Page 31 of Single Teddy (Mayberry Protectors #6)

“I tried to help. To reason with her when I found out. But I was deployed most of the time. There wasn’t much I could do. My parents weren’t much help either. They didn’t condone my sister’s lifestyle or her child out of wedlock. So it wasn’t as if she could rely on them either.

“I…I should have done more. I should have been there for Bear more. Been there for Josie more. But you know what they say. Coulda, shoulda, woulda.”

My eyes stung, and I blinked the tears away.

“She was her own person, Teddy. She made her own choices. You can’t beat yourself up for someone else’s bad decision-making,” he said, grabbing my arm with his free hand.

“Still. She was my sister. I should have done more.”

“How much can you do when the other person refuses to see the problem? All you’d have done is alienate her, and then Bear would truly have no one.”

I looked into Wesley’s eyes, their green shining so bright it could have erased the guilt eating at me. But I turned away from him because I wasn’t ready for that yet. I didn’t want to let myself off the hook so easily.

“I keep telling people she died in a car crash, but the truth is she died of an overdose in a stranger’s bed. We still don’t know if he forced drugs on her or if she was a willing participant, but… I just…I keep thinking if I’d been there…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

The tears just exploded out of me like a bomb, leaving me vulnerable and raw.

“If you had been there, it would all have turned out the same. Maybe you’d have stopped her this time.

Maybe you’d have stopped her the next. But if she was determined to live her life the way she was, there’s nothing you could have done to stop it.

She’d have ended up in the same situation.

Maybe not involving drugs. Maybe it would be something else.

Another dangerous situation. I know it’s tough to hear or to admit, but we’re all in charge of our own destinies.

Other people can help. They can lift us up or they can prevent us temporarily, but ultimately, what we do with what we’re given is ours and ours alone.

If you’re going to blame yourself, you might as well blame your parents, the system, education, or the lack of mental health help.

But you don’t. You blame yourself. Why?”

Wesley’s arms wrapped around me, and he touched his forehead to mine, searching my eyes, but my eyesight was too blurry to see him. I could just feel him there, and that was enough.

“Because I was her big brother. It was my job to protect her.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He cooed. “I know you’re used to kicking evil people’s butts and saving the day, but the truth is that you can’t save people from themselves.

Not unless they want to be saved. You’re here for Bear now.

Isn’t that enough? I’m sure she appreciates that more than anything else you could have done when she was alive. ”

I couldn’t believe I was crying in front of Wesley. I couldn’t believe I’d told him all that and he was still his kind, loving self instead of being judgmental. But that was Wesley. Kind, caring, accepting.

He raised a hand to my face and wiped the tears away from one side of my face, then did the same with the other side, and I closed my eyes, if only so I could enjoy the mere contact between us and how warm he made me feel all over.

When my vision had cleared enough to look into his eyes properly, he smiled.

“Feel better? I always feel better after a good cry.”

I chuckled and pulled away enough to wipe my face with the back of my arm.

“How is Bear doing? Is the therapist helping? I know it’s early days, but?—”

I nodded and took a deep breath. Another reason why I needed to get my ass in gear now that Bear had started therapy and my outgoings had increased dramatically for the foreseeable future.

“So far so good. Second session is next week.”

“That’s great.” Wesley patted my chest gently and his smile grew bigger. “That really is—” He paused and stared at my chest. “What is it with you and these cute-ass sleeveless sweaters?”

I laughed again.

“Well, I found them in the box from the previous tenant one day when I’d run out of clean clothes. And they kinda fit?—”

“They don’t,” he chuckled.

“But I also feel good wearing them. I get so many compliments.”

“You do? From whom? I need names.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“What are you going to do to them?” I asked.

“I might start with a good slap,” he said.

“Well, I’d love to see that. Are you ready for the first name?”

Wesley pulled away from our embrace and put both his fists up in front of his face.

“Give it to me.”

“Well, the first one is this handsome man by the name of…Wesley.”

“Oh,” he said and dropped his hands. “You’re wearing them because I like them?”

I shrugged.

“Not just you. But yeah. I mainly wear them because I like them.”

“Oh. Okay then.” The smile returned to his face. “I’ll allow that.”

“Don’t worry. There are only three that fit, and they’re all sleeveless, so you won’t be seeing these guns much longer. Not if winter promises to be brutal.”

Wesley smirked and put those fists on my chest, taking a deep breath.

“Then maybe I should teach you how to knit so you can make more of these cute-ass tops.”

“I’d love that,” I answered and put my hands around his waist.

He nodded and leaned in, and so did I.

I’d missed his lips. I’d missed them so much.

“Uncle Teddy! Uncle Teddy!” Bear’s voice broke out in the serene farm, and we pulled away from each other so fast it gave me whiplash.

“What is it, little Bear?” I said and dropped to my knees as he approached.

He stopped a few feet away from me, holding something in his hand. It was black and white and fast asleep, purring with wild abandon as if it wasn’t in an excited child’s arms.

