Page 9 of Scarlett and the Fake Boyfriend (Scarlett #2)

Tuesday

“Suspect number one is Henley the Jealous Lock Picker.” Sophie pinned Henley Turner’s picture on the bulletin board.

“The jealous lock picker?” I asked.

“Yeah. He’s the president of the lock picking club. Which means he can pretty much get into any room. Including dark locked rooms.”

Huh. I mean...he seemed like a pretty good contender.

“I didn’t realize that was a club at Empire High,” RJ said. “Liam, we should totally join that.”

“Sorry,” I said, ignoring them. “Why did you call him a jealous lock picker?”

“Because he’s the backup quarterback,” Sophie said. “He must at least be a little jealous of Axel. And everyone knows you and Axel are friends. So what better way to undermine him?”

Jacob nodded. “Henley is a little jealous of Axel.”

“Told you,” Sophie said. “Henley the Jealous Lock Picker is the perfect nickname.”

“Yeah that’s not a bad theory,” RJ said. “I still think it’s Axel though. Can I see the texts again? I want to see if it sounds like him.”

“No,” I said .

“Actually, it wouldn’t hurt for us all to analyze the texts,” Sophie said.

“Sophie, please. The suspect list.”

“Right.” She pulled another headshot out of her folder.

“Suspect number two is Leo the Rugged Thief.” She pinned Leo Moore’s picture to the board.

He was the team’s kicker. And I definitely thought of him as the class clown.

He’d actually gotten detention and deserved it before.

“He got caught stealing last semester and his parents sent him to wilderness camp over the summer. I bet his hands are very rough. Did the kiss thief have rough hands?”

“I...I can’t remember.”

Sophie sighed. “You gotta pay attention to details, Scar. Either way, he’s a literal thief. So...definitely a possibility.”

Hm.

“I wouldn’t mind if he became my brother,” Liam said. “That guy’s hilarious.”

“Right?” RJ said.

“Who’s next?” I asked. Why did everyone keep implying I was getting married soon?

“Suspect number three is the team’s center. William Anderson. AKA William the Beefcake. Perfect nickname, right?” She pinned his picture to the board as Jacob, Liam, and RJ all started laughing. “What?” she asked.

“More like William the Queer,” RJ said.

Liam chuckled.

“Wait, William is gay?” Sophie asked. “How did I not find that out in my research?”

“You’ve never been close enough to see how happy he gets when Axel slaps his butt before each snap during the games,” Liam said.

“Yeah, it’s definitely not William,” Jacob said. “I can tell you that much.”

“Oh, okay. Well, great.” She put an X over William’s face. “See this is why we had to loop them in, Scar. They know all the hot goss.”

I mean, I was glad that we’d narrowed it down to five now.

“Our new suspect number three is Eli the Halloween Henchman.” She pinned up Eli Jones’ picture. He was a linebacker. And I had no idea what any of the other stuff Sophie said meant.

“Halloween henchman?” I asked.

“His parents own a Halloween shop. So he’s definitely into masks and hidden identities and stuff, right?”

Liam shrugged. “Maybe. Does the kiss thief actually wear a mask?”

I shook my head. “No, but he’s really good at hiding his identity. He’s always pulling me into dark closets and running off before I can see him.”

“Very Halloween spooky-esque,” Sophie said.

“And the henchman part of his name?” Jacob asked.

“He’s one of Gigi’s henchmen, of course,” she said.

I stared at her. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. I don’t see them hanging out much at school, but they’re all over each other’s social media.

I think their parents are friends or something.

And I had this theory that maybe Gigi had gotten some guy to make out with Scarlett, but that she’s the mastermind texting her.

It totally fits if Eli is her little minion. ”

The Gigi theory had always been the worst theory ever. Even more so now that there was an actual henchman. Damn it, Eli!

“Can I please just see your phone?” RJ said. “I’ll be able to tell in two seconds if it’s a guy or girl texting you.”

“We know it’s a guy,” I said. “Because we did the how-many-people-have-you-slept-with test. His number was too high for him to even put in a text. And a girl would have said like...one or something. Even if she’d slept with 10 people.” It was Sophie’s theory, but I loved it.

Liam laughed. “That’s actually pretty sound logic.”

“See. So...no to the Gigi thing.”

“From the texts I read, it seemed like a guy,” Jacob said.

I looked up at him.

“A guy that is definitely into you.” He gave me a small smile.

“Just give me your phone,” RJ said.

Whatever. He’d already seen a few texts. I tossed it at him.

“Well, the kiss thief calling you baby could go either way...”

I sighed.

“Why are you so bad at 21 questions?”

“RJ, do you think it’s a guy or not?”

“I mean, if you sent me this picture of yourself in a green bikini I would have responded with ‘What are you trying to do to me?’ too.”

