Page 45

Dionysus

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

“Is this a kidnapping?” she tries to joke, but I know she’s very nervous.

“What if it is? Don’t you think it’s a little late to be afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” she says, looking out the window as Anderson drives.

I don’t think she realizes how transparent she is and how anxious she is at the moment. Seeing her so nervous makes me want to protect her because I think I know why.

I’m not the type who appreciates mysteries. Secrets usually irritate me, but with her, I’m making a concession, considering our current situation, her youth, and most of all, her inexperience.

Cecily has gone from a simple existence in Kansas to living in high society, and even though we haven’t been out in public as a couple yet, it’s still a drastic lifestyle change.

She is strong, I have no doubt. She went through hell in her childhood and adolescence—beatings, hunger, and loneliness—and still manages to smile and have love inside her.

However, there is a lot of vulnerability in her as well.

“You told me you wanted to talk,” she says.

“And we will, but not now.”

“I don’t understand. Why did we leave, then?”

I pull her toward me with a hand on the back of her head and take her mouth in a slow kiss. Normally, a simple touch is enough for us to be burning for each other, but today I want more than to fuck her. I want her candor and trust.

She is tense at first, but soon she loosens up, turning her body a little to make me feel better, placing her chest against mine, almost straddling my lap.

When we break apart to catch our breath, I cup her face. “You don’t want us to appear in public yet, but I’m going to take you on a date anyway. You are my girlfriend. If we don’t go to a restaurant, the restaurant will come to us.”

For the first time all night, she smiles. “A surprise?” Her face is relaxed, completely disarmed.

“Do you like them?”

“Good surprises, yes.” She leans her head against my hand, trying to get more affection. “What about our conversation?”

“Later. We’ll have time.”

She doesn’t say anything else. She rests her head on my shoulder while her hand rests on my leg, making imaginary drawings.

Minutes later, it’s still quiet, and I can’t understand the reason for the silence. Cecily is vibrant and happy. She’s not acting in her natural way today.

“Why so quiet?”

“I’m thinking.”

“Talk to me.”

“Why do you want to be with me? You could have any woman you wanted. Why get into this complicated mess?

“I don’t give up on what I want just because it’s complicated.”

“You know what I mean.”

Anderson parks in front of one of my penthouses in the city, across from Central Park. It’s close to Zeus’s old house, where he lived before marrying Madison. It is furnished, and I bought it as an investment. I was going to sell it, but I decided, after Cecily refused to go out in public, that I would bring an entire restaurant here for her.

“Yes, I understand,” I say. “What I can’t understand is why you seem to be almost rooting for me to give up on you. Don’t you know that this will only make me chase you even more?”

“As a challenge?” she asks, sounding angry. In fact, I get the feeling she’s longing for a reason to fight.

“As the woman I want.” I get out of the car, feeling a little pissed now.

She’s sending mixed signals. She seems completely involved sexually but is closed off from anything else.

I go around to open her door, getting ahead of Anderson, and help her out. I hold her hand and head to the elevator.

“Isn’t this a residential building?”

I nod, without speaking. Inside the elevator, I know she’s watching me, but I don’t look back, trying to calm down.

I have a hell of a temper, and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.

Chasing her doesn’t bother me. Seeing her try to sabotage us is another story.

Cecily approaches me and puts her hands on my chest. “You’re a dream. That’s why I feel so scared.”

“What?”

“Staying with you is like living a dream. A kind of fairy tale I never expected to happen to me. No, actually, one that doesn’t happen to girls like me.”

“Because I’m rich?”

“No. Because we belong to different universes. In your world, women and relationships are disposable. I’m a country girl. No matter the new haircut and clothes Elina gave me, I’m still a country girl from Kansas, Dionysus.”

“I don’t care where you came from, how much you have in the bank, whether you’re experienced. I care about what I feel when I’m inside you. What I felt from the first time I entered you. You’re right when you say that in my world, relationships are disposable, but if that were the case, we wouldn’t be here now.”

“And what are we doing here?”

The elevator stops, and I guide her in silence.

