Brace
When I checked the list on my datapad for a third time, even I knew at that point that it was because I was nervous. What was I doing, leaving the Varakartoom to accompany Ruby? We’d be stuck inside the tiny living quarters of the Finix for quite some time, just the two of us. The primal side of me, which was very present nowadays, was pleased with this arrangement. Rationally, I knew it was a risk—a big one. I could only control the rage and my instincts for so long. Once she saw the real me, she’d be terrified.
I still couldn’t believe how fearless she’d been back in the captain’s ready room. When she discovered I had been in the shadows behind her, her pulse had leaped, but her scent had never turned sour with fear. Groaning, I pressed my fist to my cock and urged it to stand down. She’d been intrigued, she’d smelled like a female in heat. I had to forget about that, but I couldn’t. She was gravid ; she wouldn’t be interested in another male right now.
Thinking of the round curve of her pregnant belly did nothing to cool the heat running through my veins. I shrugged out of the cumbersome cloak that covered my body, hiding it from view. Nobody needed to see the scars on my back or be reminded of my violent past. My pelt, combined with the cloak, made me overheat, and I panted, hands braced on the edge of the tiny galley counter inside Ruby’s ship.
Forcing myself to think of things to cool my ardor took a minute, but when I remembered the data Asmoded had given me, that did the trick. He’d figured out who the father of Ruby’s baby was, or rather, Dravion the doctor had. I wasn’t happy with the doctor’s betrayal of my female’s trust, but I understood that his loyalty, like mine always had been, was solidly with the captain.
It was a Kertinal father ; that was knowledge any doctor could glea n with a simple medical scan. You had to have a sample of DNA to compare to in order to know the exact male who had gotten Ruby pregnant. Dravion had had that sample because we’d run into this male several times before —f ought him , so that his blood had ended up on the armor of one of us at least once. I curled my lips, baring my sharp teeth until I was snarling loud enough to rattle the jars lined up inside the cabinets. Opening my maw even wider, my mouth filled with saliva as I considered what it would be like to take a bite out of the bastard.
Knowing who he was, I was convinced he’d hurt Ruby. Which meant I had to be extra careful not to scare her. I had to dig inside myself until I found my gentle side, the one not tainted by my rage. How could I do that when the thought of that bastard made my blood boil? The counter creaked beneath my fists, warning me that I was dangerously close to warping the metal edge with my tight grip. I snapped my mouth shut with a click and jerked away from the counter, my back colliding with the wall behind me , which was much closer than I expected it to b e. This galley wasn’t made to fit a fully grown Hoxiam in his prime.
At the sound of voices , I rushed to yank my cloak back on, my breathing coming in labored bursts. The rage was subsiding , though; I could hear Ruby’s cheerful tones , and there was not a single part of me that wished her to see me in a rage. Instincts, body, mind, we were all aligned on that , which was a first in a very long time.
From the sounds of it, Ruby was not alone; she was accompanied by Elyssa and Harper. I could hear how Elyssa was singing my praises, which warmed me and bothered me at the same time. I appreciated that my childhood friend still thought so highly of me and that she was eager to convince Ruby of my goodness. But I knew I didn’t deserve it. If Elyssa knew half the things I’d done after I’d been moved to a different stable, or some of the things that had come after I’d escaped, she would shun me; she wouldn’t want to be my friend. Ruby wouldn’t say, “I know,” when I told her not to fear anything; she’d turn and run the other way.
“When you guys reach Rumcas, you have to give us a call. Okay?” Harper said. “We want to know you made it safely! And you need to stay in touch when you settle in on Ker. We’re friends now, understood?” Ruby didn’t respond to that with anything but sniffles, and they were echoed by the others , from the sound of it. Suddenly, my sensitive nose picked up more than their scents, I tasted salt on my tongue. Stars, they were crying! Why were they crying? Was Ruby hurt?
Frantic with worry, I forgot all about hiding, about sticking to the shadows. I stuck my head out of the galley before I’d even fully assured myself that my hood was on right. The three women weren’t far away, clustered together in the narrow hallway. They were embracing, and Elyssa was tugging gently on one of Ruby’s braids. I thought maybe she was teasing her, but then I saw the watery smile on my mate’s face. Why were they crying and smiling at the same time?
