Page 23

Chapter 22

The Black Sea

Silvana

I walked until I found myself standing at the docks, looking out onto The Black Sea.

How easy it would have been to just get on a ship and leave.

We’re mates.

How one sentence could unsettle your entire viewpoint on your life was astounding. Finding your soul-bonded mate was almost unheard of in vampire culture. It was a bedtime story you heard as a child—only instead of the vampires it was about elves, which didn’t exist. It was a story, though. Only those the Fates found worthy were gifted a mate, and I wasn’t worthy of such a thing.

I remembered when Cedar first talked to me about the legend of vampires finding their soul bond, and I’d laughed at him.

Lounging under a tall midnight oak tree with Cedar, we were staring at the moon. It was barely there this evening, just a thin strip of silver in the sky.

Cedar and I had just arrived at the Court of Wolves, offering to help one of the covens with a vampire issue, as was the usual. We’d been doing this together for almost ten years , and I’d learned so much from him. He was truly the best thing I’d ever found in this life — of that I was sure.

I glanced over at my friend, and he looked deep in thought. “What’s on your mind that looks so serious over there?”

Cedar looked over at me and shrugged. “I was just thinking about what my mate is like. If she’s out there somewhere, what is she doing? Is she a vampire too? Is she even alive yet? Fates, I hope she’s alive already.” The last part was a grumbled comment, probably only meant for his ears.

I laughed. “Your mate? What do you mean? Like the soul bond? That isn’t even real, Cedar. Stop wasting your time on fantasies.” I shook my head, but when I looked over at my friend, I realized he wasn’t laughing with me. He was serious. “Cedar… are you being genuine right now?”

He stared at me for a moment and then looked back toward the night sky. “I know you have a hard time trusting the Fates, Silvana, and after everything you’ve remembered over the last few years , I get it. I do. But why is it so hard to believe that there is one person out there in this existence who is created to be your perfect match? The other side of your soul?” His voice was quiet. Not condescending, just thoughtful.

I leaned back against the tree and looked back up at the night sky. The stars were bright, and what Cedar said was rolling around in my head.

I took a deep breath and whispered. “It isn’t that I don’t believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I don’t believe there is someone out there for me , Cedar. Someone who will look at this broken mess of a person and just… want to be a part of that. Does that make sense? I don’t think anyone would want to be permanently bonded to someone who can’t even remember when she was born or who her family is.”

Soul bonds, or mates, as some vampires referred to it, were so rare. I hadn’t met any vampires who’d actually had a real soul bond. Sure, there were vampires I’d met who were committed to each other, but none who had that eternal bond that connected them for eternity at a soul level.

When you found your mate, normally you didn’t know until you both exchanged blood and consummated the union. Plus, from my understanding, it all had to be done together. Blood exchange, sex, bond. Plus, everyone’s bonds were different. Some vampires said they could communicate mind-to-mind, others could feel their partner — no matter where they were—and others could feel their partner’s emotions more clearly than their own. Some couples even reported they’d gained more powers than what they had before.

The only thing that remained the same among all of them was the matching marking somewhere on their bodies. Almost like a tattoo, but not. It just appeared after the bond was complete.

Some of the accounts reported feeling a pull toward each other. Something you couldn’t escape or deny. Personally, that sounded terrifying. Especially because I knew my luck. A male would be drawn to me, only to find out how broken I truly am, and they’d want to leave.

Where would that leave me? Broken and alone. Again.

I shook off the negativity. At the end of the day, I had Cedar, who was like a big brother. I had a job that allowed me to learn to protect myself and help other females. I was free. I didn’t want to lose that. No matter what.

I jumped as I felt Cedar reach over and hold my hand. He gently squeezed it.

“You’re not broken, Silv. You’re a little battered and bruised, sure. But never broken. Any male strong enough to deal with your crazy temper, though? They could handle your bruises too,” Cedar said with a smile.

I laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder.

“I don’t need anyone else, Cedar, I have you and my daggers. What else could a female long for?” I replied.

Cedar shook his head, still laughing. We fell into a companionable silence, watching the moon together.

