Page 17 of Semi-Human

They lock me up in Finn’s old cell. I don’t know where they’ve taken River, but I want to believe the general wouldn’t dare harm the one who fought to save the Hive. And if he is that stupid, I hope Dino can intervene before River has no other choice but to fight back.

The guards don’t answer my questions or allow me visitors. I don’t know what I’m being accused of, but they can’t seriously believe I was behind the attack. I wasn’t even there when it started, and Caden saw me and River trying to stop Rowan. I have logic on my side, but I did vouch for Rowan, putting my honor on the line. I don’t know what I could have done differently—even Mother didn’t know who Rowan really was—but if the general is determined to pin the blame on someone, it won’t matter.

The following day, armed Defenders come to escort me. They wear helmets, so I can’t tell who they are. It’s nighttime as they lead me to the Defenders’ headquarters. They put me in a small, windowless room, making me sit with my hands bound behind my back. There are five chairs facing me.

Time passes. My throat dries, and my shoulders cramp. I try to shift my position, but the bindings are too tight. Finally, the general and four other officers enter the room and sit across from me. Not long ago, I sat alongside them as we began talking with River and Rowan about the future of our people.

One of the officers clears his throat. “Private Josh Bennett, you are here to answer questions regarding the recent attack that cost the lives of twelve people.”

I let the words sink in. Twelve people.

“He lied to us,”

I say. “River and I didn’t know Rowan used to be Nathaniel Mordok. We found out by looking at an old photo in Dino’s office, then Rowan somehow attacked River and used the opportunity to reach the reactor. When we confronted him, he revealed that he had been working with Father for decades.”

“Were there any signs he was planning an attack against us?”

another officer asks. “Signs you might have overlooked because you wanted to bring River here?”

I try to keep my breathing steady, angry at myself for providing them with ammunition by not hiding my closeness to River. I shake my head. “There were no signs that Rowan had any intentions to harm anyone. I swear.”

“Rowan was a member of the Semi-Humans’ council,”

the general says. “They chose him to represent them, and since he was working with Father—”

“The others didn’t know about that. When we faced Rowan next to the reactor, he told us that he’d been hiding his identity for decades, even from Mother.”

The general’s single eye pierces through me, and it feels like his glass eye does too. “You sound sure of yourself—as sure as you were when you swore on your honor that we could trust them.”

“I know how bad this looks, sir, but if their council wanted to destroy the Hive, why did they refuse to speak with us? I had to convince them to send someone, and yes, Rowan was the one who helped me convince them, but they did need convincing.”

The officers exchange looks, and I know I made a solid point, but I also know how my words must be coming across: It was I who convinced the council to speak with us, and now people are dead.

“Where’s River?” I ask.

“The Semi-Human known as River is no longer welcome here,”

the general says flatly. “He was escorted out and ordered never to return.”

My pulse thunders in my ears. I pray he stayed close, but what if he didn’t? Did he return to his village? I have no idea how to find it on my own.

“Private, you’ve been asked a question.”

I shake my head, refocusing on the general. “Sorry. What was the question?”

“Do you take responsibility for your actions and gross lack of judgment?”

the general asks.

I stop myself from saying that all of them were also fooled. “I take full responsibility, sir.”

The general crosses his arms and sits straighter, watching me closely. “And did Assembly Member Dino Lopez know about any of this?”

“Dino? No.”

“He encouraged us to accept the Semi-Humans into the Hive,”

the general says. “He was the one you asked to speak with when you returned. He was in possession of Rowan’s old photo, and he has even taken an ex-Raider as his assistant. Are you really claiming he had nothing to do with this?”

My head spins, my stomach churning. I’ve known that Dino and General McCoy didn’t see eye to eye, but this attempt to pull Dino into this shitshow is making me furious. “He knew nothing, sir. Nothing.”

“Leave us,”

the general orders, and the other officers do, closing the door behind them. The general slides his chair closer, our knees almost touching. “I can have you killed for this, Private.”

I know in my gut he isn’t bluffing. I take hold of my fear and say, “Then you’d be killing an innocent man.”

