Page 11 of Scarlett and the Fake Boyfriend (Scarlett #2)

She smiled. “Of course. Me too. But at least let me throw some money in the mime’s collection box.”

I tried to stop her, but she was already weaving through the crowd.

I winced as she stared at Jacob for a moment. I couldn’t watch this. I hurried into the store.

RJ cursed in my earpiece. “What is your mom doing?”

“Paying Jacob. Whose idea was it for him to be a mime?” I walked through the ornate entryway where only a few things were on display. I opened the door to the actual shop and walked in. Hopefully my mom would be right behind me.

“It was his idea,” RJ said. “We needed him to do something to not get in trouble for loitering. But I didn’t expect him to draw a crowd.”

“He’s actually pretty good,” Sophie said in my earpiece.

“Soph, where are you?”

“Your three o’clock.”

I turned to my right. All I saw was a very large woman in the lingerie section. She bumped a rack full of lacy bras with her tummy, almost toppling the whole thing over.

“I don’t see you,” I said.

“You’re literally staring right at me.” The woman knocking things over turned to me and waved.

I looked over my shoulder to see who she was waving at.

“It’s me,” Sophie said.

I turned back. “Um...I still don’t see you.”

“I’m in the fat suit.” She knocked something else over with her protruding tummy. “Shit,” she said. “I need to get used to this thing. RJ, I told you we didn’t need to blow it up this much.”

“Shush, you look fabulous,” RJ said. “But you need a pair of heels.”

“I’ll fall over in heels,” Sophie said. “How do you deflate this thing?” She poked at her belly.

“Not you, chunkster.”

Sophie sighed. “I hate my codename.”

I laughed.

“And I was talking to the beautiful brunette I was just assisting in the bikini section.”

I turned around to see RJ in the bikini section.

His hair was styled very high. And he was wearing a flowy button up shirt with the top few buttons undone. And a pair of khakis that were way too tight.

“What the hell are you supposed to be?” I asked.

“Take a guess.”

I really didn’t want to say what I was thinking out loud.

“I’ll give you a hint. My codename is William.” He shimmied over in the bikini section. “Someone touch my butt.”

Liam laughed. “That was a perfect William impression. You’re suspiciously good at being a flamboyant gay man, RJ.”

“Fabulous,” RJ said. “Now shush. All of you. I think this hot lady needs help putting on a bikini. And I am here for it.”

Such a little pervert . “And where is Liam?”

“Right behind you,” he said .

I turned around and almost bumped into a little old man. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t see you there.”

He had a cane and was bent over. “I lost my wife somewhere in this big store,” he said in a southern accent. “Where is the jewelry department? She always runs off to the jewelry department.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t think there is a jewelry department.”

“Shoes then? She’s always looking for sales on shoes.”

“I think it’s over there.”

“Thank you kindly. Would you like a butterscotch?” He pulled out a candy from his pocket and tried to hand it to me. It didn’t even have a wrapper.

Ew. “Um...no thanks.”

The old man laughed and lifted his head.

“Oh my God, Liam?”

He nodded.

I wasn’t sure if it was makeup or fake skin, but he had wrinkles everywhere.

“Your mom is here,” RJ said. “Liam, get out of there!”

Liam hobbled away with his cane.

Okay this was...ridiculous. But I guess between the four of them, they really did have eyes and ears everywhere. If the kiss thief showed, we’d know.

My mom walked over to me. “That mime looked so familiar. But I couldn’t quite place it.”

“Do you often hang out with mimes?”

She laughed. “No. Maybe I saw him at some function with your dad?” She shrugged. “Speaking of your dad...we need to buy you some new pajamas. This way.”

I followed her to a rack in the back.

“Oh my,” my mom said. “I don’t think this was what your dad had in mind.”

The rack was mostly full of silky pajama sets with very short shorts. I laughed and picked up a set. “You don’t think dad would like this?”

“Definitely not.” She grabbed it and put it back. “Maybe I can just go to a department store tomorrow and get you a nice flannel set.”

“It’s not winter.”

“It is to your dad I think.”

We both smiled.

“Well, I do need a homecoming dress,” I said. Homecoming was only a week and a half away.

“Hey,” Sophie said in my ear. “We always go dress shopping together.”

“Well we can’t just abort the mission,” I said. We needed to lure the kiss thief into our trap. And it was the only other thing I needed to shop for right now.

“What did you say about a mission?” my mom asked.

Crap. I was so bad at this earpiece thing. I needed to keep my mouth shut. “It’s going to be quite a mission,” I said. “To pick out a homecoming dress for the first time I have a date to the dance.”

“Mhm,” my mom said.

“Jacob and I haven’t had a chance to talk about colors yet though.”

“And are you sure you’re going with Jacob?”

I just stared at her. “Yes. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Okay.” She kept staring at me.

“Why are you being weird about this?” I asked.

“I’m not being weird. I’m just concerned about you. ”

“Aren’t you happy that I’m happy?”

“Are you happy, though, sweetie?”

“Yes.”

She just stared at me again. “You sound awfully defensive about that.”

“Because it’s like you’re trying to make me say I’m unhappy when that’s not the case. Like when you told me love hurts sometimes. It’s like you want me to be miserable. I’d understand Dad being weird about me having my first boyfriend. But I never thought you’d be weird about it.”

“I know,” my mom said. “I just...” her voice trailed off.

“What, Mom? Just say it. Do you not like Jacob or something? Is that it?”

There was a crashing noise.

“Is that the kiss thief?” RJ shrieked in my earpiece.

My heart started racing as I spun around. And I couldn’t quite explain it, but I knew my kiss thief was here. It was like I could feel his eyes on me. Watching me.