11

SEVEN

“ Y ou have a goat.”

“Yeah, her name is Mable.”

“And the dog?”

“Percy.”

“Any cows?”

“Not yet.” Damn. Why did she have to look so damn beautiful? Just being next to her made it difficult to breathe, much less to think. It made me almost forget how angry I was with her. I’d been tied up in knots since she pulled up in the driveway, and I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m not really interested in talking about cows and goats, Tal.”

“I know. I just don’t know where to start.”

“How ‘bout you start with Ford?” I sounded angrier than I’d intended as I snapped, “I’d really like to know why the hell you never told me about him.”

“Okay.” She let out a breath, then started, “First, you should know that he wasn’t planned. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until months after I got to Paris.” There was no missing the turmoil in her eyes as she said, “I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell you right away, but Dad made it difficult.”

“How so?” I pushed.

She leaned back on the swing and sighed. “He monitored my phone calls and emails, and he warned me time and time again that I wasn’t to reach out to you or there would be consequences.”

“For you or me?”

“Both, but I wasn’t worried about me,” she answered without hesitation. “I didn’t care if he cut me off or made me leave art school. I could’ve figured things out, but when it came to you… I didn’t know how far he was willing to go and couldn’t take the chance.”

“And how long did you buy into his bullshit?”

Her silence was answer enough.

My jaw tightened as I let out a slow, measured breath, trying to temper the frustration building inside me. “Answer me, Tal.”

“Ford was almost two.” She lowered her head and toyed with the hem of her shirt. “I was still scared, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to see you and tell you in person about Ford, so I started trying to find you. That’s when they told me you were...”

“I was what?”

“That you were dead, Holt.” Tears pooled in her eyes as she repeated, “They told me you were dead.”

“What the fuck?” I’d gone through a hundred scenarios in my head from she wasn’t sure he was mine to she didn’t think I’d want him. I never dreamed her father would go so far as to say I was dead. “Who the hell told you that?”

“Mom. Dad. Rooks. They all did.”

“Fuck me.”

Surprise wasn’t something I handled well. I was a guy who liked to be in the know. Maybe something I’d picked up in the military, or maybe it was ingrained in me as a kid, but I always wanted to be prepared for anything and everything. I didn’t want to be caught off guard.

Needless to say, hearing that people I once cared about lied and said I was dead wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. Some might say I was in shock, but to me, it was much more than that.

I felt like every molecule of air had been knocked right out of me, making my lungs seize up and burn. I struggled to take in a simple breath like I’d forgotten how to fucking breathe. Tallie didn’t look like she was doing much better.

She looked up at me, her eyes desperately searching mine, and I could see that she was anxiously waiting for my response. I knew she wasn’t lying. Hell, I could tell just by the way she was looking at me with that pained expression that she was telling the truth.

But the whole thing seemed unfathomable, and the longer I sat there trying to make sense of it, the more confused and hurt I became. Rooks was my best friend for the better part of my childhood. We’d always had each other’s backs, and now, he’d put a knife in mine. “They really thought I was a piece of shit, huh? Couldn’t stand the thought of me being in your life.”

“No, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then, what was it?” I snapped. “Why were they all so determined to keep me out of your life?”

“It’s more about me than you. They thought it was the right thing for me, but they were wrong. They were wrong about it all.”

“This whole thing is a clusterfuck.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have trusted them.” Her eyes met mine as she added, “I should’ve come back and made sure you were really gone.”

“Yeah, you should have. I deserved that much.” I tried to reign it in, but it was too much. The secrets and betrayal had my anger simmering deep within. “Hell, you could’ve at least asked Marcus.”

“But I did.” Her brows furrowed. “Marcus was there for me through it all. I don’t think I could’ve survived it all without him.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” I shook my head. “Him, too?”

“What?”

“I never bought into that bi bullshit. I knew he was into you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Marcus knew I was alive, Tallie.” There was a mix of surprise and hurt in her eyes as I told her, “He saw me not long after I got back. Hell, we even talked. It wasn’t for long. Just some idle small talk. I even asked about you, but that wasn’t the only time we crossed paths.”

“But he never said anything.”

“Yeah, clearly.”

