Page 27

Raeann

M y face hurts from smiling too much. That’s one thing I didn’t count on after agreeing to so many TV and radio appearances. If it’s not in front of the camera, it’s smiling for the hosts—even when I think they’re being information whores.

Everything is about Micah. They may draw me in with the pretense of talking about the viral video and discussing Pet Threads, but it always devolves into asking about Micah.

He’s my favorite subject, though, so I can’t be that mad, but something about a person smiling in my face while asking me something super personal for the world to hear just turns me off. One of them even had the audacity to come to me and apologize after the radio spot ended.

“There she is!” Tab exclaims as I walk into the store. “Our in-house celebrity.”

Katya pops up from a display. “Raeann, tell me, does Micah Freeman wear boxers or briefs?”

From the back, Jace calls out, “What’s Micah’s favorite color?”

“Whose apartment do you stay in?” Tab adds.

Katya chuckles. “What color sheets does he have?”

“Is he packing?” Jace says, this time sticking his head through the doorway.

“No, really, is he packing?” Tab asks.

She once came into my room when Micah’s toy was slightly visible in my sheets, and I had to scramble to throw it under the bed. I nearly had a heart attack.

“Ha. Ha. You guys are hilarious.”

“What’s not funny is the number of orders we got this morning.” Tab bounces on her toes with excitement. “Our best day yet. You have so much reordering to do.”

“And hiring another employee,” Katya and Jace say at the same time.

“She starts tomorrow,” I reassure them.

I know it’s been a bear working here with me gone. And if these promo spots are actually doing what they say they’re doing, we need to hire that third—and possibly a fourth—staff person right away.

Tab walks up to me, and Athena joins her. With a small smile, Tab takes my shoulders. “You look like you could use a detox from peopling so much. Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nap?”

My lip wobbles. “You guys are already behind. I can help.”

“Hey.” She leads me over to the corner of the store and lowers her voice. “We both agreed that publicity for the store is a great idea, but if it’s taking too much of a toll on you, that’s not okay, Raeann. We can deal without it. We’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m… overwhelmed.” The truth is, my life revolves around the store and Micah. The two interconnect somehow with no discernible cut-off points. “I just miss, I don’t know, doing nothing. Taking walks to clear my head, watching bad TV on the couch with you.”

She pulls me in for a hug, but it only makes me feel more guilty. I’m living a dream right now, and all I keep thinking about are the negative aspects. What’s wrong with me?

“I would miss me too, if I were you.”

She pats my back, and I crack up. Taking a step away, I shrug. “I think I’m going to turn down any interviews that won’t let me take Athena onto set. That sort of defeats the purpose, right?”

“I think so. If they really want you on, they’ll make it work.” She folds an extra-large purple dress in front of her. “We got an email today from a local station that wants us both on. That could be good.”

“Yes, please. Anything to take the eyes off me. I’ll let you answer all the questions.”

“That would be weird if any are directed at you, and I answer. Like, ‘Raeann, how is your relationship with Micah Freeman going?’ Then I answer, ‘Oh, it’s going great. He’s so supportive and happy for her.’”

“I can see how that would be weird,” I confess.

“Why don’t you take that nap, sweetie?”

I shake my head. “I can’t. If I don’t do the reordering now, then I won’t be able to do it because I have that appointment later.

” Nerves jumble in my stomach. Talking to a professional therapist makes me panicky, even though I think it’s a good idea.

What is she going to want to talk about? Will I cry? Will she think I’m crazy?

“Okay, but after the appointment, you and me and some trash TV?”

“Sounds perfect.” A flash of movement near the door catches my attention, and I spot a few customers coming in. They peer around the store, and I’m so shocked to see them here that I sort of stare.

“You know them?” Tab asks.

“It’s a few of the girlfriends of the players. I met them when we were at the barbecue.”

“Well, introduce me!”

Her statement spurs me on, and I walk toward them, trying to fix my hair. “Briar, Charley, hi.”

“There you are!” Briar says. “Charley and I wanted to check out the store. This is so cute!”

Tab laughs, and I gesture to her. “This is my partner and best friend, Tab Riley.”

“Tab, hi. I’m Briar, and this is Charley.”

