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O dessa stared at a man whom she was supposed to love. He was handsome enough with his perfectly styled hair. Freshly shaved face. And his fancy clothes.

But she found it odd that her first thought when she laid eyes on him was that he wasn’t Thane.

Her second thought was Grant reminded her of a cold fish. She expected this Grant person to waltz into the room, take her into his arms, kiss her passionately, and make her feel safe and warm.

None of that happened.

Instead, he stood at the edge of her bed with a death grip on the footboard as if she might hurl herself from the mattress like a possessed creature, stabbing him with a corkscrew.

Not to mention, there were no warm and fuzzy feelings on her part. Her blood raced through her system as if it were on fire—and not in a good way. Her skin prickled.

But why was she angry? Why did she want to tell this man to fuck off?

He inched closer to the side of the bed and took her hand. “You don’t remember anything?”

Her dry, scratchy eyes burned with waterless tears. “The only memories I have are from when I was found to this moment.” She stared at their intertwined fingers, searching for a hint of recognition. A fleeting sensation that would catapult her into a memory with this man. But all she got was a jolt of electricity and she wanted to yank her hand away. She wanted to tell him to get out. To leave her alone and to never come back.

But again, she had no idea why. She blinked, shifting her gaze to his almond-colored eyes. They had a coldness to them, even though they were pretty.

“So, you don’t remember our fight on Thursday? Or moving out?” He touched the side of his face, rubbing his temple by a small cut. A large dark-purple bruise covered his eye.

“I’m sorry. I don’t. What happened?” she asked, even though she wanted to know why he fixated on that and not her dead friends. On who attacked her. On who gave her a date rape drug. It seemed odd.

Grant glanced over his shoulder. “Is it okay if I tell her how I remember things?”

Odessa swallowed. Hard. Jenna had told her to hold on to every feeling. Every emotional reaction and file it somewhere in her brain. To think of these feelings as memories. So far, everyone gave her mostly good feelings. Or, at worst, a mixed bag of warmth and confusion.

Like Thane. Deep down, she knew she could trust him. Or should trust him even though a part of her felt like he’d somehow wronged her in life.

With Jenna, it seemed more like they sat on the opposite side of the cafeteria in high school.

Grant grated on her nerves. She didn’t trust him. Something told her that he would lie to get what he wanted. But he also made her heart beat faster. Gave her sweaty palms—out of fear. Her entire body warned her that this man was not who she wanted to be with, but she had no valid reason for believing that.

“Odessa, would you like to hear his version?” Jenna held up her hand when Grant opened his mouth. “I want to interject here that two people will experience the same event but could have a different recollection of what transpired. No offense, Grant, but your perceptions of any event are tainted by your point of view and your emotions. Odessa doesn’t have much to go on here and it’s obvious to me that whatever happened before the camping trip was incredibly emotional. So, it would be helpful if you could try to speak in facts and leave out any dramatizations, your personal feelings, or even commentary on what you believe Odessa might have been thinking or feeling at the time.”

“I suppose I can do that.” Grant pursed his lips. It was a strange look, and Odessa couldn’t be sure what it meant, but she believed his mind was turning over ways to control this situation.

Why she thought that, she had no idea.

Grant sat on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand, though she had to admit there was a distance between them. It wasn’t the same kind and caring gesture as when Thane did it.

“You see, we’ve been having problems for a while,” Grant said. “You’d become… unhappy with some things in our relationship, I guess is the best way to put it.”

“Grant, that’s interjecting Odessa’s emotions into the story,” Jenna said.

Odessa’s heart jumped up to her throat. It wasn’t out of fear, but out of jubilation.

It was as if it were celebrating Grant getting that one right.

Odd sensation.

He glanced in Jenna’s direction. “I don’t know how to keep this impartial. It was a difficult night.”

“I want to hear this,” Odessa said. “I’m okay with a little interjection.”

Jenna nodded. “Go ahead and tell her from your perspective.”

“All right.” He patted Odessa’s hand. “We had been fighting a fair amount about a lot of different topics. It was getting to the point that we fought every day and I was tired of it. I wanted to go to counseling. You refused.”

“I need to ask something,” Jenna said. “Are you sure that Odessa never sought counseling before?”

“Oh, she has. When her parents died.” Grant nodded like a bobblehead. “She saw one for a few months but then stopped going. When things started to get bad for us, I suggested couples therapy, but she refused.”

