Page 23

22

TALLIE

I was floating, or at least, it felt like I was floating. My body felt completely weightless. I tried to fight it, but I was lost in a haze that kept pulling me under. Everything around me was a blur. Shadows were moving in and out, and voices were muffled like they were coming from underwater.

But then I heard him.

Holt.

His voice was raw, thick with something that felt like desperation and anger all wrapped into one. “What is this? What the fuck did they do to her?”

Someone said something, but I couldn’t make out of the words.

I could feel Holt’s arms around me. He was holding me against his chest, and I could feel his warmth seeping in, easing the cold emptiness that had taken me over. I wanted to reach for him and tell him I was okay. I wasn’t sure that was true.

I couldn’t tell.

Not that it mattered anyway.

Even if I wanted to reach for him, I couldn’t. My limbs wouldn’t cooperate. My tongue was heavy, and my thoughts were too slow to string together the words. I felt like I was swimming in complete darkness when I heard Holt whisper, “Damn it, Tallie. You scared the hell out of me.”

I tried to open my eyes, but I didn’t have the strength. I could feel his heart pounding against my cheek. It was fast, almost frantically so, and I could feel the tension rolling off him. He was shaking with it. I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or relief. Either way, he wasn’t in a good place.

“What the hell were you thinking? We had a plan,” he rasped. “You shouldn’t have gone there alone. You knew it wasn’t safe, but you walked right into it like you had something to prove.”

I did.

I had to.

I wanted to tell him that.

I wanted him to understand that I was trying to do the right thing. I was so damn close to finding what we needed. I truly thought it was the safest way. I didn’t want to pull him or his brothers into this mess. But that’s exactly what I did. I hated that it had turned out this way. I wanted desperately to tell him just how sorry I was, but my throat was too thick with whatever drug they’d given me.

Holt was still laying in to me. It was hard to keep up with everything he said, but I heard him fuss, “You don’t get to do that, Tallie. You don’t get to put yourself on the line like that without me. Not ever again.”

I needed to tell him that I was sorry.

I needed to tell him that I knew I’d been reckless, and I should’ve waited. But the darkness was pulling me under again, and this time, it swallowed me up, and I could barely hear him as he whispered, “I almost lost you…”

I had no idea how long I’d been asleep when I felt myself being carefully lifted. Without opening my eyes, I knew Holt was cradling me in his arms. The warmth of his body was too inviting, and I was too damn exhausted to protest. So, I rested my head on his shoulder and let him carry me to the room.

I couldn’t even remember him putting me in the bed, but I woke up the next morning with my head plastered on his bare chest. I slowly lifted myself up, trying my best not to wake him, and carefully eased myself onto the floor. I went to the bathroom and freshened up a bit. Washed my face and brushed my teeth. That’s when I noticed that I was wearing pajamas that I didn’t even remember changing into.

I went back out to the bedroom and stopped at the foot of the bed. It was still early, and Holt was still sound asleep. My heart ached as I stood there looking at him. The worries from the night before had melted away.

Lying there with his face free from his dark thoughts, he actually looked peaceful, almost vulnerable. “How long are you planning to stand there, staring at me like that?”

“I don’t know. How long you planning to stay mad at me?”

“How do you know I’m mad?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Absolutely.” He opened one eye. “I have a good reason, don’t ya think?”

“You do.” I raked my teeth over my bottom lip. “But I had a good reason for doing what I did.”

“I’m sure you do. Not sure I want to hear it.”

“Come on, Holt. Don’t be like that,” I pleaded. “I was just trying to find what we needed, and I felt like we were so close. I didn’t think it was going to turn out like it did.”

“Were you thinking about anything when you went over there?” Holt sat up on his elbows. “Were you thinking about me or the plan we had laid out? Were you thinking about Ford and how he’d feel if something happened to you?”

“I didn’t think…”

“That’s right. You didn’t think, and you almost got killed because of it!”

“Holt.”

“No, don’t Holt me. You got any idea how bad this thing could’ve been?” He shook his head. “I could’ve lost you. Ford could’ve lost you, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself if that happened.”

“It would’ve been my fault.”

“You’re my woman, Tal. It’s my job to protect you. End of story.”

The guilt of what I’d done and the hurt I’d caused started to get to me, and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me crying, so I turned to face the dresser. That’s when I saw the letters.

I remembered the heart-felt words that marked the pages, and the dam broke. Tears started to stream down my face. I’d messed up, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I turned to face him as I muttered, “I’m sorry. If I could go back and do it differently, I would.”

As soon as our eyes met, I knew he’d seen that I’d been crying, and his expression softened. “There are some things you need to know.”

“Can we not?” It meant a great deal to me that he cared so much, but I didn’t want to talk about what happened or anything else for that matter. “I know it was bad. I know they drugged me, and I have no idea what happened after that. And for a little while longer, I want to keep it that way.”

