained in the field, full to the brim with seed with no birds foolish enough to take the bait.

****

A lly blasted her car horn a few times when she arrived.

Romeo lay back on the bed, still not fully rested after his night in the outhouse, he cradled his hand to his chest and shut his eyes, silently praying he didn’t have the same dream twice.

When he woke, the sun was beginning to set.

He got up and watched out the window.

The mist looked more orange than gold, settling over their field of bodies Chad couldn’t remember. His nose twitched with the smell of something recently cremated, and he wondered what Chad had been forced to eat under Ally’s watchful eye.

When he heard voices in the hallway, he moved to the door, cracking it open so he could listen.

“Are you sure I can’t stay?” Ally asked. “I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.”

“That’s doubtful,” Chad snorted. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine.”

“You kept saying that before, and before it had been a lie...”

A tense silence followed.

“I’m not lying now,” Chad said softly. “I... Look, I’m confused, working stuff out, trying my hardest to remember, but I’m not...”

“Suicidal.”

Romeo dug his nails into the side of the door.

“No. I’m not that,” Chad replied.

“Make another appointment with Keeley.”

“I will.” Chad promised.

“Are you taking your pills?”

“Yes.”

“All of them?”

Chad chuckled. “Yes, Ally, I’m dosing myself up regularly on all my medication, thanks for asking.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, if you don’t pick up—”

“You’ll drive here and give me a piece of your mind.”

“You bet,” Ally chuckled. “And I’ll refuse to leave. I’ve retired now, so I can dedicate all my spare time to watching your sorry ass.”

“I’ll pick up.”

“Good.”

Romeo frowned. It was news to him about Ally retiring.

“See you later,” Chad said.

Those words were ice to Romeo’s heart.

That’s what Chad had said to him on the day he didn’t come home.

Chad shut the front door.

Thirty seconds later, Ally blasted the car horn.

Romeo flung open the door and stalked down the hallway. Chad leaned against the wall with his eyes shut. They opened when he heard Romeo on the top step.

“I didn’t know she’d be here that long ... you must be hungry.”

Romeo didn’t answer. He glared.

“Christ, Romeo. How long are you going to keep this up?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly.

“I need your help.”

“It’s too late to ask for it. You should’ve asked before .”

Chad closed his eyes. “Help me remember.”

“How do I do that?”

“You spend time with me.”

Romeo inflated with a deep breath. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I told you earlier, I dreamed of killing you then fucking your dead body.”

“It was only a dream.”

“Only a... Chad ,” Romeo came down the stairs. “I’m a danger to you, more so than I’ve ever been. I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“Deal with what?”

“The knowledge that it was all a lie.”

“It wasn’t,” Chad said firmly. “It isn’t .”

“How can you say that—"

“Because I know it wasn’t. I know it isn’t,” Chad ran his hands into his hair, and tugged. “I know you hate me, Romeo, and that’s okay. I get it. But I don’t hate you. Far from it.”

“You don’t even know me. You don’t remember—”

“I remember a lot more than you think I do.” Chad blinked back tears from his eyes. “That’s why I don’t understand.”

Romeo straightened to full height. “What’s in the field, Chad?”

Chad looked him in the eye. “There are bodies in the field. That’s what the maggots are eating. I know they’re there but ... I don’t know how, or why, or who, and I thought maybe that was the reason.”

“You encouraged it. Nothing gets you harder than watching me kill.”

Chad took a step back. “I....”

“You love it. For me it’s a need, a quench, a meal to a starving man, but you, you love it, you get aroused by it. You claw at my clothes like a desperate dog afterwards and beg with your eyes for me to take you.” Romeo dropped down the final few steps. “I’m sick all right, in here,” he pointed at his forehead, “But you ... you’re sick in the head, in your cock, in your goddamn heart—”

“Shut up.” Chad snapped, clutching his head.

“And I love that you’re like that.”

Chad met his eyes.

“You didn’t try to end your life because of what is going on in that field. Those people ... they aren’t good , and that was important to you. I wasn’t to kill anyone you deemed good , but if I could solve the cold cases, provide you with evidence, then they were our—”

“Poppy feed.”

Romeo’s eyebrows jumped up his head. “Yes.”

Chad hurried past him to get to the kitchen. He stared out of the window. “They killed people.”

“Yes.”

“And I bought them here ... and what?” he frowned. His eyes were wet. “To watch you kill them so I could get myself off.” He clutched his chest. “Is that who I am?”

“We started...” Romeo couldn’t think of a better word for it and settled on hunting . “We started hunting for my benefit. This thing inside my head, this voice, this urge,” he curled his thumb and fingers of his left hand, “this clawing inside my skull can only be satisfied by murder. The rush it gives me, the sensation, the experience, I can’t explain it to you, but when I satisfied it once, I knew I’d have to again and again to exist on this earth. I can’t go back to holding it at bay. I can’t live like that. We came up with a compromise. I kill, but only those you deem deserve it.”

“Where is the part about me being a bitch in heat?”

“I didn’t quite say that,” Romeo snorted. “But me killing has the added bonus of being particularly erotic for you ... and now, for me too.”

“Fuck,” Chad muttered, spinning on the cold tap. He wet his hand, then brushed it over his hair.

“Difficult to accept?” Romeo asked, inching closer.

“No,” Chad replied. “It rings true. What you’re telling me, I believe it. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but I do. I didn’t try to kill myself because of the bodies in the field despite how fucked up that is. Despite how much I wish that was the reason.”

“Why did you then?”

Chad shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Romeo exhaled from his nose. “Josh is investigating missing people...”

“They’re in our field.”

“Yes. He got our car we used to scout our victims and collect them when we were ready.”

“How the hell did he get it?” Chad asked.

“I parked it in the parking ramp at the hospital.”

Chad’s eyes widened. “I must’ve warned you to keep that car out of sight. No public places, and you park there! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking my boyfriend was in the hospital and I was damn well going to be there for him!”

“It was reckless.”

Romeo stabbed his finger at Chad’s chest.

Chad slapped his hand away.

“I know it was reckless,” Romeo growled through his teeth. His body shook. “But I needed to know you were okay. I needed to know you were alive. I wasn’t thinking—no, scratch that—I was thinking, but only of you.”

Chad deflated. “What’s done is done. If Josh had anything to link that car with me, I would’ve been arrested by now, and if they found your fingerprints, it would be all over the news.”

“The car was clean.”

“But what about the CCTV?”

“I wore a disguise.” Romeo bristled at Chad’s unimpressed stare. “A disguise you chose.”

“Okay.” Chad slumped. “We’re in the clear then.”

“For now.”

Chad looked at him. “For now.”