Page 5

5

T hane paced in the hallway. He knew his mother could get in and out of a car service all by herself. While her autoimmune disorder was active, she was getting around well enough.

But he should have gotten in his truck, driven the fifteen miles, and picked her up himself instead of letting his mama talk him into eating a meal.

His stomach could have waited.

A deep familiar voice caught his attention. He paused and glanced over his shoulder.

Fucking Grant Mercer and hound dog Rufus.

Thane didn’t know which man was worse.

“I hear you’re the one who found Odessa.” Grant stopped five paces away. He wore a freshly pressed blue button-down shirt. Dark pleated slacks. Shiny fancy shoes. His hair was parted and styled like he belonged on the pages of a fashion magazine.

Even Thane had to admit that Grant was a handsome man. His only problem was he had no soul. No heart.

“And I hear you were with another woman.” Thane cocked a brow. He knew he shouldn’t goad Grant. But he couldn’t help himself. It kept him from sucker punching the jerk. That wouldn’t solve anything. It would only get Thane in trouble and a long lecture from his mother.

Neither thing he needed.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Grant shook his head. “You know nothing of my life or how things were with me and Odessa.”

“I know you’re an asshole who doesn’t deserve her.” Thane planted his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. He wasn’t normally one for pissing contests, but Grant brought out the worst in him. “I know you controlled every aspect of her life right up until she decided to take it back on Thursday. I bet you didn’t like that.”

Grant snorted. “Not that I owe you an explanation, but I’m the one who broke up with her. I’m the one who asked her to pack up and leave. She didn’t like it and she did this.” Grant winced as he pointed to his eye. “She sent me numerous threatening texts. I could show you if you’d like.”

Thane wouldn’t believe them even if he saw the time stamp. Grant was a smart man with way too much money. He could make things happen if he wanted to.

Besides, Odessa’s cell was missing.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here,” Thane said. “Or what part you had in Odessa?—”

“Stop right there, pal,” Grant said. “Don’t you dare go and accuse me of hurting Odessa. I loved her.”

Loved? He was already using the term in past tense? What an asshole.

“She was my world and I tried to hold on to our relationship. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You have no idea what I went through with her or how she’s changed. All I want to do is help her through whatever this is,” Grant said.

“You’re a fucking piece of work,” Thane mumbled.

“No, you are. You’re so blind with envy that you’re willing to come at me—allege that I could have killed two innocent women—instead of focusing on the real problem,” Grant said.

“Oh yeah. And what’s that?”

“Finding out what happened to those girls.” Grant let out a long breath. “The cops are clueless. Rufus and his men could figure this out faster.”

Thane eyed Rufus. He was ex-military with a decent record. He wasn’t the worst man in the world, but he seemed to have blind loyalty to Grant.

Something that Thane didn’t understand.

And he couldn’t stop Grant from hiring the man to check into things, if that was what he was really doing. “Just stay out of the cops’ way. They do know what they’re doing.”

“Oh really.” Grant laughed. “That’s why it took our local police department how many years to solve what happened to Winslet’s parents. Or how about Pandora’s rapist? Hmmm. Yeah. If our cops are so good at their jobs, why didn’t they arrest those idiots when those crimes happened?”

Thane wasn’t about to get into this argument with Grant, because it wasn’t the kind of argument he could win. Thane would not waste his breath. “Do what you have to but don’t fuck with the investigation and stay away from Odessa. She’s not your fiancée anymore.”

Grant inched closer. “That may be true, but she has nowhere to go and no matter what she said or did to me, I’m not going to let her walk out of here alone.”

Thane puffed out his chest. “You won’t have to. She’s staying with me.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Grant smiled and strode toward the main doors, which swished open as his mother wobbled in, thankfully using her cane.

Thane rushed to his mother’s side, grateful that all Grant did was say hello. “Let me take that.” Thane kissed his mother’s cheek and grabbed the tote bag. “Damn, Ma, what do you have in here?”

