Page 31

Liliann could barely speak. As it was, she didn't make a move to leave his arms. Frozen into place, she yet whispered, "She be alive? But, I was thinkin' she be dead."

"I thought this…too."

A deep painful silence followed First Rider's confession. At last, Liliann found the wherewithal within herself to ask, "What happened, then, that thou be thinkin' she be still alive?"

"Heavy Storm, a friend…came here today. He said…Tsistsaki in Flathead camp."

"I did see thou talkin' to him now. Be he certain 'twas she?"

" áa , he…certain."

"But, could it not be a woman that be lookin' like Tsistsaki, and not Tsistsaki, in truth?"

"To her…he spoke," mumbled First Rider. "She answered…in Blackfeet. He told her…he take her back to Pikuni camp. She agreed. Make time and place. She not come. When he asked people in Flathead camp about her, no one knew her."

"How odd," murmured Liliann. "No one there be knowin' her? Odd. People sometimes look alike. It's rare, but…"

"He certain it…her."

Liliann was speechless. Tsistsaki alive? What did this mean? Would First Rider feel it was his duty to steal her back from the Flathead and reunite her with her own people?

Of course he would.

And, if he were to find her and bring her back, what would happen to t heir marriage? He, knowing she, herself, could never be a second wife.

Am I to become a nineteen-year-old woman who has married two men—one after the other—and within only a few months?

If she had still been in Hungary, her actions would have been considered shameful and, indeed, scandalous. For a moment, she felt the full impact of what it might feel like to be utterly disgraced.

But, another, more-encouraging thought took hold within her mind: would First Rider wish to go to all the trouble of rescuing his first wife?

Sadly, it was an easy question for her to answer without even having to voice the inquiry. This man had already spent four years of his life in search of his first wife. A few extra months consumed in finding her and bringing her home would be as nothing to him.

But, on the other hand, Liliann knew this man also loved her; knew she, herself, could never be a second wife.

Could she suggest the idea to him of 'letting sleeping dogs lie'?

After all, in four years' time, there hadn't been a single word about Tsistsaki until First Rider had learned of her death only a few months ago.

Also, if he were to "rescue" Tsistsaki and bring her back to the Pikuni camp, many problems would be created because of it, the biggest dilemma being their own marriage.

Sometimes, she thought, especially when an action would bring on other and more serious problems, it was best to simply let it lie.

Taking a deep breath for courage, she asked, "Does thou think thou could let sleeping dogs lie?"

"Sleeping dogs?" he asked.

"It be an old sayin'. What I am askin' is if thou could let it be? If Tsistsaki did not come to the place where she could be rescued, does thou not see she might be wishin' to stay where she is? If she be lookin' well and there be no trouble, why not just let it stay as it is?"

Inhaling deeply, First Rider didn't answer at first. But, at length, he said, "Because I cannot. What if she is slave and unable to come? Man who owns her might be bad man with bad medicine…people afraid to talk."

Liliann frowned. Then, leaving his arms, she came to sit down upon the couch First Rider's birth mother had made for her, its comfort, for the moment, going unnoticed. First Rider followed her down, sitting cross-legged beside her. Reaching out, he took her hand in his.

He murmured, "Made promise to Tsistsaki's father. Said I not stop looking for her until…find her…bring her back. If she alive…must go…bring her back to people."

"Thou must?"

"Word of honor is…sacred trust. I will…talk to Tsistsaki's father…explain problem…your God not allow you…be second wife, ask him if he able…'let it be'. If he agrees, then I…let lie the sleepy dog. If he not set me free"—he shrugged—"I gave word."

Liliann barely knew what to say, what to think.

"Does this mean, now, that if thou rescues her and brings her back to camp, thou will make her thy first wife again?"

"She already first wife. Cannot change what is."

"But, could thou not ask her to let thee go? To throw thee away? And, thou do the same? After all, it be four years, and she has been across the mountains. So close to thee. Why, if she be a slave, could she not have escaped? Anythin' be better than bein' a slave."

"Mountains not easy to cross," he replied. "She would die."

"But, it if were me," Liliann said, "I would be tryin' to find a way."

He sighed. But, he didn't say a word. Instead, he sighed again. At some length, he said, "It not matter. Gave word to her father. Gave vow to her…she be first wife. I have to try…bring back unless her father agrees…'let dogs sleep.'"

