Page 39

They were both awake early the next day.

First Rider left at once to bathe in the freezing stream close by to their camp, as was the daily custom of all Pikuni men and boys, regardless of weather.

When this was done, he filled one of his parfleche bags with the water Otahki would need for her bath.

It was another Pikuni custom: a man was charged with the task of bringing water to his woman for her bath, since no man expected a woman to bathe in freezing water.

Instead, a woman's man made it possible for all the females in his life to enjoy a steam bath.

As soon as he was dressed, First Rider headed back to their wikiup, and, entering, hung the bag of water over the sticks held up by two Y-shaped solid branches secured on two sides of the fire.

Smiling at Otahki, he turned around to leave their makeshift lodge to care for their horses… and to give her privacy.

Finding their two horses well fed and happy, he brushed them both down, removing any stickers, and then he headed back toward their sanctuary.

Finding his woman dressed and ready, he came down to sit beside her, and, reaching in back of him, he brought out the store of dried meat.

However, not knowing of the success of the coming hunt for food, he ensured they did not consume all of the food.

They ate in silence until she, at last, asked, "Where do we go to hunt?"

He gestured around him. "We…hunt close to lodging. Already saw many game tracks. Will set up snares so if hunt not good, we still have meat."

Her reply was a simple grin. But, soon their morning meal was finished, and, leaning over, First Rider began to bury the coals deep in the ashes of the fire.

"Why does thou take pains to bury the coals?" Otahki asked.

"Will keep coals hot…easy to get fire started again."

Having been bent over their small fire, First Rider sat up suddenly and bumped against the softness of his woman. Turning to face her, he beheld Otahki sitting very closely behind him. He smiled, taking in and admiring her beauty.

Since embarking on this journey, she had asked him to braid her long pale hair in the same fashion as the other Pikuni women. The effect was stunning on her, and looking down into her dark-blue eyes, he felt himself swimming in admiration of her.

He might have told her of his adoration, but she was already speaking, and she said, "Since we two left the Pikuni camp, I be much indebted to thee for insisting I, too, wear a capote coat. Though 'tis not very fashionable, 'tis warm, no mistake."

"And," he added, "it white, making it hard for animals…see you."

"Why be this so?"

"Because snow…white, too." He grinned at her and winked. "Come, there…game tracks farther up mountain. You see them?"

She shook her head. "What kind of game?"

"White mountain goats," he answered. "Meat sometimes musky, but satisfying. We need meat to eat and skins for beds. Their hides warm, warmer even…than buffalo. Keep us from waking up shivering and cold…middle of night to…stoke up fire. Way there not far."

She nodded. "I be followin' thee."

"I know," he said, reaching out to bring her in close.

Although he knew she was trying to remain distant from him, he couldn't help himself and he bent toward her to kiss her gently.

Then, raising his head, he realized it simply wasn't enough, and he repeated the caress.

Breaking off the kiss, he brought her in closer yet, and he whispered in her ear, "Hear me on this.

I beg this with all…of heart. Do not leave me. "

He looked on as her face fell, taking note of the moment when the joy left her eyes. But, he didn't take back his plea. Somehow, in some manner, there must be a way for them to stay together.

Scooting out of his arms, she said, "Do not ask this of me own self, I beseech thee.

Does thou think this be easy for me? I love thee.

I will always love thee so long as I live.

But, lovin' thee as I do does not mean I can live with thee when thou be married to another.

Please, I ask thee to understand: I cannot stay with thee as a second wife.

Nor as your medicine woman. Not even as friend.

'Twould be too painful for me to be seein' thee and… " She gulped back a cry.

He did nothing. He said nothing. What she said was true, and worse, he could think of no possible way to keep this woman happy and, at the same time, close to him, even though he was trying to envision a possible solution to their predicament.

Sadly, he knew he was bound to hurt her regardless of which path he must take. If he prevented Otahki from leaving him, she would hurt; if he let her go, she would hurt, too. As would he.

Since learning of the possibility of Tsistsaki being alive and living with the Flatheads, he had realized if he, four years ago, had been able to have found Tsistsaki, this marriage between himself and Otahki might never have happened.

But, then he would have never known the love of Otahki, and for this, he would be forever grateful to the Above Ones for letting him have at least this short time with her.

Perhaps Old Man was being the trickster and was tempting him into severing his word of honor to Tsistsaki and her father. Perhaps.

All he knew with certainty was that if Otahki left him, happiness would flee from his life. Still, happy or not, he would be a good husband to Tsistsaki. But, he would never again know the love of Otahki, in both body and spirit.

At last he replied to Otahki, and he said, "We not know Tsistsaki in…

Flathead camp. Perhaps it…mistake. I wish it just…

bad mistake. I want…keep you with me…make happy…

get you away from bad man who try…kill you.

Did not know how deep in love with you I would fall.

I was…blind to you when we met…first time.

Did not see beyond…your youth. If I smarter, I would have waited for… you…grow up."