The penthouse door opens, probably because Anderson warned them that we were coming up. A waiter greets us, welcoming us.

Cecily halts, looking at me with a question on her face.

I don’t say anything, placing my hand on the small of her back and guiding her into the apartment.

Like a good girl, she lets me take her to her seat at the long, rectangular table, which is covered with rose petals and two candlesticks with lit candles in the center. Rigidly, she waits in silence, sitting, until I get comfortable. “I don’t understand. Why go to all this trouble?”

“Why not? You don’t think you deserve it?”

She opens her mouth and closes it again, but I know the truth. Cecily has low self-esteem, the result of years of being treated as inferior. She believes she should be grateful for anything, as if being accepted and loved is a favor people do for her.

The waiter comes to tell us about the menu, giving us all the options, worthy of a three-star Michelin restaurant, which is what I hired.

I wait for her to choose. I’m not interested in food or drink, only in her. I’ve realized that I was acting as if Cecily were a woman within my reach, with whom I only had sex, and even though it all started like that, because of the crazy passion I had always felt for my son’s nanny, my desire for her hasn’t decreased, which normally would have already happened.

I want to understand why, but beyond that, I want to find out how far we could go together.

“That’s not it,” she finally replies.

“That’s exactly it. You expect us to fail, that at any moment I’m going to send you away.”

Her face transforms into anger. She is upset. “Your record is not that good.”

Minutes later, when the waiter returns, she seems oblivious to me.

I notice that she asked for orange juice instead of accepting the wine he offered. She remains tense while he serves the drinks and the starter, very focused on the glasses and plates, while I, like someone obsessed, try to decipher her.

“Are you hungry, Cecily?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong, then?”

“Nothing more than what I said. Your past, when it comes to women, is not good. I don’t believe in a drastic change overnight.”

“You can go,” I tell the restaurant employees. “I will serve us myself.”

She looks at me in amazement but says nothing.

I watch them leave, confused, and only when I’m sure we’re alone do I speak again. “Want to talk about the past?” I ask sardonically. “What do I know about yours, besides the little you gave me? You didn’t even tell me the name of your dear best friend, the man who made you change your life. Why so much mystery, Cecily?”

She becomes as pale as a blank sheet of paper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You said my history with women is shit. You’re right. I could never be considered a Prince Charming, but I’ve always been one hundred percent honest, and I’m being honest with you too. Can you say the same?”

“Are you accusing me of something?”

“No. If I distrusted you, you wouldn’t be so close to my son, my family.”

“So, what is this about?”

“It’s about you throwing it in my face that I just want to fuck you, and yet, when I try to show that it’s not just that, you sabotage us. I have no patience for childishness. You’re a grown woman. Decide what you want.”

“Or what? Are you threatening me?”

“I don’t threaten. I act. Threats are made by weak people.”

“What if I say that what I want is not you?”

“I’m not going to have you arrested, even though I’m sure you’re lying. You do want me. Really, you want too much, but you’re a coward. You’re afraid of getting hurt. You prefer to live in the background, where they always left you.”

“I don’t prefer it, I?—"

“You got used to no one seeing you. I am here. I see you, I want you, and yet you’re too insecure to deal with it.”

“Because I don’t believe you want me. You think I’m pregnant. That’s why we came here. Tell me the truth at once.”

“Can you handle the truth? Well, here we go: if you’re pregnant, we’ll get married. Otherwise I’ll fight for full custody of the child in court.”

“You’d have the audacity to stop me from seeing my son?”

“Don’t be dramatic. You’ve been with me long enough to know that we Kostanidou value family. What I’m telling you is that if you think you’re going away with one of my children, living in Kansas or anywhere else, allowing me to see them only on scheduled visits, you have no idea who I am.”

“You’re saying that if I’m pregnant, I won’t have a choice. We will stay together, even if you start to hate me. Even though you didn’t want me around from the start and even though you despised me.”

I close my eyes, the certainty that something is being hidden from me increasing. “Why would I hate you?”

She gets up from the table. “It doesn’t matter. This conversation is useless. I’m not pregnant.”