"But, thou will ask him?"

First Rider nodded. "I ask."

Liliann looked away from him and, under her breath, mumbled, "Thou made promises to me, too."

But, he heard her and he replied, "You be second wife. I not abandon. Love you with all…heart. Love you more than—"

"Thou be knowin' I cannot be your second wife when thou would be livin' with thy first wife, even if thou keeps her in a different lodge. Me own beliefs forbid it."

He sighed once more before he said, "I know."

"Dear Lord, what is to become of us? If thou bring her back and she becomes thy wife, what will thou do about me? Will thou be throwin' me away, then?"

"Never!"

"I'd be havin' to leave."

" Saa , you…stay here with the people," he said. "You belong here. I take care…of you, hunt for you, make sure…life easy for you. Not as wife, so you not disobey your God. I take care…of you as…my medicine woman."

Liliann heaved in a deep sigh. She looked toward the tepee's entrance, now pinned into place. At length, she said, "Thou must know I cannot be doin' as thou suggest. I would be seein' thee everyday with her. Thou must know how hard 'twould be on me own self."

He didn't say a word, and a long silence followed.

After a while, she asked, "I suppose we'll be leavin' soon, then?"

"We?"

"Until we be knowin' the truth, I am still thy wife. Besides, I am still havin' the same dream. So, until thou makes her a wife in fact, I be goin' where thou goes."

"Dream…you still have?"

"I do. Since I be here in camp, it seems to be comin' more frequently than before."

"Why you not tell me?" he asked.

She shrugged. "So happy have I been with thee, I could not speak of it." When he said not a single word, she asked again, "And so, when exactly does thou think we should be leavin'?"

" Saa, no. You not go. I go across mountains alone. It…my quest. You…not come. Hard journey. The Snakes, the River People, the Kootenai tribes live in mountains…all enemies…mountain trails hard…dangerous. You stay here."

Liliann merely shook her head, then said, "Until the moment when Tsistsaki runs into thine arms, I still be married to thee. I took me own vows, too. I be keepin' them now, and I'll be goin' with thee across the mountains."

So saying, she turned her back on him and lay down, her face toward the tepee liner, the pleasant scent of the buffalo skin liner and the brilliant colors and shapes painted on it seeming to mock her.

When First Rider came to lie down beside her and take her into his arms, she still didn't turn in toward him.

She couldn't. After all, she was hurting; she was losing this man to Tsistsaki, a woman who Liliann was beginning to think didn't deserve him.

Oh, she understood First Rider's dedication to honor his pledge to Tsistsaki, as well as to Tsistsaki 's father.

But, even with this understanding, the hurt was overpowering, and she felt as though she were an insignificant detail against the impact of what First Rider thought was right.

But, it wasn't right; it couldn't be right, if only because it would cause her marriage to First Rider to disintegrate, as though it had never been.

She cried. Of course, she cried. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so happy as she had been during these first few months of marriage with First Rider. And, now she was losing him. And, the worst part of it was this: she understood why.

But, she didn't really understand it at all, if truth be told. There was more to this, but what? Was it fate?

No, she didn't believe in fate.

But, there was an oddity about Tsistsaki's reappearance at this time.

First Rider had lost his first wife after only a few months of marriage, and now he was rediscovering her again after being married to another…

and for only a few months, as well. Aye, it was strange how the timing in these incidents seemed similar.

But, it could also be only a coincidence, and in the full scheme of life, such a minor fact probably meant nothing.

Liliann lay still, and so caught up was she in her own misery, she didn't hear the muted sighs of First Rider. But, when he uttered "I go alone" into her ear, his words could not be discounted.

Did she have a fight on her hands? She would accompany him, even if it meant she had to follow him from a distance.

Indeed, she would go with him.

****

Liliann was standing on a cliff high above the prairie, and although the wind blew her hair and her dress back, she didn't dare move.

Looking outward toward the prairie, she saw the lone rider approaching her position, the place where she had decided to make her stand.

She knew the man was an enemy, and at first she thought the lone rider was Ernest.

In her past dreams, the lone rider had always been Ernest, come to kill her husband and drag her away. But, now she was no longer certain it was he.