Page 19

Micah

M y headphones drown out the white noise of the airplane.

The first few notes of a song play in my ears, and I’m already searching for another one.

I’d usually be asleep by now. Instead, the idea that this metal box is taking me away from my heart at a rate of approximately five hundred miles per hour—according to the screen in front of me—has me alert and on edge.

My gut pulls taut. I can’t get comfortable.

None of my go-to songs are doing it for me.

My brain is in a perpetual state of Raeann, Raeann, Raeann.

What is she doing?

Is she hurt?

Mad?

She pulled away after the botched attempt at spending the night.

It’s possible she thought I came on a little too strong, but everything I said was true and maybe about sixty-five percent as intense as I could be.

As I want to be. Nothing has stolen my heart like she did, and when I feel something like that, I’m all in with one hundred percent focus.

I can be a madman of intensity. It was like that with football. From the first time I ran onto the field, I knew I was born to play the game. I used to show up at my peewee coach’s doorstep asking for extra practice, but I would settle for tips or tricks.

I was in love. Football was my entire personality. Every gift I received was football related. Every spare moment was reading about football or watching games—old or new, it didn’t matter.

When I got older, I became a student of the game. Lucky for me, my varsity coach was as intense as I was. He saw the potential in me and steered me in directions that made me the player I am today.

Until Raeann, not another thing has caught my attention like that.

When she finally fell asleep that night, frustrated, I walked out into the main part of the house to find her phone.

The knowledge that I would have to leave Nashville for long stretches of time hadn’t sat well with me since I met her, so I’d researched tracking apps.

Myself, of course. It turns out, Joey doesn’t have the personality for obsessing.

Disappointing, actually. He’s very good at every other thing.

I don’t regret downloading the app to her phone either.

It’s already come in handy several times.

Like now, when no other sound will do but her sweet twang, I push the microphone button and listen in.

Since she spent the night, we’ve only skirted around each other in texts with niceties and formalities.

Now, I can hear her when I want to. Unfortunately for me, nothing comes through but a little bit of feedback and…

a radio? A song that I don’t think she would listen to.

My jaw locks up tight. I quickly switch to the tracking portion of the app and find her dot traveling down Park Ave.

She must be in a rideshare. Fingers heavy with tension, I stare down at the screen where I have an open text to her.

I’ve already asked her everything I can think of since seeing her after the game.

Her grandfather got home okay and is telling all of his buddies about how he sat in a “first class seat” at the stadium.

Athena is still adorable. Tab is salivating over our relationship status.

What’s a text I can send to make sure she’s safe but said in a way where I wouldn’t know exactly what she’s doing?

Then, I get a notification through my credit card company.

I click on the band of text saying I spent $369 at… Oh, Raeann. What did you do?

This is not my credit card. It’s the one I added for her.

Spice Central, $369. Sitting up, I press on my browser and search Spice Central. A sex toy business, apparently.

You tease.

Me: Feeling naughty?

Raeann: Feeling on edge, actually.

Me: I told you that you could have whatever you wanted.

Raeann: Maybe I feel like there’s a price when it comes to what you’re willing to give.

My brows knit when I stare at her response, trying to decipher what it means. She can’t mean that I’ll hurt her. She’s scared still. I’ll have to keep reminding her of what I can offer.

Me: Just know you can buy whatever you want, but nothing will ever feel as good as me.

Within a couple of moments, I receive a picture of what she bought. Laid out on a counter is an impressive dildo, but alongside it is a vibrator, some lube, and… Another notification for the credit card being used. This time, it’s $500 from Victoria’s Secret.

Me: Buy more.

Raeann: Excuse me?

Me: I don’t know what you bought from VS, but buy more.

My stomach flip-flops. The fact that she even used the card makes me giddy.

She sends me another picture. This one from inside the Victoria’s Secret dressing room, posing with a lace bra and thong. Red, just like I said would look amazing on her.

When the hell did she do this? I couldn’t check on her pre-flight because I was caught up with team stuff. I’ll have to message the app developer to see if I can get notifications every time she moves.

Me: Fucking beautiful.

I’m also relieved I had the foresight to make her phone as secure as possible that night. It’s impenetrable now from outside attacks. No one gets to see what’s mine but me. In fact, I’m jealous of the walls in that dressing room and the mirror that reflects her image back to her.

Unfortunately, another transaction never comes through. This foreplay—or whatever it is—just stops. I track her on the map as the rideshare takes her closer and closer to 7th and Union Street—Pet Threads and her apartment.

Me: Spending a self-care night by yourself?

Raeann: Who said I was by myself?

Me: Don’t test me.

I can picture her smiling at her phone, waiting for the moment she gets home so she can get sexy and try out her toys.

I knew I should’ve put a camera in her room.

Me: You should stay at my place.

Raeann: What? Why?

Me: It’s safe. You’ll be alone. You can be as loud as you want.

Raeann: You got a point.

Me: I’ll give you the security code for the gate and the passcode for the door.

