9

“ Y ou want me to lie?” Odessa dropped her spoon into her ice cream dish and stared at Thane. Her memories might have flooded her mind like a tidal wave smashing against the shore and curling its massive wave down over the beach. But there were some gaps. Lapses in time and space. She’d see something or hear something, and the blanks would fill in. She hoped that would happen soon with the deaths of her friends.

Jenna told her she had to be patient. That if she tried to force it, they wouldn’t come. Or she could have false memories. Odessa didn’t want that.

She also didn’t want to sit in Thane’s house, have a fake conversation, and lie right through her fucking teeth. “You hate liars.” She lowered her chin and glared. “You’ve always preferred the truth to even a white lie.”

“You’re exaggerating and this is different than you trying to make me feel better when I had to cut off all my hair.” He ran his fingers across the top of his head. “However, I can’t imagine growing it back now.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it would be a good look on you. It would age you and make you look like a fool trying to be cool.” She sat up taller and smiled. “How’s that for a dose of honesty.”

“Much appreciated.” He shook his head and chuckled. “You know this isn’t the same thing.”

She absolutely understood that. But it didn’t change the fact she would rather Grant think she was still clueless. It made her life easier. At least until they figured out what happened to poor Chrissy and Sylvia.

God, she couldn’t believe they were gone. Or that she might have seen what happened and couldn’t remember. Tears burned the corner of Odessa’s eyes. Ever since her memories returned, she could barely keep the tears at bay. They came in hot. And fast. Her eyes felt like sandpaper. Thane had drawn a nice hot bath for her and she soaked in it until the water turned to ice. She cried until there were no tears left, and then she sobbed some more.

But nothing could ease the pain in her soul.

“I get the difference, but I don’t have to like it.” Odessa picked up her spoon, filled it with ice cream, chocolate, and caramel syrup, and plopped it in her mouth. “I don’t know why we’re trusting Rufus. He’s Grant’s lapdog. Does whatever he says, whenever he says.”

“I believe that’s changed. And you told me on the walk over here that the last few months, Rufus hasn’t been around as much. Both you and Rufus mentioned this guy Heath Fender. He gives you a bad vibe and Rufus says he’s a loose cannon. That he was given a less than honorable discharge from the military. I’ve got Lincoln looking into that, among other things.”

Odessa shoved her ice cream across the table, leaned back, and folded her arms. Jenna had told her to categorize her memories. To mentally put her first eight years in one set of folders and file them away. Then put everything up to when her parents died into another filing cabinet, but not to lock them away. Keep the drawers slightly open and ready when she needed to draw on those memories either for comfort or something else.

The rest, she needed to leave open and at the ready. However, they needed to be organized, and Odessa was still working on that. Her mind was still a kaleidoscope of images smashing into each other while she tried to pluck out the meaning of her life. “I don’t really know Heath. I’ve only met him a couple of times.” She tried to pull up those memories. They were few and far between, but something prickled her skin. There was something she was forgetting, but she couldn’t figure out what that was. “I understand what you’re trying to do and appreciate it. But you’re asking me to lie about something really big and because I can’t remember, it feels even worse.”

Thane reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m asking you to be vague. I don’t want you to come out and accuse him of doing something he didn’t. But I want him to believe you know more than you do. If he comes after us more than the listening devices in my home, then we’ll know we’re onto something. If he doesn’t, then you can enjoy telling me I was wrong for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t get why I’m being banished to my cousin’s house,” Gayle said, breaking her silence. She hadn’t said anything most of the evening. However, she did smack Thane in the shin with her cane when he’d dropped the news. “Tonight. As in twenty minutes from now, Lynn is picking me up at this stupid ice cream shop, I can’t believe I don’t get a say in this. I should really hurt you with this cane.”

“If flying wasn’t too hard on you, I’d put you on a plane to California.” Thane lowered his chin. “Asher can’t come out here right now and trust me, I asked.”

“Your brother and his family will be here for a month this summer. He does what he can.”

“Ma, I’m not judging Asher and his life decisions. He has a wife, two kids, and a massive winery that needs his attention. He’s a good man. A good brother. And a better son. He'd be on the next plane if I told him I had to have him at my side.” Thane wiped his mouth and tossed his napkin on the table. He and his older brother didn’t always see eye to eye on things. There was a ten-year difference and sometimes Asher pulled the older, wiser brother to the point that Thane tuned him out. Odessa had seen that firsthand.

