Page 22 of Secret Bratva Baby (Dubrov Bratva #16)

Our fight was brutal and left me heartbroken.

I was waiting for him to tell me that he loves me, not to smother me in meaningless gifts. Is that all I am to him?

Does he think I just want shallow things—a physical, but empty relationship, the void of whatever love is lacking to be filled by material gifts?

I’ve never been someone who would choose money over love. I thought he knew me better than that.

It’s been two days since our fight, and all I’ve done is avoid him. I desperately need someone to talk to. Anyone who might be able to give me clear insight into my clouded thoughts.

Right now I’m sitting upstairs in one of the sunrooms. I’ve been here for an hour.

Just staring out the window, my body too heavy to move.

Lily is playing on the floor quietly, oblivious to what I’m going through because I insist on doing everything in my power to keep her safe from my pain.

She crawls across the carpet, pushing a toy truck, her dragon teddy catching a ride on the back of it.

While she moves about, she’s making little car noise.

I smile at her. What is best for her? What is best for me?

Should I leave?

What am I supposed to do?

Could I stay here, even if he didn’t love me, and endure an empty relationship for the sake of my child having a good life? It would be so unfair of me to take all of this away from her. But what would I be teaching her if I chose to be lonely so that we could enjoy his wealth?

I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who could guide me or give me advise. It’s times like these that not having a family weighs heavily on me.

I’ve thought about talking to one of his sisters. Jade is sweet, level-headed, and very kind to me. But they are his family. Of course, they would take his side. His sisters would be obligated to stay loyal to him, making choices that would be best for him.

I sigh, lifting one of the throw pillows and setting it on my lap so that I can fidget with the cream colored tassels on each corner.

I tug at the string, biting my lip.

“Mommy, look,” Lily calls out, showing me the ramps she made using a book and some of her building blocks. She scoots the truck onto it and over the edge.

“Wow, don’t crash,” I smile.

I feel terrible. I’m not even in the right frame of mind to be a good mother to my daughter.

I have to speak to someone.

The only person I can think of who is really getting good advice from is Tania.

She’s amazing at looking at situations without emotions clouding her advice.

She has a knack for seeing them for what they are instead of what I might want them to be.

But the last time I called her, they traced it and raided the safehouse.

That’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Unless there is some other way I can get around it.

It’s another sleepless, stressful night.

By the morning of the third day, I’m desperately miserable, and I decide to call her. I’ve thought about it long enough that I’m confident I can do it without putting anyone at risk.

Instead of using a cell phone, I can use the house phone, which has security programs and firewalls stopping people from being able to hack into it. I can talk to her without worrying that someone can trace it to my location.

It’s almost ten in the morning when I pull up outside Jade’s house. Lily was invited to a playdate at Jade’s place. Mila is also there with Jade’s kids and Aly, and I’m so happy for her to have some children to spend time with.

“Hello, sweetheart.” Jade hugs Lily as she runs into the house.

“Hi, Rose. Are you ready for a relaxed day by the pool?” she says, holding the door open for me.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t stay.” I pull my mouth to the side.

“What? No, you have to. We’ve made cocktails. Mila will watch the kids. We can tan and relax. We really wanted you here, too. I just assumed you were definitely coming.” She pouts her lip out.

“I’m so sorry.” I laugh. “I have some things I need to do, and I never get a chance to get things done with Lily and Luka around.”

Jade rolls her eyes. “Okay, yes, I understand. It’s probably the first free day you’ve ever had,” she chuckles.

Luka is at work, and this might be the only chance I really have to talk to my friend.

And I really need this.

“Exactly.” I smile at her. “I can come by after I’m finished. Maybe there will be some cocktails left over.”

She scrunches her nose. “Don’t count on it. But we can always make more.”

As I walk back to my car, I let out a sigh of relief. I’m happy she didn’t make a bigger deal out of it. I wanted my excuse to sound as natural as possible so that I didn’t ring any alarm bells—I don’t want her calling Luka and asking him what’s going on.

I drive fast back to the house. There’s no way to know how long he’ll be at the office today, and I don’t want to miss this opportunity.

When I get home, he isn’t there, so I go straight to his study.

Sitting at his desk, I dial my old office number and ask the receptionist to put me through to Tanya, not giving my real name. I can’t remember her direct number by heart, but this works just fine.

Tanya answers with her usual professional tone until she hears my voice.

“Tania speaking, how can I help you?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Rose?” she gasps. “Is that seriously you?”

“It’s me,” I giggle, already better just hearing her voice. It reminds me of the familiarity and warmth of her friendship.

“Where have you been? What in the world is going on?” she laughs.

“I’ve got a lot to tell you. The truth is, I badly need my friend right now.” I sigh.

“This doesn’t sound good.” Worry taints her voice. “Rose, you actually sound terrible.”

Her sympathy chokes me with tears. I’ve been trying to hold myself together for Lily’s sake, but in this moment, I realize just how broken I am. Tania has been a support system for me for years, and in front of her, I don’t have to be brave.

I try to speak, but I can’t.

“Rose, no, you’re crying—honey, what’s going on? Can you come see me? Come and have a coffee with me—let’s talk face to face.”

I take a deep breath.

I have a car. Lily is safe. I could sneak away for an hour or two and meet her.

It has to be somewhere safe, though. I bite at my lip.

“Um. Okay. Can you meet me at the coffee shop on Main Street, the one with the blue doors? What is it called?” I ask, picking the most public, open, popular place I can think of.

“Of course. The Mint Sparrow. What time?”

“That’s the one. Can you meet me now?” I say, hopeful.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Relief washes over me. She’s even willing to sneak out of work to be there for me.

“Thank you. I can’t wait to see you.”