“A scrapbook, a couple of your high school yearbooks, and some home cooking for my Odessa. I made her favorite.” His mother’s lips curved into that all-knowing smile she had. Then she winked.

“Ma, no offense, but if Odessa doesn’t remember me, she ain’t gonna remember your lobster mac and cheese with your famous oatmeal vanilla chip cookies either.” He looped his arm around his mom and guided her toward the elevator.

“Speak like a grown man, for Pete’s sake.” His mother lifted her cane and waved it out in front of them. “You know how I feel about words like ain’t and gonna.”

He chuckled. “Those words are now in the dictionary.”

“I don’t care. They’re not proper and I raised you better,” she said. “I’d rather you swear like a truck driver.” She pursed her lips. “Which you do all the time anyway.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pressed the up button.

Thane had been what his parents called a miracle baby. His dad was nearly forty-five, and his mom had been thirty-six when Thane had been conceived. His folks had tried for ten years to have a second child. They’d done everything they could, including spending a small fortune, and they had all but given up when they found out his mom was pregnant.

When he’d been a small boy, he loved that his older brother was more like an uncle. He enjoyed all the attention from his parents for himself, and they lathered him in love. He soaked it up like it was sunscreen being spread over his pale skin on the hottest of summer days.

But as he got older, he often wished for a younger brother or sister. Or that Asher, his older brother, was closer in age. Not for his parents, but for himself, because there were times in his childhood that being the only kid at home since he’d been eight was damn fucking lonely. He loved his parents—and Asher. They were awesome. His folks attended every sports event. Every school event. They were by his side when it mattered—and when it didn’t.

Asher came home when he could. That was until he met his wife and took over her family winery out in California.

He loved his family more than he could ever express. He loved them so much that he had their names tattooed on his body—including his brother and his two boys.

However, the realization that they were all he had hit him hard. At thirty-eight, he didn’t believe he’d ever have children of his own. Not that it wasn’t possible—because he was the miracle baby—but because he’d first have to find the right girl and the reality was he’d let her slip through his fingers.

Ding.

The elevator doors slid open.

“I hope you’re not the one who gave Grant that black eye?” His mom stepped into the small space, turned, and glared. “I don’t care that he’s a jerk, I don’t?—”

“According to him, Odessa smacked him with a wine bottle.”

His mom grinned. “Well, good fucking for her,” she said under her breath.

“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel.”

“I just did.” She lifted her chin. “And since we’re on the subject, I’ll just say it. You belong with that girl.”

Thane pressed the button and leaned against the wall. In the past, he’d deny it. He’d tell his mom that Odessa had made her choice and he’d moved on.

Only, if that were true, he’d have a girlfriend.

“Cat got your tongue?” His mom poked his foot with her cane.

He laughed. “No. Just don’t feel like having the same discussion.”

“Does that mean you’re finally agreeing with me?” His mom lifted her chin, meeting his gaze. “And perhaps willing to do something about it?”

“She’d have to first remember me, and second, want to have something to do with me, and I fear the latter isn’t ever going to happen when her memory finally does come back.”

“Please explain why.” His mama raised her cane, and when she did that, it was always best to shut his trap. “And don’t go and tell me it’s because you both broke each other’s hearts at one time or another.”

“But it’s true,” he said. “She wouldn’t move away from Fallport. I was going from one base to the next, one deployment to the next, and she couldn’t handle it. That didn’t feel like love to me. Broke my heart, and I, in turn, broke hers when I married someone else.”

“Speaking of your ex-wife, I got a very nice phone call from her the other day. She was always so sweet. As exes go, she’s a good one.”

“She’s not the worst, that’s for sure.”

“Except for the open marriage thing.” His mother chuckled, shaking her head. “That, I will never understand.”

Thane smiled. “I did—do—love Tonia. She’s a good person. We just weren’t meant to be together.”