Cedar was wrong, though, not that I’d tell him. I’d been broken. Long before I woke up alone in the snowy forest, part of me knew that I’d always be broken.

I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

* * *

I woke up the next evening with a note on the floor in front of my door. I’d decided before sunrise to sneak back into the manor. Not because I had things here, but because there was still a job to do—whether Raiden and I were speaking or not, I had to help those females.

I was supposed to take Raiden with me and meet Cedar a little while after sunset, so I knew I needed to grab blood and be a big girl.

So what? We were apparently mates, according to Allie. The girl was still just that. A girl. Her powers weren’t exact or all-knowing. I wasn’t even sure exactly what she’d told Raiden.

Was there a draw between us? Of course. The male was tall and absolutely built of desire and sin. I’d literally dreamed of how his hair would look loose when he was above me, using my body for his own pleasure. But I’m sure most females who looked at him thought the same exact thing.

The thought of that made my magic thrash beneath my skin. Throwing the blanket off myself and rising from the bed, I realized quickly that the blanket I’d been using was now solid ice. Lovely .

Rolling my eyes at myself, I ignored it. That wasn’t a problem for me right now. My magic being slightly… off was to be expected, of course. This was absurd news, and I had females to save and a male to set straight. We weren’t mates, because that would be absolutely insane.

Your soul bond was supposed to be someone you were equal with, someone who would complement your power and life and… everything. That wasn’t me and the ruler of the Fates-damned Court of Shadows.

I couldn’t even remember what my mother’s name was, let alone where I was born, or how I ended up a vampire. The ruler of one of the most powerful courts in Kostbare wasn’t my mate. That was what we were running with and how I’d get through this.

I just had to help them find the females, dismantle the Eternal Outcasts, and then I was out of here. Simple as that. My life could return to normal.

Walking over to my door, I finally picked up the note that was slipped under at some point during the day.

* * *

S ilvana, ?

I understand you’re upset, but I’d still like to talk about this if possible. Please. ?

-Raiden

* * *

S haking my head, I crumpled up the note and tossed it into my fireplace. There was nothing to discuss.

I walked into the bathroom, washed my face, ran my fingers through my long hair, and quickly braided it. I stepped into a clean pair of black leggings, immediately pushing the thoughts of Raiden pulling off another pair just like these off my legs last night out of my mind. No room for that today. Not one bit. Throwing on an oversized, crimson-red, long-sleeved top and a little bit of red lipstick, I glanced in the mirror and rolled my eyes at myself. It felt like I was trying too hard.

Nope, not going there. This was for me. I needed to feel good, that was it.

Stepping into my boots, I grabbed my shadow stone dagger off the table, only to remember that I’d left the second one in the woods with Raiden. Of course. Grabbing one of my silver ones, I stuck it in my other boot holster and headed out the door.

Step one—find food.

Step two—go meet Cedar.

I walked down the stairs and figured the best place to start looking for food was the kitchen. Walking in, I found Micah leaning against the counter, a glass of blood in front of him and a piece of parchment beside it.

His blond hair looked disheveled—as if he didn’t sleep well and ran his hands through it one too many times.

“Good evening, Micah!” I said cheerfully. I was just going to fake it till I felt okay again. Easy. “Any idea where I can get some blood before I head out to meet with Cedar?”

Micah looked up from his paper for a moment and stared at me, confusion clear on his face. It was apparent that he wasn’t expecting to see me there. That was fine. But I was not going to hide in my room and lick my wounds. That wasn’t who I was. Plus, I didn’t even have wounds. I was fine.

Did Raiden lie to me? Sort of. He certainly waited until the last moment possible to reveal the truth to me. While I was happy he did, it didn’t mean I wasn’t upset over being left in the dark for who knows how long.

It suddenly dawned on me that if Allie knew, Micah also knew. They’d been spending a great deal of time together, so chances were that Micah was there when she told Raiden.

Suddenly I was not feeling nearly as confident, but thankfully he answered my question before I could leave the room in utter embarrassment.

“Of course. Glasses are in the cabinet, and the blood is in the box on the far side of the kitchen. We have someone that comes in once a week and does some sort of magic on that cabinet to keep the blood cold.” He shrugged like that was normal and everyone had things like that.

