Page 18 of Saved by the Cruel Highlander (Lairds of the Loch Alliance #1)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“ I t needs somethin’ more,” Elias said.

He stood before the mirror in his room as his valet added the finishing touches to his clothing.

“Mayhap the silver thistle pin for yer cape, Me Laird?” the valet suggested.

Elias wore his riding breeches, woolen socks, and a linen shirt. His leather jerkin gave some padding—something he had no intention of needing. His boots were strong, and the plain riding cape showed off the colors of his clan.

“Aye, the silver pin will do just the job,” he said. “I believe we are done. Thank ye.”

“Ye’re welcome, Me Laird,” the valet replied. He had a wary look in his eyes.

The Laird strode out of his room and headed for the stairs. It was only as he was descending that he realized what the look was for. The valet was not used to such words from him; a grunt was usually the most he was offered.

And what of it? Should it be strange that I thank the man for a job well done?

The job was well done, and the Laird looked good, ready for a day of riding. He walked down the long hallway toward the rear of the castle. As he approached the rear exit, he heard two people talking.

“… is why the cook willnae be here for long, and—” Eliza stopped talking, and her mouth dropped open when she saw him approaching.

“Off with ye both,” he ordered. “I willnae have gossip in me castle.”

“Aye, Me Laird,” both maids said with a curtsey.

They looked surprised, also, not to receive harsher words. It annoyed the Laird that gruffness and anger were expected of him. Why should he act a certain way? Why couldn’t he act as he pleased?

He walked out into the brisk morning air and took a deep breath. The day would eventually grow warmer, but there was a chill in the air for now. He walked over the dew-covered grass, his boots becoming wet.

He spotted Holly before she spotted him. She stood with her back to the wall of the stables, and she looked up either toward the towers or the sky above. She had a small smile on her face and was playing with a flower.

She was a sight to behold. It was the smile on her lips that brought him the most joy. He supposed that her lips themselves had also brought him great joy, though that joy had been cut short on two occasions.

The plan was to take her out riding and get to know her better before the wedding, and take her somewhere they would not be disturbed so he could kiss her properly.

Holly wore a riding dress that clung to her body, leaving nothing to his imagination. He started at her calves and moved up, tracing a curve over her luscious rear and up to her breasts below her riding coat. The coat covered everything, but the shape of them was there. He had taken them in his hands over her dress, and it had left him wanting more. He could still feel the stiffness of her nipples as he had run his fingers over them.

Holly finally looked his way when he was ten paces from her. She smiled at him.

“I wasnae sure if ye would come,” she admitted.

“Why would I nae?” Elias asked. “I was the one who invited ye to ride last night, and I never break a promise.”

“Aye, I ken, but ye are often so busy with clan business,” Holly noted.

“Aye, but I cannae always deal with clan business. I need to have some time away from the castle, and I’m happy to share it with ye.”

“Then I am a lucky lass,” she said. “Ye took me to the market two days ago, and now ye are takin’ me out again.”

“I want to ken ye afore the weddin’,” Elias said.

As he looked at her, he realized that it wasn’t only the prospect of another kiss and more but also the prospect of being in her company.

“It’s a braw day to go ridin’,” Holly admitted.

“I’ve had them pack us a basket for luncheon,” the Laird said. “Let’s get goin’.”

When they entered the stables, the stable hand ran over and greeted them. Two horses had been saddled, the Laird’s steed and a smaller horse that might keep up with him if Holly could ride well. Elias helped her up onto her horse before he mounted his, then led them out of the stables.

They trotted out of the stables, through the open area to the right of the courtyard, and then through the main gates. Elias took it slow over the first half mile of the road and then looked back at Holly. He nodded to her and smiled. When he looked back ahead, he flicked the reins and geed up his horse.

His steed obeyed the command and took off, its hooves thundering on the packed earth. The Laird rode at half speed, testing his wife-to-be, and when he glanced behind after a few minutes of riding, he saw her still shadowing him.

Elias smiled some more. She could keep up with him so far. He pushed his horse a little faster, its hooves kicking up clouds of brown dirt. When he reached the meadow, he steered his horse to the right and onto the grass.

The beast liked the softer ground, and its head bobbed up and down as it gained speed. Yellow and white daisies sprinkled the grass, and small tufts of longer grass grew upward in patches. Elias pushed on toward the heather-covered foothills, putting the castle far behind him.

When he got to the top of the short incline, a crystal loch lay in the short distance, surrounded by trees on one side, a mountain towering over it in the distance beyond. The gray-purple peak of the mountain was perfectly reflected in the water. A large ring bubbled in the water; something was down below. Behind the loch, a stag was eating grass. It lifted its head, likely still chewing, and looked over at the Laird. He stared back for a second before turning his horse to face the way he had come.

Holly rushed toward him on her horse, laughing as she got there. Elias pulled on the reins and steered his horse past her before circling her.

“Nae bad,” he commented, before pulling on the reins to urge his horse forward again.

He heard Holly’s joyful screams as she tried to catch up to him, but the wind roaring in his ears drowned out their exact meaning. He had never felt more free when he rode his horse. Free of his duties as Laird, free of the past, free of the stares, and free of the knowledge of what he had done.

He didn’t shirk his responsibility as a laird and knew the people respected him, but it had been thrust upon him instead of chosen. At times, he doubted himself.

But not that morning. As his horse hit top speed, he didn’t have a care in the world. The morning was cold, but the beast was warm, and nothing else needed to make sense.

He often went out riding by himself to clear his head, but his head was equally cleared with Holly accompanying him. He could still see her face in the market when he had bought her the ribbons, and he knew he had done something good.

I’ve never been one to think of meself as good. I’m strong, fair, protective, just… but can I be good?