Goose bumps spread through me, and my cock presses painfully against its confines. Just thinking about being able to watch instead of listen drives me crazy.

Raeann: I think Tab is actually going out tonight, so I’ll be okay. Tempted by the pool, though.

Me: You know you can use it whenever you want.

I text her the information, hoping she will.

If not tonight, then any time. Hopefully, while she’s missing me.

I’d briefly thought about asking her to show up at my away game, but decided a little space to make her realize how much she feels my absence was a good idea.

What I didn’t foresee was the toll it would take on my mentality to be away from her.

I knew I would worry. I knew I would think about her, but everything about my body screams Raeann .

Every breath, every blink of my eye, every unconscious thought.

Me: I want pictures.

Raeann: So you can torture yourself? Aren’t you on a plane with a bunch of other dudes? You wouldn’t show them my pictures, would you?

I can’t type out my response fast enough.

Me: I would rip their eyeballs from their bodies if they saw you like that.

Raeann: So no texting Jace, then?

I must growl because Davis peeks over. “You good, man?”

I swallow the sudden dryness in my throat—and the overwhelming urge to hit something. “Can’t get comfortable.”

“How’s that thing with the pet store girl going?”

“Fucking perfect,” I grimace, staring at the screen.

Several minutes go by in silence. Davis falls asleep again, and the phone vibrates in my hand finally.

Raeann: I was only joking. Please don’t do something stupid like fire him…or worse.

Another few minutes go by.

Raeann: I was teasing.

Then some more…

Raeann: If you don’t answer, I’m going to assume you did something bad, and I’ll be forced to go check on Jace myself.

Raeann: Wearing this…

She sends through a picture of her lying on her bed, her hair fanned out around her head. The lace of a sexy bra barely covering her tits.

I immediately call her. She picks up on the first ring. “I’m serious. Do I need to go check on him?”

“The only reason he’s still there is because you like him. I’ve already said that.”

“I know,” she says, her accent distinct and drawn out. “You’re too easy to get riled up. I don’t get why you’d care about what little ol’ me does.”

“Little ol’ you, huh?” I lower my voice to a whisper. “From what you sent me, your tits are anything but little.”

“Mmm, did you like that?”

“You know I did. Which toy are you going to try tonight?”

“All of them. I had to take a cold shower earlier. I have dick on the brain. I almost moaned when Tab bought me a tea earlier.”

“Do you think they’ll help?”

“I pray they do.”

Several moments go by and neither of us says anything. The listlessness in her voice gets me. “Get on a plane and come see me.”

“In Texas? You won’t have any free time.”

“I’ll make free time.”

“Micah…” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this. Every time I think of you, I ache. It should be easy.”

My stomach knots. “I think it’s the exact opposite. Love should hurt. It should hurt so bad, and that’s why you give in to it. You’re just not accepting it. Come see me.”

“But that’s crazy.”

“Give in to the crazy. Put aside the doubts. Follow your ache.”

“What if it gets worse?”

“No, baby, I’ll make it better. I’ll kiss it better. I’ll fuck it better. I’ll consume you all better.”

She sniffs. “What if you get hurt?”

She doesn’t have to tell me what she’s thinking now. The price she alluded to earlier. Her brain lies to her when she’s alone, telling her she shouldn’t love again because the people she loves leave or get taken away. “I won’t get hurt.”

“You can’t promise something like that.”

“I can. I’m Micah fucking Freeman.”

She sniffs again, and I can picture her wiping tears from her cheeks.

“Come to me.”

“I have work.”

“I’ll hire someone else.”

She chuckles a little. “What fun is my work if I’m not actually the one doing it?”

My eyes close. I get it. I hate that our lives take us away from each other, though. “I miss you.”

She moans. “I miss you, too. And not just now. I missed you the night I stayed at your place. I’ve missed you the three days since. Every time I’m not talking to you, I miss you.” She gets quiet before she whispers, “Do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Send me a picture of you from the hips up, including your tattoos.”

“Why?”

“So I can fuck myself into oblivion tonight with thoughts of you. Maybe it won’t hurt as bad.”

Jesus Christ . If I had any pull whatsoever, I’d have the captain turn this plane around so I could do it myself. “Deal,” I growl into the phone. I end the call, hold my phone out, and take what I hope is a sexy picture before texting it to Raeann.

She texts back immediately.

Raeann: How are you this fucking hot?

Me: I was thinking about you.

She never texts back, so I assume she’s doing her thing.

I’m torn between putting my phone away and listening in.

With so many of my teammates surrounding me, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about the need, but I’m too weak.

I can’t miss out on the opportunity to hear her, to be close to her.

So, I press on the button again and close my eyes to the sound of her moans.

This weekend away can’t pass soon enough. I just want to get there, beat the shit out of Texas, and get back to Raeann. From this moment forward, that’s my entire goal. Laser focused. Locked in.

In and out. The sooner I’m back to my salvation, the better.