Ending the Harsh Cause

Yuki came to attention a little more at Manekamaru's remark. A little detail she noticed quickly with him on edge with the scene. She knew it was coming at some point. And if she knew it, Yuki obviously knew it was coming. This was something that would have been predicted. However, he wouldn’t know how it would play out. Even Yumi in planning for this couldn’t really say how she felt about it.

Scenarios played out in her mind. She wasn’t certain if he would just keep his casual nature that he had the whole time. He never attacked her or launched a surprise attack at any point. So it was something that she had largely ruled out. But she had been ignoring him for a long time with their promise of a rematch. How long would he wait unsatisfied with a conclusion to their fight? Yumi felt that she couldn’t completely rule it out as a possibility.

But as she expected, he played his hand the way she figured seemed the most likely scenario. He just came out in the open asking for another fight. Casually, he just laid down the challenge as though he was asking for a lunch date next Sunday with all of the practice and experience to make it seem like it was nothing. It would have taken her back if she didn’t see it coming.

In her silence to read the situation with him, an impossible thing to do for her anyway, the demon just watched her waiting patiently for an answer. An immediate answer wasn’t one that she could actually deliver to him, which probably shocked Yuki a little. She didn’t know what he expected her to do, but sort of imagined that she would take up the challenge immediately. Given their difference in power, it would have been a short fight now.

Yumi met with his gaze hoping for any sort of clue to his thoughts, but that failed. He remained the same closed book that she failed to understand to this day. The demon spoke in a twisting riddle-like manner that she didn’t ever figure out his point. Sometimes it felt like he was trying to teach her and other times trying to give her a sermon about her flaws. And it was never clear when things turned from left to right with him until they were already there. Definitely an annoying personality trait of the demon decided Yumi from their first conversation.

Staring in silence only delayed an answer and Manekamaru seemed aware of it as much as he didn’t seem to care as well. ‘If I just said not now, would he leave? Or is he going to press this subject? He’s been pretty passive about it for quite some time.’ Yumi still had to answer him in some way. That much he waited for if nothing else.

Eventually, she crossed her arms, tired of the whole thing. Her mind wasn’t really churning out any smart solutions for her. Yumi looked back at Yuki seeing what he was doing. He remained a bystander in this continuing his support character status to her story. So Yuki stayed prepared for a need, but wouldn’t act. “Look…I’m not interested in a fight with you.”

Chapter 468 – Ending the Harsh Cause

Manekamaru didn’t react in any way to her answer. His composure didn’t change, something that she sort of counted on happening, but also thought she might finally see a break in his armor. It seemed flawless still. “You made a promise however to fight again.”

“I’m breaking that promise then.”

“You’re breaking it? You intend to never fight me?”

She nodded to him before answering clearly. “That’s right.”

“Because you see me as a friend now?”

Yumi took a step back with his question. “What?! No! Of course not! You’re a nuisance at best.” She looked away from Manekamaru at the training arena Yuki made for her.

“Then what is your reasoning?”

“Why does it matter?” It was just like him to get into the details of something when she wanted to skirt around it. Yumi played defensively in her body language with him, not being skilled in keeping her intentions or emotions hidden.

The demon walked over to her side where the platform Yuki created for the entrance into the arena rested. “Because I asked,” he replied in an oddly blunt, almost childish manner.

Yumi stared at him expecting to see some sort of grin or smirk to show that he was playing around with her. Any second she was convinced that she would see it. A chance to see the placid faced demon break into any sort of emotion would be a rare sight for her to behold. She definitely would pay to see that. Yet he didn’t. ‘Was he serious just now?’ She really wasn’t sure about him. “What?” ended up being the only thing that she could utter in response to him.

“I’m curious.”

‘Now he’s just being annoying, that’s at least consistent…’ In a strange way, she found that answer more comforting to deal with than his other one. It didn’t really make any more logical sense that she picked one over the other. The course remained the same, he wanted her to explain herself.

Explaining why made her look back at Yuki for some unknown reason. It wasn’t as though she expected him to answer for her or even that she was looking for ideas from him. Delaying seemed to be the only thing that was on her mind. “I just sort of don’t care about it anymore.” She looked at him to see if that was enough, but he just stared without giving her a reply.

Yumi sat down feeling like this was going to take a while now. She didn't even know if she was going to be getting her sparring practice in tonight with the way things were going with Manekamaru. “There is the obvious thing. I fought evenly with one of your Demon Lords for some time, though I never did see his full power.” There were hints of sadness in her tone as she spoke about her fight with Hokuren. “You’re looking for a good fight and one where you can die. I can hardly give that to you anymore. Sure I can kill you quite easily at the strength I have now, but I don’t think that would really satisfy what you’re looking for. And I doubt you’d want me holding back just so that you can have a fairer fight.”

“Even though I am a demon.”

“Yes…it stopped being about humans and demons for me.” Yumi thought about it for a moment. She had just said it without thinking about it too much. ‘When did that happen? I didn’t even care about them. They’re demons, they're supposed to die, that's the way the whole thing just is here. Isn’t it?’ It wasn’t something that she really thought too hard about until she focused it upon herself. That sort of thing just hit her harder than she thought it would.

