Page 48 of Sinful Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #9)

Chapter Forty-Six

Brody

R achel died on a Wednesday, and we buried her the following Saturday. It was one of the biggest funerals I’ve ever seen. She was loved inside as well as outside of the club. Bikes lined the streets. There were so many chapters, we pretty much took over the entire town for a few days.

Today would have been her birthday.

I lay the bouquet of lilacs on her headstone. They look miniscule next to the elaborate flowers left by everyone else.

I glance back at Raffe as he rests against a nearby tree, an almost empty bottle of Jack perched between his legs.

Jackson was out here earlier today and tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t budge.

He called me to come check on him. I was headed out here anyway.

I’ve never missed her birthday, and her being gone wasn’t going to change that.

This isn’t the first time Jackson’s called and asked me to help drag his dad out of the cemetery. We’ve found him out here several nights, slopping drunk.

Jackson’s plate is so fucking full right now, I honestly feel sorry for the man.

Willow had her baby a week after Rachel passed.

They think it was stress induced, but little Aspen Rachel is doing great.

The little shit is strong. She’s had to stay in the NICU for the last month, but it sounds like she should be coming home in a week or two.

We were hoping it might lift Raffe’s spirits, but that’s not been the case. He’s taking Rachel’s death harder than I imagined. The whole club has. Honestly, I don’t know if I’d be doing much better if it wasn’t for the angel by my side. Daisy’s been amazing.

“We’re trying,” I whisper quietly to the cold stone in front of me. With a sigh, I turn around and walk over to him.

“How about I give you a ride home, old man.”

He lifts the bottle to his mouth, ignoring me. Raffe takes a long drink before he waves his bottle toward the headstones. “Jackson has two mothers, and I couldn’t save either one of them.”

My gaze roams over the area, not really knowing what to say. Just then my wife pulls up. We both turn to watch as she gets out of the car. A warmth settles over me, and the wind picks up. The woman is so beautiful, even the dead take a breath.

Raffe shakes his head, knowing he’s about to be defeated.

“I thought I might find you both out here.”

Daisy doesn’t shy away from the dark like she used to. She faces it head on.

She pats my head like a good boy. It makes me want to spank her ass, but it will have to wait until we’re home. I don’t want to get struck down by the woman behind me.

“It’s taco night at the warehouse,” she coaxes, lowering herself to the ground beside Raffe. Tacos were Rachel’s favorite.

He holds the bottle up in front of her face. “Sorry, but I already have dinner plans.”

She stares at him for a long moment.

“Do you think Rachel helped you get on your feet just so you could sit at her dead ones, sloshed out of your fucking mind every night?”

Ouch. What is she doing?

Raffe bangs his head back against the tree. “I wish Dirk and Jesse would have just let me rot in my wheelchair back then. I wish I never would have fallen in love with her!” he yells, his spit flying everywhere.

He doesn’t ruffle her feathers. She just watches him calmly as he continues.

“As a matter of fact, I wish Dirk would have left me in a gutter back in LA.” He tries to jump to his feet but does a damn sloppy job of it. He stumbles a few times before he rights himself.

Daisy stands slowly and follows him. He falls to the ground between Jackson’s birth mother’s grave and Rachel’s. “It should be me.” His fists punch the dirt. “I should be the one buried here. Not them.”

She stands behind him as his rage erupts. He continues to spew the most unhinged shit I’ve ever heard.

“She haunts me, you know?” Raffe begins to rock himself, his gaze bouncing along the edge of the cemetery like he’s waiting for a ghost to step from the trees.

I stand up and grab her arm, pulling her away, but she stops me.

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “You can go on to the warehouse. We’ll be there soon.”

“I’m not leaving you with him like this,” I say, trying to reason with her.

“Go.” She pushes me away. “I’ve got this.”

I don’t know why, but against my better judgement, I walk away.

When I get on my bike, I look back to find him in her arms, sobbing.

It’s the first time I’ve seen him cry over his wife’s death. At first, I thought he was just being incredibly stoic, but a few weeks later he turned to the bottle. The club’s been coddling him ever since, because damn, the dude just lost his wife.

Maybe we were all too deep in our own pain to see that he needed a little push. She pushed him alright.

Right over a cliff.

When I get to the warehouse, things aren’t much lighter. Everyone is sitting around with a drink in their hand. Even Grandma Maggie is throwing one back.

Elizabeth yells from the kitchen, “The food is all set up outside!”

No one moves. “Come on guys. You’ve got to eat,” I tell them. “You don’t want to hurt her feelings, do you?”

