Page 19 of Saved by the Cruel Highlander (Lairds of the Loch Alliance #1)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

H olly knew he was hurting. She could feel his pain—it radiated from him and through her. She looked at the back of his head as he turned away from her, and she didn’t want him to feel that way anymore. She couldn’t do anything about it. It was the pain he had felt since his parents had passed, and he would always live with it, just as she lived with her pain.

She let go of his hand, picked up one of the cups, and filled it with ale. She passed it to him as he kept looking away, then poured a small amount into her cup and drank it.

Nay wonder he is so angry all the time. The people have nay right to call him beastly. The man lost his family, and he can be as angry as he likes.

Holly was angry all the time, but she hid it. The Laird had suffered worse than she had. How would she feel if she had a sibling who’d killed her parents? She would become beastly, she was sure of it.

Does that mean his braither is still alive somewhere? He told me his braither gave him the scar, but he told me nothin’ else.

Holly picked up one of the plates, added some meat, cheese, and oatcakes to it, and passed it to him.

“Eat somethin’,” she ordered.

Elias let out a short laugh through his nose, and it made her happy. He was not completely desolate.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

He turned to face the loch again and took a bite of meat.

“Nothin’,” he replied. “Only that ye must be learnin’ from Cassandra. There arenae many who give me orders.”

“Well, now there are two.” Holly folded her arms over her chest and smiled.

She looked out at the clear loch and imagined swimming in there with the Laird. It had been cold when she had scooped some water to drink, but perhaps the cold would wash away their pain for a while.

“I’ve learned a lot from her since I arrived at the castle,” Holly admitted. “Nae just how to give ye orders, but also lots about botany. Nae as much recently since Cole arrived.”

“Aye, he can be a handful, but ye care for him well,” Elias said. “I dinnae think we’ll ever find his parents.”

“Nay,” Holly agreed.

They hadn’t spoken about it yet, but she knew they would have to make a decision about the boy soon. She wished they could keep him, and she could look after him, but it was not fair to ask that of Elias.

“Poor lad,” Elias said. “I cannae imagine what he’s goin’ through right now.”

“I ken,” Holly murmured. “It’s a good thing that he ran into us in the woods and nae someone else. It’s a good thing that he ran into anyone afore he died. Can ye imagine that? A bairn alone in the woods, just sittin’ there? He wouldnae have moved if it werenae for Ollie. He’s nae quite a beast, is he?”

“I dinnae ken,” Elias said with a smile. “I saw him the other day tearin’ into a mouse. I guess it depends on the size of yer opponent whether ye are a beast or nae.”

There was a moment of silence before Holly said, “I dinnae think ye are a beast, Elias.”

Elias was silent. He held a bite of cheese over his mouth, hesitated, and then ate it, not replying to her comment.

Do ye nae believe me, or do ye want to be a beast because it makes it easier to hide yer pain?

After Elias ate the cheese, he changed the subject. “Ye have quite an interest in botany. I’ve seen ye spendin’ quite some time with Cassandra. I like that, as she’s always been like a sister to me. It’s important for me that the two of ye get on. Have ye always been interested in botany and healin’?”

“Nay, nae always,” Holly explained. “It’s only since—” She shut her mouth.

What was she supposed to say? The truth?

“What are ye hidin’?” Elias demanded.

“What? Nothin’,” Holly blurted.

“I can see it on yer face, Holly. Ye’re hidin’ somethin’ from me, and ye are terrified to tell me. Why are ye so interested in botany?”

“Nay reason,” Holly managed, taking a sip of her ale to calm her nerves.

“She told me some of the stuff ye’ve been askin’ about, and I didnae think anythin’ of it until now, but ye have me wonderin’. Will ye tell me?”

“There’s nothin’ to tell.” Holly could feel her voice cracking.

“Ye’ve been askin’ about poisons. Now, I dinnae think ye are the malicious type, but ye’re hidin’ something from me. Is that yer plan, Holly? Do ye mean to poison me and run away with me money?”

“Nay!” Holy gasped. “I would never do such a thing. I… well, ye ken that I was betrothed before I was betrothed to ye.”

“Aye, I remember that well, but I dinnae ken what that has to do with me. Am I goin’ to live to regret agreein’ to wed ye?”

“Nay, there’s nothin’… Just give me a second to explain.” Holly sighed through her nose and took another sip of her ale. “Before I was promised to ye, I was promised to Felix. I was never in love with him. I thought he was a good man, but he isnae. I caught him in town one day, talking to someone. That’s when I heard his true plans. I didnae lie to ye about him wantin’ to take me money. I found out he had a lover and they planned to live together.”

The words spilled out of her.

“His plan was to wed me and then poison me, but to do it slowly, so as nae to draw suspicion. Then, he would take me money and live with his lover. That’s why I wanted to ken about poison and its effects and what might cure me. It’s in case he tries to do somethin’.”

“Ye think he still wants to poison ye?” Elias asked, his face darkening.

“Nay, I dinnae think so, but I want to be safe. Now that I’m promised to ye, he willnae try anythin’. I’m sure of it.”

“So, that’s why ye wanted to wed me? I’m what? Yer armor?”

“Nay,” Holly gasped. “I mean, aye, kind of. I needed a way out because I couldnae let him ken that I kenned, or he might have done it. But if he kenned that he could never get me money, he would leave me alone. And ye need to wed anyway, so we both get somethin’ out of this—and I ken we should get wed. I like bein’ with ye, Elias. It was all for convenience at first, and many folks get married for that reason, but it’s more than that now, is it nae? I mean, we do like each other, do we nae?”

Elias’s nostrils flared as her words sank in. His face was so red that a dip in the water might not be a bad idea.

“I wanted ye to ken now,” Holly continued, “that I could have kept it from ye, and we would have still wed, but I told ye because ye deserve to ken. I only kept it from ye when I first met ye in case ye said nay to me. I couldnae take the risk. I ken that wasnae honest of me, but I was worried he would kill me. Now that he kens I’m yers, he’ll leave me be. I want to forget all about him, Elias.”

“Aye, is that so?” Elias asked.

“Aye.”

He turned to her. “Ye want to forget all about Felix Grant?”

“I already have,” Holly said. “I don’t think about him when I’m with ye.”

“Is that so?”

“Aye.” Holly looked toward the water and blushed. “When I’m with ye, ye make me think of very little except for ye.”

Elias chuckled. He looked at her, and she lowered her head. What she said was the truth. How could she think about anyone else when in the presence of someone like the Laird?

“Well, if ye cannae think about anythin’ or anyone else when ye are with me, I’ll have to leave ye with somethin’ that will help ye forget about any other man when ye arenae with me.”

“Wh-What will ye do to me?” Holly asked.

“I’ll make ye feel what nay other man can,” Elias said.