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QUINN

T hree months later…

I t was zero dark thirty when the plane finally touched down on base and the team dragged their sorry asses onto the tarmac.

It was a hell of a deployment. Three excruciating long months.

It took much longer than he’d hoped, but they’d finally tracked down the head of the rebel faction in Marikistan and took them out.

The two sides signed a treaty and now peace could reign in the war-torn country.

It had been a generation since that had been possible.

Quinn couldn’t wait to get home, but first he had his debrief with the commander. Tony had called and let him know he’d be waiting for him in the office. The only positive thing about the deployment was the lack of Dickless Kern. They thankfully didn't require his type of expertise.

While they’d been gone, Ry, Josh, and Lucky had kept in touch with their wives.

The deployment was longer, not a specific mission, and allowed them to maintain contact.

It kept the women from worrying, although Tempest had been with them for part of their deployment.

Quinn had never envied their relationships before, but knowing he’d deliberately not texted Patience rubbed him wrong.

Not that he hadn’t wanted to. He’d started messages to her almost every day, but in the end, he’d deleted all of them.

It was for the best. A clean break. That was the plan.

Theo stayed in touch, letting him know she was doing okay, but not great.

The end of the semester had been hard. Then they’d had graduation last week.

It made for stressful times for her and Livie.

He’d also let Quinn know they’d heard about their residency.

Both would stay local, working at Sentara.

Quinn almost wished the deployment had lasted a little longer, maybe another week or two.

By then, Patience would have left to visit with her parents for the summer.

But that wasn’t what he wanted, not if he was honest with himself.

Was he ever honest, though? Probably not.

Or he’d admit that the desire to see Patience was a constant need thrumming through him.

He’d hoped the time and distance would put an end to the feelings she’d uncovered, but it hadn’t worked.

Instead, he thought about her whenever he had down time.

Worrying she wasn’t eating or resting enough.

A relationship was impossible for them. As strong as his desire for her was, the need to protect her from himself was stronger.

With that thought, he decided he’d stay away from the Ready Room until he was sure she’d left for her trip.

After having his debrief with Tony in commander mode, Quinn was more than ready to drag his exhausted body home to bed. Sleep was the most important thing for him right now. Everything would be clearer after a solid six or eight hours, whatever his brain was kind enough to give him.

Too bad that when Quinn got to the parking lot, he found Doc leaning against his truck waiting for him. Fuck, really? He couldn’t wait a few hours or even days? Of course not. He knew what was coming, and he didn’t want to deal with it now.

“How’d the debrief go?” Doc asked as he stood from leaning against the driver’s door.

“Fine. No clusterfucks to report this time. Apparently, we impressed the shit out of JSOC when we succeeded in ending the conflict.”

“Is that what they’re calling a generation long war these days?” Doc crossed his arms over his chest and smirked.

“It would appear so. All right. I know you’ve had a bug up your ass for weeks. Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve held off for so long. Just let it out before you explode. Make it quick, though. My bed is calling my name.”

Doc shook his head and sighed. “Fine. Here’s the hard truth you refuse to see.

I’d hoped after you’d had some time to think that you’d get your head out of your ass.

Obviously, that was ridiculous on my part.

Quinn, I know you’re stubborn and convinced that you’re beyond redemption.

But fuck, man, you never needed to be redeemed. ”

“Wait…”

“No. As you said, I’ve held this in for months.

Hoping I’d see you at least text Patience while we were gone.

But nope. Your stubborn ass wouldn’t give in.

You did nothing that the rest of us wouldn’t have in your situation.

Can’t you see that? You think you’ll lose control?

Hell, you’re terrified of it. So much so that you can’t see the real you in the mirror. ”

“You don’t know what I see…”

“Think not? You’d be wrong then, my friend.

I see more than you realize. I have secrets in my past that I’d rather not share.

Not like yours, but not pleasant either.

You need to open our eyes and see Patience as the gift she is.

That woman opened you up enough to share with me, the team.

You can’t tell me otherwise. I know you had Theo keep tabs on her.

But why not just come clean? Tell her how you feel? ”

“I can’t. I hear you, believe me, I do. But nothing you can say will convince me I’m what she needs in her life. Now, if you’re done with the lecture, I’m heading home. I’ll talk to you in a few days.”

“Wait, you’re not meeting us at the Ready Room tomorrow?”

“No. And before you say anything, I’m not averse to decking you right now.”

Doc held his hands palms up and stepped further away from Quinn.

“Good choice.” Quinn depressed the unlock button on his key fob and opened the truck door. “I know you mean well, Fergus, and I appreciate it and your friendship. But I’m a big boy and can make my own decisions. Got it?”

“Yeah, bossman. I’ve got it.”

Quinn nodded his head and climbed in, put the truck in reverse, and headed home. He needed peace, solitude, and sleep. Lucky for him, they’d all be waiting for him when he walked through the door of his house.

When he finally pulled into his garage, it was with a sigh of relief. He’d half expected to get called back to base or for someone to have a problem. Hopefully, they’d just gone home and climbed into bed with their women.

His bed would be cold, but he was used to it.

He’d never spent the night with a woman, so there was nothing to miss.

Except he wondered what it would be like to wake up with Patience spread over his chest, and with her silky hair in disarray from their fucking.

It wouldn’t do him any good to go there.

After dropping his go bag on the washer to deal with later, he slowly made his way upstairs to his room. His muscles ached from being awake for so long, and he decided a quick shower would ease the tension.

When he finally slid between the sheets, his mind wouldn’t shut off.

Pummeling his pillow a few times, he tossed and turned.

Sleep eluded him, even though he was exhausted.

Doc’s words churned in his mind, along with visions of Patience, as she lay in her bed asleep.

Fuck. He reached for the remote control on the nightstand and turned the TV to ESPN.

It didn’t help, not at first, and he spent way too long learning about all the hockey games he’d missed instead of catching the ZZs he desperately needed.

It wasn’t until dawn that he finally drifted off.