“When was that?” Jenna asked.

“About the time we sold her parents’ house.” Grant slumped his shoulders. “I thought it was too soon, though I did believe it was good for her to move out.”

“So, we broke up because I wouldn’t go to therapy?” she asked with a shaky voice. She resented that fear bubbling up into her words. That it was her entire state. Not knowing anything about her life was going to make her crazy. But the worst part was she didn’t believe a damn word he said.

“That was one of the reasons,” Grant said. “These last couple of months you’ve really struggled with your temper. You take your anger and frustration out on me. I’ve tried to be understanding.” He squeezed her hand. “You’ve been through so much.” He tapped his temple. “But this was too much.”

“I did that to you?” She sat up, leaning closer, squinting, trying to force a memory. Trying to pluck it from obscurity.

Nothing.

The only thing that registered was confusion.

And fear.

She believed that whatever was once between them was over. But what didn’t make sense was the slight tremble that filled her insides.

“Unfortunately, you tossed a wine bottle at me when I told you that you made a mistake by canceling a repeat customer to take on a bigger client,” Grant said. “After you hit me, I asked you to pack your bags and leave. You did. This is the first time I’ve seen you since then, but you have texted and called.”

“What have I messaged you?” Odessa asked.

“Nothing very nice.” Grant lowered his chin. “Lots of name-calling. Threats.”

Odessa solidly believed this was all a lie. But she honestly had nothing to back that up with.

“All I want for you is to get better. I will help you any way I can. I wanted to bring you some of your favorite things from home, only I don’t know where you took all your belongings.” He patted her thigh. “I’ve asked Weston to check around. If we find your stuff, I’ll make sure you get your things.”

“Thank you.”

“The police will catch whoever did this to you and your friends,” Grant said. “They’ve promised me they will have an officer on this floor at all times and once you’re released, they will make sure there is an increased police presence wherever you are. But I don’t trust that. I have a friend who owns a security firm. I’ve hired him. He’ll have a man here on this floor to make sure nothing happens.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s against hospital policy,” Jenna said. “He can’t stay.”

Grant frowned. “Okay. I guess the cop at the door will have to do. But when you come home, I’ll have a bodyguard.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I need to head back to work. I’ll be in touch later.” He nodded toward Jenna and then was out the door in a flash.

Odessa reached for her water and slurped on the straw. There was no base context for that conversation. And all she felt was relief that it was over. “Please don’t ask me how I feel.” She glared at Jenna. “Or what emotions I’m processing.”

“Unfortunately, that’s my job.” Jenna pulled the chair closer, sat down, and rested the patient chart in her lap. “My goal is to help you gain your memories. My concern is how those memories flood your brain and what that might do to you emotionally. Especially when it comes to what happened to you and your friends out there on that mountain.” Jenna glanced to the ceiling. “I also have to deal with the police. Two women are dead. You’re the key to unlocking what happened and you might still be in danger.” She pointed toward the door. “That’s why there is an armed officer at the door.”

“I have to wonder if I’m also a suspect.” Sucking down the last of the water, Odessa set the cup back on the tray.

“I’m not going to lie to you. The cops have no choice but to consider that,” Jenna said.

“You knew me before all this. Was I an angry person?”

“I didn’t know you well, and we weren’t friends. I have no idea,” Jenna said. “What I can tell you is that everyone gets mad.”

“Does everyone toss a bottle at their boyfriend?”

“That depends on what happened leading up to the event.” Jenna leaned forward, resting her elbows on the chart. “I want to do what is called reminiscence therapy. Thane will bring images from his mother’s photo album that represent a positive time in your life. Maybe we can stimulate some memories.”

“Why not start with pictures of me and Grant?”

“Besides the negative physiological effect he’s having on you? The night before you lost your memory, you and he had a life-changing event. I don’t want to trigger you into what happened. I know that’s what the police want, but you’re my patient, and I believe easing you into it is best.” Jenna flipped open her chart and jotted something down. “You’ve known Thane and his mom since you were a little girl. I’m sure he can find a photograph that will bring only joyful memories.” She closed the chart and lifted her gaze. “Don’t stress if it doesn’t happen right away. The mind is a powerful organ and there is a reason it doesn’t want you to remember.”

“Do me a favor and stop staying that shit. Especially the way you say it. Drives me crazy.”

