Page 24 of Saved by the Cruel Highlander (Lairds of the Loch Alliance #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“ W hat was that?” Holly uttered as she sat up in bed. “How long have I been asleep?”

She immediately got out of bed and dressed herself, looking out the window to find the moon high in the sky. She didn’t know what irked her, but something troubled her mind.

“I cannae shake the feelin’ that me dreams left in me when I woke. I dinnae ken what’s gotten into me.”

Her thoughts immediately went to Cole. They might have gone to Elias first, but she knew if there was anyone in the castle capable of taking care of themself, it was him.

She pulled on her boots, grabbed a shawl, and grabbed the lantern from the table, lighting it with matches. She left the room, holding the lantern out in front of her.

“Cole?” she whispered. “Please be safe. Let me be imaginin’ that somethin’ is wrong.”

The castle was full, but most were asleep. Some would be awake, mainly down in the kitchens and those who were working around the clock to make everything perfect for the wedding, but the castle’s interior was silent. Holly padded down the stone corridor, straining her ears for any sign of danger.

She went straight to Cole’s room. He had been given a small room not far from hers and a simple bed. Upon seeing it, he declared that it was the best bedroom he had ever seen.

Holly got to his door, and it was slightly ajar as usual. She listened for a second before pushing it open with her free hand. She moved quietly into the room, not wanting to wake the boy if he were sound asleep. She saw his shape first and then his pale skin as the lantern light fell on it.

“Och, ye look like an angel in yer sleep. Ye are a bonny, wee lad.” Holly watched him for a moment more before she retreated and closed the door.

Still, something inside warned her of danger. She walked through the hallways, hoping to find what troubled her.

“Felix is gone now. I’m safe. Elias took care of it. He took care of me.”

Since she had gone to seek the Laird’s help, she had not been worried one bit about Felix. She should have been. He was gone now, so there was really no need to worry.

Holly was drawn downstairs. She held the lantern out in front of her, feeling like a woman in a ghost story she had once read, wandering a castle with a lantern only to discover at the end of the story that she had been dead all along.

What am I doin’? Will I wander the entire castle lookin’ for danger? There are guards for that, and the castle isnae empty. A noise must have woken me.

Then, the smell hit her. It was the most delicious smell she had ever smelled, and she could not turn back now. It came from the kitchens, and it was a smell she had not encountered before—perhaps something for the wedding. The wedding was still a few days off, so maybe a trial run of something.

An unexpected and the oddest thought occurred to her. She had a mind to go to the kitchens and ask to try whatever they were baking. She was, after all, the lady of the castle. Maybe not officially, but she would be, and she knew she earned respect through that.

Aye, I’ll go to the kitchens and investigate, and enjoy whatever delight the cooks have whipped up.

Holly licked her lips, and the source of her concern was revealed. She had not seen Ollie in four days, and there he was, emerging from the kitchen.

“There ye are, ye rascal. Where have ye been?” she asked.

Ollie looked over at her as he stumbled toward her.

“Are ye so fat on mice that ye cannae even make it to me?”

Holly gasped when he suddenly flopped to the side. She ran to him, placing the lantern on the floor. He didn’t look fat on mice. She wasn’t sure how he looked. She couldn’t focus on anything else except for the foam dripping from his mouth.

Holly did the only thing she could think of at that moment—she screamed.

Elias left the healing room. Holly sat on a chair outside, her head in her hands. She could only think the worst, and it had been so long since she had carried Ollie down to the room. The longer it took to get any news, the worse the news was.

When she looked up at the Laird, he had a storm brewing on his face. “The coward!”

“What?” she begged.

“It must have been him,” Elias said. “I dinnae ken how, but it must have been a partin’ act to cause trouble. I’ll scour the castle to find out if he had help. He must’ve. I cannae believe I let this happen to ye, to Ollie.”

“Who did it?” Holly asked. “Ye think Felix poisoned him?”

“It has to be,” he replied. “He meant to poison ye, and he spoke about killin’ both me and ye, but he couldnae get to us. I dinnae ken if he had coin on him when he was caught. It’s the only thing I can think of. He bribed someone to poison Ollie. Nay one in the castle would dare hurt ye, but the cat? Aye.”

“Poor Ollie,” Holly moaned. “He only wanted to chase mice, and now he’s dead.”