I muttered a quick thanks and grabbed a glass, filling it with blood that I downed as promptly as I could.

As I walked toward the exit, Micah cleared his throat. I reluctantly stopped in the doorway but didn’t turn to face him.

“He didn’t mean to hurt you, Silvana. You have to know… you need to know that you’ve brought him back to life since he’s found you. That isn’t fake,” Micah said softly.

I glanced at him over my shoulder and contemplated not saying anything in return, but before I could stop myself, I replied. “I’m doing him a favor, Micah. As his best friend, you should thank me.”

I left as quickly as I could. Refusing to look back.?

* * *

?T he plan was to meet Cedar at our safe house. It was a small building built with dark wood beside the docks of The Black Sea. It had two floors, three windows on the front, and rickety stairs that we joked about a storm ripping away one day while we were gone.

Walking up to it warmed my heart, but at the same time, all I could picture was Micah’s eyes when I told him he should thank me. I knew what they were all thinking—that I was crazy. What female wouldn’t want to be tied to someone powerful and kind like Raiden? An insane female. Clearly.

I knocked three times on the front door and used my key to walk inside. I could smell his fresh scent as soon as I walked into the house.

“Ohh, Cedar, sweetheart, are you home?” I asked. My voice was light and a smile was on my face.

He strolled out of the small kitchen area at the back of the house, a smile on his face as he opened his arms and wrapped them tightly around me.

“Hello, Silv, did you miss me oh-so much? Please quickly tell me all about what was so important you couldn’t even hint at it in your note? I quote, ‘C, come back safely. You’re needed. S’ What sort of note is that, Silvana? For the love of the Fates,” he muttered at the end.

A small smile curved my lips. I was just so happy to have him back and in my space. I needed my family right now, and part of me didn’t realize it until I laid eyes on him.

“Also, who is the male I’m smelling all over you right now?” Cedar asked, a brow arched in question. “And you’re blushing?! Oh, this ought to be good. Go ahead. I want to hear all about him.”

I let out a breath. “Forever the nosiest big brother I never asked for.”

“Forever the little sister who is trying to dodge the question. Seriously. What is going on, Silv?” Cedar asked. His tone told me he was over the game of me trying to change the subject.

“I did what you asked. I looked into the Eternal Outcasts… and now I need your help, Cedar.” I dove into the details. I told him about Rogan and Joel. I told him about saving Allie, and what she said about the man with dark magic. I told him about meeting Raiden, him asking for my help, and staying at the manor. I briefly went over the moment before the insanity of us being mates.

Cedar stared at me in clear shock. “So… your soul-bonded mate is… the ruler of the Court of Shadows? And you, what? Got up and ran away? Have you lost your ever-loving mind?”

I groaned, exasperated. “Clearly, Cedar, yes. I’ve lost my mind. Never mind that I’m basically a vigilante—killing whomever I see fit around three of the four courts. Or that I have no idea where I’m from or who could come looking for me. Or that maybe he’s wrong, and what then?”

“What then? From what you told me, which, by the way, wasn’t relevant to this news, is how absolutely sinful this man appears. So, what? Worst case you get to ride that and then leave? Oh no, poor Silvana.” It was clear he had no pity for me, but of course he wouldn’t. He knew who he was and trusted himself in a way that I would never be able to.

“Can we move on to the parts that matter? Will you help us or not?” I asked, impatience overflowing in my tone.

“What? Of course I’ll help. What sort of question is that? Take me back to the manor. Let’s go meet the boss and I can chat with Bastian about what exactly they need from me. I can’t wait to freeze my feathers off, Silvana.” Cedar muttered the last bit sarcastically and I smiled despite the mood I felt myself falling into. “But really, Silvana, I want to meet the male trying to whisk away the only family I have. So, let’s get a move on.”

I let out a small laugh. “No one is whisking me away. Especially not Raiden.”

“First-name basis? How adorable. I can’t wait to see what daggers you strap to your body for the mating ceremony and celebration,” he huffed.

I shook my head at his ridiculousness, as we left the safe house and walked back to the manor. It appeared as if it was time to go see the male in question.