Page 25

Chapter 24

Shadow Lord

Silvana

I looked over at my closest friend and smirked. “You were in there for a while, anything of interest with Shadow Lord? Our Fates-deemed king? The oh-so mighty and powerful?”

Cedar stared at me for a moment, trying not to crack a smile. “Are you finished now, Silv?” he asked.

I couldn’t help it, a laugh burst out of me. I was a little nervous about how long he was in Raiden’s office. He tried to hide where he was going, but I knew him. I trusted Cedar with all of my secrets. I knew he wasn’t in there telling the oh-so-charming Lord of the Shadows all about me and my past. But still, having two males whom I cared—nope. Not even saying that much. My nerves meant nothing.

“Yes, Cedar. I’m finished. For now, anyway. I am always coming up with new ways to pester him with ridiculous names of worship.”

Cedar chuckled. “Names of worship, you say? Sounds kinky.”

I playfully smacked him in the chest, thinking back to some of the comments Bastian and Micah had made. “No. Don’t you start too.”

He stopped when we were almost at the front door, and stood in front of me, his hands placed on both my shoulders.

I stared up at him, confusion clear on my face. “Yes?”

“I haven’t forgotten our conversation all those years ago, Silvana,” he said quietly.

I swallowed roughly and looked away. My mood instantly depleted. Words weren’t needed for a reply, he knew I had nothing to say on the matter. The topic of my self-worth has come up a few times over the years, and it almost always ends with me throwing sharp objects his way. Go figure that’s my instant go-to response.

“If there was ever a male who could help you pick up the broken pieces and reform them into something spectacular? It would be the one in the room I just left. He isn’t afraid of hard work or your absolutely feral attitude. I’m not saying go all in, I’m just saying… I’m just saying, hear him out with an open mind.” He squeezed my shoulder and smiled a bit.

I nodded my head in confirmation that I did indeed hear him and his all-wise and mighty pep talk before I shrugged off his hand.

I started walking again and showed Cedar the way out of the manor, secretly a castle, and he hugged me. Before he shifted to leave, he leaned in and whispered, “Don’t give up on yourself.” And I remind him to be safe and return soon.

With that, he shifted, and he was off. Into the endless, expansive night sky, and all I could think about while my best friend flew away, was the fact that I knew in my heart, Raiden was avoiding me. Which shouldn’t have made me as angry as it was, but here we were. Writhing with anger at the male in question.

Walking back into the manor, I decided that I’d had enough of his male ego nonsense, so I headed to where he pointed out his office was located a few nights ago on his tour of the grounds. I knew in my soul that was where he was currently hiding.

Probably due to the supposed mate bond. I huffed at the thought. Just what I needed, to be able to track down the pretentious male whenever my subconscious desired.

After Cedar’s little pep talk, I did feel slightly better about the situation, and a great deal of things started making more sense to me once I started to sort of accept it—I hadn’t fully accepted it yet, but partially… Just that the idea wasn’t completely absurd given everything so far.

The apparent ability to always sense him before I could see him. The innate draw to him when he was nearby. Little things that I’d brushed off, but with this new knowledge, they started to make more sense.

I turned the corner toward Raiden’s office, still deep in thought about what I was going to say—or yell at this male, when I hit what felt like a brick wall. I then proceeded to fall backward on my ass. Looking up, I quickly realized it wasn’t just any brick wall, it was the one that was trying to claim me as his own.

“Of course it’s you,” I grumbled.

He smirked and offered me a hand. Reluctantly I took it, using him as leverage to pull myself up.

“You should probably watch where you’re going,” he advised.

I stared at him for a moment, debating on if I was going to bite my tongue or not. I decided not to.

“You should probably not avoid people just because you don’t like the outcome of your little show and tell.” I crossed my arms across my chest.

His fists clenched a few times and his jaw ticked. Fuck. He looked even better when he was angry. More dangerous—alluring, even.

