Not a day has gone by that I don't miss her. She was part of my life for over ten years, always so strong and loving when she was around. If she could’ve settled down, she would’ve made me a good mate.

Nyko, my wolf, weakly raises his head at my words and growls. "Marissa couldn't settle down with us because she never loved us. If she had, she wouldn’t have mistreated us. You shouldn’t even be thinking about her. We have a loving mate waiting at home. Let's go to her."

"You're right, Nyko. I love our little mate. She’s a treasure." Nyko nods, then collapses in a heap, out cold.

I drain my glass and stand, rocking unsteadily on my feet. "Think I'm heading home, dudes. I’ve had enough and I’m missing my girl."

"You can't go home yet, Miles," Roger slurs. "You don't get to see Miss Priss until your bonding ceremony tomorrow night anyway." He laughs, wiggling his eyebrows. "Besides, I got a little bachelor party gift coming for you." He leers suggestively and chuckles. The others just look confused.

I’m angry at the insulting name he calls Paisley. She's not prissy, just shy and soft-spoken. I open my mouth to call him out, but then I sense her voice. Marissa!

"Miles,” she says, breathy and coaxing, the same voice she always uses to get her way.

That soft, “I’m sorry, please forgive me” tone, the one that never fails to break down my defenses, makes my heart ache.

I can't look at her, but feel her hands slide under my shirt and run up my back.

Her magical touch sends electric currents dancing across my bare skin. I surrender to the moment.

Paisley

Bachelorette Party

The evening has flown by, and we’re all having a great time, when I start to feel a wave of nausea. I walk over to the drink bar and pour myself an iced ginger ale. Moving to a nearby chair, I lean back, sipping the soda, and taking deep breaths.

As the nausea rises, my friend Syn glances over at me and touches my arm. “Are you okay, honey? ”

“I’m fine. I must’ve eaten something that didn’t agree with me,” I groan, pressing a hand to my stomach.

She reaches up and feels my forehead. “Geez, you’re clammy, but no fever. Should I get Rach?”

Our resident medical tech, Rach, is with us at the party.

“No,” I choke out, shaking my head. "Oh goddess."

I jump up and bolt to the bathroom, barely making it before I throw up.

Miles

Bachelor Party

"Miles. Why won't you look at me?" Marissa huskily whispers in my ear.

Even though her hot breath on my skin sends chills down my spine, that question fills me with outrage. I stumble drunkenly, struggling to pull away from her touch.

"Why won't I look at you?" I sneer. "You ran out on me a year ago.

What are you doing here now?" I turn, stare into her jewel green eyes, and am lost again. That old familiar yearning twists in my stomach, and I lose my breath. It’s always been her, my first love, just out of reach, like a star in the sky. The one thing I could never hold on to.

"I'm baaaack." She smiles broadly, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, and throwing her arms out like she’s making a grand entrance. "And, I’m not going anywhere ever again."

She's never said that before. Does she mean it? Can I trust her this time?

She steps closer, twines her fingers in my hair, and pulls my lips to hers. It feels like coming home. I missed this. I’ve missed her. That deep, familiar longing rises inside me.

"We have a sweet little faithful mate waiting on us at home," Nyko grumbles groggily.

I try to pull away from Marissa’s kiss. What am I doing?

Marissa feels the rumble in my chest and tightens her hold, keeping me close. She giggles. "I’ve missed you, too, baby."

I finally break free. "I’m going home."

"I'll walk you out." Marissa pouts and immediately clutches my arm, hanging off me.

Not wanting to make a scene, I reluctantly let her come along, her hips swaying as she sashays out the door, a victorious smile playing across her unforgettable face. Goddess, help me, I still want her.

I’m torn—caught between the hurricane that is Marissa, the passionate ruins of what was, and the lighthouse that is Paisley, my cherished, steady, and safe love who holds the promise of what could be.

The boys are hooting as we head to the door. Roger, loudest of them all, shouts, "I knew it! Go, Miles!" and makes a vulgar gesture with his hips, which I ignore. But Alpha isn't celebrating. He’s looking on with a stern, disapproving glare. I turn away, burning with shame and denial.

Once outside, I take a deep breath of the cool night air, trying to clear my head. Marissa is still pressed against me. I feel so confused. "Marissa, I found my mate."

She begins walking up the street, pulling me along with her. "I know. Roger told me. Miles, we've been together for over ten years."

