Page 9

CREED

M y mind had been made up the second I stepped foot back on campus.

This was it. This was my last year at Rutgers. My last year before I entered the draft. I had already told myself I wasn’t waiting—I was entering the league this year, no matter what.

I had to.

Because every time I talked to Nas, every time I heard the exhaustion in his voice, the way he tried to act like he was fine when I knew damn well he wasn’t, the decision only got clearer.

Nate had him wrapped up in shit he had no business being in.

And if I didn’t get him out now, I might never get the chance.

"You sure about this?" Brodie had asked a few weeks ago, watching me lace up my sneakers before practice.

"Yeah," I had muttered, tightening the strings.

"I mean, I know you been planning for this, but… you good?"

I had paused, flexing my fingers before exhaling.

"I don’t really got a choice, Bro."

Brodie had studied me for a second, nodding slowly.

"Then let’s get to work."

And that was exactly what I did.

I threw myself into basketball, conditioning, early morning workouts, and late-night film sessions. The season was coming fast, and if I was gonna put myself in the best position for the draft, there was no room for mistakes.

But even with everything I had going on, Serenity still managed to take up space in my mind.

Somehow, I had made a habit of spending most of my weekends in New York. At first, it was just an excuse to get out of Jersey—Brodie was always going to see Ari, and I figured, why not? But it didn’t take long for me to realize why I kept making the trip.

It was her…Serenity.

She had become my best friend. I didn’t even know how it happened, but it just felt natural.

We could talk about anything and everything, laugh about dumb shit, argue over music, sit in comfortable silence.

And the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that I didn’t just enjoy her company—I needed it.

The problem? I wasn’t supposed to. I knew it, hell I don’t doubt in my mind that she knew it. Everyone around us seemed to know it but we kept playing this little game; pretending that we were just friends when in actuality I was fallin for her.

"Baby, what’s going on with you?" I was sitting in my dorm, scrolling through my phone when Gianna’s voice rang through the speaker.

"What you mean?" I muttered, already knowing where this was going.

"I mean, you been actin’ different," she said, frustrated. "You always ‘busy’ now, and when you do have time, you barely talk to me."

I exhaled, running a hand down my face. "Gi, you know I’m locked in.

School, basketball, all that. You been knew what it was.

I got shit to do and I can’t have no distractions.

We talked about it and I’m entering the draft this year.

If I’mma be picked, I gotta make sure I’m having the best season I can.

That means, longer practices, longer work outs, and less time for anything else. "

"That’s not an excuse," she snapped. "You ain’t never been too busy for me before."

I stayed quiet.

Because she wasn’t wrong. I had been pushing her to the back burner without even realizing it. Not on purpose. But because my time—my mind—was occupied with someone else.

"You messing with somebody?" she suddenly asked, voice low.

I frowned. "What?"

"Are you sleeping with someone else, Creed?"

I exhaled, shaking my head. "Nah, Gi. I ain’t doing that."

And I wasn’t.

But I also wasn’t telling her the whole truth. Because even though I wasn’t touching Serenity, she was still on my mind in a way Gianna wasn’t. And that? That was probably worse.

“Okay, so what is it for real then?”

“I just told you what it was Gianna. I don’t know what else you want me to say.” I was gaslighting her, hoping she would take the bait.

Truth was, I could have found time to call her, but I hadn’t because my line was always readily available for that little chocolate girl in New York.

The one with the deep dimple in her left cheek that made my heart go crazy whenever she smiled.

The one who’s curly hair was usually wild and free whenever she wasn’t dancing in which case it would be pinned up in a high bun.

The one who made me laugh without trying.

It was so natural with her and with Gianna, especially lately; it felt forced.

“I just—I just want you to think about me for a second. I’m trying to be supportive, but I want my time too.”

“And you will have it Gi, once I finish this year, complete the draft and have you sitting pretty somewhere laced in diamonds.” I knew it was what she wanted to hear, so I said it.

There was a brief pause.

I don’t know what I expected her to say, was hopeful that she would actually tell me she didn’t give a damn about sitting pretty laced in diamonds but instead she said;

“Fine.”

And that’s when I knew, she was probably with me for the wrong reasons. That shit hurt.

“Aight, let me go. I’m about to grab some food and then lay down; got a long day tomorrow.”

