Page 20 of Semi-Human

It takes us another five days to finally cross the border to Utah. We rely on old maps for traversal, but even without those, we would have figured it out with how drastically the world around us changes. From lush green trees and lakes, we gradually shift to a drier land where orange, yellow, and red dominate the landscape. It also grows warmer; a relief during nighttime, but less so when we’re walking about twenty miles a day with our gear.

We have seven horses with us, and we take turns riding them whenever someone needs a break. It’s refreshing walking on plains rather than on rocky terrain, but this land is foreign, and our maps are less reliable. We walk north because most of Utah’s old cities were once located there. Speaking with locals is our best chance at gathering intel and planning our next steps.

As the days pass, our group stops feeling like two separate factions. Traveling together has a way of tearing down barriers. Some of the Semis have a hard time communicating with their voices, but they get better at it every day.

River and I volunteer to scout ahead for some privacy. The wide plains and rolling hills spread all around us as we slowly ride.

“Can we have sex on the horse?”

River asks from behind me.

“We are not having sex on this horse.”

“Then on which horse?”

I laugh. “We’ll find somewhere quiet tonight, same as we did last night.”

He wraps his arms around my chest and presses me against him, his lips finding the skin between my shoulder and neck. I hold tightly to the reins and slow down the pace, enjoying the warmth of his lips. He slides his hand down to my crotch and starts lowering my zipper.

“What are you doing?”

“This isn’t sex.”

He pulls out my cock.

“You’re crazy.”

But I don’t try to stop him. He strokes me firmly while his other hand slips beneath my shirt. When he pinches my nipple, I signal the black stallion to stop.

“We’re alone,”

River says. “You don’t need to be quiet.”

I take a shaky breath before moaning into the air. My skin breaks into a sweat as River continues to jerk me. He uses my precum to intensify the sensation.

“Louder,”

he whispers as he reduces me to a breathless, whimpering form. He gets me close, then slows down.

“River, come on.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

I hump his palm, dying for more friction. “Please,”

I pant. “Just a bit more. River, don’t stop… I… fuck, I’m…”

My body spasms in River’s arms when I finally come. I would have fallen if it weren’t for his strong grip. When the world around me becomes clear once more, I look down in horror. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“I came all over the horse!”

“Wasted nutrients.”

“River, stop laughing!”

“You’re also laughing!”

By the time we calm down, I start to hear the rest of the group coming closer. We quickly ride ahead on the poor stallion until we’re far enough for me to climb down and clean him up with water. I give him some fruit as an apology, then we wait for the rest to catch up.

When Caden approaches, I try not to look too guilty, but he shakes his head like a disappointed parent. “Honestly, Joshy. At least zip up your fly.”

I look down. “Shit.”

*

We’re walking on the long road when Finn says, “It’s so beautiful out here. I love the open plains.”

He’s on the back of his horse. The two of them have become inseparable, with some calling him Horse Boy. “It’s also harder for someone to shoot at us from behind a cover.”

“We can still get shot at just fine,”

Ace says. “Don’t get overconfident.”

As Defenders, we are taught never to let our guard down, but walking with the Semis means we have ears that can reach miles away. I try to stay vigilant, but if there’s danger out there, I won’t be the first to spot it.

We spend the second half of the day walking in a column across Interstate 70, and by evening we reach an old factory that the Semis confirm is abandoned. There are enough rooms for us to spread out comfortably—a rare treat ever since we started this journey. The icing on the cake is the discovery of running water and a few working showers. We have to wait a few minutes for the dirt to filter out, but then it’s bliss.

After dinner, River, Lyla, and I join Caden in what was once a meeting room. We clean the dust from the long table and spread our map across it. In the last couple of days, we’ve been debating whether to try reaching Salt Lake City. It’s likely being controlled by local gangs since those seem to gravitate toward major cities from the Before Times. Despite the risk, we’re more likely to come across smaller settlements on the way there.

“There are mountains around Salt Lake City,”

River says, his copper hair still damp from the shower we took earlier. “We can observe the city from up high.”

Lyla shakes her head. “If the New-Humans have been operating in Utah, it makes sense for them to have taken the biggest city by now. I think we should keep looking for smaller settlements closer to here.”

Caden leans over the map, twitching his lips as he usually does when debating. “Okay, let’s focus on this area for now before moving closer to Salt Lake.”

“I felt something a bit west of here,”

River says. “It could be a settlement.”

Lyla nods. “I sensed something too. We’ll know more tomorrow.”

Caden rolls up the map. “Okay, then. Have a good night.”

I go to play cards with Finn before bed. He claims it helps him sleep better, so we turned it into our routine.

“They’re edgy,”

Finn says while holding his cards. We’re sitting in what used to be the workers’ dining hall. It’s a miracle there’s still power in this place.

“Who’s edgy?” I ask.

“River and the rest. It’s like they’re sensing something, but they aren’t sure what it is. I don’t think they’ve ever been so close to the giants before.”

“They have. I told you about the one who came to their village. And we don’t even know if there are giants close by. It doesn’t seem so.”

Finn lowers his voice. “If River can sense his people from miles away, doesn’t it make sense for the improved version to sense even farther? They might be sensing us from as far as Las Vegas.”

I shift in my seat, not liking the way his mind works, though I see his point. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. So far, this entire place has turned out to be a wasteland.”

“Who’s winning?”