He snorts. “Twelve innocent people have died, making you far from innocent. I’m willing to go easy on you, Josh, and treat this as a poor lack of judgment. You’ll get a few months of incarceration, and then you can rejoin your squad. There may also be a promotion for you down the line, but for that to happen, I need you to confess that Dino Lopez knew—or strongly suspected—that something wasn’t right with the Semi-Human who tried to blow us up.”

“But that would be a lie, sir.”

“Dino is strong enough to survive this scandal. He will just need to give up his assembly seat. It’s about time for one of the higher-ranking officers of the Defenders to have a seat at the assembly, and Dino has been vocal against it.”

I now have a better sense of the reason behind the animosity between them, but it doesn’t matter. “As I said, sir—Dino had nothing to do with what happened.”

He sighs and stands up. “I’ll let you have a few days to think this over. Ask to call for me if you change your mind. Best you do it while there’s still time.”

After he leaves, they keep me tied to the chair for hours, my mouth a desert and my arms numb.

But none of that matters. I have to get out of here. I have to find River.

*

They put me in a different cell, but still somewhere in the brig. There are no other cells around, and the place is eerily quiet and cold. The only light above is milky and never turns off, keeping my sleep shallow and restless. Days and nights mix together, and no one tells me what the hell is happening. They bring me food twice a day and allow me to brush my teeth and wash, but the water’s always freezing.

I’m not physically sick, but I feel like I am. We always take vitamins to make up for the lack of sunlight, but I haven’t gotten any since they put me here. As the days pass, the loneliness is slowly creeping in on me, like a shadow that grows between my thoughts and intensifying my fears. I try to work out in the small space, but it only makes me hungrier and smellier.

The fact that Dino hasn’t yet come to see me is concerning. He should have enough influence to do so, unless something happened. Did the general succeed in throwing him out of the assembly, leaving him powerless? In that case, the general doesn’t need my cooperation anymore, so why the hell am I rotting in here? They should put me on trial or let me go.

“Food,”

a guard says, entering my cell as I sit on the mattress. He puts the plate on the floor; the same tasteless food as always. I notice there’s another guard standing outside. I expect them to leave, but they keep watching me until I finally ask, “What do you want?”

“The general is asking if you changed your mind,”

the one who gave me the food says.

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, I figured. Is it true that you and that freak had a thing going?”

I don’t bite, but he doesn’t get the hint.

“Oh, come on, you can tell me. Did the robot freak fuck you?”

“He’s not a robot.”

“I take it as a yes, then. You heard that, Chuck? The private here had the freak’s sperm in his ass.”

The other guard walks in. He’s tall and has a round face and a crooked grin. “Well, that’s just nasty. Did it give you superpowers at least?”

I take a breath and look away, waiting for them to leave.

“He sure was pretty, though,”

Chuck says, “for a freak, that is. I heard they shot him after they threw him out. Nobody wants more of them knowing where we are.”

I meet his gaze. I can tell when I’m being teased, but my self-control is hanging by a thread. “Leave.”

“Come on, what did you expect? He knew too much.”

“Leave,”

I say again, clenching my fists.

Chuck sneers. “Go on, eat.”

He nudges the tray with his foot. “Get on your hands and knees and eat like a dog.”

“Chuck,”

the other guard says, “relax.”

“Never been more relaxed, but these damn Defenders always think they’re better than everyone. Eat, I said.”

He nudges the tray again, spilling some on the floor.

I glance at the other guard, but he just stands there, looking uncomfortable.

“Not hungry,”

I say, knowing they’ll take the food away, but I don’t care.

Chuck takes a step toward me. “Did the freak’s sperm make you cocky? We have ways to handle that.”

“Better listen to him,”

the other guard says. “Chuck is stubborn like that.”

I look from the tray to the guards, telling myself I’d be wise to simply handle the humiliation. Chuck is clearly itching to blow off some steam. I shift from my mattress and walk on all fours toward the tray, taking a breath before lowering my head to eat the tasteless stew.

“There’s a good little doggy,”

Chuck chuckles. “Must be easy after being a freak’s bitch.”

“Fuck you,” I hiss.

