Page 50 of Second Chance Fate (Hope Falls: Brewed Awakenings #5)

Damn, she’d forgotten to tell him about that, too. Owen knew the trial was supposed to start today.

“Actually, yes, but that’s not what I was going to talk to you about. The trial was postponed.”

His brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Medical reasons.”

“Medical reasons for who?”

“Martin.”

Owen exhaled and leaned back in his chair. “He’s not sick.”

“I know, but he still has his ankle monitor, and there’s only so much time they can drag this out. At some point he will have to face his day in court.”

His eyes cut up to hers. “Will he?”

“I mean…I hope so.” She wasn’t going to promise him. How could she?

“Okay, well, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, yeah…” She was so flustered. She hadn’t expected to get sidelined by the talk about Martin.

“Um… it’s a talk I think you’ve always wanted to have.

” She took a deep breath and did her best to calm her heart, which was racing a million miles a minute.

She wasn’t sure why she was panicking, why there was so much adrenaline rushing through her.

Her nervous system had kicked into full fight or flight for some reason.

She tried to swallow, but her throat was dry, so she took a drink and then set her cup back in the holder.

“Do you remember when you asked me in kindergarten who your real dad was and I told you that I met him on the beach and I didn’t know his name? ”

Taylor felt like her chest was on fire, and her breathing was coming in choppy, shallow pants.

“Mom, your chest.” Owen hopped up from the chair, and before she could say anything, he disappeared inside the house.

She closed her eyes and was breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth when she heard the back door close. When she opened her eyes, Owen was standing in front of her with a damp washcloth. She took it and pressed it against her neck and décolletage.

“Thanks.” She tried to take a deep breath, but she only managed to get a very short, shallow inhale.

“It’s fine, Mom. Just breathe.”

“Sorry, I should be the one making sure you’re okay.

I don’t know why I’m…I don’t know why this is so…

” She exhaled and forced herself to push through this panic attack.

This wasn’t about her; it was about Owen.

“Sorry, like I was saying…” Her mouth went completely dry again, and she couldn’t get the words out.

She picked up the lemonade to take another drink.

“Are you trying to tell me that Caleb is my dad?”

As the liquid went down her throat, she choked. She managed to put the cup back in the holder and lean forward. Her eyes were watering like a sprung hydrant as she tried to recover.

When she finally managed to clear her airways, she croaked out the choppy question, “Why would you say that?”

The corner of the left side of her son’s mouth curled in the confident and too-wise-for-his-eleven-years half-grin that she was sure he’d inherited from his dad, just like the dimples, as he casually and matter-of-factly stated, “Because he’s my biological dad.”

“Why do you… How did you…” Taylor’s head was spinning as she lowered the cloth from her chest. “When did you know?”

“Since I was six.”

“Six?!” she exclaimed.

He nodded.

“What? How?”

“When I was in the hospital that time I had pneumonia in both lungs, you fell asleep holding the picture you hide in your purse, and I looked at it.”

Taylor stared at Owen in disbelief, her jaw metaphorically on the ground.

She had no clue he knew about the photo strip she hid in the lining of her purse all these years.

She knew exactly what time he was referring to.

Martin’s behavior had gotten progressively worse since the first incident roughly a year and a half earlier.

She felt guilty because she was relieved that Owen was hospitalized, so she would have a reason not to be home.

She’d taken the photo out of her secret hiding spot, sewn into the lining of her purse, just to remember the last time she’d felt safe, but she’d fallen asleep because she was exhausted.

A nurse came in to take Owen’s vitals, and she woke up with the strip in her hand.

She’d been so relieved that it was the nurse who woke her up and not Martin, because if he’d ever discovered her with the photo, she honestly wasn’t sure she’d still be here.

“I remembered you told me that you met my dad in Daytona Beach, and in the pictures above your heads, there was a sign that said Daytona Beach. And then I turned the picture over, and it said Caleb on the back, so then I knew his name.”

“So all this time, you’ve known that Caleb is your dad.”

“Yeah, when we moved here, I figured that he was why. I mean, I didn’t think you just closed your eyes and picked a random spot on a map for us to go. Then I saw the DNA results and knew for sure.”