Elias urged his horse on, taking them to the water. If it got warm enough later, he might go for a swim. He wondered if Holly would join him. She had certainly matched him in many ways so far.

He brought the horse to a halt and led it to the water to drink. He crouched down beside his steed and cupped his hands in the water to quench his thirst. He took a last handful of water and splashed it on his face to cool himself. Then, he took his horse back to a tree and tethered it.

Holly joined them a moment later.

“Ach, ye’re here,” he called. “I was just about to go back. I finished the picnic and everythin’.”

“Och, ye are a rotter,” she shouted back.

Elias smiled and helped her down from her horse, taking her by the waist, their bodies close as he lowered her onto the ground.

Patience, Elias. Ye have the whole day.

From the way she looked at him, he could see that she wanted exactly what he was prepared to give her. He let go of her and took her horse to tether it to the tree, beside his steed. Then, he returned to her with the basket.

“I took a drink from the loch,” he said. “It’s crisp and fresh.”

“Aye?” Holly asked. She looked at him, wondering if he was jesting with her.

Elias raised his eyebrows in response. Holly took it as a sign that he was being honest, and she went down to the water while he unpacked the blanket and food. Elias almost burst out laughing when he saw her on all fours by the water’s edge, getting her face close and scooping the water up with one hand.

Two thoughts came to his mind. The first was what a positively brilliant rear she had. The second was that if he ran over there and nudged her ever so gently with his boot, she would plunge face-first into the water. He decided against it, sure that she would not find it as funny as it was in his mind.

Elias laid out the blanket and placed two plates before balancing two clay mugs. He brought out oatcakes, cheeses, cured and roast meats, fruits, nuts, honey, jam, butter (lots of butter), and pastries. There was a small flagon of ale and a sheepskin of water. The water from the loch was far better than any water in the sheepskin.

“Looks braw,” Holly said as she returned. “I’m nae hungry yet, but I’m sure I’ll be famished soon enough.”

“Come and sit for a while,” Elias said. “I like to look out at the loch on days like this.”

“Ye come here a lot, do ye nae?” Holly asked as she sat beside him. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“Aye, I do,” he replied.

Her head on his shoulder was a simple act, yet it filled him with warmth, more than he’d ever gotten from his horse.

They sat in silence for a while, gazing at the clear water. Elias knew that large trout inhabited the loch. Deer and hares roamed the mountainside behind them, and the sweetest birdsong always came from the trees near the loch.

“This is really nice,” Holly said after a while. “I’m glad ye brought me here.”

“Aye, I am, too. I thought we should get to ken each other more afore we are wed—and to tell ye the truth, I like spendin’ time with ye.”

“I like spendin’ time with ye, too.”

“We still need to decide what to do with the lad,” Elias reminded her.

“Aye, I ken.”

Holly didn’t say any more than that, but he could see she had taken a shine to the boy. When they were married, he would give her children of her own to care for, and she would love them so much. She treated Cole so well that there was no doubt in his mind that she would treat their children better than anyone else ever could.

As he thought about it, a shiver ran through him. His family was gone. His brother had snapped one day and gone insane, and because of what? He would never know.

Can I do it? Can I start a family? After everythin’ I’ve gone through, can I take that risk?

Elias felt the past churning inside him. His future sat beside him. They were in battle in the present, and he didn’t know which way the battle would go. He only knew that he couldn’t go through pain like that again, nor subject anyone else to it.

“Are ye all right?” Holly asked. “I can feel the tension in yer body.”

“Me maither and faither used to take us here.”

The words surprised Elias. He had not meant to say them out loud and had only been thinking them until she spoke. Now that they were out, there was no taking them back.

“When we were bairns, and still when we were bairns nay longer. That’s why I come here—to remember them.”

Holly took his hand. “It’s good to remember the past.”

“Nay, I dinnae want to remember it,” Elias growled. “I dinnae want the pain.”

Holly squeezed his hand.

“He killed them,” Elias said.

As soon as the words were out, he wanted to take them back. He didn’t want to talk to anyone about it.

“Who?” Holly asked.

It felt like witchcraft. She spoke softly and held him tenderly, and her words teased out his as if he were under a spell.

“Me braither,” Elias admitted. “He killed them both.”

Holly still held his hand but didn’t reply.

He knew his body was tense, and he could feel the tension in hers. He looked out over the loch—the water was pulled as taut as his skin.

“I should have stopped him,” he continued. “I couldnae. I didnae ken about it until it was done. He captured a snake. Can ye believe that? A snake! He was the snake. He trapped it, transported it, then used it to scare me faither’s horse and throw me faither clean off it. An ugly way to die and an ugly way to kill. There was nay honor in it, but then there was never any honor in him. I ken that now. I didnae ken it until it was too late.

“And me maither? He killed her with his bare hands. Another dishonorable death. He strangled her and made it look like she’d killed herself. He killed both of them and he… enjoyed it. He felt nay regret for what he had done. Me own braither! I dinnae understand how he could do such a thing. He loved them—I ken he loved them. He loved them, and he still did it. He killed them.”

Holly still held his hand. She was in shock, speechless. She had told him about her parents and the shocking way they had been killed, and she had wanted to know his pain, and now she did. They had both faced loss, but her father’s death, while horrible, had been noble. Her mother’s, too.

“I’m sorry ye had to go through that,” she said.

She placed her hand on the back of his head and ran her fingers through his hair. She moved her hand around and touched his scar.

He flinched.

“Is that how ye got this?” she asked timidly.

It was too much for him. It had taken everything in him to talk about his parents, and he couldn’t take it anymore. It was the first time he had spoken about his past with anyone, and it sapped his energy while stoking his anger.

He quickly turned his head to look away from her. “Dinnae touch me!”