Page 6 of Scarred in Silence (The Twisted Trilogy #2)

Astra

My entire body aches from the withdrawal. Every time I wake up, I am nauseous. My limbs twitch, my skin crawls as if there are bugs beneath my flesh.

Lucien has been kind enough to leave fresh clothes with my breakfast. There is a small shower nozzle in the corner by the toilet that I found. I have been showering there with my honey-scented soap. Lucien’s favorite smell.

Yesterday was weird. I wasn’t sure how to feel about him. I know we have a history, but he used me. He always used me, just like everyone else. He doesn’t value me.

The way he touched me sent me back. It reminded me of how simple things once were between us before I betrayed him.

I never cheated on him, despite what he might think. I slept around a lot in high school, sure, but never cheated. After he gave me that ridiculous ultimatum, I had to see what I was missing.

It turns out I wasn’t missing much.

Do I regret selling my body for drugs? No. It was what I needed . I still need it. He will never be able to fix me. No one can.

I stand to get my breakfast, and my ankles throb. I need the chains to come off. Who am I kidding? He will never free me. This is where I will live out the rest of my days.

I open the bag to find a blueberry muffin, bacon, and yogurt. Next to it is a coffee. Thank god. My head feels like it could explode at any minute. I need caffeine.

I drink the coffee and place it back down on the floor before I eat my muffin.

How long will he keep me here, honestly? There is no way Evelyn would let him, right? She might let him… Considering I left her wedding abruptly and told her not to look for me. Sometimes I don’t think things all the way through, but I definitely thought I would be dead by now.

Lucky me. I’m not.

Instead, I am being held captive by my ex-boyfriend. My body responds to his touch so naturally. I don’t want to like him. Lucien cheated on me. He didn’t even fight for me when I left him. He just gave up.

I finish my breakfast and walk over to the shower. The shower is the only thing that quiets my brain these days. I feel like I am going insane, even though it’s only been a day or two… I think?

I step into the cold water and let it take me somewhere else. Somewhere happy.

I stand in the rocky creek. Water flows over my feet.

The water is cold, yet comforting. I hear the sounds of leaves rustling and the chirping of crickets.

I smell the fresh water and evergreens swirling in the air around me.

The sun glistens on my skin, shimmering in the light.

The blood drips down my leg into the water.

I hold the razor blade against my thigh as I cut myself.

The blood mixes with the pure water, cleansing me of my self-doubt. The blade hears me, it listens. The blood is the screams that no one can hear.

I feel myself getting lighter. Everything will be okay. I’m alive. I can feel pain.

Pain is good.

I sit down in the cold water and let it wash my wounds clean. The water is strong. The water is powerful.

I wonder what it would feel like to be water?

I snap from my thoughts and see Lucien standing at the bottom of the ladder, watching me. I quickly shut off the water and cover myself with a towel.

“Can I help you?” I snap.

He stands still, frozen.

“Hello?” I wave my hand in his direction. He snaps out of his intense stare. His eyes travel up my body as if it were a map.

I squeeze the towel tighter around myself.

“What do you want?”

He walks closer, standing just a foot in front of me. The soles of his shoes squeak against the wet concrete.

“What do you want?” His tone is low and inviting.

What do I want? I don’t fucking know. Maybe to get out of this place. Where the fuck am I anyways? My head has been so clouded from withdrawal that I forgot to ask.

“Well, first, I want to know where I am.”

He chuckles.

“You’re in an abandoned building in the middle of an extensive property.”

“Could you be more specific?”

He reads my facial expression, which is pleading for an answer.

“Colorado.”

Relief washes over me at the revelation.

“I’m surprised it took you so long to ask me that,” he laughs.

My eyes narrow at him, letting him know I don’t find that funny.

“I want to go home.”

His eyes narrow at me now. A shiver skates up my spine and settles deep in my bones.

“You are home,” he says with a chilling smile.

No… He can’t possibly think I will live in this basement forever.

“No… I’m not staying here forever.”

He steps in closer, pressing his chest to mine. Only the thin material of the towel separates us. His dirty blonde hair is messy, and his teeth are sparkling white. He is everything I used to want. I used to think he was perfect, but now I know he has flaws.

“You will stay wherever I tell you to.”

I swallow the dense air surrounding me. My throat feels constricted. He moves his hand to my neck, and he squeezes lightly on each side, causing my eyes to roll slightly at the pressure.

He knows me. Lucien knows I enjoy knowing he could kill me at any moment. He knows I fantasize about death.

My lips part as he stares into me with his golden eyes. They are the lightest of brows and glow so brilliantly.

“You will prove your loyalty to me. Only then will you be free.”

His grip tightens almost as a warning when I try to nod. I feel w etness running down the inside of my leg. I clench my thighs together to give myself some relief, but he notices. He smirks.

“I need more than your pussy’s loyalty.” He winks as he releases my neck.

I catch my breath and shoot him a glare.

“I need your mind, your soul, and your pussy—got it, baby?” He flashes me a devilish grin.

“No.”

He places his hand on my lower back and pulls me into him. His breath on my neck has me squirming to get out of my skin.

“You will prove yourself. You don’t have a choice,” he whispers into the shell of my ear.

He then sinks his teeth into my neck, sucking as his tongue swirls around on my skin. I let out a soft moan. He immediately pulls back.

“Do you fucking understand?” He sounds nervous and angry.

“Y-yes…” I admit. Lucien can be so scary when he is at war with himself. I know he had an altercation like this with his brother, Damien, and let’s just say it didn’t end well.

The last thing I want to do is be on the receiving end of Lucien’s wrath.

He turns to walk away from me. I stand still, gripping my towel tightly around my tiny frame.

He stops at the base of the ladder, turning to look at me once more.

“Why did you do it?”

I pinch my brows together, wondering what the Hell he is talking about.

“W-what?”

“Why did you become a real fucking whore?”

My lip quivers.

“I… I didn’t… I just needed money…”

“Exactly. You’re nothing but a fucking whore.”

He looks me up and down, disgust written all over his face.

“You used to be my whore. You used to beg me to fuck you. Now, you beg everyone. Now, you’re not so special. Are you?”

Tears threaten my eyes. I press my eyes shut, wanting to vanish. He can’t be serious. I gave myself to him for years. He will leave me here to rot. I should have fought harder, but I trusted him. He always saved me.

He’s not my savior. He’s my fucking death sentence.

I let the tears flow as I stand naked in the concrete cell. Suddenly, the room feels cold. I feel alone. No one sees me. No one can hear me.

I peer my eyes open, scanning the blurred room through my watery lashes. He’s gone. He never cared. I’m just a prisoner.

* * *

My stomach growls as I lie in my prison. There is no one coming to save me. I wonder if anyone has tried to see me. He probably came up with some elaborate story so that no one would ask questions. Fucking prick.

He’s my only way out, but I don’t think he will ever let me go.

My ankles hurt from the chains. He hasn’t taken them off. I think today is Tuesday, but I could be wrong. I was on drugs before I got here, and now I have taken so many naps, I have to rely on what my meal is to know what time of day it is.

I refused to eat my lunch and dinner today. Fuck him.

He thinks he can talk to me like that and I’ll just willingly comply—he obviously forgot who the fuck I am.

I look up at the ceiling and start counting the tiny imperfections in the cement. Earlier, I got to 642. Then I passed out. Hopefully, the same will happen this time.