Whether Thane wanted to admit it or not, he’d felt abandoned when Asher went to college. And not just any university. Asher had the nerve to move to the West Coast and he never came home. Nope. He fell in love and got married at the ripe old age of twenty-two.

Poor Thane had only been twelve and he thought he lost his best friend. That’s when he and Asher slowly grew apart.

However, in the last few years, Odessa had learned that Thane and Asher had grown close. Real close. That age gap seemed to have disappeared.

She suspected that had a lot to do with their mother and her illness. And then their father’s death.

“But we don’t know who killed Chrissy and Sylvia and I need to know if Grant had anything to do with it. Until we figure all that out, I need to know you’re safe. It’s temporary and you and Lynn always have a good time when you visit.”

Gayle leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. She smiled that sweet, genuine smile that made everyone in her presence feel warm and fuzzy. “I know all you’re trying to do is take care of me. To do right by your mama.” She patted Thane’s hand. “You’ve always done your best to please your dad and me, to make us proud, and you’ve done that in spades. I have no problem going to Lynn’s house for a couple of days while you deal with this situation. It’s how you manhandled it. I hated it when your father did that.” She cocked her head and narrowed her stare.

Oh, Odessa remembered that look. Gayle gave it right before she was about to lay down the hammer and ground Thane for a week.

“You have always been more like your father. You’re the spitting image of him and you have his quiet resolve.” Gayle lifted her finger and wiggled it when Thane tried to open his mouth and speak. “Asher is more like me. He’s quick to speak his mind. Maybe too quick. He and I say what we think exactly when we think it, whereas you took on your father’s trait of letting it settle into your gut. Sometimes that’s a wonderful trait because you’re logical and not emotional. But other times—because things fester—they get twisted. They eat at your insides like acid and that logic turns into a fireball of emotion.”

“Ma, do you have a point in this ramble?” Thane asked.

“I do.” Gayle nodded. “Right now, you’re in that weird bubble between logic and irrational emotions. I know this because whenever you’ve wanted me to do something you’re not sure I’ll be on board with, you sit me down and have a normal conversation. What you did tonight was what your father used to do when he was afraid his work with the US Marshal Service would spill over into our nice cozy family life. I’m not a child. I understood that what your father did could be dangerous. I never once asked him not to do it and I’m damn grateful that’s not what killed him.” She lifted her hand. “But I hated it when he didn’t speak to me like his partner and I don’t like it when you speak to me like a child. I’m your mother. And I’m a person. I demand to be treated that way. So, next time, you will tell me what’s going on and I will agree to go see my cousin. Got it?”

Odessa covered her mouth, trying to stifle a full-on belly laugh. She sat there, staring at Gayle during that speech. And it was a damn good speech. It reminded Odessa of so many from the past. Like the time Thane’s father had been gone for a month on a special project. It was Christmastime and Gayle had decided to climb up on a ladder and hang the lights. Thane was pissed. He told her he’d do it when he got home. But he only had four days leave from the Marines and the first night he had every intention of spending it with Odessa.

When he got to his mom’s house and found her on the ladder, he had some choice words. But the best part was he’d climbed halfway up, snagged her right off the wood plank, and plopped her on the Adirondack chair as if she were weightless.

Odessa understood his concern, because of her disease. But Gayle was right. He could be an ogre. Controlling, but not manipulative. Thane was definitely a straight shooter and when it came to his mama, his concern for her well-being outweighed his good judgment.

“What the hell is so funny?” Thane asked, glaring, although the right corner of his mouth twitched, as if he wanted to smile but couldn’t bring himself to do it because that meant he had to admit his mama was right.

Another interesting trait about Thane that tickled Odessa’s fond memories. Thane was the kind of man who had no problem admitting he was wrong in most cases. But this was the kind of situation he wouldn’t bow down to because he was right about how, for the time being, it was best for Gayle to go visit her cousin.

But he was dead wrong for how he handled it.

“You.” She lifted her foot and pushed his gently under the table. It was something she would have done in the past.