“Okay Baby.” She sighed. “I love you Creed.”

“Love you too Gi.” I replied before disconnecting the line.

I threw my phone down on the bed next to me staring up at the ceiling as the conversation went through my head.

Was I wrong for gaslighting her, I knew I was.

But at the same time, I put little fillers out there to test her and Gianna seemed to fail every single time.

The correct answer was for her to insist I make more time for her, not be satisfied with me telling her what I was going to do for her.

Shit was off and if I’m being honest with myself, I knew it a while back.

During the summer, I noticed some shit that had me questioning her loyalty to me.

When we were together her phone stayed buzzin and she stayed ignoring it.

A couple of times, I would catch her smiling at her phone and I was sitting next to her, there was no fucking reason for her to be smiling at it.

Who besides me was making my girlfriend of ten plus years smile from ear to ear?

When I brought it up, she waved me off, like I was trippin.

The more I thought about it, the more I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe it was time to let go.

I hated it, but it was the reality I was living in.

Before I could think too hard on it, I heard a knock at the front door of the apartment. Seconds later, I heard Donovan calling my name so I hopped up out of bed and made my way out of my bedroom.

“What’s up Don?”

“Door is for you.” He replied walking back towards the couch where he was watching ESPN. I made my way to the door and was confused seeing someone standing there holding a bag of food.

“I ain’t order no food.” I told the delivery man as soon as I got to the door. “You might got the wrong place.”

“Creed Langston?” he asked looking at the name on the slip.

“Yeah, but I ain’t order?—”

“Somebody named Serenity ordered it for you.” He confirmed still reading the slip before handing the bag of food to me. “Enjoy the rest of your night.” He walked away leaving me standing there with the bag.

I closed the door, walked past Don and went into the kitchen placing the bag down on the counter. From this close I could smell the shrimp fried rice. I checked the slip on the bag and saw it was from Big Wong’s in New York.

“What the fuck?” I opened the bag and saw an assortment of food, including Shrimp fried rice, sweet and sour chicken, egg foo young, and egg rolls.

A couple of times, I’d be in New York kicking it with her and her favorite thing to order was Big Wong’s Chinese food.

I loved their food too, it was different from the Chinese here in Jersey and definitely different from the Chinese in Texas.

Smiling, I grabbed a plate and started piling food onto it. Once I was done, I passed Donovan up and let him know there was food in the kitchen before going into my bedroom and shutting the door. I immediately grabbed my phone and called Serenity, placing the call on speaker.

“Creedy Reedy.” She answered the phone, and I laughed.

“Stop calling me that shit SB.”

“Stop calling me Tootie and I will.” She laughed as well. “I take it your food arrived.”

“How the fuck did you convince them to drive an hour away to bring this to me?” I asked putting a spoonful of food into my mouth.

“I tipped them well. I figured you would be hungry after a long day at practice and you eating a noodle cup just devastated me.”

“Aye them cup noodles be hitting tho.” I bit off a piece of my egg roll. “I appreciate this SB, for real.”

“Of course. So, how was practice today?”

“Long, but you know I gotta do what I gotta do. How was your day?”

“We got assigned partners in one of my dance classes today for an end of the year recital. We have to choreograph and perform our own routine.”

“How that make you feel?”

“I mean, it’s fine. I’ve done it before; but usually on my own. Working with somebody else is what’s going to be the most challenging. Thank God the person I got partnered up with is really talented.”

“A guy?”

“Yes, a guy. I think he might be gay though, so no flirting for me.” She snickered.

“Yeah aight.” The line got quiet as I continued to eat. “Yo, you good?”

“Yeah, of course.” She replied before clearing her throat. “So, how’s Gianna?”

I paused with my fork suspended midair. She never brought up Gianna, it was likely that I would mention her but not that often.

“She good, I guess. Why you asking me about Gi, Serenity?”

“I just was curious to see how she was doing. I hadn’t heard you mention her in a little minute.”

“Gianna is good. I just got off the phone with her a few minutes ago.”

“Oh, that’s good, that’s good.” I felt like something was off. We both knew she didn’t give a fuck about how Gianna was doing. “Funny thing happened at school today; I was in the cafeteria with Averi and Egypt, you remember them, right?”