A few of them groan, but everyone starts to make their way to the back door.

“Jesse’s downstairs,” Dirk slurs as he passes me. He tries to go down after her, but I direct him toward Billie Rose.

“I’ll get her. Go get some fucking food in you.”

Elizabeth pats me on the back. “Thank you for your help. I don’t take offense to it. Everyone is just missing Rachel extra today.”

“Yeah, I guess. Daisy is out at the cemetery with Raffe. He was in a bad way when I left. Hopefully she gets him back here soon.”

“She will. I better get out there and see how they’re doing.” She hurries away.

I’ll give Elizabeth, Daisy, and Lexie credit. They may be new here, but man, am I thankful they’re with us. They have been kicking ass for this club.

I push the door open to the studio, finding Jesse staring at a blank canvas. I clear my throat to let her know I’m behind her.

She doesn’t turn to look at me. “Did you get Raffe out of there?” she asks, her voice devoid of any emotion.

“I didn’t, but Daisy is with him. She pushed him, and he lost his shit.”

“Good.”

I scratch my head. It’s weird seeing everyone so down, especially Jess. “Um, are you having a creative block? I just ask because I know it happens to Daiz sometimes.”

Finally, she looks at me. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispers. Her bottom lip quivers, and her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m sure something will come to you.”

Her head drops. “I don’t know what to do about Raffe.”

“Oh.” Shit. I walk over and place my hand on her shoulder. “He’ll be okay. He just needs more time.”

“If I lost Dirk, I would die. I would literally die.” She begins to cry.

“Hey.” I pull her into my arms, something I’ve never done, because fuck I’ve never wanted to die. But something tells me Dirk won’t mind. “Don’t grieve the loss of him before he’s gone. You’ll only waste precious time full of anxiety. Okay? I get it, but don’t do that to yourself.”

She sniffles a little bit, and I realize I’m getting a rare glimpse of the vulnerable, softer side of Jesse. “I can’t handle seeing Raffe and Dirk hurting so much.”

“Like I said, it’s going to take time. We’ve just got to keep everybody moving. One day at a time.”

Jesse continues to cry, so I hold her. This woman has carried this club for years. She deserves to have someone carry her for once.

When her sobs subside, I push away from her to look in her eyes. “This club will survive this. We just gotta keep looking out for each other.”

She nods, wiping her eyes. “Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder.”

“My shoulder is available to you anytime.”

We get upstairs just as Daisy and Raffe walk in. He looks like shit, but he’s on his feet without a bottle in his hand. It’s something.

He and Jesse stare at each other for a few seconds, and then he rushes forward and grabs her, hugging her tight. I step away, letting them have their moment. Daisy takes my hand and leads us out of the room. Dirk is leaning against the doorframe, watching them.

I look back, finding the three of them in an embrace. They have been through a lot together.

We head outside and fill our plates before finding a quiet spot under a tree to eat. My gaze roams over the lake, hating how quiet everyone is.

“It’s going to be okay, Brody,” Daisy says, offering me a small smile.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. Nothing feels right without her. I guess I knew how much it was going to hurt me, but I didn’t think about how it was going to affect the rest of the club. She was always so quiet. I didn’t know how much she’d influenced everyone.”

“Sometimes big impacts come in quiet packages.”

It makes me chuckle lightly, and I reach out to cup the side of her face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Her attention pulls away from me to watch Lexie setting up the projector. The club bought it a few years ago so we could watch movies outside. The kids love it.

“What is she doing? I don’t think anyone is in the mood for a movie,” I grumble lightly.

“Maybe it’s not a movie.”

“What else would it be?”

She returns her gaze to mine. “Rachel’s birthday gift to herself.”

I’m so confused, but I don’t have time to ask what she means because Jackson and Willow arrive. Everyone cheers up a little bit for Willow’s sake.

“She gets to come home this Friday,” Jackson tells us as we all gather around.

Raffe, Dirk, and Jesse join us a few minutes later. Willow passes her phone around to show everyone her pictures. “We hated leaving her, but we thought we’d at least come by and eat with everyone. For Rachel,” she finishes softly.

When the phone gets to Raffe, his mouth tips up slightly. He can’t help it. “She’s so fucking cute,” he manages to choke out as he passes the phone to Dirk.

As soon as everyone has had a peek, Lexie stands up and whistles for our attention. Everyone turns to face her. “Um, geez, do you all have to look at me? You’re making me nervous.”

We all chuckle.