Jenna laughed. “I don’t blame you. When I dated Thane, he used to tell me I sounded like a walking encyclopedia, and not in a smart way. I’ll work on it.”

Odessa’s heart thumped like a jackhammer. Jealousy coursed through her veins. It was strong. Powerful. Like a bull charging at a matador.

But why?

“You and Thane?” Odessa asked.

“That was unprofessional of me,” Jenna said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t be. This is one of the most normal conversations I’ve had since I got here. Will you tell me more?” None of this felt normal. Not that Odessa knew what normal was. She had no baseline for it. All she knew was uncertainty and darkness. Or maybe it was more like a Gaussian blur.

“There isn’t much to tell,” Jenna said. “I met him a few months after he came back to town. We went out a couple of times and quickly learned we don’t have much in common.”

“Is it weird that I don’t believe you’re his type?”

“No,” Jenna said. “But can you elaborate on that?”

Odessa dropped her head back and groaned. “No. At least not in a concrete way and what I see as the perfect woman for that man makes me look like a loon.”

“Like I said before, you’ve known him your entire life. You were close friends growing up. You dated. You definitely have an idea of who he’d be attracted to.”

“For someone who’s told everyone else not to hint at my past life on a regular basis”—Odessa rolled her head—“you’re doing a lot of that right now. I feel this isn’t a girl-to-girl chat, but a doctor trying to get her patient to remember something. Anything.”

“I don’t want the cops working you over trying to get information from you. I certainly don’t want Thane bombarding you with one-sided information.” Jenna waggled her finger. “Because that’s what he would do. I want to control a little bit how the information comes at you. Besides, I have nothing to gain. The cops? They want something from you. I get it. That’s important information and I want them to have it.”

“And Thane? What does he want from me?” Odessa held her breath. A flash of a faint image crash-landed like a fuzzy old motion picture in her mind. She could barely make out two images. Two young kids. They were maybe eight or ten. They were running in a field. Laughing.

And then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

It wasn’t enough of a memory to say anything. If it happened again, she’d tell Jenna.

“Ultimately, he wants you to be happy and safe,” Jenna said.

“I take it he doesn’t like Grant, does he?”

“There is no love lost between those two men.” Jenna nodded. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Does that have to do with me?”

“Not entirely, no,” Jenna said. “But now we have to circle back to your reactions to seeing Grant.”

Odessa sighed, dropping her head back. “I have no basis for this, but I don’t believe what he said about our breakup.”

Jenna stood, closing the gap. She flipped open the patient chart, thumbing through the pages. “I have your entire medical history here and I’m guessing you kept this from Grant.” She turned the chart, tapping her finger on one of the pages. “You stopped seeing a therapist a while back. However, on Thursday, you called and scheduled an appointment for next week. I find that interesting. If it’s okay with you, I’d like that therapist to stop by before I release you tomorrow.”

“Absolutely.” Odessa wanted to speak with anyone who could give her straight answers. “Can I ask you a crazy question?”

“There is no such thing.”

Odessa chuckled. “Where am I going to go tomorrow? I don’t think I want to go home with Grant and can I say no to him?”

“If you don’t feel comfortable going with Grant, I’m sure we can find other arrangements. I’ll speak to Haven and Thane about it.” Jenna hung the chart at the end of the bed. “Thane will be back up with his mom in a little bit. She’s a lovely woman. Until then, I want you to rest.”

“Thank you, Jenna.”

“If you need me, tell the nurses. They will get me.” Jenna nodded, then disappeared through the door.

Odessa lowered the bed a little, closed her eyes, and did her best to pull up the image of the two kids running through a meadow. Only this time, they were teenagers. The image was still fuzzy, but it gave her a sense of belonging. A sense of peace.

The boy had long wavy hair, almost to his shoulders. He paused, plucked a flower from the ground, and gently placed it the girl’s… in Odessa’s hair. The young man smiled before leaning in and brushing his lips over her mouth.

Odessa touched her lips. It was as if she’d felt it in real time. The warmth of that boy’s embrace. The safety net his love provided.

And it was love.

But was it a real memory, or was she channeling something she’d seen on the television hours earlier? Or was her mind simply torturing her because it needed something to fill the utter darkness and emptiness that had been created?

Whatever this vision was, she held on to it with all her might. She needed something that wrapped her heart and soul with hope.