“I’ll stay in touch!” Ruby assured them eventually, her voice all choked up , as if she couldn’t get enough air. “I’ve been so alone all this time . I can’t believe it took what I thought was a pirate attack to find friends…” The three of them laughed, and then Harper and Elyssa were leaving. My Elrohirian friend flashed her eyes up to my doorway once, very quickly. Letting me know she’d seen me, that she knew I was there. She did not say goodbye, did not point out my presence to the others, and then they were gone, ducking into the airlock to go back to the Varakartoom .
I was alone with Ruby. The hairs on my back rose in a primal, visceral response to that knowledge. My gut churned as I fought the urge to close the distance and sweep her into my arms, so I could claim her. This was going to go wrong; I should never have agreed to this, insisted on this. Too late now. The airlock had cycled, and my comm was announcing the departure of the Varakartoom in Aramon’s cheerful voice.
***
Ruby
Once Harper and Elyssa had left, I stood in the Finix ’s familiar hallway and listened to the sounds of the ship. It had been my home for the past nine years, ever since I’d recklessly flown her from the Alpha Quadrant to here, the Zeta Quadrant. It had been a three - year journey, as I’d had to stop along the way , trading and picking up cargo wherever I went. Swapping in and out crew the further I came , until I didn’t recognize the species any longer. But I’d learned . I’d adapted.
I gazed around the quiet ship, her engines idling sof tly as she kept herself from drifting from her current position. The Finix was big and clunky, but most of her size came from the holds. The living quarters and the bridge were tiny. So where could my new crew member be hiding? He had to be here, or the shuttle wouldn’t have left. My heart skipped a beat as I contemplated what this meant for me.
I was now officially alone with a stranger, with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. No, that wasn’t strictly true. Having made the Finix my home for as long as I had, I knew every nook and cranny, every hiding place. That was why I’d discovered that blasted Kanfray only two days ago. There were plenty of places I could crawl into for safety , places a guy as big as a Hoxiam — especially this Hoxiam — would never fit. I didn’t think I’d need them.
Turning my gaze along the narrow hallway, I assessed the metal hatch that separated it from the bridge at the end. There were two hallways just like this, identical, both with an airlock for docking , a nd doors that led off these hallways to the shared head, the galley, and the sleeping quarters : a bunkroom for crew, and one stateroom for the captain.
Peering into the open galley as I passed, I saw nobody there, and the door to the bunkroom was also open, but there was no sign of my protector. I knew with certainty that he’d never have gone into my private room, and that door was locked anyway. Tha t left the bridge, but to my surprise, the small command center was empty too. As the heart of the ship — even if it was located in the bow — this was where I spent most of my time. I knew every scratch, line, and groove on the walls and ceiling. I k new every single button and system.
I’d started out as a pilot, much to the displeasure of my mother, who woul d have preferred that I study to be come a doctor or an accountant. She had wanted me home, but I’d always had the wanderlust, even before the fires that had made going home impossible. Eyeing the pilot seat, which had previously belonged to the young Sune, Kip, I sat down in it with trepidation. I hadn’t done any flying myself in years, not since I’d earned enough to start hiring crew. It had felt much safer to have t w o males aboard, males who could be the face for any buyers , so I did n’ t have to reveal my gender or my species.
On the viewscreen , I plugged in the sensor data first, so that I could watch the huge black shadow of the Varakartoom as it left. I wasn’t quite sure what they were up to — just that they had more pressing places to be, and , likely, it had something to do with more shipments of Jalima’s. The Kanfray they’d taken from my ship, I’d learned , had been destroyed. They weren’t even going to sell the nasty drug for profit, which would have seemed more in line with their fearsome, notorious reputation.
I had to admit, the pilot and navigator pair of the giant Battle - Class Cruiser did a fine job. They made that ship spin like it was a fucking ballerina. Twirling her through space in a neat curve before leaping away into FTL — Faster-Than-Light — in the blink of an eye. The light of their engines flared blue, searing into my retinas with their afterburn, and then they were truly gone , leav ing the Finix behind, adrift in an empty section of space, light - years away from the nearest inhabitable world.