When I walk into the coffee shop, I have a new sense of awareness that was never there before. I take note of where people are sitting, how many people are around, who looks suspicious, things like that—things that I would never have paid attention to before learning what I know about the mafia.

I walk up to the table. She’s grinning at me, standing to greet me.

I hook my purse over the back of my chair, and Tania pulls me into a tight hug. I let myself melt against her, needing this hug so badly.

“You look exhausted,” she says, scrunching her nose at the sight of me, holding me at arm’s length to study my face.

“Okay, go easy on me,” I laugh, tucking my hair behind my ear as I pull the little chair out and sit down.

“I’ve already ordered you the usual. Hot chocolate and a cinnamon roll.”

“I’ve really missed you,” I grin.

“You have a lot to fill me in on—you said something happened with your family, but girl, I know you don’t have family, so what was that about?

Then I couldn’t even call you back on your phone; you just disappeared.

You'd better start from the beginning and tell me what in the world is going on with you.”

I let out a deep breath, rolling my eyes. “It’s a lot to try and explain, so bear with me—"

She nods, leaning back in her chair to get comfortable.

And so I tell Tania about Luka, the man from my past, my little girl’s father—she already knows I lost touch with him all those years ago—but she’s shocked when I tell her he basically kidnapped me to keep me safe.

Her mouth pulls tight, but she waits patiently for me to tell her everything, including my struggles of being madly in love with him—and not knowing how to handle it.

We’re on our second cup of hot chocolate by the time I’ve managed to get the full story out. It feels so good to talk about it so openly, knowing I can trust my friend. A massive weight has been lifted off me, and my thoughts are so much clearer.

“I think you have Stockholm syndrome. He’s brainwashed you,” Tania snaps, looking upset.

I laugh. “No, it’s not like that. He’s a really good guy.”

“Rose, he’s dangerous ,” she hisses under her breath. “You need to get out of there. They’ll give you your job back at the office. The new girl sucks. They want you back anyway. We can find you a new apartment, or you can come stay with me in the meantime.”

A frown etches into my face.

Tania is offering me the logical thing a friend would offer. A way out of a situation that’s making me miserable.

But while she’s talking, a realization hits me, making me laugh loudly as happiness spills into my chest.

“What’s so funny?” Tania says, stopping mid-sentence to ask.

“Just talking to you made me see things clearly,” I say excitedly.

“See what?” She mutters.

“I’m such an idiot. All this time I’ve been holding back, waiting for him to tell me how he feels. But that’s stupid. I could have told him any time that I wanted to. Why was I waiting?” I beam at her, and she still looks confused.

“I get it now. I was scared to take a risk.” I throw my hands in the air.

“But I just realized that everything to do with falling in love is a risk . I have to take a leap of faith and tell him I love him. The worst he can do is say he doesn’t feel the same, but at least then I know.

It’s better than saying nothing, not taking the chance—and losing him.

” I stand up, already eager to get back home to Luka. My heart is racing.

“Wait,” she stammers.

Leaning over the table, I grab her in a hug. “Thank you so, so, so much. I’ll call you later to tell you how it went.”

“Rose—” she looks horrified, her mouth hanging open.

“Trust me. It’s going to be okay. You’ll see.”

Grabbing my purse, I leave a very stunned Tania at the table.

I’m walking with excited energy pulsing through me. I’m ready to face all of it. The past rejection. Being ghosted. I’m ready to trust that he never wanted that, that he really did it to try and keep me safe. I’m ready to let it all go, and it’s such an incredibly liberating feeling.

The street is quiet around me when I reach my car. I parked away from where people could see me. It’s safer to stay out of sight as much as possible.

Pulling the key from my pocket, I drop it as a man bumps into me. I’m shocked because it makes me realize I was so excited to get home that I wasn’t even watching where I was going or who was around me.

“Oops. Sorry,” I mutter, smiling up at him.

But my entire body goes rigid with fear when I see his face.

He’s unmistakably mafia.

“Hi, Rose,” he says coldly.

I turn to run, but there is another man behind me.

If you can’t run, fight. You know how.

But just as I think this, three more men climb out of the car that’s pulled up in the street next to us.

I scream, but before the sound escapes my lips, a hand is slammed over my face. “Get her in the car.”

I kick hard at the man in front of me, catching him in the knee. He grunts in pain and snarls in anger. “I’ll fucking kill her.”

“They want her alive—get out of the way or help me get her in the car.” Two men are working together to lock me down while a third holds the car door open.

Despite my best efforts, despite fighting with my entire being, terrified I will never see my daughter again, I am not strong enough to take on all of them. As they throw me into the car, they pull a bag over my head.

The world goes dark. My heart is beating too fast. Anxiety and adrenaline are flooding me. I want to cry.

Panic grows thicker inside me.

I’m in the backseat, pressed between two bulking men. I have no idea where I’m being taken. I have no idea what terrible fate lies ahead of me. But I cling to one, tiny hope. They want her alive . The words loop and loop in my mind. I let them circle, over and over again.

They want her alive.

If they want me alive, then maybe it will give Luka enough time to find me. I have to believe he can find me.

***

We drive for a long time, the bag over my head making it hard to breathe, and I’m claustrophobic, stuck between these men.

When the car comes to a stop on what sounds like gravel, I breathe a sigh of relief. At least I can get out of the car.

The door opens, and someone tugs me out.

I trip, stumbling, unable to see where to put my feet.

“Stand up,” someone snaps.

“Don’t treat her like that. You promised not to hurt her,” Tania’s voice is thick with worry.

“Tania?” I whimper, my heart sinking. I have to be wrong.

“Shut up and get inside,” a man growls.

“Please, Uncle Boris, you promised .”

“One more fucking word, girl—I told you to get inside.”

It is Tania, but what’s going on?