“Is that how you really feel? My little show and tell? Would you enjoy another go, so you may… reevaluate that thought, darling? Or are you so overwhelmed with pent-up frustration that the only insults you can come up with are false ones about my manhood?” he retorted.

He took a step closer to me before I could try to come up with another insult, preferably one that wasn’t about his manhood, but then he was all I could smell. My heart was pounding. He smelled like leather and cinnamon, and it took all of my self-control not to audibly groan. Why did he smell like that? And how was I just now noticing? What could possibly make this male smell even more mouthwatering? He reminded me of the shop I used to buy my knives from mixed with spiced blood. I released a deep breath, feeling intoxicated—as if the scent of him alone was latching onto the very blood in my veins. He was dangerous in the worst of ways.

I looked into his eyes, and he smirked. He took a step closer as I took one back, and suddenly I was against the wall. His front pressed against me, his hands on either side of my head while mine were pressed against his broad chest. Telling myself I was doing it to keep the distance, but we both knew that was a damn lie. I tried to remind my fingers to remain flat and not to pull him closer. He leaned down, running his nose from my collarbone and up my neck, stopping below my ear.

“Should we take this somewhere more private, Silvana?” he growled.

The way my name slid off his tongue had wicked thoughts filtering through my mind as my core clenched. I felt him smile against my skin as he ran his fangs across the sensitive part of my neck. I gasped at the feeling and realized I was pulling him closer. His thigh was pushed against the apex of my thighs, and it took all of me to remain still.

It was suddenly too much and I let his shirt go. “Somewhere private probably isn’t a good idea right now. We should… I should go get some air,” I mumbled.

He stepped back, the evidence below his hips clear that this was far from one-sided. I shook my head, in a poor attempt to clear it, and bolted out the front door without looking back.

Space was clearly what I needed.

But if that was true, why did walking away from him feel like I was leaving my very life behind in that manor?

* * *

I thought about going out hunting, I hadn’t been out to kill anyone since I mov—started staying at the manor. Stopping that line of thought in its tracks immediately.

I’d ventured down to the docks by The Black Sea. Sitting on the edge, watching the dark murky water come splashing up the sides of the old worn-down wooden boards. The sound of the water constantly moving helped me think. Normally it brought me a sense of peace, but tonight it just seemed to be telling me my peace was elsewhere. Like back in the old Gothic manor, dressed in all black with shadows surrounding him in a way that should be terrifying but instead made my heart race and my body hot.

Letting out a groan, I stared up at the sky, leaning back on my hands. If I wasn’t a vampire and it was daylight, I imagined I’d be getting a phenomenal tan right now. Listening to all the fisherman hustle and bustle around, selling their catches, catching up on life with their longtime friends. I smiled.

Sometimes I envied humans. Their lives were so short compared to vampires that it made everything so much more important, more precious. I imagined on some level, it made things more enjoyable because you knew in your heart it wouldn’t last forever.

I closed my eyes, contemplating running again.

“You know I’ll just chase you down again, darling, so why bother?” said the deep growl-filled voice from behind me.

I chuckled. “I don’t know, My Lord. Maybe I just assumed you loved to watch the view of me running away.”

He sat down on the dock next to me, his thigh almost touching mine, looking so out of place it was almost laughable. He was dressed in his normal tight black pants, a black button-up shirt that billowed in the wind, and his black boots. Nothing about this male screamed dock worker.

Letting my gaze travel over him, I could see those swirling marks of his tattoos peeking out from where his shirt cut down, and I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to look away from his chest. Especially now that I knew exactly what it looked like beneath there. Although I wasn’t too ashamed to admit that I wished I had more time to look them over and ask him about how he’d gotten them.

Glancing up at his face, I realized he was staring out at the water, his eyes distant and almost… sad. Before I could think better about it, I reached over and took his hand in mine. Gently squeezing it. He didn’t pull away.

“I used to work here.” He nodded toward the water, and I stared at him for a moment.

“Don’t stop there, my death-defying shadow lord. What do you mean?” I asked incredulously.

