Page 14

SARIEL

I stop as a long breath leaves my lungs.

It’s always cluttered in my place, no matter how often I seem to organize things.

Books dominate almost every surface, chairs, the sofa, the table, and kitchen counters.

Partially used notebooks are scattered around as well, along with files and pencils because I prefer paper to technology—a horror show for Rami.

I’ve never cared much about this apartment; I spend almost all my time in the labs or at the base.

I acquired it years back because the building is close to work and in a safe area.

I heard Uri saying it is good to invest our money, so I did—he wasn’t very pleased about my impulsive purchase , though.

I’ve made a few decisions in my life by myself, always asking for advice first, but I didn’t want to give this up.

That was the first time I stood up to him.

He sulked for a month, but still came and fell asleep on the sofa in my lab whenever I pulled an all-nighter.

I look around the scarcely furnished living room.

The reason why this luxurious apartment never felt like mine is because I never made it mine.

Still, being forced to move out leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I run my hand along the small set of lopsided shelves I hung up after buying the place.

There’s two framed pictures. One of the whole family around the dinner table—Ollie, Sully, Lori, Hunter, and the triplets included.

And one of me and Uri as kids; my eyes fixed on his serious face.

I’m beaming at him, while he’s looking straight into the camera, a glare in his gaze.

The thought of being his brother never sat well with me since I was a kid. Growing up, it often gave me a lancing pain somewhere below my sternum. How could he be, when I wanted to kiss the hell out of him?

My phone starts vibrating. Texts are popping in the Bloody Bunch group chat — Rami continues renaming our family chat every few months.

Lori

Rats? In your luxurious apartment?

News travels fast among my brothers. There’s a rat infestation in my building, which is more than odd since this is a high-end apartment building, located in River North, one of the most expensive neighborhoods of Chicago.

Me

It appears so

Sully

Are we talking real rats?

Michael

What other kind are there?

Ollie

Five-foot-nine assholes

Rami

That was oddly precise

Lori

Do they have thick, long, hard tails as well?

Rami

Oh yeah, do they? *fire emoji* *eggplant emoji* *wink face emoji*

Ollie

You’re a ginormous perv

Rami

Me or Lori?

Sully

Both

Lori

Sully-doo, you lovely little shit! I didn’t add you to the chat to be a self-righteous ass

Sully

Love you, too

I’m glad to see Sully’s sassy responses. He looks like he’s getting better these days.

Gabe

Sari, I have your case against the building maintenance ready

Uri

Good. Proceed. This is unacceptable

Uri wants me to sell the place and sue the company who takes care of the building. But I don’t want to start a legal war without knowing all the facts. Also I don’t have time to look for another place to live right now.

Me

Thanks, Gabe, but I’m not sure I want to pursue legal action

Rague

I can use physical action

Ollie

That body of yours is mine for the next twelve hours. I’m ten minutes from home

Rami

No couple messages in the Bloody Bunch group chat!

Lori

Gabe is just looking out for you, Angel

He’s a fantastic lawyer, meticulous and ruthless, and since Lori went to work for him, he became even more renowned. I just need some time to think.

Me

I know. I’m grateful. But, please, let’s just wait for now

Raph

When are you moving to Uri’s?

Raph seems cold and distant, but he always has my back.

Uri

Today

He’s here with me now. I hear him moving inside my bathroom, packing the essentials. I’ll be staying with him until this rat infestation problem is resolved.

Raph

Moving fast

Michael

Pity. We prepared a room for you

Sully

You can share mine if you like

Hunter

Ash’s room is available since he moved out

Uri

Sari is coming with me

Lori

Yes, sir! Did you off all the rats with bazooka Jane?

Hunter

Bazooka Jane?

Lori

Super Model’s huge dick of a rifle. How can you not get it?

Uri

That’s Old Betsy

Lori

If you have to name your weapons, give them imposing names like Ginevra or Victoria.

Ollie

Like Poppy?

Rami

How about Bang-Bang?

Michael

Buffy!

Lori

I can’t with you lot. I’m off to class

Raph

So touchy

Sully

Is Albert E. okay?

Rague

Who’s Albert?

Michael

Sari’s hairless rabbit

Rami

I don’t like rabbits, they are secretive fluffy fuckers. Always looking like they are about to spill the beans…but they never do

Raph

Hunter, get your boyfriend’s brain checked

Hunter

It’s too late to have him tested

Me

A rabbit’s scrotum is in front of its penis

Gabe

What the actual fuck

That must be Bez, the answer sounds too emotional to be Gabe.

