Page 19 of Semi-Human

“There are freaks out there who think the giants are gods,”

Dara says. “How fucked up do you need to be for that?”

“It’s a fucked-up world,”

Ace says with a shrug.

We’re walking on Highway 50. The sun is high in the sky, but the breeze is nice and mellow. Most of the force is walking in front of us, with Caden at the lead. I’ve never met anyone who could so easily slip into the leader role like him.

“I saw what those freaks are capable of,”

I say as the memory resurfaces.

Dara glances at me, her curly hair pulled into a ponytail. “What do you mean?”

“When I was with River and his friend Lyla, we came across bodies on a highway. It was a gruesome scene, and whoever did it wrote, All hail the coming of the giants.”

Dara shakes her head. “A fucked-up world indeed.”

“Hey, I recognize that ridge.”

Finn points ahead from the back of his horse. “We’re a few hours from Black Canyon.”

I’ve done a good job in the last four days keeping my dread under control, but it all comes bubbling up with River possibly being so close—or long gone.

“There’s a path through those mountains, and then we’ll need to climb. I’ll go tell Caden.”

Finn leads his horse forward, making people move aside to give him room.

For the next three hours, I’m unable to take a proper breath or even talk. There’s an unshakable weight pressing against my chest and ominous thoughts circling in my head.

We reach the path Finn mentioned, and Caden comes over to quietly tell me, “It seems like at least a thirty-minute climb, but it’s getting late. I’m thinking we should camp out here until tomorrow morning.”

It’s a reasonable decision, but my stomach twitches. We’ve already lost so much time because of my arrest. I hold his gaze. “Please.”

He sighs and squeezes my shoulder. “Okay. Up we go, everyone!”

We begin to climb, leaving our horses tied to some trees. The path is rocky and winding, becoming narrower the further we climb. Finn claims there are better ways to reach the campsite, but not from where we’re coming. He’s agile and light on his feet like one of those animals who live on mountain slopes, but the rest of us aren’t, making me worry we’ll soon be climbing in the dark. Luckily, the path becomes broader closer to the peak, and we manage to finish climbing while there’s still some light left.

Around us, the world seems endless, the setting sun coloring the sky in deep shades of orange. There’s a grove up ahead and what seem like cabins between the trees. My heart catches in my throat when I spot a faint light from the campsite. I worry my hopes are playing tricks on me, but Finn squeezes my hand and says, “He’s here.”

I wipe my eyes because I’m acting like a child.

“Should we signal that we’re here?”

Caden asks. “I don’t want him thinking we’re a threat.”

“He won’t,”

I say. If River is here, he already knows we’ve arrived.

“Okay.”

Caden exhales. “Let’s go say hello.”

We walk in silence toward the grove. The air is colder up here, and the wind is stronger, but I barely feel a thing. My entire world narrows down to the light between the trees, getting brighter with every step.

Then I hear it, or I think I do.

“I hear it too,”

Finn says.

The harmonica. The familiar sound is carried by the wind as if to welcome us. I’m reminded of the line, Snufkin sat on a stone by the river and played his mouth-organ. It was a sad tune, but he was not sad himself.

We reach the trees and find an old paved road. The campfire is up ahead, but it’s hard to see through the clustered pine trees. We continue on the curving road, passing by cabins and old picnic tables until I finally spot people standing around the campfire—no, not people. Semi-Humans. Ten of them. I recognize most from my time at their village.

Lyla smiles and nods at me, and I manage to nod back, but I’m too stressed to smile.

She moves aside, and there he sits, still playing his harmonica. His eyes lock with mine as the flames dance across his face. His lips slide from side to side until he finishes playing and rises to his feet, wearing his familiar blue windcoat.

“Finn, you’ve brought so many people,” he says.

“You know I’m very charismatic.”

Finn walks forward to hug River, which is what I would have done if my legs weren’t glued to the ground.

“We have a lot to talk about,”

Caden says, “but it’s been a long day, and my people are tired. Can we get settled?”

“There’s enough room for all of you,”

Lyla says. “We’ll have a nice meal ready soon.”

Happy murmurs rise behind me. We’ve been eating field rations for days.

Lyla and some of the other Semis lead my people deeper into the campsite. Finn winks at me before joining the others, leaving me alone with River.

Why can’t I speak?

River gestures for me to follow, and I force my legs to cooperate. He walks thirty feet ahead, guiding me without speaking. It turns darker the farther we get from the campfire, until we reach a small cabin. River steps inside, closing the door behind him. I frown in confusion, but seconds later, lights flicker through the window—the dancing shadows of candles. He opens the door for me to enter.

I drop my bag and climb up the three creaking stairs. It’s a small space with a large bed framed by long curtains. River stands in the middle of the room, nervously biting his bottom lip. The light from the candles illuminates half his face in soft gold.

“You’ve waited,”

I say, because it deserves to be acknowledged.

“I knew you’d come eventually. I also waited for some friends to arrive, so I wasn’t alone these past few days. Are you okay?”

“I’m… yes. I’m sorry for how they treated you.”