When they were together.

But it felt genuine in the moment.

“This.” She waved her hand. “Gayle. The whole thing. Nothing’s changed. At least between the two of you. You’re having the same argument you’ve always had.” Her parents would be so disappointed in how her life turned out and not just because she’d lost the insurance money and sold the family home.

But Odessa had lost herself.

A guttural sob got caught in her throat. She swallowed. Hard. Her entire world was upside down. She didn’t know what was worse.

Not remembering her entire life.

Or remembering and realizing how she’d fucked it all up.

And knowing two of her friends—her only friends—were gone and it was her fault.

Her laughter turned into a sloppy cry as a couple of tears dribbled down her cheeks.

Thane stood, made his way around the table, and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her shaking body. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. One second I’m back in high school and the next, I’m remembering my friends are dead,” she choked out. Images of her running through the dark woods. Running from something… or someone. The wind howled. It called to her. Odessa, you can’t hide from me. More flashes of that night blinked in front of her eyes. It was like lightning illuminating the world during a blackout, giving you a glimpse into what was out there, but only for a second. It wasn’t enough time for you to really see much of anything. To know if what was in front of you was dangerous or safe. But deep down, she knew her life hung in the balance. That someone was out there—chasing her—and they wouldn’t stop until they caught her.

She rubbed her ring finger. “I know I gave Grant the ring back. How did it end up?—”

Thane gently pressed his finger over her lips. “I gave you that information in confidence. Weston would have me behind bars for that one, so let’s not discuss it out in public,” he whispered. “Nor will that be something we mention once we’re home. We need to stick to the script. Can you do that?”

Odessa nodded.

“Thane,” Gayle said. “I hate to interrupt at a time like this, but Lynn just pulled up. We should get my things from your truck.”

“I told Lynn to meet us in the parking lot.” Thane kissed Odessa’s temple. His lips were soft. Warm. They sizzled against her skin, sending shock waves to the rest of her body.

It wasn’t a sexual kiss. The only meaning behind it was comfort. But it reminded her of so many other things, like… she jerked her head back.

Huh. That was a memory that hadn’t flooded her mind right away.

Interesting. It was like she’d tucked that indiscretion in a safe and threw away the key. The guilt she felt at the time bubbled to the surface, only to be squashed down by the harsh reality for the reason she’d left Grant the first time.

And the dumbass reason she’d taken him back.

What a fool she’d been.

That was only compounded by the fact that she could clear as day hear Thane whisper, I love you. I will always love you, in her ear that fateful night about seven months ago. He’d been so kind. So sweet.

Five days later, she told him she was going back to Grant. The look on Thane’s face had nearly destroyed Odessa. It broke her heart—destroyed her soul.

But what was she supposed to do?

Grant had tricked her into selling her family home and Grant had a firm foothold on her money, which she now knew he’d slowly stolen from her, like he stole everything.

Thane helped her then his mother to their feet. He took his mom by the elbow and laced his fingers through Odessa’s. “Since I promised both you ladies I’d be open and honest, you should know that Weston and Haven texted me right before we sat down.” He guided them down the corner and into the parking lot, where there weren’t any people.

At least not that Odessa could see.

“What did they have to say?” Gayle asked.

“Some of it’s not good,” Thane said. “Grant’s really going for the Odessa being a violent person angle.”

“That’s bullshit. I never threw a bottle at him.”

“It’s more than that.” Thane squeezed her hand. “It’s about those text messages and other lies Grant is spewing. But the good news is the judge gave Weston the warrant for Grant’s phone, tablets, and computer.” He paused near Thane’s vehicle. “Weston also mentioned he’s got some other things going on related to the case. He wouldn’t go into detail, but he says some things are happening.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.” His mom took the suitcase Thane handed her and tugged on the handle. “I assume there is some kind of protection detail on me and Lynn.”

“I put together a rotation between some of the guys at search and rescue and my buddies at Parks and Recreation. I’ll send you the schedule so you’re not surprised.” He leaned over and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Want me to roll this bag?—”

“I’m perfectly capable of doing that.” Gayle patted the side of his face. “You make sure you take good care of Odessa. There’s a bunch of leftovers labeled in the fridge and fresh cookies in the cookie jar.”

