Page 18

Chapter seventeen

Hello, brain? Kindly fuck off.

Charlie

I stare at my computer screen, scrolling through page after page of analytics for a major client meeting tomorrow. Facts and figures blur in front of me. I know there’s data I should be paying attention to, but it’s all a haze.

I wonder what he’s doing right now?

It’s been a few days since I showed up at Jake’s condo after he got back from his string of away games. I needed to make sure he was still alive and hadn’t sunk too deep into post-loss gloom. But since then, our schedules haven’t aligned. I’ve missed him more than I want to admit, and it’s messing with my concentration.

Ridiculous. Missing someone I’ve only ever kissed. The audacity of me.

Except it’s not just me. Noah’s been asking if he’ll see Jake again soon, too. He’s been quieter than usual this week, and I’ve been desperately trying to cajole him. Even Meadow, as I tucked her into bed the other night, mumbled sleepily that she missed Jake and his shoulder rides.

It’s sweet, but it also fills me with so much anxiety. Jake’s only been in our lives for a short time, and yet he’s already become a part of our little world. It feels risky. Like I should be pulling back, moving slower.

I feel protective and guilty, like I should be doing more to rein myself in. The last thing I need is for my kids to get attached to someone who might not be around for the long haul. I’ve already done that to them once. This move to Denver was supposed to give them a fresh start—the o pposite of what they had with the last man in their lives, their own father.

But I can’t get Jake’s words out of my head, the ones he said to me after the zoo. I’m all in.

How can he be so sure? It actually pisses me off a little, thinking he’s saying these things so casually. He can’t just say that to a single mother with two kids. It’s not fair. Unless, of course, he means it. Which he might. And the way he looks at me… it feels like he really does.

I huff, clicking my mouse a bit too aggressively as I scroll through the data on my screen. I’m a bloody mess. I need my overactive brain to kindly fuck off for a bit.

The way my thoughts and emotions are swinging from side to side is driving me nuts. This isn’t what I came here to do. I should be able to focus. There’s too much at stake if I don’t.

A light tapping on my office door pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. Zoe saunters in, her mischievous smirk faltering a bit when she sees my stormy expression. “What’s with the face?”

I smile, composing myself and shaking my head. “Just… stuff.”

“Oh, stuff, huh? Would that stuff happen to be six-foot-three, ridiculously handsome, and play professional hockey, by any chance?” Zoe’s eyes twinkle.

I sigh, leaning back in my chair, but I can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. “Maybe.”

Zoe plops down in the chair across from me, propping her feet on the edge of my desk. “Wanna talk about it?”

I hesitate, searching her face. I do want to tell her, but I already know what she’s going to say—that I need to give this a chance. And while I love her for her support, I don’t think she fully understands just how fiercely I need to protect my kids.

“I’m feeling… conflicted,” I finally admit.

Zoe raises an eyebrow. “Conflicted because…?”

The words spill out before I can stop them. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m a single mother who uprooted her kids to the other side of the world. I swore I’d keep them safe, keep them from getting hurt again. And now they’re missing Jake more than I expected. I’m scared I’m setting them up for another fall. I feel like a hypocrite.”

Zoe’s expression softens, her usual teasing replaced with concern. “You’re not a hypocrite, Charlie. You’re human . You’re doing the best you can for those kids. And I don’t think you’re giving Jake enough credit. From what I’ve seen, he’s missing you guys just as much, probably even more. He’s got this whole tortured soul thing going on.” She waves her hand for emphasis. “That man’s not going anywhere unless you push him away.”

I bite my lip, her words hitting closer to home than I want to admit. “But what if I’m wrong? What if this all ends up hurting them? I can’t let that happen again.”

Zoe leans forward. “You’re a great mom, Charlie. You’d never let anything hurt those kids if you could help it. But maybe it’s time to believe Jake is all in, like he said.”

I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, my phone buzzes loudly on the desk, the screen lighting up with Noah’s School. My heart drops.

“Hold on,” I say, picking up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, Ms. Andrews? This is Mrs. Lopez from Noah’s school. I wanted to inform you that there was a small incident today. Noah was involved in a scuffle with another student.”

My stomach tightens. “A scuffle? What happened?”

“It seems another student was picking on Noah, and he… well, he defended himself. He’s not in any trouble, but I thought you should know. He was pretty upset afterward.”

“What were they picking on him about?”

Mrs. Lopez hesitates. “It was about his accent, Ms. Andrews. Some of the kids were teasing him for the way he pronounces certain words. I’ve spoken to the other students involved, and we’re addressing it, but I thought you should be aware.”

My heart sinks. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll come pick him up shortly.” I hang up, a heavy weight settling in my chest.

