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Cecily

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Three weeks later

“Shishiiiii, ball...” Joseph laughs, pointing to my belly, which is already rounded at this point.

He doesn’t know that in a few months he will have a sibling, but even so, I put his little hand on my belly to feel them and tell him that there is a baby inside the “ball,” as he calls it.

“The bond between you two is incredible,” Elina says. “During the short time that Sue was alive, I studied her relationship with Joseph. There was never this attachment between them.”

Joseph gets up to get a car, and I lower my tone.

“They say children sense when they are loved. From everything I know, she only saw him as a means to an end.”

The whole family knows the truth now. Before the sordid story hit the newspapers, we gathered everyone together and told it in detail. Soon after, it was reported by the media around the planet.

I thought Dionysus would hush up the scandal involving his ex-wife and Keith’s death, as well as Cage’s role in everything.

That’s not what happened, and I imagine what it must have been like for the man to be in the eye of the storm, but I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that I was pleased.

Justice has finally been served for Keith, as everyone now knows who Sue was. It doesn’t matter that they’re both dead; it’s never too late to do the right thing.

“You don’t look happy, Cici.”

“Because I’m not. Dionysus is taking the time I asked of him literally.”

“He’s respecting your space, but he’s orbiting you, if you hadn’t noticed. There isn’t a sneeze of yours that he doesn’t know about.”

“I miss him, but I don’t want to play the needy fool anymore, Elina. I value myself too little.”

“I know all about low self-esteem, friend, and I’ll tell you one thing: if loving is, above all, giving yourself the right to choose, what’s the point of sticking to a plan, proving that you can live without it, if deep down you’re suffering?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t you at least speak on the phone?”

I shake my head, signaling no. “Just over text messages, but tomorrow I have an appointment with the obstetrician. Last time, before we separated, we didn’t get to see the sex. Maybe we’ll find out this time.”

“Don’t you think you should allow him to be there?”

“I don’t know how to take the first step without looking weak.”

“Do you consider loving a weakness?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay. I don’t want to pressure you.”

Hours later, when she leaves, I don’t call Anderson to come get Joseph. Instead, I pick up my phone.

I tremble when I touch the screen where the name of the man I love appears.

It rings several times, but no one answers.

He knows it’s me and doesn’t want to answer? Has he already forgotten me?

Seconds later, my heart skips a beat when I see his name light up on the display.

“Hello?”

“You called me? Is everything okay with you and the baby?”

“Um... yes, yes. I just wanted to know if today it will be you or Anderson who fetches Joseph.”

He remains silent for a while, and I know the reason: until now, I haven’t invited him to come, and as Elina reminded me, Dionysus has been respecting my request that he keep his distance.

“Is that what you want?”

“Um . . .”

“Cecily.”

“Yes, I want to discuss a doctor’s appointment that I have tomorrow. I thought maybe you’d like to go.”

“I’m coming now. We will talk in person.”

He doesn’t give me a chance to say no, hanging up.

On the floor, where he plays with little soldiers, Joseph looks up at me and smiles, as if he approves my attitude.

“I love you, my beautiful one. I’m just scared of acting weak again, but I love your dad.”

I open the door and forget to breathe.

Every day, when we turn on the TV or access social media, we see handsome men.

Models, actors.

There are several representatives of male beauty spread across the four corners of the planet, but for me, none of them hold a candle to my Greek.

I’ve always felt breathless around him since the first time I saw him, but today he seems even wilder. The tormented eyes, the long, disheveled hair, contrasting the perfectly tailored suit.

Those beautiful eyes watch me seriously, but with great hunger too, and my knees weaken.

I feel dominated. He hasn’t even entered yet, and it seems like he occupies the entire house. He’s everywhere. He’s everywhere in me.

“You can’t change your mind,” he says, misinterpreting my silence, I think.

“About what?” I pretend I don’t know what he means.

“About wanting me here. I came because you called me. I won’t leave.”

“I don’t want you to leave . . . now. But I’m not ready for it to be permanent yet.”

He takes a step inside. “Where is Joseph?”

“Sleeping. I called you because I have an appointment with the obstetrician tomorrow. I think we will be able to find out the sex of our child. Wanna come?”

He closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, I see the rawest emotion in them. “Thank you for that.”

“For letting you participate?”

“For not stopping me.”

“I thought nothing could stop you.”

“From being with my child, no, but he hasn’t been born yet and I wouldn’t force my presence on you. I don’t want you to be tormented but rather to have a peaceful pregnancy.”

I feel a shudder of fear.

Is he getting over me? His words demonstrate that. As if all that matters is the baby’s wellbeing.

“I have no intention of stopping you,” I say, trying to save my pride. “I’ll send you the appointment time via text message. I have to check because I don’t remember.”

He nods, moving away from me. “I’m going to get Joseph,” he says, and I give him space to enter. “As for the appointment, I’ll come and pick you up. We’ll go together.”

The little boy is asleep on the couch, and when I see Dionysus take his son in his arms, I panic.

I don’t want them to leave yet.

“Do you . . . huh . . . want something to eat?”

“Are you on the menu?”

For a moment, I think I didn’t hear him right. He seemed so controlled, so self-possessed, but now he looks at me with a primal hunger.

I can’t form a single sentence, and he starts walking towards the door.

“Don’t ask something you’re not ready to hear the answer to, Cecily.”

After that, he leaves, leaving me shaking.