He shrugs, but there’s hurt in his eyes, as there should be. “Rowan destroyed the trust. My people were very upset when I told them who he really was. We never suspected. Mother claims she doesn’t remember Nathaniel, but she knows there are black spots in her memory, so his story makes sense.”

He lets out a deep sigh. “I really wanted it to work.”

“I know. Me too.”

I don’t want to talk about anything sad anymore. I take a step forward, and he takes one too, our faces almost touching. I wonder if he can imagine how much I thought about him during my imprisonment, and whether he can hear how fast my heart beats. There were moments in that cell I feared I might have imagined him.

“My prisoner,”

he whispers, sending my self-control out the window.

I kiss him hard. He tastes like fruit, even better than I remembered. As soon as we stop to breathe, we pull each other’s clothes off. We crash onto the bed with nothing between us but skin. I touch him everywhere, licking, nibbling, and sucking.

I end up on top of him, holding his hands next to his head, his long hair spreads on the pillow.

“You’ve overpowered me! I feel so… fragile.”

“Great acting.”

I shake my head. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

“Which part of me did you miss the most?”

“Oh no, we’re not playing that game.”

“Was it my knees?”

I shut him up with a long kiss. When I raise my head, he looks down with a grin. “Hello, Josh’s penis.”

“It’s a cock.”

“Penis.”

I brush my lips against his. “Can I…?”

“In my butt?”

“Ass.”

“Yes.”

He doesn’t need much preparation, but I take my time preparing him with my fingers. I’ve imagined the sound of his pleasure countless times since our separation, but it’s entirely different hearing it live. I slide into him while he’s on his back, his lips parting as he grips my arms.

There are heavy conversations waiting ahead, but they don’t feel important now in this cabin.

At least for a while, the world is at peace.

*

The air in the camp is tense during dinner, with barely any conversations. There’s plenty of meat for everyone, but it’s not enough to lighten the mood or make people less suspicious. I can’t blame anyone, since we were supposed to meet only River, and now there’s a group of Semi-Humans who are meant to join us for the rest of our journey. Some are watching me warily, maybe thinking I knew about this all along.

Surprisingly, what finally breaks the tension is a pissing contest.

A muscular guy from High Hope named Neil stands up and challenges anyone to arm wrestle him. He’s been doing that every day, and since he always wins, he stopped finding new rivals. He directs the question at our people, but it’s Lyla who stands up and says, “I’ll wrestle.”

Neil seems taken aback, clearly torn between not wanting to wrestle a Semi-Human and not wanting to back off from wrestling a woman.

Lyla raises a finger. “I won’t even use my hand—just my itsy bitsy finger.”

People cheer, and Neil is smiling like he’s already won. He and Lyla sit on both sides of a picnic table, while the rest of us stand in a circle to watch. Lyla tries to give Neil the benefit of the doubt, but there’s not much point. His face turns red from effort within seconds, a stark contrast to Lyla’s stoic expression. She finally puts him out of his misery by slamming the back of his palm against the table. He seems relieved to be done with the humiliation, and we all cheer for the winner.

“I can beat Lyla,”

River whispers, but his tone implies he hopes she won’t challenge him.

With the air less tense and more people engaging in conversation, Caden approaches me and River. “Where can we talk in private?”

“Can it wait until tomorrow?” I ask.

Caden gives me a look, and I can’t blame him—I’ve been asking a lot of him lately.

“It’s fine,”

River says. “We can speak in our cabin.”

We follow River as he guides us in the dark. He steps inside the cabin and lights some candles, then Caden and I join him, taking the only two chairs while River sits on the bed.

Caden starts to speak, but River cuts him off by saying, “Come in.”

The door opens slowly and Finn peeks inside. “Am I interrupting?”

“Yes,”

Caden says.

“Finn helped bring us together,”

River says, “and I would trust him with my life. I’d like for him to stay.”

Caden crosses his arms. “Then you don’t mind him hearing about the secret plan you and Mother have been cooking up?”

River tenses and meets my eyes. I look away, my face warm. I don’t feel like I’ve betrayed his trust, but he might see it differently.

“Yes,”

River says, “I still want Finn to join us.”

Caden shrugs, and Finn enters and closes the door behind him, then goes to sit on the bed next to River.

“We haven’t officially met. I’m First Lieutenant Caden Anderson of the Defenders of Unity.”

River nods. “I’ve heard about you from Josh, and I’m sure he told you nice things about me.”

Caden frowns, but I’m used to River’s… Riverness.

“After the shitshow with the reactor, it was decided not to cooperate with your people,”

Caden says, “but some still believe we should work together, so here we are. For us, this is a surveillance mission before taking any further military action, but I don’t think you’re interested in surveillance.”

“And why do you think that?”

“Because Rowan mentioned you might know some sort of code that Father is looking for, and—”

He stops himself from likely mentioning my conversation with Mother, but it’s time for all of us to be honest.

“I told him about my meeting with Mother. She said you have a mission besides the one to unite our people.”