“Look! Isn’t he cute?” he asked, showing me the kitten in his arms.

“Bear! Does Duke know you took the cat out? I thought you went to the dog kennels.”

“That was hours ago, Uncle.” He laughed, although I doubted it was truly hours ago.

“Don’t worry. He didn’t steal the cat. Blue wouldn’t let go of him, so they became inseparable,” Duke said, approaching with Azrael who was holding Bubblegum, the dragon, in his arms.

“Can we take him, Uncle? Please? Pretty please?”

“Oh, I…”

He was so ecstatic, and I didn’t want to say no, but…

“I don’t know if we can afford a pet at the moment, Bear.”

That was it. Honesty. I didn’t need to fabricate lies to ease the blow. Honesty was almost always the best policy according to Dr. Nash.

“Why?” He pouted. “Look how cute he is.”

Wesley dropped down to talk to Bear, and I turned to Duke.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“No. Don’t apologize to me. But if money is the issue, I don’t mind waiving the adoption fees.”

“It’s not just that. It’s food, litter, and vet bills,” I said. “I’m already working two jobs, and we can barely get by.”

“I can offer some months of free healthcare, food, and litter.” Duke beamed at me, and it was almost tempting, if only so I didn’t have to disappoint Bear and erase that genuine smile on his face.

“I couldn’t take charity. That’s…too much.”

Duke pressed his lips together and crossed his arms.

“Well, in that case… If you’re looking for an extra job, we could come to an agreement.”

“We could?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m looking for someone to manage my socials. You can literally do a couple hours of posting a night here and there, depending on how savvy you are—” I wasn’t. “And I’ll pay you back in vet visits, cat food, litter, and cash, of course.”

“Tempting.” I sighed.

I dropped back down to look at Bear and the cat, and before I could say anything, he spoke.

“It’s okay, Uncle Teddy. Mr. Crawford explained, and I understand. Maybe next year,” he said, and the way his smile disappeared made my heart sink.

“That’s very mature of you, Bear,” Wesley said.

Gosh, I hated that. He didn’t need to be mature. He’d had enough of that growing up with my sister. He needed to be a child.

“Fine. Let’s take him home.”

“Really?” both he and Wesley asked.

I turned to Duke, who gave me the thumbs-up, and I nodded.

What was another job after all?

“Yay! Thank you so much, Uncle Teddy!” Bear hugged me, and the damn cat didn’t even budge. “Come. You have to meet his sister, Sassy!”

“His sister?”

“They’re a package deal!” Bear said, and I glared at Duke, who just smirked.

I was starting to think Bear had been schooled on what to say. I mean, what seven-year-old knows the words “package deal?”

“Fine,” I said.

What was one more cat anyway?

Thankfully, we stopped at two cats and were loaded with toys, litter trays, and food for like a whole year.

“Your place is a scam,” I told Duke before we left.

“It is?” he asked, smirking.

“Yeah. People come to have a good time, and they leave with pets. Sounds suspicious to me,” I told him all serious and everything.

“You got me!” Duke said, grinning from ear to ear, and I couldn’t help but laugh too.

“I’ll be waiting for further instructions,” I said.

“I’ll email you tonight.”

We all hugged goodbye, with Bear getting the most attention, of course, and then we were off to home.

Wesley helped us take everything upstairs, and once the cats were settled in their new home, he patted his thighs and took a deep breath.

“Right. It’s late. I should head home,” he said, but before I could offer to drive him, Bear chimed in.

“Why don’t you stay, Mr. Crawford? You can watch a movie with us. Have you watched Lilo & Stitch ?”

“Are you kidding? It’s my favorite movie ever!” he replied, and that was how we ended up a hair’s distance from each other on the sofa, watching the animated movie while Bear chased the cats around the apartment.

“Do you think he saw us hug?” I asked when he ran into his bedroom, chased by Blue and Sassy.

“Definitely. Maybe him inviting me to stay was his way of giving me the seal of approval.”

I took Wesley’s hand and kissed the back of it.

“I don’t know about Bear, but you’ve got my seal of approval.”

He laughed.

“Oh, darling, I know.”

We stayed like that for a moment. With my lips on his hand, gazing into each other’s eyes as if time had frozen around us before Wesley looked away.

“It’s awfully quiet.”

“Hmm. You’re right.”

We both got off the couch and went into Bear’s bedroom to find out what was going on. What we found could have melted my heart a thousand times over.

Bear was passed out on his bed with Blue and Sassy lying fast asleep on either side of his neck.

“Oh my god, is your nephew adorable or what?” Wesley cooed.

“That he is.”

“Right. I think it’s high time I go home.” Wesley turned about to leave the room, and I grabbed him.

“Stay! Please.”

Wesley opened his mouth to say something. Probably to tell me all the reasons he shouldn’t. But in the end, he did stay.

Things might be complicated, but it was too late to care about how to uncomplicate them.

So I simply took him to my bed, kissed him like I was meant to, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms as if we’d been doing it all our lives.