"Together?" I scoff. "I haven’t seen you in a year since you walked out on me. Where do you get off on this? Wait… when did you find out about my mate?"

"I ran into Roger at a bar last night, and he told me. "

"So, you were fine until you found out someone else wanted me. Is that it?"

"I've never been fine, Miles. I’ve been a fool.

I love you." She opens the front door to the motel next to the bar.

"My whole life, it’s always been you. I was just scared.

" She leads me down the hall, stops at a room, and pulls out a keycard.

Unlocking the door, she steps inside and tugs me, but I resist.

“Now, I’m scared of something more than commitment,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around me.

She slides closer, pressing her lips to the curve of my neck where a mate mark would go.

I'm not losing you, Miles. I… I love you,” her voice falters, swallowing a gulp before she softly repeats, “I love you.”

I grab her by the upper arms and set her away from me, her words only deepening my confusion. How do you stay away for a year if you love someone? But she looks so sincere. “When did you come to this epiphany, Marissa?” I snap.

“Miles.” She pushes out her bottom lip in a pout, knowing exactly how sexy it looks to me. But this time, she keeps her distance.

“Marissa, I can’t do this back and forth anymore. I’m done. I’ve been done. I have a mate now. ”

"Don't you think you owe it to me to have a private discussion? I need closure."

"I don't owe you anything, Marissa. You walked a year ago."

"We had a ten-year relationship. Can I please get some closure?" she begs, her lush lips mere inches from mine.

Marissa has always been an expert manipulator. She knows exactly how to tempt me. The combination of her soft voice, pleading eyes, and that pout is deliberate. Everything about her is carefully orchestrated to disarm me.

I give in, and like a predator, she pounces the moment she senses it. I surrender to her completely, body and soul.

She yanks me into the room, and I go willingly; there’s no resistance left in me.

I already know there won’t be any talking.

We’ve played this out too many times. She shoves me back onto the bed, and I let her, my body already responding to her touch.

Crawling on top of me, our lips crash together, pulling me back into her world where I’ve longed to be.

Biting and nipping, a popular country musician starts crooning in the background.

I'm not sure if it’s in my head or bleeding through the thin motel room walls, but the sharp twang of the steel guitar riffs edges my desperation.

I feel like he does. I want her, need her, and always have.

But now more than ever. The music echoes the urgency pulsing through me.

No romance, just the raw craving to feel her again.

As we kiss hungrily, a single tear slips from my eye, disappearing into the pillow.

My chest tightens for a moment, and a sickening feeling churns in my gut.

That tear isn’t for Marissa; it’s for Paisley, the love I should’ve protected and fought for.

But in the next breath, it’s gone, and so are all thoughts of her, erased from my mind and conscience by the mere taste of Marissa.

We’re back where we belong. I flip her over and sink into her, needing her so badly it hurts.

Paisley

Bachelorette Party

Hot pulses of fire throb through my abdomen as I vomit again. Hands thread into my hair as Syn gathers it, securing it with a tie.

"Are you pregnant, babydoll?" she coos, running her hand up and down my back.

I spit and lean back against the wall, sliding down.

The pain is excruciating. Tears stream unabated down my face as heat engulfs me, and a fine sheen of sweat clings to my skin.

"I don't think so," I pant, leaning forward and pressing my head to the cold tile floor.

"I think I’m dying." The agony intensifies, like flames consuming me.

I ride the waves of pain for about thirty minutes, alternating between writhing on the floor and dry heaving in the toilet.

A cold, wet towel is pressed to my face, giving me a modicum of relief.

Someone offers me a couple of pain capsules, but they’re useless; I can't swallow them. I’ve never felt anything like this in my life.

Syn calls out to the living room. "Hey, Rach. Can you come here?" Rachel is the medical assistant and our closest thing to a doctor.

She appears at the bathroom door. "Paisley, are you okay?"

"No!" I croak.

"Are you pregnant?" she asks.

"I don't think so," I manage to gasp, thrashing on the floor in pain. My limbs tremble uncontrollably.

"I'm going to go to the med bay and get a pregnancy test, along with some pain meds. If you’re pregnant, it could be a tubal pregnancy, and we may need to fly you out. "

"She tried to take a couple of pain capsules, but she couldn't swallow them. I doubt she could have kept them down,"Syn volunteers.

"I'll get an injectable pain med. That should help,” Rachel assures her. "And something for nausea."