River looks away, his lips pressed tight. Based on Finn’s confused expression, he doesn’t know about any other mission either.

“I can’t let people know,”

River says quietly. “Not your people and not mine.”

“You were able to keep it a secret from your people?”

I ask, knowing how freely information flows between them.

“I have to. Mother chose me for this, and if I fail…”

His eyes turn heavy with worry, or is it fear?

I say, “Nothing you tell us will leave this room. I swear.”

“I won’t tell anyone,”

Finn says.

“As long as you don’t put my people at risk, I’ll keep my mouth shut,”

Caden says, though there’s hesitation in his voice.

River takes a breath, and his next words shock me to my core. “The purifiers weren’t only built to clean the air. They hold hundreds of missiles.”

I remember our visit to the purifier, when River acted as though the old device was still important and needed to be checked on.

Caden leans forward, hands on his knees. “All of them hold missiles?”

“Yes. Our first wave collected them from old military bases and built the purifiers to be missile launchers as well. The air was already a few years from becoming clean of radiation, but they built more purifiers than were required because there were so many missiles. Mother claims it was to keep armies from starting wars once it was safe to live outside. A precaution against human nature.”

“Then why weren’t they used when your people fought against the Defenders?”

I ask, unable to imagine not using such power with your back against the wall.

“Father—he was still Ivan back then—wanted us to have the ability to use the missiles whenever my people felt threatened, but Helena refused to make it that easy. They agreed for each of them to keep half of the code that activated the missiles, so that it would be a joint decision whether to use them. But they didn’t come to an agreement during the war between our people.”

So many pieces begin to fall into place. “Is that why Father is taking over the satellites?”

River nods grimly. “If he makes Mother weak enough, he’ll be able to break into her database and find the rest of the code. Once he has that, he can attack every settlement that refuses to submit.”

“But you also know what Mother knows,”

I say, understanding now why Rowan reacted the way that he did. This really could change everything.

River nods. “Mother shared it with me in case she’d be compromised.”

“I don’t get it,”

Caden says. “What are you supposed to do with half a code? Doesn’t it put you in danger?”

Before he can answer, I say, “You’re supposed to get the other half from Father.”

River watches me with remorse. “Yes. My mission.”

Your suicide mission. My skin turns cold, but my blood feels hot.

Caden asks, “How the hell are you supposed to accomplish that mission?”

“I will need to reach Las Vegas, but getting the code from Father was always the last resort. Uniting our people and beating him in battle is the best way to make sure no one will ever hold so much power.”

Uniting Colorado under a single banner never felt more important. It might be the only way to stop River from embarking on this crazy mission of facing Father.

“Why can’t we just destroy the purifiers?”

Caden asks.

River shakes his head. “They aren’t built to be damaged by regular weapons, and they might detonate if the structure is compromised.”

“Let me be clear—this mission is about surveillance,”

Caden says firmly. “We’re not invading Las Vegas with less than fifty people.”

“Like I said, uniting our people is the best option. If your leaders need more intel before committing to this war, my friends and I will help.”

“Good, so let’s be on the same page here. We won’t be looking for action, and I don’t care how strong your people are.”

River nods. “I understand.”

We remain silent for a long time. I wonder if there’s a part of me that’s angry at River for keeping such a big secret, but I don’t know if I would have acted differently with such a burden on my shoulders.

“We have to keep this to ourselves,”

Caden finally says. “If word of what’s inside those purifiers gets out, every group in Colorado would try getting hold of them before others can. It would tear Colorado apart.”

He’s right. The Hives, the Free Cities, the Raiders, and even some local gangs… all acting out of fear.

“I agree,”

River says. “Sometimes, secrecy is necessary for the greater good.”

Mother’s words, I think.

“Okay, time to call it a night, then.”

Caden rises to his feet. “You’re staying here?” he asks me.

“Yes.”

Finn stands up. “Good night. I won’t say anything about… you know.”

Once I’m alone with River, he asks, “Are you angry with me?”

I sit next to him on the bed. “No. I’m sorry you had to deal with this alone.”

He shrugs. “Mother chose me. Maybe she thinks I’m special, or maybe she thinks I’m the only one crazy enough for the job.”

“I think you’re a little bit of both.”

He rests his head on my shoulder. “I’m glad you know. I feel lighter.”

“Good.”

“Why did it take you so long to get here?”

I think about lying, but he’s been honest with me today. “They kept me locked up for weeks. The general wanted me to turn on Dino, but I refused. They ended up exiling me from the Hive.”

River jumps to his feet. “What? They can’t do that! It’s your home.”

Was. “It’s not the end of the world. I have bigger concerns these days.”

“Well, you can live with me in the village, then. My garden will be ours!”

I smile at his excitement, though it’s not fair to force River’s people to accept me as a resident. I will always be an outsider to them.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?”

He nods. “Okay. We’ll make it right. I promise.”

Later, as we lie under the same blanket, I can’t fall asleep. Despite having River back and knowing about his secret mission, I can’t shake the nagging feeling that there are still things he hasn’t told me, but I’m too afraid to ask.