Lori

So they rub their ass while doing the dirty. Double pleasure. Trojan the rabbit is d-i-r-t-y

Gabe

The rabbit's name is Albert E.

Lori

Well, it looks like a Trojan condom to me, something you flush down the toilet when you’re done

Sully

Are condoms supposed to be flushed in the toilet?

Michael

Lori, aren’t you in class?

Lori

This group chat finally turned interesting

Lori

Plus Teach doesn’t mind; she loves me

Ollie

Does she think you’re evolution’s missing link?

Lori

*finger flipping emoji* Go make your hubby happy already

Gabe

Name of this teacher who loves you, Little Wasp!

Lori

Leave her alone, Bez. I’m all yours and Gabe’s

Rami

Again, NO COUPLE messages in this chat!!

Me

BTW, Albert E. is a hairless guinea pig not a rabbit

Lori

Now I want to flush it even more

Uri makes his way into the living room reminding me I have things to get back to.

He’s wearing leather boots, gray jeans, and a cashmere pullover with a V-neck that shows the collar of a white cotton t-shirt underneath.

His light brown dreads are up in a pony tail, complementing the barely there brush of stubble over his strong jaw, and making his eyes his most prominent feature.

That liquid hazel gaze, large nose, big lips, sharply angled jaw, smooth skin.

All those piercings give him a rebellious air.

I once had a peek at the end of some ink on his belly.

I didn’t know he had tattoos on his body—yet another thing I was unaware of.

His long fingers are wrapped around the boxes he’s holding—how many times have I imagined them curled bruisingly tight around my arms, hips, thighs?

Holding me close. Pinning me down. How would he react to me?

What kind of voice would he use? What kind of expression would he have?

How would it feel? I shouldn’t think about it.

But my mind is an endless ocean of churning thoughts.

I can’t stop them, only temporarily push them away.

I slide a couple of books inside the duffle bag on the floor before instinctively grabbing the picture of Uri and me and slip it inside.

His eyes follow my movement and then lift to mine with that intense look of his—the same one I see in my countless past memories.

The small mole on the rise of his cheek moves as a wolfish grin appears on his face.

I send him a hesitant half smile before I turn toward the kitchen.

He always makes me feel so aware of myself when I rarely do.

“Why all those boxes? I’m not going to stay long at your place,” I ask him, grabbing the only food present inside the cupboard: tea.

“We’ll see,” he replies cryptically, piling more boxes against the wall near the entrance. Albert E. is inside his cage, a thick, red cloth covers it.

Why do I suddenly feel like a little fly getting caught in a spider’s web? I shake off the unsettling sensation and put the tea into the bag.

“Have everything?”

I look around to double-check.

“Don’t worry, the rest will come in a couple of days with the moving truck.”

“Moving truck?” What is he talking about? “Uri, I’m going to crash at your place for a few days, a week tops.”

“Rats and their droppings can carry several diseases, plus when they enter the apartment, they’ll gnaw their way through everything, damaging all your possessions.”

The disease part is the main reason for my moving, and now also the image of gnawed books. Uri knows how much I value them. Don’t want them turned into chew toys. “But will all this fit inside your place?” I haven’t been to his lake house yet, don’t know how big it is.

“Don’t you trust me anymore, Baby Blue?”

That’s the million-dollar question. Do I? I close my eyes for a moment, letting the endearment echo inside my head. Reality, though, comes inexorably back.

“How was meeting your biological brother—Ezra—for the first time?” I ask him. Rami told me about it. Rami did, not Uri. A sense of bitterness starts forming inside my gut. My chest tightens, and I try to grasp that one emotion tangled up in the complex web of feelings I constantly feel for him.

He grabs the bags from my hands. Albert E.’s cage, and a couple more things from the floor as he leads me toward the front door, replying to my question only when we enter the elevator.

“Uneventful. But it’s too early to say anything.”

The twisted sensation at the bottom of my stomach worsens at the hint of interest on his face when talking about his biological brother.

His answer is far from satisfying, but I can’t seem to get out another word.

My teeth are grinding. I feel so damn…irked.

Has it always been like this between us?

He doesn’t inform me because he thinks that I can’t be of any help.

Too weak. It almost makes me feel like an outsider.