“No, you don’t understand. I fell apart after I heard the news. I was crying all the time. I couldn’t get out of bed, and I leaned on him through it all.” With tears streaming down her face, she gasped, “I still don’t understand how he could do that. How could he just let me fall apart like that and never say anything?”

“That’s something you’ll have to ask him, but if you ask me, it was because he was hoping to have you for himself.”

“What?” she gasped. “He wasn’t interested in me that way.”

“He was, and I’m guessing he still is.”

“That’s not possible.”

“It is, and I get it. You’re an amazing woman. He’d be a fool to miss out on a chance to snatch you up. But your brother...,” I swallowed hard. “I don’t get what he was thinking.”

“He said he was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? What a load of bullshit. He had his agenda, and it had nothing to do with protecting me.”

I sat there, staring at her, my mind spinning with everything she’d just told me. Lies. Years and years of them. Her father had used them to tear us apart, only it wasn’t just him. It was everyone she cared about. They all let me believe she was gone forever.

My chest was so tight I could barely breathe, and it only got tighter when she said, “I loved you, Holt. I loved you with all my heart and soul. They can tell their lies, but nothing can change that.”

I ran a hand over my face, trying to make sense of it all. "I loved you, too.”

“So, what now?”

“I can’t answer that. Not right now.” I stood and took a step back. “I’m gonna need time to sort through all this.”

“Okay. I understand.”

Pain flickered across her face, but she nodded, understanding even when it was killing us both. She reached for her bag and stood. She hesitated for a moment, like she wanted to say something else, then just turned and started down the front steps.

“Tallie?”

“Yes?”

“He’s been lied to long enough.” Her eyes widened as I added, “He deserves to know the truth.”

“I agree. We can find a way to tell him together.”

She gave me a half-smile, then continued out to her car.

The knot in my stomach churned as I watched her climb inside and close the door. She wiped the tears from her eyes, then started the engine and backed out of the driveway. She didn’t look back. Not even for a second, and it made me wonder if I’d made a mistake in letting her go.

She was gone, and the house suddenly felt suffocating.

I couldn’t stay here.

I grabbed my keys and headed for my bike. I wasn’t thinking about where I was going or what I’d do when I got there. I just knew I couldn’t stay in that house a second longer. The turmoil raging inside me wasn’t something I was accustomed to. I was the Sergeant at Arms. It was my job to maintain order and control. To do that and do it well, I had to keep myself in check.

I didn’t get the luxury of losing my cool or acting without thinking.

Every move I made had to be deliberate and controlled.

But at that moment, nothing I was doing felt deliberate or controlled.

It was anything but.

I tried to steady myself, but the noise in my head was too loud. Hell, the roar of the engine barely cut through it. Riding was usually the one thing I could count on to clear my mind, but tonight, it did little to ease anything—not my mind or my anger.

I drove and drove, and before I knew it, I was pulling up to the hotel where Tallie and her mother were staying. I parked, and I’d just gotten off my bike when Duggar came walking up. “Hey, brother. Everything okay?”

“I need a minute with Rooks.”

“Alright.” When I didn’t move, Duggar said, “He’s up in his room. Number 218.”

I nodded, then started towards the elevator.

When I got to the second floor, I charged down the hall and banged on Rooks’ door. It took him a minute, but eventually, Rooks opened it and smiled when he saw that it was me. “Holt. I was wondering when you’d come around.”

The bastard stood there smirking at me like he didn’t have a care in the damn world, and he didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed to see me standing in the hallway. My blood boiled just looking at him.

All the lies he fed Tallie came flashing through my head, all the years he had stolen from her and from me, and it was just too much. My rage took over, and I lunged at him. I tucked my shoulder as I charged forward and rammed into him, sending us both tumbling to the floor with a hard thud.

I didn’t give him a chance to recover before I was on him. I straddled my knees at his sides and started laying into him as I shouted, "You son of a bitch!"

I punched him again and again, each hit fueled by the thought of Tallie’s tear-streaked face. "You lied to her! You made her believe I was fucking dead!”

Rooks tried to block the hits, but I was relentless. His lip split, sending blood seeping down his chin, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough. I grabbed his jacket, yanking him up just to slam him back down. "How could you do that to her? To me?”