He smirked and glanced over at me, his eyes softening when they met mine as he gently squeezed my hand back.

“Many years ago, when I was still human, of course, I lived here with my family. My father, mother, and my little sister.” He took a deep breath. “My father was a fisherman. I helped him when I was finally old enough. We’d get up before the sun, take out our little boat, and we’d stay out there for hours catching as many fish as we could. I hated it but at the same time… I was so proud that I was able to help him. That I was able to care for our family with him.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“My sister, Ophelia, she was my entire world back then. She’d get so excited when Father and I would come back home that she’d jump into my arms screeching. It didn’t matter that I was covered in the filth of the sea, she was just happy we made it home alive and safely.” He didn’t say anything else for a while, and I didn’t ask any of the burning questions I had. What happened to them, how did you end up here without them, please tell me it isn’t a sad story?

No, I didn’t ask, because some part of me, the part deeply connected to him, knew it was a sad story that he didn’t need to recount to me. Not in a place like this that should stay filled with memories of his father and taking care of his family.

Instead, I decided to do something I never did with anyone. I shared.

“I had a sister too. I don’t remember a lot about her, obviously. But her name was Cora. My complete opposite in every way. Long hair as dark as midnight. Dark blue eyes, as deep and endless as The Black Sea. Where I’ve always been loud and impulsive, she was the quiet sister. People always thought she was meek and shy, but truly, she was always planning. Cunning. But never in a malicious way. She was just always a step ahead of everyone else, ya know?” I looked over at him and found him staring at me. His onyx gaze said so much that his words weren’t.

“Where is she now? Do you know?” he asked cautiously.

I shrugged and looked back out at the sea. “I’m not sure, to be honest. She’s probably the one I remember the most. Obviously. I don’t remember seeing her… leading up to… everything. I think she was there. Around, maybe. But I can’t be sure. I thought about looking for her, a million times, I thought about trying to find her. But every time I’d start… my body just stopped. I couldn’t bring myself back to those memories. It was as if they’d been erased. Anything that could’ve truly helped me. I can see it, but it’s almost…” My voice dropped and I paused. “…blurred over. Everything except Cora’s face and his voice,” I whispered.

Raiden squeezed my hand, forcing me to look back toward him. The tenderness in his eyes made my heart squeeze. I let go of his hand and then leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, gently rubbing my opposite arm. We were silent for a while as the clouds moved in the sky and the stars glittered above our heads.

Just two people lost in grief, and I realized quickly I’d never felt less alone in my entire existence.

“Come on, my little ice queen. The sun is coming up soon, and I want to show you something.” He stood and extended a hand out for me to take. As I did, he pulled me to my feet, but he didn’t let go of my hand.

We walked for a few blocks, hand in hand, although it wasn’t far from the dock when he finally stopped in the middle of the cobblestoned street and faced a small home.

The stone was slate-gray, only two levels high, with a stone walk-up and three windows in total. It was one, like most in this part of Darkmoor, that was pressed up against its neighbors. Raiden didn’t speak for a few moments, he just stared up at the building.

“This is where I lived… when I was human,” he said in a low voice.

I didn’t respond, and once again, my heart squeezed at the fact that he wanted to share anything like this with me. Something told me that Raiden was similar to me in the fact that he didn’t share easily. That he’d rather bury the pain.

“My mother had a garden box out front under that first window, and another around the back window. That’s where the kitchen was. It didn’t grow much, of course, since it’s Darkmoor and the sun is allergic to this town.” He chuckled at his own joke, which made me smile. “We didn’t have vampires here then, ya know? We were just a small fishing town on the edge of The Black Sea. But Father always said the vampires would end up here, he knew. Said that the lack of sun would eventually be the death of us all, and he was right. It was.” He cleared his throat and tugged on my hand. “Let’s go home.”

I followed along with him, my hand still in his.

And for once in my life, I didn’t complain about the physical contact or correct him when he said home. Because it didn’t feel like a lie.