Chuck is on me in seconds, keeping his punches away from my face. I try to fight back, but I stop because it’s pointless. Once the other guard finally pulls Chuck back, they still want me to eat. I crawl back to the tray, forcing myself to chew while pain swims up and down my body.

When they finally leave, I lie on the floor, watching the spinning ceiling.

Until I pass out, hatred is my only comfort.

*

The days continue to crawl and mix together until, finally, three guards come to see me, Chuck being one of them. They hand me fresh clothes and tell me to shower. When I ask what is happening, they refuse to answer. I try to find a clue in their eyes, but I can’t. I enter the small bathroom next to my cell, washing with freezing water. Once I’m done getting dressed, they lead me up a flight of stairs into a narrow hallway. There’s a big backpack waiting on the floor.

“What’s in there?” I ask.

“Some of your personal belongings and a bit of nova,”

one of the guards says. He’s older than the other two, with a scar leading from his right temple to the corner of his lips.

“I don’t understand.”

Though I’m beginning to.

“Pick up your things and follow us.”

“I want to speak with Dino.”

Chuck moves closer, a nasty spark in his eyes. “Let me handle this. He’s resisting.”

“I’m not! Just let me speak with—”

The older guard slaps me. “Take your shit and follow us. Final warning.”

With my face hot, I pick up the heavy backpack and follow them out of the brig. It’s nighttime, the Heights quiet and peaceful, but my pulse is running wild.

“What is going on?”

I ask as we get closer to the guarded entrance area.

“You are no longer part of this Hive.”

I turn toward the voice. The general is standing with his arms crossed.

“You can’t do this. This is my home.”

“Was. I waited patiently for you to come to your senses, but you’ve once more proven to be a fool.”

“Where’s Dino?”

“He was told to stay away from this matter, and it wasn’t a polite request.”

He tells the guards, “Make sure he has a gun before he leaves. It can get dangerous out there.”

A gun won’t help me much if I come across a band of Raiders. “You need their help,”

I tell the general. “We can’t fight what’s coming without the Semi-Humans.”

“There are barely any of them left.”

“And you’ve seen how much damage one of them can do.”

Anger flashes in his eye. “I sure did. And how many of them will end up siding with the enemy? Fighting alongside an ally we can’t trust will cripple us.”

I don’t know what to say, and I can’t blame him for thinking that.

The general shakes his head. “You should have been hanged. Consider this an act of mercy. Get him out of here.”

*

They drive me in a buggy away from the Hive, past the farthest guard outpost we have, likely because they don’t want me to meet any Defenders.

The sun is beginning to rise by the time they tell me to get out of the buggy. Until the moment they drive off, I don’t fully believe they’ll leave me out here, but they do. I look around, not recognizing where I am, which is likely the point.

I check out the gun they gave me. It will be harder for me to aim without a proper scope, and the magazine seems small. I can’t help but feel I’ve been sent here to die.

Before I begin to walk, I take a breath and shout, “River! Are you out here?”

Other than chirping birds, I hear nothing in return. It was naive of me to expect him to be here since he had no way of knowing when I’d be out or where I’d end up.

Walking down the quiet road between clustered trees, it dawns on me I may never see my home again. Unity has always been the most stable thing in my life, the place I swore to protect at all costs. The sense of betrayal is painful, but I can’t dwell on that with my survival being on the line. Assuming I find the right direction to High Hope, it will take me at least a week to get there on foot. The Hive Mercy is a bit closer, but I worry they’ll investigate why I was exiled from Unity, then send me on my way. At least in High Hope I could try tracking down Lyla, and maybe she could help me track down River.

I take a short break toward noon. My body feels rusty and sore after barely using it for however long I was locked up. I pull out a bottle of water and some dry bread from my backpack, deciding that my main focus will be finding more water and food. I’ve gotten used to River taking care of everything while we were on the road, but I won’t be catching any rabbits with my bare hands any time soon.

It’s past noon when I finally reach a small lake. I drop my backpack and swing my stiff arms, a breeze stroking my damp nape. As tired as I am, I still appreciate the fresh air and having more than four peeling walls to look at. I go through my backpack again and take out canned food and some basic tools for cooking. I assume I’m still close enough to Unity to likely not come across Raiders, so I risk starting a small fire—another thing I’ve gotten used to River doing—but I manage after a few failed attempts.

