Page 15
The mind alignment and bond connection didn”t sound like any subject Zaryen had ever been tutored in, but he couldn”t wait to explore it. It was the first class on their schedule, and one that was held separately for every companion pair, which only piqued his interest.
Their teacher, Master Mandryell, reminded Zaryen of one of his mother”s cousins. He had a short, graying beard and his hair was pulled up high. While he looked older than most of the Academy staff Zaryen had seen so far, he seemed much younger when he smiled, except for the crinkles by his eyes.
He offered them seats on the large pillows shaped like legless chairs leaning against the wall and facing the big windows. Since this classroom was in one of the main building”s towers, the view was beautiful up here—the yellow, sandy ground gave way to the green fields that spread almost as far as the horizon. It was rare to see such vast green land in this part of the kingdom, so it was definitely a treat.
Zaryen couldn”t wait to see it from up close, too, once they were allowed to go out flying.
”Is there anything troubling you?” Master Mandryell asked after he took his seat on the much smaller pillow in front of them, about half-way between them and the windows.
While the question seemed gentle, it still rattled Zaryen that his state was so easy to read. He did feel out of balance ever since he”d left the dining hall and headed here. He”d tried to distract himself and focus on anything and everything, like the art on the walls as they walked through the halls, the teacher”s appearance, the view from the windows… All to try and calm himself.
”I apologize if I seem unfocused,” he finally said. ”I”ll concentrate on the teachings, I promise.”
Master Mandryell tilted his head. ”I wasn”t suggesting you”re unfocused or unprepared for our meeting. I can tell your main points of focus are firm. I meant that question as I worded it.”
Zaryen didn”t know how to respond to that.
”I see that I only caused you more confusion, which wasn”t my goal at all, so let”s move on. First, I”m going to tell you a bit about what our meetings are going to be about and what you may expect. These are not the lessons you may be accustomed to from your former learning environments, which is why I find it especially important to set up the right expectations and perhaps mitigate some of the issues that might have developed otherwise.”
Master Mandryell looked between them as he talked, and his calm voice managed to relax Zaryen enough so that he leaned back against the pillow seat.
”Then, I”ll tell you what I”d like you to pay attention to, here and outside of our meetings, as you start recognizing the traces of your connection, which in time will become more and more present, more available. The tethers may or may not be harder to notice, it depends on the bond you share.”
”The bond you share.”
Zaryen liked that. Many people avoided calling the connection between the companions a bond until after the bonding ceremony, which seemed wrong to him ever since he”d seen the spark around Meveris for the first time.
”Can you tell us what you”re thinking, Zaryen? There are no good or wrong answers, I”m simply asking for the truth as you currently see it.”
Unsure again, Zaryen glanced at Meveris before meeting Master Mandryell”s gaze.
”I thought that I appreciate you calling what we have a bond, as it sits well with what I”ve felt right from the start,” he said. ”It”s already a bond, and I don”t understand why there”s a distinction, nor why the bonding ceremony is on the next full moon, which feels like a very long time between now and then.”
Master Mandryell nodded. ”You”re correct that the bond already exists—if it didn”t, there would be no spark, as that”s the first mark of recognition. The bonding ceremony isn”t about creating a bond, but about accepting it fully and sealing it, which anchors the bond in a profound way. But you”re also correct in that some people shy away from calling the connection a bond before the sealing of it. While in most cases, it”s simply to underscore the tenderness and sensitivity of the bond in the early stages of recognition, it can also be used to draw attention to the choice that both companions are making. Two people need to agree for the bond to be sealed, and two have a choice to say no to it, as well.”
Zaryen”s stomach rolled, and he reached out for Meveris”s hand without looking.
”Your visceral reaction to such circumstances is what most people experience, which is why there are hardly any refusals,” Master Mandryell said.
”But it does happen.” Zaryen”s voice was barely above a whisper now. ”Even after…?”
”There”s been a few cases in our history, but thankfully, not many of them.” Master Mandryell clasped his hands in his lap. ”Sometimes people are put to tests that are about other things than the bond itself, and the outcomes differ. You had your challenges, too, and you came out of them with your bond being your focus. Not everyone does.”
”If they”re too afraid to have what they want, can their decision really be called a choice?”
”Ah, the question that many asked before you and many will after you. There”s not an easy answer to this, and maybe it will not satisfy you, but as it stands, we believe that we”re doing our best to ensure everyone who comes here has a chance to make whatever choice they wish in whatever situation they find themselves in. Then, we honor them by accepting their decision.”
Zaryen wanted to argue, to insist that nobody would ever willingly give up something like this—
Meveris squeezed Zaryen”s hand and, when Zaryen looked at him, he shook his head. It was barely noticeable, he moved his head a fraction of a scale in both directions, but the meaning was clear.
Let it go.
Zaryen slumped in his seat, putting his free hand on his stomach as if that could stop it from rebelling at the mere idea of someone refusing the bond after finding his companion.
”I understand that”s a painful topic, and one that”s perhaps the most difficult to imagine from the point you”re currently at,” Master Mandryell said. ”If you want to discuss it further with me at some point in the future, we can make time for it, but for now, I”d like us to return to here and now, and the singular bond we”re here to focus our efforts on.”