“Because you’re meant to?—”

“Let’s not beat a dead horse, Mama,” he said as the elevator doors opened. “Remember, Odessa won’t know you. She might have what the doctor is calling emotional memories—feelings tied to seeing you—but try not to bombard her with stuff from her childhood. Let’s pick one or two pictures and tell her a nice story about something from her past. Let her ask questions. We shouldn’t stay too long. She needs her rest.”

“You’re not going to stay here with her tonight?”

“Doc says it’s not a good idea.”

“Odessa needs you.” His mom wobbled down the corridor. She was a proud woman. She never complained. When her illness got the better of her, she put on a smile and continued with her day. If it got to the point she couldn’t, she shrugged her shoulders and still lifted her chin, telling him that there were worse things in the world. Her spirit was strong. Her resolve even stronger.

He tried not to let her see how much it broke his heart.

His father had died suddenly. Without warning. It had been a shock. He hadn’t been prepared. He never got the chance to say goodbye. He wouldn’t let that happen with his mom. Sadly, he knew her days were numbered. Her doctors told her she could have many years left.

But they might not be good ones.

“And I’ll be here for her.” He rested his hand on his mother’s elbow, guiding her toward Odessa’s room. A police officer diligently stood at the door. That was both good and bad. He was there for her protection.

But he was also there because Odessa was a person of interest.

A possible suspect.

That made his blood boil.

He nodded to the officer and opened the door.

Odessa turned her head and gave him a weak smile. She adjusted herself higher in the bed, arranging the blanket. “This must be your mother,” she said softly.

No hint of recognition. The only thing he saw was the perpetual sadness etched in her pale-blue eyes.

He nodded. “You grew up calling her Mama Gayle.”

Odessa squinted, raising her finger to her temple as if she were trying to extract a memory. Or at least that’s what he thought she was doing.

“I brought you some homemade food,” his mom said. “When you were in high school, this was one of your favorite meals.”

Thane rolled the large reclining chair over for his mother to sit in before setting the bag of food on the tray. He reached in and pulled out a sealed bowl.

“Is that lobster mac and cheese?” Odessa sat up taller. “I don’t remember anything about being a teenager, but something tells me I loved that meal.”

“You did.” His mom leaned forward, taking Odessa’s hand. “On game days, whether it be football or lacrosse, you’d come over and help me make this.”

“I wish I could remember just one thing about my life.” Odessa opened the lid and took the fork he handed her, shamelessly digging in and taking a massive bite. “Oh my God. This is delicious.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Odessa leaned back. Her eyes glassed over and she sighed. “Jenna keeps telling me to file all these emotional memories, and I do feel like I should know about this meal—about you—but I don’t.”

“Don’t stress over it, dear.” His mother smiled that sweet smile of hers. The one that used to make all his pain and sadness disappear when he was a small boy. “Thane, why don’t you pull out the scrapbook and show her some pictures.”

“Sure thing, Ma.” He set the bag on the other chair, sat on the edge of the bed, and opened the book to a random page. He chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Odessa asked.

“Me,” he said, shaking his head. “And my hair.” He lifted the book. “I’ll never forget the day I had to cut my hair when I joined the Marines. I don’t know who was more devastated. Me or you.”

Odessa dropped the fork. It first landed on her chest, then tumbled to the floor with a thud. She reached out with a shaky finger. “That boy is you?”

“I was almost a man in that picture.” He cocked his head.

“It was your seventeenth birthday,” his mother said. “That does not make for a man.”

“Close enough, Ma.”

“And that’s me?” Odessa yanked the book from his hand, shifting her gaze between him and the few pictures on the page.

“It is.” He tapped the page. “And that big guy is my dad.”

“Minus that unruly hair my son refused to cut, he looked just like his father,” his mom said with pride.

“I remember you,” Odessa said. “I mean, I don’t remember any of this. But that hair.” She traced her finger over the image. “I remember all that hair.”

Thane’s breath caught in his throat. His heart dropped to his toes. “What do you mean?”