“Don’t look at pictures of my sister in a bikini.” Liam yanked the phone out of his hand.

“I’ve seen Scar in a bikini a million times. I didn’t say I wanted to bang her. We’re related, man. I’m just saying I can appreciate a beautiful body. Kind of like your mom’s...”

“You’re a terrible cousin,” I said. “And nephew apparently.”

RJ laughed. “I’m an amazing cousin. And your mother loves me. But yeah, in my expert opinion, I also think the kiss thief is a guy. He’s probably been spending all his nights masturbating to these pics.” He grabbed the phone back from Liam and tossed it back to me.

Liam pretended to throw up.

“You really shouldn’t send stuff like this to someone you don’t know,” Jacob said.

I know that! It was Sophie’s idea! I ignored everyone else and turned to her. “See, Soph,” I said. “Jacob and RJ both think it’s a guy too.”

Sophie shrugged. “I also said it was from the how-many-people-have-you-slept-with test. But you can never be too sure. I just wanted everyone to hear all the current theories. And Eli the Halloween Henchman is still a possibility because of the Halloween store. And he could have been texting you instead of Gigi. But moving on. Suspect number four is Luis the Cheater.” She pinned up Luis Rodriguez’ picture.

He was a wide receiver along with Liam and RJ.

“You can cross him out too,” Jacob said.

“Why?”

“Because he has a girlfriend.”

“So?” Sophie raised her eyebrow.

“So it’s clearly not him,” Jacob said .

“It easily still could be. Hence the nickname Luis the Cheater . If it is him...he’s a real scum bag.”

I groaned. That sounded like a terrible option.

“Yeah, you can’t just cross someone out because they’re dating someone,” Liam said.

I glared at him. “Does your Russian girlfriend know your stance on that?”

“Not my girlfriend,” he said. “I told you. It’s casual.”

“Or maybe Luis’ girlfriend is a fake girlfriend,” RJ said. “Like how you’re Jacob’s fake girlfriend.” He laughed.

Shut up!

Jacob lightly hit RJ in the back of the head.

“Ow.” He rubbed the spot. “I was just saying. By the way. What’s the priority here, exactly? Unmasking the kiss thief? Or making Axel jealous by fake dating Jacob?”

“Both, RJ,” Sophie said. “Pay attention.”

“You can’t have two priorities. That makes them both less important.”

“Yes you can.”

“If Scarlett is fake making out with Jacob, how will she notice all the little signs of Luis hitting on her despite the fact that he has a girlfriend? This is a very delicate situation.”

“But the kiss thief could also be Axel,” Liam said. “Which would kill two birds with one stone.”

RJ nodded. “Yeah, I guess. And if Luis sees Scarlett kind of flirting with Axel despite having a boyfriend, he’ll know it’s fair game to make his move. Because he’ll know she’s cool with cheating too.”

I wasn’t cool with cheating! And I didn’t want to be Luis’ second secret girlfriend.

Even if his first girlfriend was fake. Which I doubted.

I felt like I was the only one insane enough to have a fake relationship.

“Can we please keep going with the suspect list? Who’s the last guy?

” Hopefully he wouldn’t be a dirty cheater.

“Zach the Stallion.” She pinned the team’s tight end, Zach Fischer’s picture onto the board. “His dad is ex-CIA. And he’s a total tech expert. With his connections he might even have night vision goggles or something. So he can see you in dark rooms but you can’t see him.”

“Okay, I change my guess,” RJ said. “It’s definitely Zach.” And then he giggled.

“Why did you just giggle?”

Liam laughed too.

And so did Jacob.

“Why are you guys laughing?” Sophie asked. “He’s a solid contender.”

I agreed. He probably had access to so much awesome tech.

“Question for you first,” RJ said. “Why exactly did you give Zach the nickname Zach the Stallion?”

“Because I’ve been monitoring all the guys in the locker room,” Sophie said. “And he never changes in front of anyone. He’s probably packing so much that he doesn’t want to whip it out and intimidate the whole team, lowering morale, and sending you into a losing season.”

Liam laughed. “Or...not.”

“What? ”

RJ shook his head. “I’ve never known anyone with a huge dick to hide it. That’s why all the guys think he has a micro-penis.”

“No way,” Sophie said. “Boy is packing.”

Jacob shook his head. “He’s new to the team, and I don’t think anyone has ever seen him change. That micro-penis rumor has been going around for like a week. I’ve heard it too.”

“But I would have heard that if it was true,” Sophie protested. “There’s no way. I call dibs on pantsing Zach.”

“I don’t think anyone is fighting you there,” Jacob said.

I laughed.

“Wait,” RJ said. “You said his dad is ex-CIA?”

Sophie nodded.

“You guys, the rumor only started recently. What if he’s not changing in the locker room because he knows about the cameras?”