As both Zaryen and Meveris nodded, the teacher continued.
”Mind alignment and bond connection may feel confusing at first, so I”ll try to explain it to the best of my ability, but you”re welcome to ask questions later on if anything I say is still hard to grasp. Like I mentioned, our meetings aren”t classes in a traditional sense but more of a guided exploration of what both of you already share. Once you learn the basic concepts, you”re going to be the experts on your own bond. I will merely be assisting you in understanding it further and answering questions along the way. Each bond is different and, while there are general expectations of how the tethers may strengthen and develop, there”s no single pattern to strive for. The tethers do not develop equally, and each couple finds their own balance of those different threads. You may have heard that companions learn to communicate mentally through verbal, visual, or distinct emotional clues, and this depends on which tethers are the strongest in that particular connection. However, please remember that communication on that level is usually reached in the fourth year after the bonding. Nobody expects you to develop it now and neither should you.”
Zaryen glanced at Meveris, who seemed focused on Master Mandryell, but then turned to him and offered him a small smile.
This is what we have ahead of us, Zaryen thought in wonder. This is what”s still for us to gain.
”In the early stages,” Master Mandryell continued, and Zaryen reluctantly looked back at him, ”you may start sensing the small bouts of connection—usually it”s emotional resonance, a way of knowing what the other”s feeling. Disjointed thoughts, like a verbal message, are rarer, and visual clues even more so, as they tend to start developing later.”
”We”ve definitely had a few instances of emotional resonance,” Meveris said. ”There was a moment once or twice when I thought I knew what Zaryen was thinking, in his words, but I didn”t ask to be sure.” He met Zaryen”s gaze. ”How about you?”
”Emotional resonance, yes, definitely. I”m not certain about words, because it might have been my interpretation only, but… maybe?”
Master Mandryell tilted his head. ”Interesting. Can you expand on this? Perhaps with an example?”
Mine. Yours.
Zaryen bit his lip. Both he and Meveris stayed quiet, perhaps hesitating for the same reason—such transference usually happened in emotionally charged moments, and those weren”t easy to talk about, especially with someone who was practically a stranger.
”I”m not trying to pry into your personal lives,” Master Mandryell told them, clearly guessing what their problem was. ”However, I hope that we”re going to build mutual trust as the time goes on, because it will definitely help with the process. I can assure you that whatever personal stories you may share with me, they will stay in this room, unless they involve immediate danger to you or other students. In those cases, I”m obligated to act in a way that can assure everyone”s safety.”
”It”s nothing like that.”
”Good. Then, like I said, it will stay between us. My goal isn”t to know things just to know them, but to gouge how stable the tether is and in what circumstances. For example, usually, the stronger the emotion in one person, the bigger chance the other person has to read it. Directing a feeling or a thought at one”s companion also makes it easier to read. Sometimes, certain emotions are clearer than others, too, and this vastly varies among the pairs or even inside the bond. One person may see sadness more clearly, while another picks up fear with more ease. In general, dragons have an advantage here, at first, as certain emotions create the physiological reactions they are able to sense in everyone, even outside of their bond.”
Zaryen swallowed a sigh, but he either didn”t hide it well enough, or Master Mandryell was used to humans reacting badly to hearing that, because he shook his head.
”It”s not to say that a human doesn”t pick up clues from his companion. Not at all. I specifically said ”at first”, because while dragons in general retain the sensory awareness advantage in comparison to humans, it evens out between the couple as the bond strengthens and develops further.”
”Is there anythingthe human offers that the dragon may benefit from?”
The words were out of his mouth before Zaryen could stop himself, and he flushed instantly as both dragons stared at him for a long moment.
He really wasn”t showing up at his best in this class, was he?
”Of course,” Master Mandryell finally said. ”The bond isn”t one-way and always serves both sides of the connection. And while higher sensory awareness is one of the things that a dragon brings to it, it”s never their strongest offering, if one is tempted to judge the connection this way.”
”I didn”t mean—”
”Would you consider me unworthy of you if I weren”t as strong or if my senses weren”t what they are?” Meveris cut in.
”No, of course not! It”s not about you. You”re everything I”d want, and it has nothing to do with your strength or your senses. It”s me that”s the problem. I feel…” Zaryen squeezed his eyes shut. ”Inadequate, I guess. I lucked out even getting here, and now you have all these abilities and I”m just—”
”You”re just everything I”d want, too.” Meveris put a hand on the side of Zaryen”s face and tilted it so that, when Zaryen opened his eyes, their gazes met right away. ”I don”t feel our bond or our relationship is lacking in any area. Do you?”
”No, but you deserve everything. I want to give you more.”
Meveris brushed his thumb over Zaryen”s cheek.
”I already have more than I thought I”d get. Let me have this much, okay?”
”Of course.” Zaryen leaned his face into Meveris”s hold. ”You have it. You have me.”
”And that”s all I want from you.”
Swallowing hard, Zaryen nodded and moved slightly forward, only for Master Mandryell to clear his throat.
Both Zaryen and Meveris froze.
Wind”s curse. They forgot they weren”t alone.
”I”m glad we have that issue sorted for now,” Master Mandryell said as they pulled away quickly and turned back towards him. ”How about we get back to discussing the tethers, shall we?”