Zoe’s frown deepens. “What’s wrong?”

“Noah’s had a rough day. Some kid was bullying him, and he lashed out.”

Zoe’s expression darkens as she swings her feet off the desk. “What the hell? Is he okay?”

“They said he’s not in trouble.” I take a deep breath, staring down at my phone, trying to process it all.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, but I’m not. I’m stressed, worried, and angry all at once. Noah’s been so excited about school, and now he’s being teased for something he can’t control. And I’m the one who did this. I moved him here, to this new country, and he’s paying the price. And on top of that, this will be perfect ammunition for Alex. The kids need to be happy and settled here, or he’ll insist they come back to New Zealand.

Zoe watches me closely, her usual playfulness gone. “What were they bullying him about?”

I swallow, the words thick in my throat. “His accent. They’re teasing him for the way he talks. He’s been trying so hard to fit in, and now…”

Zoe reaches across the desk, resting a hand on mine. “Charlie, you’re doing your best. Noah’s lucky to have you. And you’re not alone, okay? You’ve got people who care about you and the kids.”

I squeeze her hand, grateful for the support but feeling the weight of my worries pressing down. “Thanks, Zo. I’m gonna head home and pick him up myself today. I need to be there.”

As I gather my things, Zoe stands, still looking at me thoughtfully. “I’m heading to the arena soon, but if you need me to come kick some elementary kid’s punk ass, I will.”

I manage a grin, but the idea of leaning on anyone else right now feels wrong. The fact I even have to text Alex to update him on this is doing my head in. I’ve always handled these things on my own. It’s not just pride; it’s about protecting my kids from any more upheaval.

“Nah, I’ll deal with it.”

***

Jake

The pucks echo of f the boards as morning skate wraps up. It’s been a pretty good session. But even as I go through the motions, my mind keeps drifting back to Charlotte. It’s been days now since she came to my condo, and we haven’t seen each other since. I’m not sure how much longer I can go without seeing her, and the thought of it gnaws at me.

As I unlace my skates in the locker room, footsteps echo in the corridor, followed by Zoe’s familiar voice. She’s chatting with a few staff members, but when she spots me, she waves them off and heads straight over.

“Hey, superstar,” she says with a small smile, but there’s something serious in her eyes that puts me on alert.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I stand, tossing my skates into my bag.

“I have a meeting upstairs. But, uh… I wanted to talk to you first,” she says, her tone shifting from playful to concerned.

“What’s up?”

She hesitates, glancing around to make sure we’re out of earshot of the other guys, then lowers her voice. “It’s Charlie. Noah had a rough day at school. He got into a scuffle with some kids who were picking on him because of his accent.”

A surge of protectiveness rises in my chest. “ What? Is he okay?”

She nods quickly, probably noting the fire in my eyes. “Yeah, he’s okay. Charlie’s heading home now so she can go pick him up herself,” Zoe explains. “But she’s spiralling a bit. She feels like it’s her fault for bringing the kids here, for uprooting their lives. And you know how she is—she’s trying to handle everything on her own.”

I frown, shaking my head. “She doesn’t have to handle it alone.”

Zoe sighs. “You know what she’s like, she doesn’t ask for help even when she’s stressing out. And I bet Alex won't help matters when he finds out.”

I let out a slow breath through my nose, jaw clenched tight at the mention of his name. I’ve seen the stress he puts on her, how it weighs on her every decision.

And now, knowing that Noah’s being bullied over s omething as simple as his accent—something tied to where he comes from, where they all come from—it’s no wonder she’s feeling overwhelmed. It doesn’t sit right that she's doing this alone, bearing all that weight when I could be there.

“Thanks for telling me, Zoe.” I grab my jacket and sling my bag over my shoulder. “I’m gonna head over there, see if she needs anything.”

“Jake—” Zoe hesitates, her concern flickering as I turn back. “Maybe just call her first. Give her a heads up before you charge in.”

I nod, already pulling my phone out as I head towards the exit. Zoe gives me a small, encouraging smile as she waves me off, and I dial Charlotte’s number.

After a few moments, she picks up. “Hey, Jake.” Her voice is tense, guarded, and a bit muffled—she’s clearly on her car speaker. There’s an edge of tiredness in her tone that tugs at me.

“Hey,” I say, keeping my tone soft. “Zoe told me what happened with Noah. You okay?”

There’s a pause. I hear her breathing, the sound of traffic faint in the background. I can almost visualize her walls going up. “I’m fine. I’m just on my way home before I go pick him up.”

I know her too well, even after all these years. She’s holding back, trying to sound unbothered, but I hear the strain. A pang of frustration hits me—she’s shutting me out, carrying all this weight on her own, and I’m damn tired of watching her carry it alone.