“Nay, yer cat isnae dead. He’s sufferin’, but Cassandra tells me he will live. She’s givin’ him some water and tryin’ to get him to eat some herbs mixed in with some fish. Yer cat is a hardy one.”

Holly leaped up from the chair and wrapped her arms around Elias. “Och, thank ye!”

Elias chuckled as he hugged her back. “What are ye thankin’ me for?”

Holly laughed along with him. “I dinnae ken. I’m just so happy he’s alive. When I saw him fall to the floor, and then the stuff comin’ out of his mouth… Me goodness, that’s what would have happened to me. I’m nae ready to lose him, Elias. He’s got so much more life to live.”

“And he will,” Elias said. “He’ll be a part of our castle for a long time.”

“Och, me nerves,” Holly said. “Me hands are shakin’.”

“Do ye want me to take ye back to yer room?” Elias asked. “So ye can get some sleep?”

“Nay,” Holly said. “I willnae be able to sleep tonight. I’ll mayhap get some tea and wait for news of Ollie.”

“Then I’ll have tea with ye,” Elias said.

“Ye will?” Holly asked. “Ye need to sleep, too.”

“Aye, and I will, but I cannae leave ye like this. Come on, we’ll have some tea, and mayhap we’ll both feel sleepy after. There’s nothin’ to be done for Ollie except waitin’.”

Holly kissed him on the cheek. “Thank ye.”

She took his arm on the way to the kitchens, afraid she might fall if left to walk alone. Her entire body was still shaking from the shock.

When they got to the kitchens, the Laird ordered one of the maids to make some tea. Everyone in the kitchens was still there when the Laird and his wife-to-be remained to eat and drink. The Laird was not there to observe them, but they worked quicker and more efficiently as if he were.

The one thing that tipped the balance of the night back toward the center after the poisoning was the Laird’s request that they be cut some of the mead-soaked fruit cake. The same cake Holly had smelled before running into Ollie.

As a large slice was placed before her, her mouth watered. She couldn’t wait for the tea, so she broke off a warm piece. It tasted like nectar in her mouth.

“This might be the best thin’ I’ve ever tasted,” Holly said with her mouth full. “Ye have to try some.”

The Laird picked some up, half of the cooks watching, and he tried it. “Och, it’s delicious. Ye’ve all done a braw job.”

After that, the cooks turned back and talked more with each other.

“This is me fault,” Holly said.

“Nay,” the Laird insisted.

“I should’ve told ye sooner about Felix. I thought he would be done with me when he kenned I was yers, but he wasnae, was he?”

“What’s done is done, and the important thing is that we are all safe,” Elias said.

“What if he had done somethin’ to Cole, too?” Holly asked. “What if he had found out how attached I am to the bairn and found a way to poison him? I couldnae live with meself.”

“But he didnae,” Elias pointed out. “Cole is safe.”

“Aye, he is.” Holly managed a wry smile. “What will happen to him?”

“To Cole?” Elias asked.

Holly nodded as the tea was brought to them.

“I dinnae ken yet,” Elias admitted.

“Does he nae feel like family?” Holly asked. “I ken I cannae ask anythin’ of ye after everythin’ ye have done for me, but he doesnae have a maither or faither anymore, and ye’ve seen the way he’s grown attached to us.”

“To ye,” Elias corrected.

“Nay, nae only to me. He loves ye, Elias. Did ye see the way he hugged yer leg? He feels safe with ye, and he tries to be more like ye every day.”

“I dinnae want to think about that right now,” Elias said. “I have other things to think about.”

“I ken ye do, but ye have to think about it sometime,” Holly told him. She reached out and took his hand. “We’ll start a family soon, but what if we had a headstart? We could be a family now.”

“Who said I wanted a family?” Elias asked, pulling his hand away.

“Well, of course, we’ll have a family,” Holly said. “That’s why we’re gettin’ married.”

“Nay!” Elias stated, earning some side glances from the cooks nearby. “Nay, the reason we are gettin’ married is because a man wanted to kill ye.”

“Aye, I ken, but it’s more than that now, is it nae?” Holly asked.

“We both lost our families,” Elias said. “What do we ken about family?”

“That doesnae mean anythin’,” Holly told him.

“It doesnae mean anythin’? Yer faither was killed, and so were me parents. Is that the kind of world ye want to bring a child into?”

“It’s nae fair to put it like that,” Holly said. She worried now that everything had been a massive mistake. “We’re nae our parents, and Cole needs someone to love him.”