We all looked at each other.

Shit. “You might be right.”

“I’m going to have to take them down,” RJ said.

“No way.” Sophie shook her head. “We still need access to them. We shouldn’t make a move until we know for sure that Zach the Stallion has located the cameras.”

RJ shrugged. “Fine. But we gotta give Zach a new nickname. How about...Zach the Miniature Horse?”

“No,” Sophie said.

“How about Zach the Shy Spy?” I said.

Sophie smiled. “I love it.” She turned to his picture. “You mysterious bastard, you.” She took a step back from the bulletin board. “Okay, Scar. Who do you think it is?”

I stared at the five possibilities. Plus Axel. Plus Mr. Halifax. “I have no clue.”

“What was the last thing the kiss thief texted you?” Liam asked.

I pulled out my phone. “The thing that RJ read out loud.” I clicked on the message. “A boyfriend, huh? Does he know you dream about me when you fall asleep every night? I have a feeling he won’t be your boyfriend for long.”

“And you didn’t respond?”

I shook my head.

“I think we need to put up another kissing booth at this weekend’s game,” Sophie said.

I stared at her like she’d lost her freaking mind. “Absolutely not. The last one exploded. We need a different plan.”

My phone buzzed in my hand. But no one noticed because they’d all started talking about different ideas.

I clicked on the text from Axel.

“You sent me soup.”

I texted him back. “Of course. I always send you soup when you’re sick.”

“Does your boyfriend know you sent me soup?”

I glanced over at Jacob. He was pointing to Mr. Halifax’s picture on the board and Sophie was arguing with him.

“No,” I texted back.

He didn’t respond.

“Are you feeling better?” I texted.

“I always feel better when you send me soup.”

I smiled .

“I think I’d feel even better if you spoon fed it to me though.”

I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t laugh. “I think you can feed yourself just fine.”

“No, I want you to do it. Come over.”

“I can’t, Axel.”

“But I need you.”

My heart raced as I stared at the text. I felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime for Axel to send me a text like this.

Maybe having a fake boyfriend actually was working.

But it had only been one day. I wasn’t ready to call quits on Operation Too Hot to Handle until I knew for sure that Axel really needed me.

And what did he mean by he needed me? Did that even mean he liked me?

I tried not to overthink it and texted him back: “I’m busy right now. Eat your soup.”

“Are you with your boyfriend?”

I looked over at Jacob again. “Yes.”

“Does he know you’re texting me?”

“No. But he wouldn’t care. We’re friends, Axel. We’ll always be friends. Jacob knows that.”

I stared at my phone, waiting for him to respond. But he didn’t.

“I’ve got it!” RJ yelled. “We need to trap him.”

Everyone grew silent.

I quickly exed out of my text thread with Axel.

“Right?” RJ said. “We can organize a trap and unmask him.”

I slowly nodded my head.

“We’ll call it Operation Trap.”

I laughed. “No. We already had an Operation Trap. That’s what led to the hole.” I pointed up at the trapdoor.

“But the name makes sense for this too. We’ll reinstate Operation Trap. All old codenames apply.” He smiled. “Baby doll.”

I groaned.

“So what’s the plan?” Liam asked. “Text the kiss thief a time and place to hookup? And we’ll all be there to beat the shit out of him?”

What?!

“No way,” RJ said. “He’ll see that coming a mile away.”

I was more concerned about the beating my kiss thief up thing...

“We need something more discreet,” RJ said. “Maybe something outside of school, so he doesn’t suspect we’ll all be there watching. He’ll want to make sure Scarlett is alone.”

I nodded. “I’m supposed to go shopping with my mom. I can ask her to go tomorrow night?”

“That’ll work,” he said. “The text you send to the kiss thief has to be very unsuspicious though. Just casually drop the location. Just enough details to make him fall into the trap. And it somehow has to be in response to his last text.”

“On it.” Sophie grabbed my phone and started texting. She handed it back to me.

“What did she say to him?” Jacob asked.

I read the unsent text out loud. “I know I said I wasn’t going to text you anymore but I need your help. I’m going to Odegaard tomorrow after dinner. I want to get something my new boyfriend will like. Any suggestions?” I swallowed hard. It was so provocative. And wrong. I glanced at Jacob .

He folded his arms across his chest. “This guy’s going to think you’re okay with cheating on me.”

“Kind of the plan, man,” RJ said. “It’s a brilliant text. It’ll make him jealous and lure him there. Hit send.”

“Yeah?”

Liam nodded. Then Sophie. And finally Jacob.

“Okay, here goes nothing.” I hit send. “So what’s the plan for the trap?”

“Just wait for it,” RJ said.

I sighed. “I really don’t want to get arrested at Odegaard.”

“We’re not going to get arrested, baby doll. Just wait for it.”