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QUINN

Q uinn Gallagher, the Red Falcon team leader, inhaled the familiar aroma of fried food and beer as he stepped into the Ready Room.

It should have eased some of his pent-up tension, but it didn’t.

The rest of his team was sitting at their usual table at the back of the main room of the bar.

He heard their raucous laughter and saw their smiling faces from where he stood.

They were in full on decompression mode.

It wouldn’t be that easy for Quinn, especially after the mission debrief with their commander, Tony Knox.

The clusterfuck of a mission left him filled with anger and frustration.

The pressure weighing on him. He’d be shitty company and try to escape after a beer.

As he strode toward them, he tipped his chin at the greetings called out to him, but kept moving.

Quinn wasn’t in the mood for small talk or any talk.

If he’d had a good enough excuse to avoid being there, he would have.

Unfortunately, his absence would have led to questions.

Questions he wouldn’t answer tonight, or ever, if possible.

Tempest waved him over. As he neared the table, she pointed to the empty seat next to her fiancé, Josh Hartman. Josh had taken over as second-in-command from Lucky last year. There’d been a lot of changes over the last few years—more than his men finding the women that completed them.

Luca “Lucky” Rossi had held the SIC position for years until he’d taken a special assignment. He’d been on a black op for over a year. It had been rough on all of them knowing he was on a mission without back-up. Now he was back home with his girlfriend and a toddler.

“Hey boss, how’d the debrief go?” Josh grabbed an empty mug, poured a beer, then slid it toward Quinn.

“Other than wanting to punch Kern in the face, the same as usual.” Quinn grinned, but from the expression on Josh’s face figured it looked more like a grimace.

“What did the fucker do this time?”

Quinn shook his head. He really didn’t want to go into it with the women at the table. Their missions were top secret. Tempest accompanied them on some, but only when they needed her expertise. Grace and Harmony were civilians and needed to be kept in the dark.

“Let’s just say he opened his mouth a little too wide.”

Josh’s lips thinned into a straight line as he harrumphed. “Is he going to be a problem?”

“I don’t think so. You know how Tony feels about his bullshit.”

Josh nodded as he met his gaze. “Monday then?”

“Yeah, after PT,” Quinn said as he lifted his beer to take a drink. The condensation from the heavy mug slid down the side of the glass like rain on a window, before rolling over his palm and dripping onto the scarred wood table.

A paper napkin appeared as he lowered the mug to the table. He didn’t need to look up to know it was Patience. Her lavender and vanilla scent had haunted his dreams for months.

“Hey Quinn. Welcome back.” Patience smiled as she pulled out her pad to take his order. It didn’t matter when they came in, she usually waited on them. He knew she was in med school and would graduate soon.

“Hi,” Quinn grunted. It earned him an elbow in the side from Josh.

He thought he saw a flash of disappointment on her face, but it was gone so quickly he might have imagined it.

This girl, because even though he knew she was in her mid-twenties, was too soft, too sweet, too everything to be someone he could ever go near.

He’d been talking himself out of asking her out for months.

“Shit, Quinn. What happened to your hands?” Patience reached for his clenched fist.

He pulled away before she touched him. There was no missing the disappointment on her face this time. The last thing he wanted was her pity. Or her concern. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

After a moment of hesitation, she pulled his hand toward her for a closer look. The woman had no sense of self-preservation. He’d done everything but growl at her and yet she still didn’t take the hint.

Quinn closed his eyes and slowly exhaled at her gentle touch. He didn’t deserve gentle. The concern on Patience’s face wouldn’t last long if she found out how he’d torn them up.

“Did Providence, or one of the other doctors on base, look at your hand? You need to ice this.” Patience eased his fist open and examined his bloody and swollen knuckles.

“Yeah, I got them checked out before I came here,” Quinn answered. It was a lie, but she’d never find out. There wasn’t a chance in hell he’d risk being pulled from active duty for a few bruises.

“I’m not sure I believe you, but hey, you’re a big boy and can take care of yourself.” She released his hand and stepped back with a shake of her head.

