Page 23 of Scandalous Nights With the Earl

‘Was there other family?’

‘No, just him, his wife and three sons. It’s not as if he waspenniless, but he certainly was not as wealthy as Lionel.’

‘So astronomy paid well?’

She shook her head. ‘Not nearly as well as the metals found in a few of the river valleys of Belton. It allowed Lionel the freedom to dabble at anything he wanted.’

‘And what of you? What did you do?’

‘I rode when I could.’

‘In the hours you were not cleaning the house.’

‘You have listened to me well, Lord Elmsworth. I should be more careful with all that I tell you.’

‘I am not your enemy, Wilhelmina.’

‘I know.’

The air around them changed, a stillness pervading, an awareness of each other that was absolute.

‘My mother believed that home is always a place but I am not sure if that is true. Now I might put more weight on people. I imagine it was like that with you and your wife. I hear the stories of your great love…’

She tailed off into silence.

‘Gretel and I were young when we met, so in effect we grew up together, learned to understand the world through the same eyes until…’ He left a gap and could not continue.

Worry suffused her eyes and Phillip thought this version of Wilhelmina St Claire was a different one than he had seen before.

What had changed? He would have liked to ask, but of course he could not.

‘Where did you learn to ride, my lord?’ Her words were quiet.

‘My father had both my brother and I taught at Elmsworth. Our mother had been afraid of horses, you see, and he wanted us to be different, braver, I suppose, and willing to take risks.’

‘And did you?’

He laughed. ‘Many times and often with dire consequences. I broke my arm one summer and Oliver broke his collarbone soon after. There were other scrapes, too, but nothing quite as painful. What of you? How old were you?’

‘I was twenty-two. It was the freedom of speed that I loved the most at first and then it was the power of it. To go anywhere and be anyone, the wind on your face and your breath whipped into energy. It saved me really because it made everything else bearable, and in the country I did not have to ride side-saddle.’

‘Your honesty always surprises me, Mrs St Claire. Usually people are not quite as forthcoming.’

‘My parents believed in a silent stoicism and my husband thought contemplation of the universe required a great many hours, so when I left Belton and my former life there I decided that the currency of communication was something I needed as much as air and water to stay alive and sane.’

‘I admire such perception of your own needs. Most in society have no understanding of what they require to thrive.’

‘Because they are scared to dream? But it’s not a race, I don’t think. All truths form in time if you just know how to listen. When Lionel died I left Winchester as soon as I was able and took the road to London without once looking back, and have found a place here that I like and that is mine.’

So certain. He wished he could be like that, someone who could forge a path and follow it to become different. But it was a false hope and an impossible one. He was chained to Elmsworth, to its history and to his title and to all that had happened because of it. He took a step back.

‘I have been invited to a masquerade ball to be held at Lord and Lady Duggan’s next week. Are you attending?’

‘I am, my lord. It is one of the bright spots in the Season’s calendar, and a masked soirée is so full of secrets. One canbe anything one wants, so there is a certain mystery present, I suppose.’

‘I shall not ask what you shall come as, then, Mrs St Claire.’

‘And if you did I would not tell you.’