With the food warming in the pot on the fire, I fill my bottle with water from the lake. I wonder if I have time to take a dive, but I don’t want to linger any more than necessary. I should use the daylight I’ve got left to find a better hiding place to pass the night, somewhere where I can take cover from both Raiders and wild animals.

I’m about to return to check on the food when I hear horses somewhere between the trees. It makes sense for travelers to stop by the lake to rest, but my instincts immediately kick in. I hurry back to my backpack and pull out the gun. I crouch, glancing around because the horses might be a diversion—Raiders love to confuse you before they attack.

The horses huff in annoyance, walking through the woods instead of coming to the lake, which is strange. Just when it seems they’re about to continue off, I hear a distant shout of, “Dammit!”

I frown, debating whether I recognize that voice. I listen closely until I hear, “Josh! Are you out here?”

The hell? I lower the gun and rise to my feet. “Here!”

“What? Oh my God! Where?”

“Follow my voice, Finn. I’m next to a lake.”

He finds me a minute later, emerging out of the woods on the back of a horse. There’s another horse with him, the black stallion with red eyes I rode with River.

“Josh!”

Finn climbs down clumsily. “Sorry I didn’t find you sooner. We thought they’d let us know when they sent you away, but the fuckers didn’t. When I woke up and saw the tracker in your bag was miles away, I left immediately.”

I glance at my backpack. “There’s a tracker there?”

“Yes. Are you okay? Did they hurt you? You lost weight.”

I don’t want to get into that. “I’m fine. Did Dino tell you to track me?”

It’s a silly question because, of course, it was him, but I’m overwhelmed. This is the only positive development I’ve experienced since they arrested me.

“Yes, Dino’s behind this. There’s a plan! Oh, can I eat? I haven’t had time today.”

“What? Yeah, sure.”

He sits down next to the fire and takes food from the pot onto a plate. I sit in front of him and do the same, my stomach grumbling. Finn’s curly hair is slightly longer than the last time I saw him, and his clothes seem fit for the road, along with his new leather boots.

“Nice outfit.”

“What? Oh, thanks. I’ve been waiting to wear it, but they kept you locked up for so long.”

“How long?”

“You don’t know? A bit over three weeks.”

I let that sink in, not sure what I expected to hear. Time had lost all meaning in that cell.

Finn takes more food from the pot and says, “You want to hear about the plan?”

“No, I’d rather watch you eat.”

He chuckles and nods. “Dino tried to make them let you go, but the general was an asshole. He demanded a trial, but Ace and the other Defenders who were with you and River claimed you had nothing to do with the attack. When the general kept insisting on a trial, Caden resigned.”

My breath catches in my throat. “What?”

“No, it’s fine—the general gave up and agreed that you’d be exiled instead. Caden is waiting with some other Defenders about a day from here to meet with us.”

I rub my face, taking it all in. “And what about River?”

Finn’s shoulders slump. “That’s a bit more complicated.”

I try to hold back my growing dread, but my blood is getting hot. “Did anyone hurt him?”

“No. They threw him out, and I only had a minute to speak with him. He said he’d meet us where he and I had a fight.”

“I don’t follow.”

Finn puts his empty plate down. “We had a fight about his plan a while back. I wanted to help him speak with a Hiver, but getting caught felt too risky, even though he insisted he’d be there to watch over me. We were staying west of here at the time, at an old campsite in a place called Black Canyon. Dino and Caden agreed that after we rendezvous with the other Defenders, we’d head over to meet River, but… that was a couple of weeks ago. No one thought they’d keep you locked up for so long. I don’t know if River is still there—he’s not the staying-put kind of guy.”

I close my eyes, my momentary optimism fading like smoke. Would he wait for weeks in an abandoned campsite? It feels unfair to expect that of him.

“Let’s say we find him,”

I say. “What are we supposed to do then?”

