Page 23 of Single Mom’s Undoing (Lucky Lady Reverse Harems #1)

CLARA

A week can go by in a pinch when one’s head is kept down and buried in work.

Several nights are spent with Carter, Jace, and Damon—but there is still tension there.

Things left unspoken. Jace wants me to tell the guys the truth about Stephan, yet I keep putting it off.

Finding excuses. Delving deeper into these Vanguard design projects.

Every day, as usual, I spend my lunch breaks down at the daycare with Matty or out in the garden. With a gentle sun gracing the clear skies, I decide to take my boy out while we eat our PB the corners of his mouth smudged with purple. “It’s really yummy, Momma.”

Moments like these are so precious. So simple. Whenever I’m alone with my son, it’s as if nothing else exists. No Bill Lockwood, no Margot, no bitter Elizabeth, no grief, shame, or fear…just me and my boy, munching under the summer sun while birds sing in the flowering bushes around us .

But I’m nervous.

It’s not just a regular lunch break.

It’s the lunch break.

Matty has been observing Damon with Shiloh and has started asking questions about his own father, who he is, where he is.

It’s time I tell him the truth.

“So, baby, I know you want to know about your dad.”

He nods excitedly. “Yeah, where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

I take a deep breath. “Well, actually, sweetheart, he is here.”

His eyes widen with shock. “My dad is here?”

“He is. Would you like to meet him?”

“Yes!” My son jumps up and pumps his fist into the air in excitement. I look up and see Carter waiting out on a terrace, the breeze fluttering across his gray shirt and slacks. He smiles nervously, and I give him a subtle nod.

“Matty,” I say as Carter approaches, gently pulling my son back. “This is your dad.”

Matty’s head whips around, and he gasps in genuine surprise. “Carter?”

“Hey, kiddo.”

“You’re my dad?”

Carter stops in front of us, hands in his pockets as he carefully measures his response.

“Is that okay with you?” Carter asks Matty .

Our boy springs to his feet and hugs Carter’s leg with pure joy and excitement. “Yes! That’s okay with me!”

I can’t help but laugh.

Carter chuckles and scoops Matty up in his arms. For a moment, I actually allow myself to believe this might work out.

I dare let hope slither back into my heart as I watch Carter and Matty bond and get reacquainted with one another as father and son. Matty was already comfortable and practically glued to Carter since day one, so their relationship is only bound to get better, if they go on like this.

But as long as Bill Lockwood is around, as long as I know what happened that night, there’s always going to be doubt lingering in the back of my head, an ugly shadow that I fear I may not be able to contain much longer. And Jace’s increasing pressure on the matter only makes it harder.

“Are you going to live with us?” Matty asks Carter at one point.

We’re back to finishing our sandwiches, while Carter pops a grape into his mouth. Matty’s smile seems happier, his eyes brighter.

“Sometime soon, we’re all going to live together. I just need to handle a few more things before that happens.”

“Yeah, me too,” Matty replies with a soft pout.

I give him a curious look, ignoring the ball of nausea quickly unfurling in the back of my throat. “What do you mean, honey?”

“My heart; we need to fix it. ”

“We’ll do that,” Carter says, then glances up at me. “You don’t need to wait for Stephan’s trust fund to come in. We can take him to my family’s clinic, and we can?—”

“I don’t want your family anywhere near us,” I cut him off.

My words leave Carter speechless and me surprised. It is such a visceral reaction, the queasiness swells and turns my stomach inside out.

“Clara, what’s going on?” he asks.

“Momma, do you have a code blue? You’re so white,” Matty says.

“Carter, can you watch him for a moment? The inhaler is in my purse, if he needs it,” I manage and get up from the bench. “Matty, honey, I’ll be right back. I’m okay.”

Before Carter can react, I’m back inside the mansion, desperately looking for the nearest bathroom so I can puke my guts out. My stomach churns. My throat burns.

I splash my face with cold water and rinse my mouth out. I look at myself in the mirror realizing how awful and pale I look. What in the hell has come over me?

“Oh, shit,” I whisper as a sudden thought grabs me.

I check my phone, sifting through the calendar to see when I had my last period. To say that I’m late would be an understatement.

“No… no.”

I’ll need a test to confirm, but it tracks. The symptoms track. They have been tracking for a couple of weeks now, come to think of it. The sluggishness, the tender breasts, the bloating, the nausea .

What the hell am I going to do?

“That’s a positive, isn’t it?”

Jodie’s voice pulls me out of the daze I’ve been in. Matty is halfway through his afternoon nap in his room, while Jodie has been kind enough to stay with me while I process.

I nod once. “Yes.”

Tears fill my eyes, quick to overflow and roll down my cheeks. She comes over and places a hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. We both sit on the sofa, staring at the test on the coffee table in front of us.

“I should’ve expected this. We never took precautions. I mean, everything with the guys has been so beautifully intense,” I manage, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

“How do you feel about it?”

“I don’t know. I feel…confused. Scared. Elated. So much all at once.”

“Do they know?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell them. I’m not sure I can stay here now; it’s too complicated. Worst possible timing, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t think that way,” Jodie gently cajoles me. “Babies never show up with Swiss precision.”

“I know; Matty confirmed that.”

“And has he not been your greatest joy? ”

“I love my son with every fiber of my being, Jodie, but I am nowhere near ready to have another child. I’d like to keep the one I have alive, first.”

She hugs me tightly. “It’s a tough situation, I get it, but you’re not alone, Clara.

You’ve got three wonderful men beside you who are more than willing to pitch in and see you through it.

Hell, I know Carter won’t even let you spend a penny of Stephan’s trust for Matty’s surgery.

He’d rather pay for the whole thing himself. ”

“It’s more complicated than that, Jodie.”

I wish I could tell the whole truth, but the shame burns so hot, so powerful, I can’t even look her in the eyes.

“Then explain it to me, Clara. Because from where I’m standing, the solution to your problem seems pretty simple.”

“I wish I could but?—”

A knock on the door causes me to freeze.

“Are you okay?” Jodie asks, giving me a curious look.

“Yes, I’m…I’m just not expecting anybody.”

She stands, ready to answer the door for me, but I jump up and beat her to it.

“It’s probably just a courier—” I freeze in the open doorway as I find Bill Lockwood standing on my porch.

“Miss Barnes, how lovely to see you again.”