“Exactly. I’ll be fine. It’s nothing.” He hoped this time she’d believe him.

As he watched, she talked herself out of whatever she was going to say next. Her usual sunny smile was back in place. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m good. Thanks. I’ll be heading out soon.”

Patience nodded, then made her way around the table, checking on everyone.

“What the fuck was that?” Fergus ‘Doc’ O’Brien asked. “Why were so rude to her?”

“I wasn’t rude.”

“You were,” Josh said. “I know you’re pissed off, boss, but damn, don’t take it out on Patience. That woman wouldn’t hurt a fly. Hell, she’d probably lay out food for it.”

“Exactly. And that’s why I need to stay away from her.”

“Fine, I get it. Actually, not really. It’s obvious you’re attracted to her, or you wouldn’t be such a dick to her. So what’s the problem? We can all see she’s into you.” Josh said.

Fuck. Just what Quinn needed. Now he had Josh and Doc on his ass.

This is what he got for trying to do things right and making sure they were all fine after the mission.

It’s why he’d started the tradition of coming here to begin with.

Except this time, he was the one who needed a time out from everything.

“I don’t need either of you giving me dating advice. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. That girl is everything that is good in this world. The sun to my night. I won’t risk breaking her for a quick fuck.”

“You’re not dark, Quinn. What the hell, boss? If you mean what happened?—”

“We’re not discussing it. Not now. Never. Get me? Let. It. Go,” Quinn growled.

Doc leaned back in his chair with his hands up. “Whatever. But this isn’t you, boss. You need to cut yourself some slack.”

Josh nodded. “He’s right. I’m not sure what’s eating you, but you need to let it go.”

They were right, but they didn’t know his history. Quinn hadn’t shared it with anyone but their CO, and only because he’d had no choice. Only Tony and the shrinks who’d had to clear him for BUD/S.

“Okay. Topic change. Did Tony tell you the shitshow the women got into while we were overseas?” Josh asked.

Quinn breathed out in relief. Maybe he could get through this evening without flipping the table and causing a scene. His anger was roiling inside like a pot about to boil over. It wouldn’t take much to set him off.

“No, he didn’t. Did we miss something?”

“Apparently a whole lot of somethings,” Lucky answered. He sat across from Quinn, next to Doc, and with Grace to his right. Harmony and Ry sat on Grace’s other side.

Luca “Lucky” Rossi had his own darkness to contend with and probably would understand Quinn better than the rest of the team. It wouldn’t be happening, though. But something like understanding shone in his gaze as he met Quinn’s.

The women cringed as Quinn’s gaze met theirs. They must have gotten into a lot of shit while their men were off saving the world, or just one woman in Marikistan.

“What did you get into this time?” Quinn asked.

He couldn’t wait for this one. Somehow, they got into trouble almost every time they were on a mission.

It drove his guys crazy and was usually good for a laugh.

He could use one of those right about now.

His fist throbbed. As they tried to explain, Quinn rubbed it against the icy mug.

“Oh, they got into some deep shit this time. Didn’t you, Tempest?” Josh shook his head.

“Nothing bad happened. It was epic. We saved a bunch of women and a child. But yeah, it was deep shit.” Tempest nodded.

“What? And Tony knew about it?”

“He knew about it and helped. If not for him, who knows what would have happened?”

Quinn watched Josh’s expression as Tempest spoke. From the look on his face, Tempest was going to be in a lot of trouble later. They all were.

“Are you going to share, or do I have to drag it out of one of you?” Quinn asked.

Tempest looked at the other women. Grace and Harmony shrugged their shoulders, leaving the decision in her lap. She sighed. Of the three of them, Tempest was the biggest badass, though Grace proved she could hold her own.

“Okay, fine. Providence uncovered a human trafficking operation in Norfolk. Tony and some guys from his former SEAL team helped us rescue the women and a child. One of them had a lot of connections. He got them resettled with jobs and places to live. Apparently, they also took out the cell that covered this area.”

“Holy fuck.”

“Right? Once a SEAL, always a SEAL,” Lucky added.

“And not one casualty except for the tangos,” Ry said.