“Earlier, I had this image pass through my mind. Actually two. One was of two young kids running through a meadow. But then it changed to an image like this one, only in the same meadow.” A single tear rolled down her cheek. “I know the girl in that field was me and now I know the boy was you. We were holding hands. You stopped and picked up a flower and put it in my hair. Then you…” She brought her fingers to her lips. “Was that real? Did I remember something?”

He reached out and wiped the tear away. “Yeah. You did.”

“Jenna told me we dated.” Odessa lifted the page but didn’t turn it. “How old were we and when did we break up?”

“That’s a long story and I’m not sure it’s good for me to bombard you with?—”

“Tell me. I need to know my history,” she said with a shaky voice. She stared at him with wide eyes filled with uncertainty and desperation. “Do you have any idea what it’s like not to know who you are? Where you come from? Or who to trust? I woke up in the woods, hurt, terrified, and with blood on me. I have no idea what happened to friends I don’t remember. Please, I need to piece together my life. I’m begging.”

“Why don’t you turn the page and see if it sparks anything while I go find Jenna and see what she says. She’s going to want to know you remembered something.”

“I’ll ring for her.” Odessa hit the nurse call button. “But until she comes, you’ll tell me a few things about my life. I don’t care what they are. But I want something concrete.”

“Okay.” He let out a long breath. He couldn’t go on torturing Odessa. It was cruel. Jenna could be mad at him all she wanted. He didn’t care. If Odessa wanted a few pieces of her past, he’d give her some good ones.

Odessa held her breath. Knowing she’d had one real memory wasn’t enough to make her a whole person. It didn’t even make her a real person. However, it did give her hope. So much hope her heart bristled with the kind of excitement that a small child experienced on Christmas morning. It was bursting with all the possibilities.

“I’m waiting.” She glanced between Thane and his sweet mother, Gayle. She had the kindest eyes and warmest smile. Something about her gave Odessa a sense of safety.

And belongingness.

It was the first time that Odessa felt as though someone didn’t want something from her.

While they treated her well, all the doctors still had an agenda.

The cops certainly had an agenda.

Even Thane had an agenda, even though he seemed to care more about her recovery than the man who claimed to have loved her enough to put a ring on her finger.

She struggled to believe she tossed a wine bottle at Grant’s face. She didn’t doubt she was angry. Heat prickled her skin the second he walked into the room. However, she didn’t see herself as a violent person.

Yet, she didn’t know one fucking thing about herself.

Oh, she liked that word.

But something told her she often refrained from using it and now she had to wonder why.

“You and I have known each other since we were babies,” Thane said.

“I’ve been told that but no offense, it’s not anything concrete. Tell me about our first date.”

Gayle burst out laughing.

Thane raked his fingers through his hair. “That wasn’t a date, Mama. We were nine. Not fifteen.”

“I don’t care,” Gayle said. “It was the cutest thing Samantha and I ever saw.”

“Samantha.” Odessa’s heart pounded with the painful memory. “That’s my mother, right?”

“Yes, dear.” Gayle shimmied to the edge of the seat and took Odessa’s hand.

“I can’t picture her; I just know that’s her name.” Odessa searched her empty brain for nuggets of her past. Her history. Her family. She searched every dark corner for anything.

And found nothing but the name. She couldn’t even attach it to her father’s name. Oh, wait. It started with a D . “Does my dad’s name start with a D ? Is it Dav… no, that’s not it.”

“It will come to you.” Gayle took her hand and patted it gently. It was so familiar. So loving. So warm.

An image filled Odessa’s mind. Distant and fuzzy at first. It was like a faraway mountain that she drove toward, but it was taking forever. She squinted, trying to draw it closer.

“What is it?” Thane asked.

“Something’s forming,” she whispered. “Give me a minute.”

“Take all the time you need.” Thane rested his hand on her thigh. While he gave her great comfort, there was conflict there.

Perhaps that’s what came with long history.

She pushed every thought out of her mind and focused only on the forming memory. Only, the more she tried to race toward it, the fuzzier it became.

