Page 19
The following days were busy, as Zaryen and Meveris both got used to the rhythm and flow of the Academy life. They had classes and fight practice, and time for themselves, and at the end of each day and beginning of the next, they were always together. Always close.
They both fell into a habit of reading together about the bond and then practicing, little by little. Zaryen figured that if they had the advantage of being ahead, they should follow that and see where it led them, and thankfully, Meveris agreed.
Feraan, having read what seemed like half the library already, was an incredible resource, and easier to talk to than Master Mandryell, who, while serene and calm, intimidated Zaryen a bit.
”More than a bit, from what you”re telling me,” Feraan offered dryly. ”And you won”t get over that if you don”t start asking him all these questions. He definitely knows more than I do.”
Still, Feraan agreed to show Zaryen notes from his research, which turned out to be multiple binders full of color-coded and annotated pages.
”Just don”t tell anyone I”m sharing this with you, since they would want access, too, and I”m not going to have my system destroyed by people who refuse to put in the work themselves.”
”Of course, whatever you want.” Zaryen flipped through the large binder on the bond threads, itching to start reading it already. ”Can you tell me what helped you and Aderys the most when it came to practice?”
”Flying together was the most useful at the beginning, because it kind of pushes you into finding the connection when you”re high up in the sky, which doesn”t require much finesse. Aside from that, lots and lots of talking. You don”t even know.” Feraan scrunched his nose. ”I have never in my life talked as much as I talked with Aderys, and he says the same thing.”
Zaryen hummed in agreement, because he could see it happening with him and Meveris, too. They talked about big things and small things—the social issues in their lands, the theories from the books, the silly things Meveris and Lanveris had done when they were younger… There were still topics they barely touched, or not at all, but they would get to them, too, one day.
”It”s just so easy, most of the time,” Zaryen murmured with a glance towards the wall, as if he could see Meveris there, in the other room. They hadn”t closed the door today, but even with that, the distance was starting to be too hard, since he and Feraan had been in here for almost two hours already.
And maybe Feraan picked up on it, somehow, because he gathered the binders he wasn”t going to lend Zaryen now and put them into the big backpack he”d come here with.
”It is easy most of the time, but sometimes it”s hard, too,” he said, not meeting Zaryen”s gaze. ”And those hard conversations are crucial, for many reasons, including the deepening of the connection. Some degree of trust seems to be ingrained in the bond right from the start, but it”s not enough for its proper development. That”s something that strengthens and grows as we move forward. And speaking of bonds,” he added as he stood up, ”I need to go see if Aderys is back, since we have a class soon.”
Once Zaryen saw his friend off, he crossed the bathroom quickly and crawled on top of Meveris, who was lying on his stomach and reading.
”Hello.” Meveris”s amusement was clear in his voice. ”Can I help you with something?”
Zaryen put his cheek against his companion”s shoulder blade and wiggled his hands under Meveris”s stomach to sort-of embrace him.
”No, don”t mind me,” he said with a sigh. ”I”m good. I”m just going to lie here like this for a bit.”
Meveris chuckled. ”Sure. Whatever you want.”
Closing his eyes, Zaryen inhaled the familiar scent of his companion.
This part was the easiest, for sure.
* * *
Not everything was, though.
Overall, things were starting to quiet down on the press front—apparently, while the Prince Heir was ready to pick up another fight if needed, his opponents weren”t, or at least not so many of them as to generate broad interest. Still, there had been a few articles over the following days and weeks that made Zaryen”s stomach roll and Meveris”s jaw clench.
Zaryen”s family hadn”t tried to contact him at all, which was mostly a relief, but also wasn”t.
Partiallya relief, maybe.
What was definitely a relief, though, was the behavior of the other students at the Academy. While a few guys still glared at him from a distance, more had actually approached him and told him they were glad that he”d managed to overcome his family”s prejudices. Some shared their own stories with him, too, of having to fight with their parents who started to doubt whether or not the Academy was a suitable place for their sons.
”It hasn”t been as bad, though, compared to your story,” one of them, Oxyn, told him as they were sitting against the wall around the practice grounds and watching their companions fight.
”It was still bad.” Zaryen glanced at him, knowing that if he kept staring at Meveris, all the dragons around them would know exactly how hot he found it. ”Nobody should be held back from an opportunity like this for such a stupid reason.”