“You saw the DNA results?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“How? How did you know I even tested you?”

His head tilted to the side. “Mom, you said you needed a mouth swab to check for allergies. I mean, come on. And then I saw the email when I was in the kitchen and you were at the table. You closed it, but I saw it. When you took a shower, I looked at it. But even if I hadn’t, we look exactly the same. ”

“But I don’t…why didn’t you say anything?”

She felt tears brimming in her eyes. Her chest was tight. She didn’t know why it was making her so emotional that he’d known this entire time, but it was.

For the first time in Owen’s life, she felt disconnected from him.

She felt like he didn’t trust her. She did see the irony that she’d been so scared that he would feel betrayed by her, and yet she was sitting there feeling some kind of way over him keeping her in the dark.

It was ridiculous, and she knew that she was wrong for feeling it, but that didn’t make it any less true.

Owen didn’t respond. Instead, he just looked down, staring at his hands. His cheek hollowed as he bit the inside of his mouth. He did that when he was thinking, so she didn’t rush him.

He had always been a thoughtful child. He was very intentional with his words.

His therapist told Taylor once that his ability to take the time he needed to process so he could articulate himself accurately impressed her.

She went a step further, saying that he’d mastered the art of that form of communication more than any other patient, adult or adolescent, she’d ever worked with.

So as badly as Taylor wanted to know what he was thinking, she bit her tongue and sat in silence to give him a safe space to express himself.

Finally, he lifted his head, and his eyes found hers.

She was immediately struck by the clarity she saw reflecting back at her.

In that moment, she knew that, for better or worse, she was going to know what was in her son’s heart, even if it broke hers.

Her fingers wrapped around the armrest of the chair as she both emotionally and physically braced herself.

He took a deep breath, and as he exhaled, his shoulders relaxed. “I guess there were a few reasons I never said anything. When we first got here, I didn’t tell you I knew because I wasn’t sure I wanted him to be in our lives. It wasn’t about him; I didn’t trust anyone.”

She couldn’t blame him for that. She’d felt the same way.

“Then, I got to know people who knew him, like Mr. Santino, Nonna, and Miss Cindy. They all said he was a good man, and I believed them. After that, I guess I was just waiting for you to tell me when you were ready. I thought you might tell me when we went to church. I even brought home the program and tried to give you an opening.” He grinned.

She remembered that. “Right, when you said everyone thought the picture was you.”

“That was true.” His smile widened. “They did say that.”

“But, I still don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me that you knew.” Her head shook back and forth as she tried to wrap her brain around Owen’s thinking.

His posture changed; he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. “When I was in kindergarten, I saw all the dads in the class opening doors for the moms, and Martin never opened your door. I promised myself I would always open your door.”

Taylor nodded even as her heart broke. She hated that her son had this weight to carry, that he’d ever been put in the position to feel like he’d had to be the man to protect her.

“You know I can open my own doors; that’s not your responsibility.”

He nodded. “I know you can open them, but I don’t want you to have to, not when I’m there.”

She wasn’t sure what to say to that. Guilt ate at her, but she knew this wasn’t the conversation to address that.

“Anyway, that wasn’t the only promise I made to myself that day. I promised myself that I would never treat you the way he did.” He looked up at her and reiterated, “Never.”

“Okay.” She was still confused, not sure how that equated to him not asking her about Caleb.

He must have seen that because Owen continued, “Martin told you where you could go, when you could leave, what you could say, what you could wear, what you could eat, who you could talk to… You had to do everything he wanted, all the time. You didn’t matter.

Your feelings didn’t matter. You had no say over your life.

I promised myself that I would never be like that.

So, I wasn’t going to make you tell me about my dad until you were ready to tell me.

I didn’t know the reason you weren’t telling me, but I did know that you love me.

And I did know that the only reason you stayed with Martin was because of me?—”

“What?” Taylor had never said that she’d stayed with Martin because of Owen’s health to Owen. “Why would you say?—”

“Mom, stop.” He spoke with a quiet calm beyond his years. “I’m not stupid. I know that you would have left, that we would have left years before we did if we didn’t need his health insurance.”