“I might need help with some details.” She squeezed her eyes tight. “Thane and I are walking down a street. It’s dark, but I can see the moon in the sky. We have backpacks and a suitcase?” She blinked open her eyes. “That can’t be right. Why would two small children be strolling through town with luggage?”

Gayle giggled. “Because you decided to elope. It was adorable. Both your father and Thane’s dad followed you. The best part was that you thought you’d make it all the way to the campgrounds for the night.”

“We barely made it out of town.” Thane smacked his forehead. “I thought I’d try my hand at hitchhiking. Your dad didn’t take too kindly to that and intervened.”

“How old were we?” she asked.

“I believe Thane had just turned ten and you’re four months younger than he is,” Gayle said. “The only reason we punished you kids that night was the hitchhiking. Thane knew better than to do something so dangerous.”

“I can’t say I really remember the entire event.” She dropped her head back and sighed. “I can picture the night. Our surroundings. I remember being happy. Laughing. Walking down the street. I can see the details of my backpack, right down to it being from one of those princess movies. And then a sense of dread when our dads pulled—Darryl. That’s my father’s name.” She bolted upright. “And your father’s name was Arnold.” Tears welled in her eyes. A crushing pain pressed against her chest. It made it difficult for her to fill her lungs with oxygen.

She was all alone in the world.

Her parents were gone. Her body reacted to this revelation as if it was fresh. As if her folks had perished in that car crash moments ago. She suspected it was because she’d put names to a concept and it had become real.

“That’s right, dear.” Gayle leaned forward, both arms on the bed. “I’m not a doctor, and I don’t begin to understand the mind, but you have plucked a few tiny things about your life. Real things. That’s good. It’s progress. Hold on to that.”

“You’ve always been a really positive person, haven’t you?” Odessa said.

“Life isn’t always fair. If you spend your life feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll never be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and muddle through the little things, much less the really horrible parts of life that are inevitable because tragedy affects everyone.” She reached to the side and raised her cane. “I’ve dealt with health problems. I lost my husband long before I was ready.” She set her cane down and waggled a finger toward Thane. “I thought that one over there died twice and I had to nurse him back to health. During all those times, I didn’t have the time nor the patience to feel sorry for myself. Life is too short and too precious to sweat any of the stuff.”

“I like that.” Odessa pulled the bowl of food closer. “I’m going to need a clean fork because I’m not letting this stuff go to waste.”

“My mama made you some cookies too.” Thane squeezed her leg before easing off the bed and finding the utensil from the floor. He raced off to the bathroom and returned a minute later with a big smile.

“How are you not three hundred pounds?” Odessa took the fork and stabbed a large chunk of lobster and stuffed it in her mouth. It wasn’t hot anymore, but that didn’t matter. The cheese clung to the sides of the meat and her taste buds went wild with the flavor. She hoped another image would pop into her head, but it didn’t.

“If she cooked like that every day, I might be.” Thane strolled around to the other side of the bed. “Speaking of which, I better get you home, Mom.” He helped his mother out of the recliner.

They seemed to have such a sweet relationship.

And Thane was obviously a mama’s boy.

“Haven will stop by in a bit with a new cell phone.” Thane looped his arm around Gayle. “It will be all set up, and my number, along with my mom’s, Haven’s, and Weston’s, will already be programmed in it.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Odessa smiled.

“Oh, yes, he did.” Gayle gave him a good elbow to the ribs. “Don’t you dare hesitate to call any of us if you need anything.”

“I appreciate it.” Odessa decided it was best to stop arguing.

“I’ll make sure to send Jenna in if I see her.” Thane leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”

Odessa continued to nibble on her food as she watched Gayle and Thane disappear. A dense cloud of loneliness loomed in the fluorescent lighting. She focused on the few memories she had and how they made her feel. She replayed them over and over again. Each time she did, they sharpened, growing in focus, expanding in length.

But nothing new filled her brain.