Page 18

Brace

I knew nothing but the red wash of rage for a long time. It pounded through my veins, throbbed inside my head, and clouded my vision. I saw nothing, heard nothing, only felt the ache of my fists as they hit against metal and stone.

In the back of my mind, another seed sat — something brighter than the red rage. Something honest and pure, that wanted to call to me and warn me of important things, of urgent things I had to take care of. The snap of bone against metal made me howl, tossing back my head, my mouth open as wide as it could go.

I tasted things then. S cents and flavors: metal, blood, damp mold, and stone. The dust of disuse and the sharp tang of fear. Rummicaron flesh would taste like salt and tears. It wouldn’t be pleasant to eat, but it would feed the gnawing hunger in the pit of my belly, that hunger that was growing larger with every passing moment, fanning the flames of rage. The hunger was the source—I knew that—but I was so deep in its grasp now that I couldn’t care.

Then I smelled something else, something softer and sweeter. I smelled pain and blood, despair and tears. I s melled the ice and snow from my homeworld. No, not from the home of a childhood long ago, but it was the scent of home. Her name whispered through my mind slowly: Ruby —a n echo of a memory that stirred deeper, pull ing at that bright seed that sat at the back of my brain and held onto good things, important things.

Ruby.

That scent was Ruby, my mate. She smelled of pain and despair ; she smelled of tears. The rage swelled then, furious that my mate was hurting. Why was she hurting? Why had I not protected her? But this rage was not the same as the rage of hunger, this one was colder, sharper, and...clearer. My mind filled with other thoughts now, remembering how I’d gotten here.

The need to get supplies, food, water, blankets, it had been overwhelming. Something in Ruby’s scent had told me that I had to be prepared for anything, for her baby. I had been filled with the urge to make her nest as warm and perfect as I could , t o give her everything she needed. I’d gone out to hunt so I could finally still the rumbling in her stomach. Then I’d run into the patrol, and they had some kind of heat tracker. I thought that if I went with them, they’d contact the Varakartoom and smooth things over. If I fought them, many would die, I’d fall to the rage, and then Ruby would be in even more danger.

My head ached as I forced myself to remember how I’d gotten trapped in this dark, damp cell. De’tor — I was certain he’d been there. That he’d watched me get hauled into the port authority’s offices. That wa s what had set off the true rage , b ecause I knew then that Ruby was in terrible danger.

Now I smelled her, and worst of all, I smelled her pain. I had failed her every step of the way : failed to protect her, failed to protect her ship, and her baby. I’d gotten so involved that my judgment had been clouded, and that had put her in danger. This was my fault. All of it. I never should have left my galley. A better, safer male should have been the one to protect her. Stars, if I hadn’t offered to escort her, the Captain might never have let her leave the Varakartoom …

I felt awash again with rage ; it filled me like a tidal wave. This rage was all directed at myself, and I roared out my pain. Trapped in this prison, I could not even help my mate now, when she needed me the most. The shuffle of footsteps, the groaning of a metal door, it made me roar louder . I t made me fight against the metal bars of my cell until my hands ached and I did not care.

They had left the lights off, but when they flicked on now, they blinded me. I could not see, but I still heard the steps coming closer. At f irst , it sounded like a struggle — slow, dragging — and then there was a sudden sound , followed by faster steps. I shook my head, wiping a palm over my eyes, and my vision started to clear. The flash of black and purple m ad e my heart leap in my chest; that was him! That was the bastard who hurt my mate, who put me in here. De’tor, I would kill him.

He was speaking, but the words were slow to filter through my mind. I’d flung out my arms, trying to reach for him through the bars, and in the back of my mind, I knew that i t was useless, but I did it anyway. “Here he is, as promised. I find it very poetic that he will be your executioner, don’t you think? He’ll be marvelous on the arena sands once again, after he’s eaten his fill of you.”

Arena sands, eating, executioner? The words rattled around in my head without meaning , but they ached in my chest. De’tor said them to hurt, and I could not remember why they did. I snarled at his retreating form, arms outstretched as far as they could go, joints aching. Again , my prey escaped me . W hy had I let him slip away from me before? I did not remember. I didn’t remember a lot of things. Shaking my head, snarling my fury, I tried to make sense of a world still awash in red. T hen the lights blinked back out , and I was plunged into darkness.

A seed at the back of my mind, light, soft, as bright as the sun. A feather - touch against my arm, a scent in my nose that was delicate and sweet. Pain. I smelled pain and blood. A sound, soft and quiet ; it did not rise above the roar of my snarling. My ears twitched toward it, and the pain of the hunger deep in my gut vanished, replaced by a far greater pain deep inside my chest. Ruby.