It’s like she’s desperately rebuilding a wall I’m trying to break through. Let me in, Charlie.

“Do you want me to come with you? I can be there in a few.” I keep my tone steady, but inside, I’m pleading.

Another pause. “It’s okay, I’ve got it handled.” There’s a coldness to her words, a barrier she’s put up. I know it’s because she’s stressed, trying to protect herself and the kids, but it still stings.

Handled , she says. Like I’m not even an option to lean on.

I force a nod she can’t see. “Alright.” The w ord tastes bitter. I don’t want to push her away by coming on too strong, but I can’t just sit by and do nothing. “You know I’m here if you need anything, right?”

“Thank you,” she replies politely, like she’s talking to one of her clients. “I’ll talk to you later.”

The call ends before I can respond. I stare at my screen, frustration and helplessness churning hot in my chest.

Fuck this.

She thinks she’s protecting herself and the kids, but she’s wrong. She doesn’t know how to lean on someone, to trust someone, but I’m going to show up for her. Prove I’m not going anywhere. That she doesn’t have to carry this alone.

I grab my keys, tossing my bag into the back of my car, and slam the door shut. Her place isn’t too far—if I move fast enough, I’ll get there before she does. She might not have asked for help, but I’m going to be there with it anyway.

***

Charlie

I pull into the driveway, my mind still a chaotic swirl of worry and guilt. This day has turned into a nightmare, and all I want is to get inside, change, and pick up Noah. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a cliff, trying to hold it all together. So, the last thing I expect to see when I turn the corner of my street is Jake.

But there he is, leaning casually against his SUV, arms crossed, waiting. It feels like a double-edged sword seeing him here. A wave of emotions collide in me—nerves, frustration, and something that feels suspiciously like relief. The sight of him both calms and unsettles me, and I realize I’ve missed him. God, I’ve missed him. But I can’t focus on that. Not now.

As I pull into my driveway and step out of my car, he straightens up with concern etched in his eyes, which only makes me feel m ore on edge.

“Hey,” he says softly, eyes searching mine.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, frustration sneaking in, betraying my attempt at calm.

Jake’s brows knit together for half a second before smoothing out. “I told you, I’m here if you need anything.” His voice holds a steady resolve, a quiet promise that he’s not going to let me push him away. “I thought you might want some help.”

“I already said, I’ve got it handled.” I let out a sharp breath, torn between clinging to my independence and the overwhelming relief of having him here. I want to lean on him, but I can’t shake the feeling that it means I’m losing control. He gives me a look like he wants to tell me how wrong I am, but I continue before he does.

“You don’t have to keep doing this, you know.” I bite out, but the words feel brittle. “You don’t have to keep showing up like this. What if—”

“I know I don’t have to,” he interrupts, frustration clear as he steps closer. “I choose to. I’m here because I want to be. I’m not making promises I can’t keep, Charlie.”

I look away, not sure how to respond. The wall I’ve been holding up to keep him at a safe distance feels fragile. Part of me knows he means it—whenever I look into his eyes, I can see that he does. But another part of me, the part that’s been burned before, can’t help but wonder if it’s all too good to be true. That he’ll get tired of this. Of us. The very thought of it makes my throat burn, so I go for half the truth.

“I just… I’m worried about Noah. I brought him here, to this new place, and now he’s being bullied because of it. It’s my fault.”

Jake exhales slowly, his expression softening as he steps even closer, reaching out to gently touch my arm. “It’s not your fault. And you’re doing an amazing job. But right now, you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I’m scared, Jake,” I blurt before I can stop myself. “I’m scared of letting you in, of letting the kids get attached to…" I wave my hand between us. "Whatever this is. I can’t handle them getting hurt again.”

He doesn’t flinch, just stands there, his presence like gravity p ulling me in. Too close. It’s been days since I let myself feel this pull, and now it’s like a dam threatening to break. I can see the determination in his eyes, the way he’s fighting his own frustration to be patient with me. It’s enough to make me want to believe him, even if it terrifies me.

His hand slides from my arm up to cup my jaw, tilting my face so I’m looking directly at him. The warmth of his touch sinks through me, unraveling the defenses I’ve spent time rebuilding. “I get it, I do. But I’m not going anywhere, Charlie. And whatever this is ,” he repeats my words back to me, “I’m all in.”

Looking into his eyes, I see that steady sincerity I always see when he says these things. There’s something so unwavering in his gaze that it makes me want to trust what he’s telling me. That I don’t have to do this alone.

“Okay,” I finally whisper. “Okay. Let’s go get Noah.”