“Thanks, Mama. I love you. Have a great time with Cousin Lynn.”

Odessa stood—holding Thane’s hand—and watched as his mother, slightly hunched over, tugged her suitcase on wheels across the parking lot. Lynn raced across the pavement and hugged Gayle as if they hadn’t just seen each other a few weeks ago.

Huh. Odessa knew that.

She knew a lot of things.

“Grant has been having an affair with Leslie Anne for months.” Odessa grabbed Thane by the shoulders. “I don’t have the kind of proof someone needs to shove it in his face. But I know Grant. I know how he operates, and Leslie Anne has been slowly changing everything about herself. The way she dresses. The way she does her hair.”

“Leslie Anne is his alibi for Friday night, but he specifically told Weston that nothing happened between them until that night. That he couldn’t do that to you.”

“Bullshit,” Odessa said. “Think about it for a second. For years, he used Brown Technologies for all his IT stuff. That was the company his father used and they are reputable. Bradley took over for his dad about ten years ago and he’s expanded. He’s one of the best in the business. Why would Grant fire Bradley and hire Leslie Anne? Her company was new. She didn’t have many clients. She wasn’t a known person in the industry.”

Thane pulled open the passenger door of his truck. “How long did you know about Grant and Leslie Anne?”

“I suspected the last couple of months.” She climbed up in the cab with her heart in her throat, unable to look at Thane. Shame filled her soul like the rising tide.

“Why did you stay with him?” Thane said under his breath before shutting the door and jogging around the front of the truck. Once behind the steering wheel, he sighed. “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand. I know I shouldn’t push or judge or say a single word just because you got your memory back. You’ve been through hell and the last thing you need is me jumping down your throat.”

She reached out and curled her fingers around his biceps. “I don’t have a good reason for staying. I can’t explain it without sounding like a fool. Or feeling like one.”

Thane pressed the start button and revved the truck engine. It roared like a lion. “You’re not a fool and I don’t mean to make you feel that way.” He pulled out of the parking lot and headed back toward the small neighborhood outside of town.

“You know I remember everything about my life,” she said softly. “Including when I broke up with Grant the last time.”

Quickly, Thane glanced in her direction with an arched brow. “What does that have to do with Leslie Anne and what we were talking about five minutes ago?”

“Leslie Anne’s company took over for Bradley’s about that time. I was living in my parents’ house, but Grant was pushing me to sell and move in with him.”

“I remember.” Thane nodded. “And you sold it during that week we spent together.”

“No. Grant sold it.” She glanced out the window, twisting her hair. “Bradley was insulted by what Grant did. But he didn’t need the business. Leslie Anne, on the other hand, well, that was her first big gig. It pretty much put her on the map. Grant told me he gave her the job because he felt bad for what she’d gone through.”

“You’re talking about her divorce?” Thane flipped on the blinker and turned down his mother’s street. “I heard the settlement she got from that was over a million.”

“It was.” Odessa nodded. “But money doesn’t make up for having your husband leave you for another woman.” She waggled her finger. “Not everyone can have an ex-wife who is honest about what they want in a marriage and asks for it before cheating.”

Thane laughed. “Yeah, Tonia is something special.”

“You broke my heart when you married her.” Odessa hadn’t meant to blurt that out.

“And you broke mine when you went back to Grant.” Thane pulled into the driveway. “We’ve got only a couple of minutes before we have to put on a good act for the listening devices. So was there a point to this Leslie Anne thing?”

“Yeah.” Odessa nodded. “Is anyone looking into her finances? What she’s done with her investments lately? Her bank accounts? Who’s listed in her business? Does Grant have anything to do with it? Better yet, is anyone looking at Grant’s money situation?”

Thane took her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Yes to all of it.” He leaned in and brushed his lips firmly across her mouth. It sent a hot shiver down her spine. It was the kind of heat that made a woman’s clothes magically fall off her body. From the very first kiss they’d ever shared at the ripe old age of thirteen, he’d always been a magical kisser. Tender. Loving. Passionate.

This was no different.

His tongue grabbed a hold of hers, swirling. Twisting. If she allowed herself, she could get lost right here in this moment. She’d never have to return. Never have to face reality.