She sobbed again, a muffled, desperate sound so full of agony that it broke something inside of me. I felt shattered, torn in two, certain I would crumble with the slightest breath of air. The bars of my cell were lowering, sliding away so that I could step into the hallway. Darkness claimed everything, and without a speck of light, even my eyes struggled to see. S till , I knew exactly where she was, sweeping her into my arms and pulling her close.

“Ruby, sweet mate. Ruby,” I whispered into her hair. I was back, but I was not whole, not when my mate was crying like her heart was broken. She felt wrong in my arms, shaped wrong, different. I lifted her , and she clung to me, hands digging into the fur on my shoulders, her face turning into my chest, and tears soaked my pelt right down to the skin.

She did not answer, but as I sank to my knees, cradling her against me, I knew what had happened anyway. My hands, stroking across her body, found no injuries, no source of the blood I’d smelled on her. But her once - taut, round belly was soft and different : f latter, softer, empty.

A shot of rage so sharp and profound lanced through me that I saw stars dance in front of my eyes. He took her baby. How could the male do that? That was the cruelest, most heartless act I could think of, to steal a baby from its mother. To steal Ruby’s baby. De’tor had made a mistake giving her back to me, and now he was going to pay. It was only then that I realized what he had meant by execution, and a sick feeling washed over me at the thought. No, I could never hurt Ruby . N ever.

They had let me out of my cell because they had been too cowardly to open the door and toss Ruby in. They had known that I would have hurt anyone I could ; they thought I’d tear into my mate , enraged as I was. Well, they were wrong, and that truth was healing , even as my rage for what they’d done to Ruby was overpowering. Even angry, even with my mind covered by red, I had not hurt her. She was safe with me, just like she’d always said she was.

They had made a mistake letting me out . W ith the door open, I could get to its hinges —m y sharp claw slicing through the weak spots like butter, wrenching the door off simply to make sure they could n’ t try to lock me behind it again. Now, the only thing between us and freedom was that thick metal door De’tor had left through.

Sitting down with her on the floor , I began rocking her gently back and forth while murmuring to her. Anything to soothe her, to draw her back from her despair. I swore to her that I would get her baby back, and unless he was dead, I knew I’d make good on that promise. I did not think De’tor had killed his own offspring ; he had wanted t he child in his control. He was not going to kill the boy.

“Brace,” she eventually said with a shudder, her voice reedy and thin. It was music to my ears anyway, a sign that she was beginning to respond, to come out of her shock. I had already assured myself that she was not wounded ; there were some smears of fluid — blood and other things — that had dried on the shirt she wore. But they had cleaned her up, healed her after she’d given birth , so that no marks remained other than her still - soft and so - very - empty belly. “They let me hold him . H e was perfect,” she whispered eventually. She patted her chest , w h ere some of the smears on her medical gown had concentrated. They had let her put him against her breast, hold him, that was something.

“Then De’tor took him,” she said with a shudder. “I wanted to come for you, but I failed him, and I failed you. Now we’re both going to die, and my baby is going to be raised without his mother.” That was too much for her to contemplate , and she shook with new tears, crying inconsolably. I tried to comfort her, but there was no comfort here. The longer her quiet crying lasted, the more the rage got hold of me again. I roared, feeling her pain like it was my own, cursing the male that had caused this.

And then , a plan formed in my mind. He wanted her dead by my hand, did he not? He wanted her to suffer, and me to suffer when I realized what I’d done . I was going to give him exactly what he wanted when he came back here. Whispering my plan to Ruby did what my murmurs of comfort had not : i t brought back her focus, it gave her hope. “I swear, you will hold him in your arms again, my sweet mate. I swear we’ll be united.”

Her eyes gleamed at me in the darkness, shiny with tears but now filled with determination. She did not say anything — just listened — but I saw the spark again, that fire that had caused her to fight, to survive all this time.

When De’tor came back several hours later, it was with a contingent of armed men, hiding behind protective shields and shocksticks. They knew I was out of my cage, and they were ready for me, at least, they thought they were. Finding me “sleeping” on the floor, Ruby hidden from their eyes, it was a struggle not to respond until the very last moment , t o act as if I was out cold after eating myself into a coma. They bought it because they did not think of me as anything but a mindless , hungry beast. Ruled by hunger. They were wrong. I knew better now.

“Steady,” I whispered , near soundless , against the crown of Ruby’s hair. “Almost there,” I added . She was trembling beneath me, her body shaking with tension. If she rattled any more, they’d hear the clattering of her teeth as they clicked together, or the pounding of her frantic heart. I rumbled with a low growl to cover her noises, and I could hear the fear shiver through the approaching males. The soft murmur of their voices as they noticed what I’d done to the door o f my cell.