“Reach Utah and collect intel. We won’t risk going as far as Nevada at this point. The assembly is working with Mercy and some of the Free Cities to raise an army against the New-Humans, but they all agreed we need more information about their capabilities before taking this further.”

I nod, seeing the logic, though I can’t help but worry that every day spent not fighting will end up costing us dearly.

“You okay, Josh?”

Finn asks quietly.

“Yeah, I’m just taking it all in. Thank you for doing this.”

“Of course. I’m part of the Hive now, aren’t I?”

He sounds as if he’s looking for my confirmation, and I don’t feel entitled to confirm anything considering he’s more a member of Unity than I am. Still, I say, “You’ll be running the place in a few years, Assembly Member Finn.”

He beams. “I like the sound of that! Oh, I’ve brought you more clothes and your sniper rifle. Did you find the book in your bag?”

“What book?”

I reach for my backpack. Beneath my clothes, I find Tales from Moominvalley.

“You took it for River?”

“He mentioned it during breakfast right before… you know.”

He shrugs. “Stealing books is way too easy.”

I run my hand over the cover. It’s a simple drawing of one of the Moomins—Moomintroll?—and Snufkin standing in front of a mountain.

“You can read it to us later,”

Finn says. “I don’t read very well.” He stands up and checks that his new boots haven’t gotten dirty. “We should use the daylight we have left if we want to reach the others by tomorrow.”

I put out the fire and pack my things before mounting the stallion. My legs are grateful to be able to ride instead of walk, though River’s presence is sorely missed. I can almost feel him sitting behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest, occasionally slipping beneath my shirt.

We ride until the sun begins to set. Luckily, there are caves around the area, and we stop at one that seems too small to be a bear’s den. We use a glow stick that Finn brought instead of starting a fire. Once we get better dressed for the cold, we share more canned food.

In the dimness of the cave, sitting shoulder to shoulder, Finn says, “I already miss my apartment. I never had one before.”

“Not even with your parents?”

“We used to stay in the shittiest places until they decided to join the Raiders, and even then we were at the bottom of the food chain. Because I was young, the clan saw potential in me, but I didn’t play along.”

“And were they okay with that?”

He shifts uncomfortably. “The leader found other uses for me, and that kept me out of combat for a couple of years. He’s the one who made me get the tattoo on my back.”

He turns around and lifts the back of his shirt. The tattoo is even larger than I imagined, poorly drawn in parts. The bloody skull stretches from the center of his back to the bottom, with two dark guns below each of his shoulder blades.

I can only imagine how painful it was to sit through such a large tattoo. My own back itches from the thought.

Saying that I’m sorry wouldn’t mean anything, so I say instead, “I hope that asshole is dead.”

Finn lowers his shirt and leans back. “He is. The first shot you guys fired got him; I saw it from the cage. Do you remember who took that shot?”

“I did.”

He kisses my cheek. “My hero.”

I’ve never felt prouder of a kill.

Finn clears his throat. “So, you and River…”

I don’t know what to say. I haven’t really spoken with anyone about him—about us—other than the short conversation I had with Dino. “Me and River,”

I say, tasting the words.

“He was really upset when they kicked him out, but I swore we’d meet him soon.”

I don’t want to think about that, about him being treated like an enemy when all he wanted was to work together with my people.

“He told me that you two were… intimate,” I say.

“We were, but it was just sex. I liked sleeping with someone nice for once. I think I prefer my men a bit taller and broader, to be honest.”

I nudge him with my elbow. “Do you now?”

He chuckles, and I sense his embarrassment, so I change the subject. “I can read us the book if you’d like.”

“That would be nice. Hmm, about my sleep; I can get noisy sometimes. If you shake me, I’ll probably stop, and if I don’t, just wake me up. Don’t feel bad.”

I nod. “I’ll remember that.”

We slip into our sleeping bags, and I pull out the book. The light is dimmer than I would have liked, but I still manage to see when I hold the book close to my face. The first story is called, The Spring Tune, and it’s about the Mooming family waiting for the arrival of spring after a long winter.

When Finn falls asleep, I put the book aside and wait for sleep to claim me as well, hoping that River knows I’m coming for him. He just needs to wait a bit longer.