Page 28 of Single Mom’s Undoing (Lucky Lady Reverse Harems #1)
CLARA
I t’s not fair to Jodie if I don’t at least call her to tell her I’ve left. I’ve lied enough over the past couple of days, and judging by the frantic context of her messages, the guys are desperately looking for me.
Matty is sound asleep in our motel room in Baker City when I get on the phone and dial Jodie’s number.
She immediately picks up. “Clara? Oh, my God, are you okay?”
“Hey, Jodie. I’m so sorry,” I manage, trying hard not to cry as I gather my thoughts and work to find the right words to convey to this kind-hearted woman. She’s been nothing but supportive, and I left her behind without so much as a goodbye. “I am so, so sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I promise. Matty, too. We left Blackthorn Falls, as you probably know by now. I should’ve said something, I’m sorry. There was no other, better way to do this. I just hope you’ll forgive me someday.”
Outside the motel, I’ve got a nice view of the city, small but sprawling with its steel and concrete giants with mirrored windows, its highways and bridges. It’s big enough for me to get lost in, I suppose, big enough to help me disappear.
“What is going on?” Jodie asks. “Forget about forgiveness and all that crap. I’m not mad, I’m just worried. Jace wouldn’t tell me anything, but I guess you told him more than you ever told me.”
“I have a lot to apologize for, Jodie. I know?—”
“Just tell me what’s going on.”
“Matty is being admitted into the hospital tomorrow. His first round of tests was encouraging enough for the surgeon to make that decision. He’s getting his heart fixed later this week.
They think we’ll be looking at a full recovery,” I tell her.
“With the trust fund money, I’m able to cover most of it.
I’ve got some money saved from my work with Vanguard, and I’m looking for a new job. Things will work out, eventually.”
“Clara, why’d you leave? You have your own place here. You have the guys who are super worried about you. They love you. They’re going nuts without you and Matty. It’s not fair to them.”
“I had to. Please, believe me. I had no other choice. My life was at risk. Otherwise, I would’ve done things differently.”
I can’t bring myself to tell her that I’m pretty sure Bill Lockwood had one of his henchmen try to run me off the road because I wouldn’t take his money and leave again. At least I left on my own terms. Alive and with a clear conscience, not like last time. That guilt still eats away at me.
“I had to do it for me, for Matty, and, honestly, for anyone else who gets close to me. I would tell you, I swear, but it could put you in danger, as well. Please believe me, Jodie. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”
Silence falls on the line as I look down at the parking lot in front of the motel, where I see lots of dusty sedans and a couple of beat-up minivans, along with a few bikes and three pickup trucks—the latter from out of state, judging by the colors on their license plates.
This is a pass-through point for a lot of people.
“Clara, are you still there?” Jodie’s voice brings me back.
“Yes, sorry.”
“I thought the line went down. I asked you a question.”
“What did you ask me?”
“Are you sure you and Matty are safe?”
“We are, for now. I’m doing everything in my power to keep it that way,” I reply. “Please don’t worry about us. We’re staying somewhere nice and clean. It’s going to be okay; I promise.”
“Where are you?” she asks again. “Please, I just need to know.”
“Baker City. Jodie, I beg you, don’t tell anyone."
“Will you call me if you can’t handle this on your own? I mean, you shouldn’t be alone anyway, but if you need me, Clara, I’ll drop everything and drive up there. I won’t tell anyone about it, not Carter, not Jace, not Damon; I promise. ”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that. But thank you, Jodie. I don’t deserve you.”
“But you do. You deserve what’s best in this world, and it’s a shame you still can’t see it.”
“Maybe it’s better this way.”
“No. I refuse to believe that, honey. So, please promise me. Promise me, Clara. Promise me you’ll call me if you need me for anything, okay?”
“Okay. I promise. Just don’t tell the guys we spoke.”
“They’re looking for you, Clara. You disappeared with Carter’s son. You know he’s not going to stop until they find you.”
“I know.”
I can only hope that this entire situation is temporary, something that I’ll be able to get over, something that will take years’ worth of apologies to Carter and the guys until they finally forgive me when I can’t even forgive myself.
“One day, they will understand,” I tell Jodie.