I pressed my fingers to my chest, where I felt a dull ache. That felt like regret, and I couldn’t quite place it. What did I have to regret? I’d survived my encounter with these pirating mercenaries ; I’d even lived through two conversation s with their freaky captain. Along the way, the impossible had happened too: I’d made friends, human and Elrohirian. So what was it I had to regret? Nothing. I didn’t even feel guilt over leaving Kip and Chawz in the black grasp of the mercenaries. They had betrayed me ; there could be no safety, no trust, if they had conspired together to smuggle something I abhorred aboard my ship.
And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made a mistake by leaving. My fingers moved purposefully to the navigational console to peer at the course settings. Chawz ’s previous course should still be in the computer ; I just had to find it and re-engage. For now, autopilot would do the rest, and I’d have time to dust off my rusty flying skills for the docking procedures at Rumcas in a few weeks.
Done and satisfied that I’d left the Finix in good order, I spun around in the chair to rise. I’d meant to get up and find out where my guest was hiding, but he’d found me first. He stood in the left doorway —the on e opposite the one through which I’d arrived. His dark cloak hung around him, bathing him in shadow , but his bright blue eyes gleamed at me from beneath the hood. My breathing tight ened in my throat, my belly jumped with nerves, and then the baby gave me a solid kick that startled me so much I yelped. “Ouch!”
What happened next was a bit of a blur. All I was concerned with was keeping my balance as I moved around the chair. Suddenly, I found myself cradled in a pair of huge arms, heat blazing against my side. A pair of concerned blue eyes hovered above my face, and for the first time, I could see inside the shadows beneath his hood. Fine blue fur covered his face, his mouth was large but lush somehow, and his features were regal — at least , that’s what that firm brow represented to me.
“Are you hurt?” he demanded roughly. I felt the heat of his breath against my cheeks, and it made my nipples perk beneath my shirt. That felt intimate. He was right there, in my personal space. This wasn’t simply a brush of his hand against my fingers; I was in his arms, pressed against his huge, cloak-clad chest. The impression of his fingers on my arm and thigh sent heat sizzling through my veins.
Breathlessly , I told him I was fine, my head tilted so I could keep staring into his pretty blue eyes. They were so warm, so kind, I felt like I was falling into them. Would he kiss me? Did Hoxiam even do that? This was crazy thinking; I did n’ t even know if a Hoxiam and a human were compatible. And then the baby kicked again, firmly, insistently , and I jolted in his arms. He growled when it happened, but a smile spread over my face.
“It’s just the baby kicking!” I explained, still smiling. Before I knew what I was doing, I curled my fingers around the hand on my arm and tried to pull. Of course, since he was holding me, he couldn’t very well move it to touch my belly, where the baby was now making a bit of a ruckus. Not that there was any risk that he’d drop me, I couldn’t even budge his finger when I grasped it with my entire hand. Geez, even that one finger was huge.
His arm was even bigger ; he accommodated my pulling by curling his arm further around my shoulders. Suddenly, I had all the leeway I needed to place that huge palm over the bump of my growing belly. Right on cue, the little one firmly kicked outward, hard enough that it came perilously close to hurting. Now Brace was the one startled. I felt his body twitch against mine, but his palm pressed closer, warmth enveloping me. “That’s normal?” he asked, his voice rising in pitch with his surprise.
“Oh yeah, he’s gotten really strong the past few days. I’m sure it’s his half-Kertinal genes.” I didn’t want to think of my baby’s birth father while in Brace’s arms ; that seemed wrong somehow. Besides, in a universe this vast, the likelihood that he’d ever find out and come after us was infinitesimal, wasn’t it? We’d parted without exchanging information. There was absolutely no way I would be able to locate him, I didn’t even want to. This baby was all mine.
Brace abruptly lifted his hand away from my belly, and then he was setting me back down on my feet. I think he would have rushed away too, but he was gentleman enough to hold me steady until I’d found my footing. “That’s good,” he muttered, his hand slipping from my shoulders, his feet shuffling back until he bumped into the side of the doorway. “I , uh, have to check on our supplies.” And then he was gone, and the normally tiny bridge felt huge and empty.