“He has a collar,” De’tor snarled. “Use it!” That was true, but they had never exchanged the collar I’d worn as a ruse for Ruby. And while it was real enough in almost every way, it had been altered by Mitnick—it couldn’t harm me. Twisting my head, I glared at the males hiding behind their shields and weapons, watching for the telltale flick of a switch on the pain control. I didn’t remember them syncing their own device to my collar, but that was what would set off Mitnick’s alteration. They had to have done it, because Ruby hadn’t been here before with her controller.

My sharp ears picked up the flick of the switch, and I acted as if I’d just been struck by lightning. Howling, twitching , and t h rashing, my claws digging furrows into the stone floor. Beneath me, Ruby shook harder , a whimper muffled by her tiny fist, shoved against her mouth. She knew it was an act, but I could tell she hated every minute.

It felt like forever as I faked the pain I was supposedly subjected to by the collar. But once I deemed it long enough, I slumped back down, pretending to pass out. They did not move for long seconds, staring in silence as if they didn’t trust that I was fully out. It was De’tor who shoved through the ranks to approach my side with the heavy thud of his boots. I could even hear the way his tail , tipped with a sharp knife , whipped through the air behind him.

Ruby and I both held our breaths , then, waiting for him to come as close as he dared. His toes nudged against my leg with vicious force; I forced myself not to respond to the sharp pain. This was going better than planned, getting hold of De’tor was much better than capturing one of his goons. I waited until he hissed in satisfaction and moved closer to my head, crouching down so he could run his hand along my arm and poke my ribs.

Right as he withdrew his hand, I struck. Rising fast, I caught his neck in my hand and squeezed. As if we’d rehearsed this, Ruby flowed with me when I tackled the male and yanked him against my chest. With o ne hand around his neck, cutting of f his air and preventing him from using his horns, my other hand snatch ed that dangerous tail from the air and snapp ed the blade off the tip. Ruby was right behind me, pressed against my back so she offered no target for the armed males in the hallway. I felt her small hand slide along my flank, snatching a laser pistol from De’tor’s hip. The v icious thing squeezed off three lethally precise shots before the armed males could regroup and hunker down behind their shields.

“It’s over, De’tor,” I snarled into the male’s ear. “You lose. Tell me where Ruby’s baby is , and I might give you a quick death.” He did not shake or tremble in my grip, he did not fight the tight squeeze around his throat, and he had not howled in pain when I broke the tip of his tail. Now , I felt a deep vibration start in his chest, knew it for the laughter that it was. He didn’t fear death, and he did not fear pain either.

“Shoot him,” De’tor ordered . “Both of them. That’s an order. Shoot to kill.” He knew he was in the way, but he would rather see me dead at the cost of his own life. It would ensure he won. The shuffling of the remaining guards and their shields told me they were not quite as sure as I was about the order f rom their boss. Their mistake. Driven by so much protective rage, I abruptly shoved De’tor forward. He hadn’t anticipated the release and nearly went headfirst into the row of shields. I was after him so fast that only two males got off a shot.

It was chaos after that, and the fury took over, controlling my every move until no one was left standing. This time, I was not alone in that fight, not alone in my rage. Ruby was with me every step of the way , her pistol fire suppressing theirs, picking them off while I destroyed their shields and their master. But I didn’t kill him — couldn’t — not until I had answers.

Standing in the carnage afterward, I pressed my foot to De’tor’s throat and leaned low to star e deep into his glowing purple eyes. Then I opened my mouth as wide as it could go and let him stare into the abyss of death, like he wanted. “Tell me where he is, and I will not eat you , tiny bite by bite, starting with your blasted toes. You’ll be alive a long time, and I’ll make sure you stay conscious for every minute of it.” The threat was hollow, I would never eat the bastard . I would not sully my soul that way. I didn’ t even feel the all-consuming hunger of the Hoxiam. But he didn’t know that, and it was obvious he feared that fate, who wouldn’t?

It wasn’t until Ruby crouched next to his head and leaned in, fearlessly using my shoulder for support, that he caved. His fear overruled by what was possibly a tiny shred of decency when a desperate mother implored him with her tear - stained eyes.

“Jalima has him,” he coughed through a partially crushed throat. “Mansion southwest of Avur, aleyard.” He bared his teeth, the sharp , pearly white fangs stained with blood. “You’ll never get him back.” I gave him a firm shove, his head crashing against the stone , and that was it, De’tor was no more.

“Let’s get your son,” I said to Ruby, sweeping her into my arms and shifting her so she could cling to my shoulders. Then I busted down the door to the cell block.