”Yeah, well.” Oxyn shrugged. ”I know of at least two guys who were.”
Zaryen grimaced and sagged against the wall. ”Wind”s curse.”
”I have to say, it totally opened my eyes to the fact that we”re kept in our families” control, whether we admit it or not. We can enjoy a comfortable life in the family estate, but when we choose to stay there as adults, we choose to hand over a lot of agency in exchange.”
”It works for some people.” Zaryen thought of his brother, who seemed to thrive in such position. ”But definitely not for others.”
”Definitely not for us.” Oxyn turned to watch his companion. ”And I can”t help but feel sorry for everyone who doesn”t get to have this.”
Zaryen nodded. He knew that not everyone would choose to come to the Academy, even if they could. Some found their calling elsewhere and some didn”t care to pursue institutional education on a higher level at all. As far as he was concerned, though, having a companion—having his person, whether in a romantic or a platonic manner—transcended any other possible scenarios for his future. Nothing even compared.
So maybe this whole mess in the press, his nerves, losing his family… Maybe it would be useful to someone else, too. If even one person felt empowered to stand against their family”s wishes and to follow their dreams because of what he”d done, Zaryen would be elated. He”d never set up to be a symbol or a role model, but if his story could make someone feel less alone and give them that additional boost of courage that they needed, he”d love that.
Not enough for him to make any kind of public statements, but then again, nothing else needed to be spelled out in the press. While Caleen had his fights to win, Zaryen simply wanted to live on his own terms.
Was it selfish? Maybe. He wasn”t the future king, though, and he wasn”t going to change his mind.
Meveris chose that moment to walk up to him, and a sight of his companion, flushed and a bit sweaty, pushed any other thoughts from Zaryen”s head.
”Can we go?” he blurted out before he could stop himself, and everyone around them snorted or chuckled.
Meveris beamed. ”Yeah, let”s go.”
It was embarrassing as they went back to clean and return their weapons and protective gear to the armory, where Taveris resided, but thankfully he hadn”t said anything. He barely raised an eyebrow at them, but when Meveris ignored it, Taveris went back to polishing a set of knives at the small table by the window.
Zaryen knew that the man had only been the keeper of the armory for about eight months or so, but he couldn”t imagine this place run by anyone else for some reason. It was as if Taveris was completely in his element.
When Zaryen shared that with Meveris on their way back to the main building—in a frankly desperate attempt to focus on something other than what he wanted to happen once they were behind a closed door—his companion nodded.
”I know what you mean. I feel like that, too, and I”m glad he gets to have it, at least for the time being.”
Zaryen frowned for a moment, not sure what that meant, before it hit him.
”Oh. Right. The king doesn”t seem ready to step down anytime soon, though, so it may be decades before anything changes.”
He realized in that moment that what would be better for Taveris—staying here for as long as he could—and what would be better for the kingdom—Caleen becoming a king sooner rather than later—were at odds with each other.
And while once upon a time, the Prince Heir”s life seemed like a dream, Zaryen wouldn”t switch places with Caleen for anything in the world, now.
”When you find whatever it is that gives you fulfillment, I”ll gladly support you in any way I can,” he told Meveris.
The steps of the main building weren”t the ideal place to make such a promise, given that they were out in the open and visible from every direction, but Zaryen didn”t want to hold the words back.
He didn”t want to hold anything back when he was with his companion.
”Likewise.” Meveris turned to face him, halting them both. ”I can only hope that both of us will be able to pursue our interests with abandon. I can”t wait to discover and explore things with you, and to support your passions, whatever they might be.”
Zaryen”s heart seemed to expand in his chest as his breath got stuck in his throat.
Neither of them had said ”I love you” yet, but this… This was like another bonding promise, a wedding promise.
From the very first time he”d seen Meveris, Zaryen had known they were forever, and he hadn”t doubted it for even a second since then, but still… There were these moments when his heart broke open, spilling the wildest and the most delicate things, and it was fine, completely fine, because Meveris was right there with him, doing the same.
Unable to form words, Zaryen pulled him into a kiss, trying to put everything into a press of lips against lips. It was never going to be enough, of course, but he was happy to keep trying for the rest of their lives.
And when Meveris circled his arms around Zaryen”s waist, bringing them even closer, Zaryen”s heart settled, safe in the knowledge that he would never, ever, be trying alone.