But what good would that do her?

She pressed her hand against his chest. Her breath hitched. She was caught somewhere between wanting to be lost in his arms.

And throttling him for being the man he’d always been. A good man with a strong sense of right and wrong and a bigger need to right the wrongs.

“You’re looking into my finances too, aren’t you?” she whispered.

“No, actually, I’m not.” He ran his thumb across his cheek. “If you hadn’t regained your memory, I would have. But now I can ask you that question.”

“Why haven’t you—asked that is?”

“I didn’t want to do so in front of my mother,” he said softly. “You know I don’t keep secrets from her, but that’s your business, not mine or my mom’s. I didn’t want to upset you and you’ve only been out of the hospital for less than a day. Had your memories back less than that. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“But you’ll shove your tongue in my?—”

He pressed his finger over her lips. “Don’t make that disgusting and don’t pick a fight with me because you’re upset over something that has nothing to do with me.” He cocked a brow. “You know I can’t stand Grant. I haven’t since middle school. He’s an arrogant prick. But I think he’s worse than that. I think he had a hand in what happened to Chrissy and Sylvia. Rufus doesn’t want to believe it—and frankly, I understand why. Weston and Haven have to straddle the line between being a cop and what information they can actually feed me. Another thing I totally accept. But right now, I’m struggling with why you’re waffling. We know he’s trying to paint you as a violent person. He’s lied about text messages that you never sent him. Somehow, the engagement ring that you gave back to him managed to end up at the crime scene.” He lowered his chin. “I don’t understand why you’re mad at me.”

She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s not that I’m angry with you.”

“Then what is it?”

“When I came to you months ago, I never expected to sleep with you, much?—”

“Are you kidding me?”

“All right. Maybe I did. But you jumped right to relationship mode and told me you loved me. That you would always love me. That was too much. I didn’t know what to do with that.”

“It didn’t matter because you went back to Grant.” Thane dropped his hand. “I won’t ever regret loving you. I’m sorry that my timing sucked. I agree I was out of line.”

“And I was using you.”

“I’m aware.” He palmed her cheek. “It’s all in the past. All that matters now is figuring out what happened.”

“Did you know that no one lives in my parents’ house,” she said softly.

“I did notice it was empty. But I figured maybe they were going to do some remodeling.”

“I asked Grant a few times about who bought it, but he’s blown me off. So has the real estate agent.”

Thane took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. “I’ll ask Lincoln and his wife to look into it.”

Odessa bit back another sob. She hated crying. Before she let Grant into her life, she was a strong, independent woman. She made decisions for herself. She lived her life without reservation. Without apprehension. While she knew crying didn’t make her weak, it felt as though it had become a way of life the last few months. As if all she had were the tears on her pillow. “I never wanted to sell. I told him that. I told him I would break up with him if he listed it and he went behind my back while I was with you and did it anyway.”

“Oh, now I know why you’re mad at me.”

“No, Thane. I don’t blame you.” She grabbed his arm. “He was going to sell the house from under me whether I left him or not. I just gave him the opportunity because I was staying here with you.”

Thane cupped her face and held her gaze. “I’m not going to let him hurt you ever again.”

“Are you going to kiss me again?”

He smiled. “I want to, but Jett’s across the street staring at us and we do need to go inside and feed wrong-ish information to Grant before Lincoln shows up.” He glanced at his watch. “In forty minutes.”

“Before we go inside, I want to thank you.”

“There’s no need for that.”

“But there is.” She ran her hand down the side of his face. “I haven’t been very nice to you since I went back to Grant.”

“No, but in all fairness, if I were him, I wouldn’t necessarily support you being kind to me or hanging out with me either.”

“Maybe not. However, you wouldn’t forbid it.” She leaned in and kissed him tenderly. It was short. Nothing special. But she’d been the one to initiate it and there was intent behind it.

That mattered. At least to her.

“That’s true,” he said softly. “Are you going to be okay doing this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.” And she wasn’t lying about that either. Not anymore. She was ready to take down the man who had destroyed the woman she’d dreamed of becoming. The woman she planned on rebuilding.

The woman she wanted to be for herself.

And for Thane.

If he still loved her and if that kiss was real.