“Tallie.”

“I mean it. I just want to pretend that none of that happened. I just want it to be you and me. Nothing else. Just for another hour.” I needed to escape in his arms and ignore the anxious feeling that was festering in the pit of my stomach. I needed to touch him, to feel that sense of safety I always felt when I was in his arms and forget about Sergei and his brothers. “Can you do that? Can you pretend with me?”

In just a blink, he was there,towering over me with a look of lust in his eyes that made me want him even more. I placed the palm of my hand against his cheek as he said, “Yeah, baby. I can do that. But we’re gonna have to face this eventually.”

“I know, and we will.”

His hand slipped behind me, pulling me close to his chest, and when I felt the warmth of his body next to mine, my world stopped spinning. When he leaned over and covered my mouth in a hungry kiss, everything else around seemed to fade away.

The caress of his lips was pure magic. I felt safe in his arms as if nothing in the world could come between us. He pulled me even closer and delved deeper into my mouth. I could feel his heart racing, and it was all I could do not to completely unravel in his arms.

He released my mouth just long enough to look down at me and say, “I can’t lose you again, Tallie. I just can’t.”

“You won’t.” My eyes locked on his as I whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he whispered, the warmth of his breath caressing my cheek. I could see the longing in his eyes, the same longing I felt deep inside of me.

He studied me for a moment, searching for some kind of confirmation that I wanted this moment as much as he did, and once he found it, his mouth crashed against mine. We both let go of our doubts and just let ourselves get lost in the moment. The tips of his fingers trailed along my spine, and I arched towards him, seeking the heat of his touch.

He continued to kiss me, and I could feel a fire burning deep inside me, smoldering as it spread through my body. The feeling only grew more intense when he reached for the hem of my pajama top. As he pulled it over my head, I felt the palm of his hand linger at my waist, making me shiver with anticipation.

He didn’t move.

He just stood there, staring at me, and when I noticed the passion that?lay?behind his eyes, my pulse pounded harder, roaring in my ears?as he inched closer. I wanted? him ?so much. Too much.

Unable to wait a moment longer, I lowered my hands to the waistband of my pajama shorts, and with Holt watching my every move, I lowered them to the floor. I?heard him take in a hastened breath as he reached behind me to remove my?lace?bra.??

Once it hit the floor, his eyes dropped to my breasts,?and?he breathed, “So damn perfect.”

“Holt…,” I pleaded, stealing the last of his restraint. I gasped when he lifted me up, cradling me close to his chest as he carried me over to the bed. He held me tightly, making me feel safe and secure in his arms, then lowered me down onto the mattress.

He stood over me, gazing down at me as he removed his clothes, and he took his time about it. He knew I was watching him. It was impossible not to. He was all muscle, and the tattoos just seemed to accentuate every ripple and curve. His body had always been a thing of beauty, but now, he was no longer a boy. He was all man, and he was mine.

A rush of heat washed over me as he lowered himself onto the bed, covering me with?the warmth of?his body. His mouth dropped to the crook of my neck, and he began trailing kisses down my collarbone.

My desire for this man was running rampant through me, and I was losing what little control I had. It just felt so good. So right. He took my bare breasts in his hands, holding them firmly while brushing his calloused thumbs across the sensitive flesh.

I loved the feel of his hands on my body—every touch had me longing for more.He nipped?and sucked at my sensitive skin before lowering his mouth to the curves of my stomach. I groaned with anticipation when I felt him lower my panties down my legs before settling his head between my thighs.My?legs quivered as his tongue gently raked over my center.

His touch was soft and gentle as he circled my clit,?making my entire body tingle with need. While he?continued to torment?me with his mouth, he eased his fingers inside me, twisting and swirling as he found the spot that caught my breath.

I loved how his hands felt against my skin, so strong and solid, and after just a few moments, I could feel my release approaching, causing me to whimper?as my body tensed and?filled with heat.?He’d always been able to make my body come alive in a way no one else could.

When the sensation grew to be more than I could bear, I twisted my hands in the sheet. I muttered his name over and over?as my orgasm exploded, rocking me to my very core.??I was still in a blissful haze when Holt’s eyes met mine, and he asked, “Am I what you want?”

Unable to even string together coherent words, I nodded, praying that he wouldn’t stop. His voice was stern when he said, “Say the words, Tallie. Tell me you want me.”

His words caught me by surprise, but I knew he meant exactly what he’d said. Without reservation, I whispered, “I want you, Holt. I’ve always wanted you and only you.”

“Good, ‘cause you’re stuck with me. You and Ford aren’t going back to that rat-hole apartment. You’re staying here.”

“What?”