We both jolt at the sound of River’s voice. He’s barefoot, which makes his footsteps even harder to hear than usual.

“Finn’s winning,”

I say. River sits on the bench next to me. I watch him, searching for any sign of stress or worry.

“What is it?” he asks.

“Can you communicate with the New-Humans like you can with your people?”

Finn asks.

“We can’t, but we know they can communicate with each other.”

He looks from Finn to me, as if debating what to say.

“Tell us,”

Finn presses.

River crosses his arms. “We’re worried they might have learned how to listen to our communication after some of my people joined them.”

I shudder at the possible ramifications. “This could mean bad news, River.”

“That is why we stopped communicating among ourselves, but doing so has made it harder for us to hear other things.”

Finn shakes his head. “Then we haven’t been as safe as we thought in the past few days.”

“We are safe,”

River says, though there’s doubt in his voice.

“Does it mean there might be settlements closer than we think?” I ask.

“There might be.”

River’s shoulders slump. “I feel almost deaf, only picking up echoes. It’s not a nice feeling.”

“You should tell Caden about this,”

I say, worried about how he’ll react.

“He knows.”

“He does?”

“He’s the captain, so we told him. He said that as long as we could still sense nearby danger, he didn’t want anyone to panic.”

I understand Caden’s logic, but I still wish I had been told.

“I don’t want to play anymore.”

Finn collects his cards.

“Are you upset with me?”

River asks.

Finn shoots him a hard look. “I think you’re keeping too many secrets, and I don’t like it. Everyone here has the right to know if your people have limitations that might put us at risk. I don’t want to die out here when I finally have a home to go back to. I’ve… I’ve spent months with you, River, risked my life for your crazy plan, and you not once mentioned what was inside those purifiers. You talk about trust, but you don’t know what it means.”

He stands up and shoves his cards into his pocket. “Good night.”

River stares at Finn as he walks away. “Can you please not look at me, Josh? I’m about to cry.”

I hug him instead, which technically means I’m not looking at him. He sobs quietly against my chest, this man who carries too much weight on his shoulders. I don’t care how strong he is—none of this feels fair, and I don’t know how to help. Being here for him feels like the bare minimum.

We climb onto the roof after River calms down. Like in Colorado, the sky is rich with shining stars, and the thought of war in this sea of serenity feels preposterous.

River hands me his harmonica. He’s been giving me lessons, but since he was never professionally trained, his critiques usually involve comments like, “Blow harder,”

and “That sounds nice.”

“Finn will calm down by tomorrow,”

I say once my lips get tired.

River leans with his elbows on his knees, his gloominess yet to pass. The silvery moon Illuminates his face. “He has the right to be angry. Mother told me not to say a thing about my mission, but I don’t think she knows much about friends.”

This might be the first time I heard him say anything slightly negative about Mother. “You can’t change what happened, so focus on being honest from now on.”

He doesn’t meet my eyes, sparking a bad feeling in my gut.

“There’s something you haven’t told me.”

I tilt his chin to look at me. “Whatever it is, I want to know. I can take it.”

His breathing grows fast as he struggles to hold my gaze. “You’ll be upset with me.”

I sense I will, but how can I help him if I’m left in the dark? From the moment I met him, I’ve felt compelled to be by his side and share his burden. There’s nothing he can say that will change that. “I want to know, River.”

He exhales. “In my head… there’s a way to kill Father. Him, and possibly every New-Human.”

By this point, I shouldn’t be shocked by anything he tells me, but I still am. “How can you do that?”

He shifts closer, both of us sitting with our backs against the concrete railing. “Helena was suspicious of Ivan’s ambition from the start. When they decided to transform into digital beings, she feared he’d seek revenge after how my people had been treated, so she created an algorithm that could sabotage Father.”

“What’s an algorithm?”

“It’s a type of rule that computers use to process data and make decisions. Everything is based on algorithms. It’s like… how digital things think.”

“And this algorithm can kill Father?”

“It can make him kill himself.”

“How?”

“Father believes he’s the savior of the world. That has been his mission since he was created by Ivan. If we make him see himself as a threat instead of a savior, it might make him self-destruct. We hope it will take care of the New-Humans as well, but just getting rid of Father would make a huge difference.”

That’s putting it lightly. “Do any of your people know about this algorithm?”

“No. If any of us get captured and interrogated by force, Father might find out I’m a threat to him.”

“So what about the code for the purifiers?”

“We still want to get that. Father might have found out about the algorithm by now and has ways to fight it, so we can’t give up on those missiles—they might still be our only way to defeat his army.”

I lean my head against the railing, feeling twice as heavy. “It’s not fair of Mother to put so much responsibility on you.”

It's goddamn selfish.

“She trusts me. She wanted me to leave the village and see the world, and now I know there are things worth saving, like you and Finn.”

I sigh and hold his hand, his skin warmer than the night’s air. “Is there anything else you still haven’t told me?”

He shakes his head. “No. I’m sorry about all the secrets. I’m not a great boyfriend.”

I’m surprised by how naturally that word slips out of his mouth, as if we’ve already decided this is what we are. “You’re… a pretty great boyfriend.”

He turns his head to kiss me. “I will get even better. Come, time for bed.”

Despite the weight of these discoveries, I sleep soundly with River’s arm around me, his warm breath stroking my nape.

I still wonder sometimes what I would have done differently if I had known this was our last night together.