Jake nods, visibly relieved that I’m letting him in, even just a little. “I’ll follow you there.”

I make a sound of agreement and turn towards the house, but then I feel his hand on my arm again. “Unless… Do you wanna ride together?”

The idea feels like a big step, but when I meet his eyes, I know it’s a step I want to take. "Yeah, okay. Let’s ride together.”

I rush inside to change, and then head back out to Jake’s car. As he opens the passenger door for me, I catch his eye and offer a small, grateful smile. He returns it with one of his customary winks that sends my heart racing.

With Jake beside me, his hand tentatively sliding into mine as he drives, something inside me feels like it’s slowly unraveling. His calm presence is exactly what I needed today, I just didn’t know it. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, watching the way his focus stays steady on the road, but his hand lingers against mine like he’s afraid I’ll pull away.

I don’t.

***

W hen we pull up outside Noah’s school, the usual buzz of parents and kids milling around hits me, but today it feels different. There’s a noticeable shift in the air as Jake jumps out of the car and walks around to open my door. I hadn’t considered that I’d be stepping out of a giant SUV with an equally giant NHL player beside me.

A few parents glance our way, recognition flashing in their eyes before they whisper to their kids. Even some of the teachers by the entrance look over, their expressions a mix of confusion and curiosity.

As we approach the front office, a group of kids by the playground notice us, wide-eyed as they point in our direction. One nudges his friend, and I hear their excited whispers: “That’s Jake Brooks! He’s here!”

Mrs. Lopez in reception stumbles momentarily over her words when she sees Jake beside me. “Ms. Andrews, and… Mr. Brooks,” she greets us, keeping her professionalism despite her surprise. “Thank you for coming in.”

“Of course,” I say, brushing off the attention and focusing on what matters. “Can we see Noah?

She nods, regaining her composure. “Noah’s in the counseling room. He’s calm, but I think he’ll feel a lot better seeing you, Ms Andrews.”

As we walk down the hallway, Jake’s quiet presence beside me feels like an anchor. He’s not trying to take control, or steamroll in. He’s just here, ready to act if I need him to. When we reach the door, Mrs. Lopez glances at Jake. “I’m sure Noah will be thrilled to see you too, Mr. Brooks.”

Jake gives her a warm smile, but his focus is on me, silently offering support.

I nod at Mrs. Lopez, and she opens the door, letting us enter. Inside, Noah sits on a small couch, his shoulders hunched, staring blankly at a book in his hands. He looks so small, so dejected. His face lights up when he sees me, then his eyes widen when he spots Jake behind me.

“Mum! Jake!” He jumps up, running over.

I kneel down, pulling him into a tight hug, feeling the tension in his small frame ease as he buries his face in my shoulder.

“Hey, buddy. You okay?”

Noah pulls back and nods, his eyes filled with unsh ed tears. “I didn’t mean to, Mum. I just… He wouldn’t stop.”

Brushing his hair back, I smile gently. “It’s okay, Noah. You’re not in trouble.”

“Hey, Noah,” Jake says softly, crouching to our level. “Tough day, huh?”

Noah nods, glancing back and forth between us.

I catch Jake’s eye in a silent exchange, his soft eyes meeting my glassy ones. His presence is grounding, even as I try to hold my fraying edges together.

“Come on,” I say, standing and reaching for Noah’s hand. “Let’s go home.”

Noah nods, his hand slipping into mine. Jake slowly stands, his quiet support unspoken but tangible. I feel his hand slide over my shoulder and squeeze gently, but I don’t dare look at him because I know I’ll break. My wounds are on full display, and he’s seeing right into my biggest fears.

As we step outside, the stares from parents and kids hit us like a spotlight. A group of boys from Noah’s class hangs nearby, their eyes widening at the sight of Jake. “Whoa, Noah, you know Jake Brooks ?”

Jake grins, clearly enjoying the attention his presence is affording Noah. He ruffles Noah’s hair and says, “Yeah, Noah’s cool. We’re buds.”

The boys gape in awe, and I see Noah’s posture straighten a little, his shy smile breaking through.

As we reach Jake’s car, he leans close to Noah, his voice dropping so only he can hear. “Remember buddy, those things that make you different? They’re your superpowers. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Noah nods, gripping my hand tighter as he climbs into the backseat. I catch Jake’s eye, mouthing a silent “thank you.” He just smiles, his gaze lingering on mine for a beat too long. He wants me to see this. wants me to see how much he cares.

As Jake drives us away from the school, his quiet presence fills the car again. I glance over at him—this man who keeps showing up, and something in me softens. The weight that’s been pressing down on me all day begins to lift.

And it's all because of Jake.