She gasped, and he watched as tears gathered in her eyes. Spinning away from him, she crawled toward the very back of their shelter. He followed her, and, kneeling beside her, he took her once again into his arms and declared, "Know I…always love you…deeply…all my life…for long as I live."

She gulped, and he felt her struggle to hold back her cries.

Murmuring low, he said, "We…love. We find a way. But, now we need meat…and warm skins. Must hunt. Cannot leave you here, alone. Must come with me. I not mean…make you cry."

"I know," she gulped. "I…I be sorry. Let me remain here alone…for a moment. I will be ready to go with thee to hunt…soon."

What could he say? He would grant this woman most anything.

He crawled outside their shelter, and since he was required to wait, he pulled up a log, sat on it and began to fashion a new pair of moccasins for Otahki…

these made with the fur inside the moccasin.

He had felt her cold feet upon him during the night. With these…no more cold feet.

As he worked, he began to hum the tune of an old, old Blackfoot love song. Crooning it softly, he put English words to the melody, and he sang:

If I could, I would love you forever.

If I could, I would tell you over and over how I love you.

If I could, I would keep you with me always.

You would never want for love. Always I would be there for you.

But, soon you will go away and happiness will flee.

What can I do to make you stay?

What can I do to keep you with me for all our lives?

But, if we cannot stay together,

You might never know the deep, deep love I have for you.

I tell you true, I will always belong to you.

He sang the song over and over, and in doing so, he opened up his very soul to her. But, at last he had completed the stitching of her new moccasins, and setting them aside, he looked up to see her sitting on her knees, there a little inside the opening of their tiny hut.

They stared at each other for a few precious moments. Neither of them spoke. But then, as though unable to help herself, she flung herself into his arms.

She was crying, and he was, too.

"Oh, what are we to do? I be not thinkin' I can bear it."

He petted her hair, and then, softly, he whispered in her ear, "We find…way. If I pray to Sun, our Creator, and ask Him… show me how it can be done. He will show…right path to me. Just do not…leave me…not yet."

As her tears fell upon his shoulder, he thought he died a little inside. Bringing his head down to hers, he choked out the words, "Stay little while. I not stop till…find…right path…somehow."

She nodded, and between her cries, she murmured, "Aye, just a little while. I will stay."

****

As the day progressed, they did not hunt the white mountain goats.

Indeed, he didn't even go out to hunt. They did nothing more than hold each other, one touch quickly becoming another until they were soon naked within each other's arms, both knowing this trip across the mountains might be their last opportunity to ever again make love.

He heard her pray, and his heart beat furiously in his chest as he heard her words:

"My dearest Lord, please forgive me own self.

Thou knows I have loved this man from the first moment we sang together to heal me own father.

I was bein' his from that moment until now, and for all me own life.

Give me thy grace and be allowin' me to love this man as he needs and as me own heart needs, too.

I beg this in the name of thy son. Amen. "

He felt her tears mix with his as he kissed her lips over and over, his tongue mating with hers.

Then his lips explored outward, finding her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and ears.

Wrapping one of his hands into her braided hair, he massaged her ears with his other hand.

Then he stroked her neck, but soon he pressed on down her body to her chest, to each breast, paying them homage.

Her gentle, high-pitched sighs were all he needed to keep moving downward over her body, kissing every bit of flesh there at her stomach. Then he pressed on downward toward her femininity, and he kissed her there, too, lingering there when she began to move with him.

Oh, the heady sweetness of her; he would never forget her magic nor her fragrance.

He wanted more, much more, and he thought he might never again wash his hand that touched her.

His kisses there were eliciting a heated response from her, and his caress became even more impassioned.

And, when he felt her reach the peak of her efforts, he felt as though he were as pleasured with their lovemaking as she.

But, it wasn't enough. He was more than ready to make love to this woman as the Creator intended, and he scooted back up toward her and kissed her over and over until their tongues were once again mating in this game of love.

And, then when he became one with her in body, he knew he was tied to her soul to soul.

As they danced in the courtship of love, he felt the depth of her love within his heart.

It was beautiful; it was so stimulating, exciting and stirring, he began to cry.

Was this all they were to have? But, still they danced and danced with one another in the ritual of love until, at last, he changed their positions and came up to his knees in front of her, placing her legs over his shoulders.

In this way, he could look down into her eyes and see her every response to their lovemaking.

When at last they reached the apex of their love, both knowing this might be the last time they could be together in love, he wept. She must have been feeling the same as he, for oo.

And, when at last their pleasure met its peak, they didn't pull away from each other. Instead, they stared at one another as though they might never again experience such an embrace.

Between their tears, he said simply, "We…find a way. Must be one."

His words, however, seemed to elicit more tears from her, and placing her arms around his neck, she brought his body down to hers and whispered, "Aye. If there be a way, we will be findin' it."

For the rest of the day, food was forgotten. They hungered only for one another, and they made love well into the evening and onward into the night, resting only a little between each glorious moment. And so, the night passed in this way, finding them pledging themselves to one another in body.

But, strangely enough, when the sun rose up in the eastern sky, tiredness did not overcome First Rider. Instead he felt empowered. He would find a way. He must find a way.