“And who’s this?” I ask, bending over to pet a white bulldog.

“This is Buttercup,” she smirks. “She’s my neighbor’s dog. After you brought over Athena, I’ve been talking to Reid about getting a dog, so he thought I should do some pet sitting first to see if I would really like it.”

At her name, Athena trots over. She and Buttercup greet each other nose-to-nose before all the other sniffing happens.

“Reid? Reid Parker?” Tab asks.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Oh, I’ve heard that name,” Tab states. “Raeann makes me watch when the Wildcats are playing.”

“Charley is Cade Farmer’s girlfriend. He’s the new wide receiver on the team. They just drafted him, but Cade and Reid have known each other since…” I trail off.

“Since forever,” Briar admits, filling in the blank. “We were all practically in diapers together. Reid and Cade were best friends with my brother.”

And just like that, it dawns on me that Briar and I have more in common than dating a Wildcats’ player.

Losing someone so close. I file that away in case I need to talk to someone sometime.

I’ve never been the one to reach out first, but I’ve met her a few times now, and she seems so nice. Fun, quirky.

“Does Buttercup want an outfit?” Katya asks.

I introduce her to our queen collection, and we spend half an hour dressing Buttercup in different designs.

The entire time, her saggy jowls make her look displeased with everything.

It’s so hilarious that all of us are nearly on the floor dying of laughter with each outfit we pick out that’s more feminine than the last.

She’s a sweet dog, though. In the end, Briar buys a blue monotone dress with a slight frill and the treats Buttercup liked best. I tried to give her the dress for free, but she wouldn’t hear of it.

Right before they leave, Briar takes Buttercup’s picture in front of our backdrop and messages it to the dog owner.

“Hopefully, you get another customer. See you later. I hope we get to hang out again soon!”

Tab places her head on my shoulder as we wave goodbye. “They seem nice.”

“I thought so. They all traded stories about the unhinged things their guys did to get them. Apparently, football players are known for being a little left of center.”

“Man, I need one. Private jets. Whisked off to LA. Did I tell you I texted Micah about getting in touch with someone in the league about licensing? He’s going to get me a name.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, no pressure, but design is all on you.”

“No pressure at all.”

Briar pulls a huge black SUV away from the curb. It’s built like a tank. Definitely looks like something Micah would want me to drive. He’d probably upgrade it with a bunch more security features.

I get so busy tracking stock and analyzing reports afterward that my watch has to remind me of my appointment with the therapist.

Just as well. The SKUs and numbers have started to blur in front of me. I stand, stretching, and then I’m off again, my brain—and body—already weary.

It’s my second appointment with Dr. Lauren Franks, and I’ve decided I like her. The first appointment was an overall how I’m doing and feeling. We touched a little on everything. My past, the relationships with people in my life, and my general well-being.

I’m still going over everything we talked about in the first meeting when she comes out into the waiting room and invites me in.

I stand, taking a deep breath, and head inside, even though it feels like entering the unknown—and that’s something I don’t usually love doing.

I settle into a brown leather chair, and she sits opposite me. The modern aesthetic of her office gives uptight vibes, but when she talks, she doesn’t come across like that. She’s personable and friendly.

“So, how are things going today?” Lauren asks.

“I’m exhausted,” I tell her honestly. This is a question I can easily answer. “I had a TV interview this morning, then back to the store to do some work. I feel like my brain might explode.”

It’s good that she had me fill out an entire questionnaire before I started. I probably wrote things in there that I’ve already forgotten about, so it’s possible she knows more about my life than I do.

“How did the interview go? Were you anxious?”

“Not too bad. Though, since my relationship with Micah has gone public, people only want to ask me about him. It’s sort of annoying.”

“I can see that. Are you feeling like you’re losing your identity?”

There’s a pause, and she smiles when I don’t answer right away.

“I think that could be a future worry for me,” I explain.

“The store is really the reason why I’m doing these interviews, but it’s like an afterthought.

They all want to play the video, then talk about how the video led me to Micah.

” I squirm in my seat. “One thing I thought of today was that it feels sort of…icky to use my relationship with Micah to sell my pet clothes. That’s not how I wanted it to be at all. ”

Lauren nods like I’m giving her all the information in the world. “What does Micah say?”