Impressive. Quinn knew Tony kept in prime condition and ran through PT with them as much as possible. But he could have screwed his career.

“Command is in the dark?”

“Oh yeah. Although, from what Providence said, I don’t think he was concerned about his career.”

Quinn nodded. It didn’t surprise him. Tony had told him a few weeks ago he needed to decide his next steps now that his twenty were up.

He’d help anyone in trouble, but he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from helping trafficked women and kids.

There would have been no stopping him, even if he hadn’t fallen hard for Providence.

“You’re all lucky nothing went sideways. It could have been a Murphy,” Quinn said.

“What’s a Murphy?” Harmony asked.

Quinn’s lips curved up in his first genuine smile of the night. She was the most innocent woman he’d ever met, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t smart. Her father had abused her for years, but she’d gotten away from him, and Ry made sure she stayed safe.

“A Murphy is something goes wrong, and at the worst times,” Quinn explained.

Doc chuckled. “Like all our missions.”

Tempest smirked. “Yeah, we know. But Tony’s former teammates were amazing. None of us really did anything except help Providence smuggle a phone into the women at the nail salon. The rest was on Providence and Tony.”

Josh pulled Tempest closer and kissed her. “You’re fucking lucky it’s all you did. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d come home to find you injured or worse.”

Tempest huffed. “I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I want you to.” Josh shrugged.

Quinn envied the men their relationships.

Hell, Tony had Providence now, too. It wasn’t something he’d ever have and had made peace with it years ago.

A relationship couldn’t be in his future.

He’d decided it long ago, prior to joining the Navy.

It was another reason he needed to keep his distance from Patience.

She deserved more; she deserved everything.

And even if he could, he’d never be the one to give it to her.

An hour later and Quinn’s skin prickled with the need to escape from the bar.

It was new. He’d never reacted to his team like this before.

Hell, he’d never totally lost it on a mission before, either.

Blowback from the mission was the only explanation.

His old therapist would have told him to talk it out, but he wasn’t ready, would never be ready, to share that part of his past. A monster, and out of control.

For years, he’d kept his past locked away, buried in a box so far back in his psyche he never expected to see it again.

Yet, all it took was one mission to pry open the lock and expose his battered and bleeding memories.

Fuck. Maybe he needed a vacation. Time alone where he could let out the beast in private, far away from everyone else.

“Hey, you okay, Quinn?” Josh said low enough no one else would hear.

He turned toward his friend, the concern on his face shook Quinn out of his reverie. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You know, any of us would have done the same thing. You just got to that mother fucker first. We all wanted a piece of him.”

Quinn nodded, but he didn’t believe it. He’d torn the kidnapper apart, literally pulled his arms out of his socket and broken both of his hands, and probably every other bone in his body, before shooting him between the eyes. Who does that? Not a sane person, that’s for sure.

“I don’t want to discuss it, especially not here. If you or the others have questions, we’ll talk about it after PT on Monday.”

“Sure, boss. But I’m here if you need me, any of us are. We’ll always have your six, no matter what,” Josh said.

The no matter what was the part Quinn didn’t like. They shouldn’t have to worry he’d go off the rails, and they’d need to be backup for him. He lifted his mug to take another drink, but it was empty.

“I’ll get that for you,” Patience said as she appeared by his side like magic.

Not that he wanted her there, but her soft scent soothed his beast. His actions today reiterated the need to stay away from the innocent woman.

He knew she was in her late twenties, ten years younger than him, but light years of experience.

There was no world where he’d be good for her.

“Thanks.”

“It’s my job,” she said with a grin. “Do you need anything else? Did you change your mind about ordering anything to eat?”

“Not tonight. I’ll be heading home soon. Just please bring the bill for the table. I’ll take care of it before I go.” Quinn refused to make eye-contact with her. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in her gaze, even though he knew it was there.

They’d been doing this dance for a few months. Her attempt to get closer, and his pushing her away. Patience needed to understand it wouldn’t change. She had her whole life ahead of her, and he just waited for the mission that would finally take out his sorry ass. She’d get the hint, eventually.