His eyes were already swelling, and he was winded, but he managed to choke out, "You don’t understand…"

He was right. I didn’t want to understand.

I stood and looked down at him as I roared, "Make me understand, then. Explain how you could destroy your sister like that! How could you do that shit to me? After all those times I had your back!”

Rooks coughed, and blood speckled the floor beneath him. But he didn’t answer. He couldn’t. There was no reason good enough for the knife he’d put in my back. I glared at him for a moment longer, then turned and headed back outside to my bike.

I didn’t even speak to Duggar.

I was too pissed to speak.

I just left the hotel and drove straight to the clubhouse.

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I parked and walked into the bar. As usual, the place was buzzing. Music was playing from the jukebox, and there were brothers at the pool tables and a few in the back playing darts. I barely noticed any of them.

I grabbed a bottle of bourbon and a glass, then sat down. I poured myself a tall one and kicked it back. I was about to have another when Preacher came over and sat down next to me. He glanced down at my hands and asked, “What the hell happened to you?”

"It’s been a night.”

“Oh, yeah? Wanna tell me about it?”

Preacher had his own shit going on and I hated to unload on him, but there was no one I trusted more to give me advice. I poured another and tossed it back before answering, "Tallie came by my place tonight."

“And?”

"She had quite a story.”

“I can imagine.”

“Nah, there’s no imagining this. Hell, this was one for the books.”

I cleared my throat then told him everything Tallie had told me. At first, he didn’t say anything. He just let it all sink in. After a moment, he finally let out a breath, "Jesus. They did a real number on you both."

"Yeah, they did."

“Doesn’t explain why your hands look like they’ve been through a meat grinder.”

“I stopped by the hotel and had a word with Rooks.”

“I see.” He studied me for a moment, then asked, “You really care about this girl?”

“Yes, sir. Always have.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“She asked me the same thing.” I rubbed my hand over my face. "I just don’t get why she’d wait two years to reach out to me. I don’t give a fuck what her old man said. I could’ve held my own.”

“Shep said he was involved with the Volkov family.”

“Yeah, among others.”

“Would be enough to make anyone leery, especially a young, single mother who was off in another country alone.”

I understood what he was saying. They were bad people who didn’t think in the lines of limits, but I wanted to believe I was strong enough to handle whatever they would throw at me. And maybe I was, but I couldn’t say the same about Tallie. “But what if she didn’t know about her father’s dealings? What could’ve kept her from reaching out?”

“Even if she had no idea who he was involved with, she knew he was powerful in his own right. And he was her father. That would be enough to make her hesitate.”

“I guess you have a point there.”

“Definitely one to consider.” He took a pull from his drink, then asked, “How’d you two end things?”

“I told her I needed time to think it over.”

“What are you thinking?”

"I don’t know," I said honestly. "But the thought of losing her again is fucking killing me."

“Hmmm.” Preacher leaned back with a knowing look—one that told me he’d already figured out what I hadn’t yet. "Sounds like you already know what you gotta do."

“But how am I supposed to just let all this shit go? I lost seven years with my kid.”

“Sounds like that was on her folks and not her.”

“She’s not completely innocent in all this.”

“No, but forgiving her isn’t for her.” Preacher kept his eyes trained on me as he said, “It’s for you. Let that sink in for a minute.”

“That’s kind of deep, Prez.”

“Maybe, but it’s true. Just give it time. You’ll see.”

Prez sat with me as I finished another drink and then another. Once the alcohol took effect, I decided to call it a night. Prez’s words were still rattling in my head as I left the bar and walked down the hall to my room. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was right. Maybe it was better to just forgive her and move on, but I wasn’t sure I had it in me to just let it go.

I didn’t bother taking off my clothes before I collapsed on the bed. The room spun just enough to force me to kick my leg over the side of the bed. I rested my foot on the floor and willed the world to stop spinning, even if it was just for a minute. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for me to drift off.

It was the kind of sleep that felt more like falling into a black hole than actually sleeping. There were no dreams. No thoughts. Just nothing.

Only the nothing didn’t last long.

I had no idea how long I’d been out when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. The harsh sound cut through the silence like a knife, and it wouldn’t stop. It didn’t take long for me to become irritated, and I pulled out from my pocket. I looked at the screen, and I sat up the second I read Duggar’s name.