“We’ve already lost too much time. I don’t want to lose another second.” His eyes grew intense. “I want you both here, under my roof. I want you at my table for dinner. I want you in the barn making your pottery. I want to teach the kid to help with animals and how to ride a bike. And don’t tell me no to that, because it’s gonna happen. I want you in my bed at night and when I wake in the morning. I want the dream, Tallie. I want our dream.”

“Oh, Holt. I want it, too. I want it all.”

“That’s good because you’re about to get it. I’m giving you everything you’ve ever wanted. I’m gonna love like no other man could. Every minute of every hour, you will know that you are mine and only mine.”

I could feel myself becoming more turned on by the second, and when he stood, and I caught sight of histhrobbing erection, I nearly lost it. I couldn’t resistthe temptation to reach for him. I took him in my handthenslowly started to stroke him.

A sense of satisfaction washed over me as I felt him grow even harder, urging me on as I moved my hand up and down hislong,thick shaft. He shifted his body closer, and his eyes were trained on mine as I leaned forward and gently sucked the tip of his cock into my mouth.

“Fuck,” he growled.?

“Hmm,” I?moaned?and?opened my mouth wider. His hand dove into my hair, gently tugging as he silently begged me for more. When I took him in?my mouth as far as I could, he tilted his head back and incoherently muttered my name.

I loved seeing?him so?completely?lost in the pleasure I was giving him.?A low rumble worked its way through his chest when?I?started to move?faster, licking and sucking his cock,?making him?struggle to maintain his control. I listened to his sharp breaths and watched the?torment?on his face until his eyes suddenly opened and locked on mine.??

“Need to be inside you, Tallie. Now,” he growled.??

He reached for his jeans, and I?lay?back?on the bed, watching as he slid the condom down his thick shaft. A needful moan vibrated through his chest as he gazed down upon my naked body, and then a devilish grin spread across his face while he settled his hips between my legs, making my entire body tremble.

The bristles of his day-old beard prickled against my skin as he lowered his chin to my ear and whispered, “Mine. All mine.”

“That’s right. I’m all yours.”

A part of me wanted to go slow. I wanted to be able to savor the moment, but I was too far gone and just couldn’t restrain myself. I wanted him. I needed him. Spreading my legs further to accommodate him, I shifted my hips up towards him as he rubbed himself against my clit. My entire body ached for him.

His forehead rested against mine as he grazed his cock against me. His erection, hot and hard, burned against my clit before he thrust deep inside, giving me all he had in one smooth stroke. He gave me a second to adjust to the intrusion, then slowly started to move. Needing more, I rocked my hips, begging him to continue. His hands reached up to the nape of my neck, fisting my hair as he drove into me again.

Slow and demanding, he was in complete control. Every smooth slide of his cock into my body was a statement of dominance. His teeth raked over my nipples, and I cried out, pleading for more. I dug my nails into his back as my whole body ignited with such intense heat; it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.

Holt thrust deeper inside me, and as I tightened around him, he let out a growl and then quickened his pace. His control shattered, and unable to restrain himself any longer, he drove into me with hard, steady strokes. I fought to catch my breath as I felt my climax approaching. My entire body jolted and shook as my orgasm crashed through me.

I continued to tighten around his throbbing cock until he found his own release. His body collapsed on top of mine, exhausted and sweaty. I loved how Holt felt pressed against my bare skin, buried deep inside me. He took a moment to catch his breath and then rolled over to settle next to me on the bed.

Neither of us spoke. Instead, we just lay there, listening to the sounds of our breathing slow, and it wasn’t long before Holt whispered, “Ford was worried about you.”

“I figured he was.” I rolled over and placed my head on Holt’s chest. “What did you tell him?”

“Not to worry, that I was going to bring you home.”

“And you did.”

“Yeah, but you’re still gonna need to talk to him and make sure he’s good.”

“I will. I think it’s time we told him about you, too.”

“I agree. Need to tell him about moving, too.”

“So, you meant that, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

“What about my pottery shop?”

“You can keep it.” Holt toyed with my hair as he said, “I’ll have a couple of the girls help you out so you can spend more time at home with Ford.”

“That would be nice, but what girls are you talking about?”

“A couple of the hang-arounds or a few from the Vault. Most of them have more than one job and would be open to having a little quiet time in a pottery shop.”

“The Vault. Hang-arounds?”

“Yeah, we have a lot of catching up to do.”

“We most certainly do, and we will. But first, let’s go check on Ford. Once we know he’s okay, we have some other things to discuss.”

“Other things?”

“Like I said before,” his tone became firm as he said, “There are things we have to talk about.”

“Yeah.” I grimaced. “It’s going to be bad, isn’t it?”

“Some of it, but it’s a means to an end.” He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Get dressed.”

With that, he tossed the covers back and got out of bed. I didn’t want to move. I was happy and content in his bed, and I knew what waited for us outside of this room would change things. But I had Holt, and as long as I had him, I could make it through anything.