“Aye, I needed someone to love me, and I ended up murderin’ me braither!”

The kitchen fell silent. Not because the cooks had stopped working and were staring at them, but because they’d all had the good sense to leave.

Holly didn’t know how to respond to that. She stared at him, open-mouthed.

“Aye, I murdered him,” Elias continued. “He murdered me parents, and”—he pointed to the scar above his eye—“gave me this, and I murdered him with me bare hands in return. I took a chair leg in me rage and beat him to death with it to spare meself. Death! That is all me family is. And the more death I cause in the name of protectin’ me clan, the more they call me a monster.”

Holly was silent for a moment before she said, “Nay.”

“Nay?” Elias scoffed. “With the rage inside me, it’s nay wonder they call me a monster.”

“Aye, maybe,” Holly said. “But it’s nae the death that ye bring that makes them say that. It’s the way ye behave since it happened.”

“How am I supposed to behave?” Elias challenged.

“I honestly dinnae ken,” Holly admitted. “Ye’re right to be angry and enraged and bitter, but ye’re nae right nae to let anyone in or to try somethin’ that might bring more pain. It’s nae anythin’ to do with yer sword, but the look in yer eyes and the sharpness of yer tongue—which I presume has plagued ye since that day. I ken ye blame yerself.”

“I dinnae regret what I did.”

“Aye, but ye blame yerself fully for three deaths and nae only one, as justified as it was.”

“Aye, well, I couldnae save them,” Elias said.

“Nay one could,” Holly said. “Ye did the only thing to deliver justice—ye killed him afore he could kill ye. That’s right, is it nae? I can see it in yer eyes. What would have happened if ye hadnae done it? He would have become the Laird and led the clan, but he wouldnae have led it like ye do. There would have been more death and despair if his actions were anythin’ to go by. It was right that ye killed him, even if ye have been carryin’ it around for years.”

Elias was silent.

“Elias?” Holly prompted. “It had to be done, did it nae? Just like Felix had to be killed.”

“Aye,” Elias agreed. “He kidnapped me. I woke up bound to a chair, and he told me how he had killed them both. He was jealous of me, and he wanted everythin’ for himself. He meant to torture me. He wanted me to ken that he killed our parents, and for me to feel helpless about it. That was his mistake. He should have killed me quickly. He let me endure, and I finally tore me bonds and beat him to death with a chair leg. I still cannae remember it. I remember the sound of the chair as it cracked, and then his lifeless eyes as I looked down at him, blood-soaked like I have never seen before or since.”

“Good,” Holly said.

Elias squinted his eyes. “Good?”

“Aye,” Holly said. “Ye did what was right. If ye hadnae, I wouldnae be here with ye today. I would likely be dead, but how many others in yer clan would be dead? How many others would he kill to get what he wanted? Ye kill to protect, but he killed to assume more power, and ye ken that. Ye cannae keep blamin’ yerself, when ye have saved so many who willnae ever ken that they needed savin’.”

“Ye would be dead,” Elias said, rocked by the thought. “I could never have saved me parents. There was nothin’ I could do for them, but ye are right. Me braither would have killed countless more to cover up what he did and get what he wanted. Cassandra would be dead. She has always been me friend, and I ken he resented that. And the councilmen. He would have killed them and designated a whole new council of men loyal only to him. And there would be nay alliances with the other clans, and more war and fightin’, and… who kens what else.”

“Ye have always killed to protect the ones ye love, and I ken ye must have loved yer braither, but ye killed him to save yer entire clan, Elias. Ye might struggle with that, but I ken and ye ken that it’s true.”

Elias took a deep breath but did not respond.

They sat in silence, eating the delicious cake and drinking the sweet tea.

Holly thought about what the Laird had gone through, and it brought her some clarity. She loved Ollie, and she was overjoyed he was still alive. However, what she went through with Ollie paled in comparison to the loss of the Laird’s parents and brother, of her own parents. That thought made her feel tired – not only physically, but also emotionally.

There was nothing she could do for Ollie that night, and the more rested she was, the better she could help in the morning.

On cue, Holly yawned. She looked at the Laird, unsure how long they had been sitting together. There were no windows in the kitchen, but it felt late and dark.

“Come on,” Elias said. “I’ll take ye up to yer room.”

“Aye,” Holly said.

“And Holly… thank ye.”