Page 102 of Secret Mission

But I don’t get up.

My skin tingles when she rubs a slow circle over my back. The skin delighting in the feel of her bare fingers.

She’s only touched my arms and my cock before. Maybe my thigh when she was pleasuring me. But this touch is everything.

Comfort. Compassion. An intimate connection that never comes from a one-night thing.

“You know, I didn’t think about this part of your tattoo being a name. I just thought it meanthope.”

Acid slices across my tongue and down my throat. “No, it was my fiancée's name.”

God, that hurts to say.

“You want to tell me about her?”

That stinging spreads. A band tightens around my chest as terrible memories claw their way around the inside of my hollowed-out soul.

I exhale. Try to think of where to start. But nothing feels right. So, I just drop the bomb and pray for survival.

“Hope died because of me.”

Allison doesn’t stiffen. She doesn’t inhale swiftly. She just leans against me, her hand continuing to make gentle circles across my spine. “How did it happen?”

This part is much harder. Bracing for the worst reaction possible, I close my eyes.

“It was a climbing accident. She fell. Because of me. I made a mistake that cost her life.”

She kisses my shoulder.

Silence swings in on an ominous cloud, chilling the space around us.

We just think for a long minute.

Then she breaks the tension. “Like you said, it was a mistake. That has to be hard, but I know you didn’t do anything to harm her on purpose.”

I shake my head, staring at the floor as all of the moments before the fall that killed Hope play out in my head. “I was negligent. Fucking cocky.”

“And it was an accident. And a mistake.”

“It still shouldn’t have happened.”

When I don’t go on, she gently takes my hat off my head and tosses it on the bed.

I sit up when she comes to stand in front of me.

Gathering me against her, she tugs me forward, settling my cheek against her stomach. Both hands smooth over my back.

Voice soft, even melodic, she says, “You can forgive yourself. But it’s up to you. I can’t force you to do it, but I know this with all my heart. You deserve to live knowing you’re a good person.You’ve proven it to me, and I’m going to make it my job to prove it to you.”

Swallow.

Jaw hinged open, I close my eyes under the assault of feelings.

God.

I can’t even breathe.

Stroking her hands over my back, she murmurs, “I’m right here.”