“What’s wrong?”

“They’re here,” Duggar answered.

“What do you mean? I was just there a couple of hours ago.”

“I don’t know what to tell ya, brother, but that Mercedes is parked right out front, and two shady-looking assholes just headed into the lobby.”

“Dammit.” I swung my legs off the bed and stood as I ordered, “Stay there. Keep eyes on ‘em. I’m on my way.”

“Got it.”

I ended the call before shoving my phone back into my pocket. I grabbed my jacket and my piece, then headed down the hall to find Prez. I had to give him a heads up about what was going down, and then, I had to get my ass to that fucking hotel before those assholes did something we’d all regret.

When I told Prez about Duggar’s call, he was quick to reply, “Go but take Goose or Skid with you. Whoever’s closest. I don’t want you going there alone.”

“Understood.”

I sent them both a text, and by the time I made it out to the parking lot, they were both standing by my SUV. As soon as we’d loaded up, I filled them in on what was going on with Tallie and the Mercedes that had been following her. Goose was the first to ask, “Any idea who these guys are?”

“No clue, but it’s clear they’re up to no good. I need to get them out of there.”

“Understood.”

When we got to the hotel, it was still dark, and the streets were clear. I eased the truck up to the curb and parked. We scanned the area, but there was no sign of the Mercedes.

Goose was taking another look around as he said, “I’m not seeing ‘em.”

“Looks like they’ve bolted.”

“Need to make sure.”

The three of us climbed out and made our way toward the entrance. It was barely daybreak, and the ladies were just starting to put out the coffee and the breakfast bar. We continued into the lobby, and that’s when I spotted Duggar near the vending machines.

He immediately started towards me and announced, “They’re gone.”

“How long?”

“Just missed them. They took off after the security guard questioned them.”

“Damn.” My jaw tightened. “What about Tallie and Ford?”

“They’re still upstairs.”

That was all I needed to hear. Without another word, I turned and headed for the elevator. When we reached the door to her room, I knocked, sharp and firm. There was no answer, so I knocked again, louder this time.

Finally, the door creaked open, and Tallie appeared wearing a pair of gray pjs and her hair up in a messy bun. Her eyes were puffy with sleep, but the second she saw me and the boys, she woke right up. “Holt, what are you doing here?”

“They were here.”

“Who?”

“The men who’ve been following you. They were here.”

“Were?”

“They’ve gone.” I tried to keep my voice low and steady as I told her, “I don’t know where, but we both know they’ll come back. And I don’t want you here when they do.”

“How would you know all this?”

“I just know.” Growing impatient, I stepped into the room and said, “We need to get you and Ford out of here. Now .”

“I can’t just leave.” She shook her head. “Mom and Rooks…”

“Rooks can handle himself,” I snapped, leaving no room for argument. “I’ll find a place for him to take your mother, but for the time being, you and Ford are with me.”

“I don’t know. I…”

“This isn’t up for discussion, Tal. I’m not leaving you here. Not with those guys sniffing around.”

“You promise to make sure Mom and Rooks are safe?”

“You have my word.”

She hesitated for one more second, then nodded and started over to Ford. Once he was up, we started gathering their things. Skid and Goose went next door to get Tallie’s mother, and then, down the hall to get Rooks. They would take them to one of the club’s safe houses until we could figure out the best place for them.

We were almost set to go when Tallie looked over to me with worry in her eyes. She looked like she was on the verge of breaking when she muttered, “Who is doing this?”

I’d been asking myself the same thing. I knew her father was involved with some shady folks. Hell, you can’t get more dangerous than the Russian mafia, but I didn’t get why they were so intent on hunting down Tallie. It was enough to make my stomach turn, but I wasn’t going to let her know that.

Not wanting Ford to hear, I stepped over to her and whispered, “Don’t have to worry about that. The boys and I will handle them.”

“But how?”

“Let me worry about that.”

She nodded, then gathered the last of her things.

Minutes later, I had Tallie and Ford loaded in the SUV, and we were driving over to my place. Tallie sat in the back with her eyes fixed on the road ahead. She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t have to. I could tell that she was scared and confused. Ford was, too. But as long as they were on my watch, I planned on keeping them both out of harm’s way.