While she remained frozen in thought, Yuki called out to her, completely going ignored. He glanced up to Manekamaru, who didn’t show any sort of reaction. The demon just waited on Yumi to return from her internal confrontation to end.

She snapped back up looking over at the waiting demon. “I guess I sort of came to my own conclusion.” It was hard not to be vague as she tried to put it all into words herself.

“What conclusion did you reach?”

“That I’m not interested in killing all the demons. Though I guess it’s not really that either.” Yumi rested her head on her hand looking forward beyond letting the moonlit vista soak through her. “When I saw everything happening I only focused on humans were good and demons were evil. It made an easy justification. But I was also wanting something, I think…”

Yumi paused in speech even with her mind going on forward. ‘Yeah, I wanted something more out of this. Looking for the personalities was just one thing, but I could do other things here…’ Then she realized that she stopped herself mid thought with them. “What did I want, yes I know you’re going to be continuing to lead the questions so that I spill my heart.”

Sliding her eyes over to Manekamaru, she checked to see if there was any sort of reaction from him that she cut him off at the pass. As expected, he just simply watched her with interest, but no reaction. All she had done was take the words out of his mouth. She knew what he would end up saying. It was too easy to plot out at this point.

Her head slumped in her shoulders with the weight of things. “Can’t believe I’m going to be saying this in front of you…” More delaying as Yumi searched out her words. Little grumbles came out of her lips as she found him still to be annoying, even if right.

“I came here in search of something. Well more than one thing. I was trying to understand something about myself.” Her personalities’ objective still remained unclear to her. After so many weeks in here she hoped for something and nothing came up. It was going to be harder than she thought, but she never expected them to hijack the machine that Phoibe made and use it for their own purpose.

“No closer to that,” she remarked flatly and moved on quickly. “But there was another thing. It sort of just happened because of this whole situation, not that I wasn’t already trying to figure it out.” She scratched her head a little with her mind going back through memories of the last year. So many things changed for her. If she tried to meet herself in the past she doubted that she could even recognize who she was anymore, even if that was a bit of an exaggeration.

Though in one thing that hadn't really changed, if she focused on it. “I wanted to get stronger. After what happened at home I needed to do something. So I followed you to Atlantis hoping that I would figure that out.” Atlantis proved to be more of a disaster for her when it came up than a positive experience. She gained confidence with her power, but too many things went wrong rather than right. It was nothing like what she wanted. “It wasn’t like your manga. I don’t really get caught up in them like you do, but I guess I sort of figured it would play out like that. All fitting together neatly and we’d do what we have to do. Sounds pretty silly to even think that things would just play out like a story where everything just works out how it should and nothing bad happens.”

“…Yumi…”

“No, it’s fine Yuki. Consequences are part of the real world. You do something and you can’t take it back. You bear the regret. This isn’t a story where things will end with a perfect happy end. There’s an effect. It’s something that can just be overlooked in fiction, but reality is different. You have to live with that on your heart the whole time.”

A heavy sigh came out of her lips as she spoke about it aloud what had only been private words before. “I knew that. That’s how life is. The weight is just different. When I got here I thought I could finally find my answer to it all.”

It was a complicated world, for being a fake one. Something created from her mind or the mind of the personalities. That part was never very clear to her. She assumed that it was from them, but at the same time they were a part of her. They all came from her as Yuki had said. So it would mean it all was her in some way. A way that she just didn’t comprehend yet. “In this world where strength governed everything, I figured I could finally understand things.”

Yumi shifted her arms around trying to find a different comfortable position as the words became less so. “Maybe if I had strength that would be enough. If I could be like Saki and Seiji then I would know. I would have the answer. The answer to how they can keep going after everything that happened. How they live with Atlantis and Takako.” She buried her head down for a moment in her knees.

“After everything that happened, it seems a little ironic that it would be a demon that made me face myself.” Hokuren’s battle and her feelings during it came back to her, all the complex emotions that weighed on her during the battle that he cut free for her. “That demon, that man…Hokuren…he made me realize…”

Leaning her head back against the door of the entrance, she looked over at Manekamaru. “Punishment. I wanted to be punished for what I did. That’s how I had been. In a way, I probably thought what happened with Takako I deserved, since I escaped consequences before. I had so many things I was trying to be and follow. But he just cut through it all and made things clear for me.”

The demon that started it all though stood in front of her. He tried to make her question what she was doing. “I had been fighting and killing trying to escape things. I focused only on perception more than anything else. And I just wanted to be stronger so it didn’t happen again. And I couldn’t let myself lose control. I had to remember what I did. But I was also afraid of it all. I thought it was wrong to act as though none of it mattered and just enjoy the moment.”

Another sigh came out of her mouth with thoughts churning around her. “I mean how could I let myself enjoy such things when I did such terrible things. I shouldn’t be happy when others are sad. But he showed me that I could still have fun. That my consequences don’t define who I am, but what I wish to be.”

Yumi stood up, reaching her conclusion for Manekamaru. “So no I won’t fight you anymore. You’re not my enemy and I can’t grant you what you want any more from me. You might be a demon, but I can’t be blindly throwing around my strength because I can.”