I laugh. “He couldn’t care less. He wants our relationship to be as out there as much as possible.”

“So, if Micah doesn’t care and, in reality, people can make the decision to buy your product or not buy your product, do you think that these feelings you have are valid?”

I blink at her. She just totally pulled one of those psycho-doctor things on me. “People can make their own choices, but because people know me from that ridiculous video, my career and Micah are threaded together.”

“And you fear…” she prods, extending the word.

“I fear that I actually wouldn’t be as successful as I am currently if it weren’t for him. If it weren’t for the fact that I was on that show with him, or the fact that it’s getting out there that we’re dating.”

My breaths start to pick up, and the niggle of panic that blooms in my stomach rears its head. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Last session, she sent me paperwork that confirmed the diagnosis I already knew I had. Anxiety. Panic disorder.

Disorder makes it sound so…bad.

“Well, let’s dissect this. You and your business partner put out the video, right?”

“Yes.”

“And what happened?”

“Well, it went viral.”

“Then?”

“People started buying stuff from the store because Athena was in the video.”

Lauren smiles. “What I don’t want you to do is attribute your success to an outside force. You and your friend decided to put out the video.”

I’m not going to tell her that it was completely Tab’s idea.

“True,” I tell her.

“You were already getting orders before you met Micah in the flesh.”

“Also true.”

I keep nodding. What she says makes sense. Sure, the interview where I met Micah may have jumpstarted it some more, but even then, people didn’t know we were dating because we weren’t.

“So in reality, what happened is that people saw your design on Athena and loved it. They loved it so much that even though your video wasn’t even about Athena’s outfit, they contacted you about the outfit anyway. Right?”

“True. Yes, that happened.”

“Then even if people see you doing an interview and they ask you about your boyfriend, you’re not twisting their arm to buy your product, are you?”

“No.” A smile starts to take over my face, and I let out a deep breath of relief. “I feel better. Thank you. The pressure is unreal, and Micah’s gone to an away game, so there’s that distance between us that doesn’t help.”

“How is your relationship with Micah? This distance you’re talking about, you miss him?”

The back of my neck heats. What Micah says is true. What we have is overpowering. I can get so consumed in it that it feels like there’s no one else in the world but us. Sitting on that bench on the beach with hundreds of other people there, it still felt like us.

“It’s a little overwhelming,” I admit.

“Your feelings for him?”

“That. And his feelings for me. And the gifts he sends, and the private plane talk, and the… You haven’t been around him before, he’s overwhelming. It’s hard to think about anything else when he’s around.”

Lauren licks her lips and shifts in her seat. “How do your friends and family feel about him?”

“They like him. He flew my grandfather in for a game on a private plane. I’m pretty sure he made his whole life.”

The area between her eyes pinches. “And how did you guys get to know each other? After the interview, I mean?”

“He asked me out in the green room, and I said no. I thought he was only being nice because of the video where I practically professed my love for him. But then he showed up at the store the next day, and?—”

“He showed up at the store the next day? After you told him no?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t really take no for an answer.”

“Hmm.”

Lauren sits back and writes some notes in the planner on her lap.

“I was taken aback at first,” I say, trying to smooth things over. “But then I got to know him better at the fundraiser.”

She nods, still writing things down. “This fundraiser? Did you know he was going to be there?”

I have to hide a smile because I can only imagine what notes she’s taking. He does sound completely unhinged, like Briar said about Reid, and Jo’s story, too.

I can keep trying to defend him, but I’m only going to make him sound worse. The lifelike dildo, the fact that I can’t come without him. It all sounds completely insane.

“Maybe we should talk about something else,” I say.

“If you want.”

But she continues to take more notes, and I have a pretty good feeling there’s no way that’s going to be the end of that discussion.

Micah pursued me in ways that defy normal behavior. I get that. But I needed it. The little girl who was never chosen needed it.

That doesn’t change the fact that I might have to switch therapists now, since this one thinks I clearly can’t see the red flags.

Oh, I see them. I see them, and I’m gripping them with an iron fist.