Page 24 of Salt & Blood (Ivy & Bone #4)

SPACE

PANDORA

Pandora was trembling by the time she, Sol, and Gaia reached Elysium. She was covered in sweat, her bones weary and her mind clouded from the restraint it took to keep her darkness in check.

Every moment she stood alongside Gaia was filled with unbearable pain. Leashing the snarling monster inside her took all her effort. When they stepped through the portal and arrived on the barren beach, she sank to her knees, utterly spent from the taxing ordeal.

Gaia knelt by her side and touched her shoulder, as if to help her. The instant her mother’s fingers brushed her skin, a hiss of pain erupted from Pandora, and she jerked away, her flesh on fire. Her mother’s touch had burned her.

“Don’t,” she gritted out, wheezing through sharp breaths. “Please.”

She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh or enraged, but the words came out as a snarl. She had no energy left for controlling her voice. It was truly a miracle she could speak at all; every ounce of her body felt like it was being ripped apart.

Just like when Apollo had used his sun magic to tear into her.

No, not her. The goddess before her.

This isn’t me, Pandora told herself. It’s her. Not me. We are not the same. I am different from her.

But their souls were so entwined that Pandora didn’t know what to believe anymore. She had no control. No sense of reality. The past and present melded together until her thoughts were incoherent, and she no longer knew the difference between what she wanted and what the vengeful soul inside her wanted.

Warm hands gripped her arms, and she instinctively flinched away. But it wasn’t Gaia. She knew from the touch alone that it was Sol. Somehow, his large, smooth hands were so familiar to her that she knew without looking up that it was him.

“I can carry you, if you need me to,” he murmured.

Pandora shut her eyes against the roaring in her ears. Distantly, she heard the lapping of ocean waves, which meant that some part of the Elysium enchantment had held, despite the destruction caused by Pandora’s box.

The last time she’d been here by this very portal, Sol had stared at her with hatred in his eyes, pushing her to near death to allow as many people to pass through the portal as possible.

Remembering that powerful loathing and fury from him made her insides tremble for an entirely new reason.

“Why are you helping me?” Pandora whispered, still unable to look up at him. Light shone above her, and it was so similar to Apollo’s magic that it made her stomach roil. She worried if she looked too closely at it, she would vomit all over Sol.

“Because the Gorgon sisters ordered me to,” Sol said, his tone full of amusement.

Pandora shook her head, her skull throbbing. Gods, she couldn’t take this much longer. “No. I mean, why are you being kind to me? You could kick me to the ground and refuse to speak to me, if you wanted. It would be no less than I deserved.”

Sol was silent for a long moment. Pandora groaned from the weight of her memories and the screaming inside her. Her ears started ringing, and she thought for sure she would lose consciousness at any moment.

At long last, Sol said quietly, “I didn’t realize… until I saw…” He broke off and cleared his throat. “When the darkness seized hold of you in that throne room, I saw just how much power she had over you. And I didn’t know… Trivia, I had no idea how bad it was.”

She choked on a dry laugh. “You thought I was lying?”

“Well, yes.”

She winced. She deserved that.

“But everything I saw today showed me you are a prisoner to her memories and her darkness. You did not choose this. And you’re fighting like hell against it.”

Pandora slumped forward, but Sol caught her, cradling her to his chest. “I—I don’t feel like I’m fighting,” she whispered, her body now quivering as a strange chill claimed her. Her skin pebbled, and a cold sweat formed on her brow. “I f-feel weak. I f-feel like I’m losing.”

Sol peeled her sticky, sweaty hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. “Keep fighting, darling. You’re stronger than you think.”

She felt something soft brush against her forehead. For one delusional moment, she thought he might have kissed her there. But before she could decide if it was real or if she’d imagined it, she fell into darkness, succumbing to the pain at last.

Pandora awoke to the sound of crashing waves, this time much clearer than before. They washed over her as if she swam in the ocean itself, letting the soothing salty water flow around her. In her mind and heart, there was nothing but silence. Nothing but the sound of those pulsing waves.

In and out.

In and out.

She exhaled deeply, waiting for the memories and screams to assault her once more. But they did not. Warmth closed in around her, and she sighed with contentment, turning over to press into that comforting heat.

The heat moved.

Pandora’s eyes flew open.

She was lying in a bed surrounded by translucent white drapes. Across from her, a set of open balcony doors revealed the oceanside.

A male grunt from next to her made her sit up so quickly that her head started spinning. Her heart leapt in her throat as she turned to find Sol blinking sleepily up at her, one half of his mouth curved into a satisfied smirk.

“Morning, beautiful.” His voice was low and deliciously raspy, and it did despicable things to Pandora’s pulse.

She practically fell out of bed, panic flaring as she glanced over her body. Thank the gods she wasn’t naked. But she was wearing a thin white shift.

Which meant either Sol or Gaia had changed her clothes. She didn’t know which option was more mortifying.

She pressed a hand to her chest, struggling to control her breathing. “I—We—Oh my gods, Sol, did we…” She couldn’t finish, and she covered her face with her hands, unable to look at him. Her face was on fire.

What had they done?

And why the hell couldn’t she remember it?

Tell me my first time with this beautiful man wasn’t when I was in the throes of insanity because of a former goddess.

And then, an altogether horrifying idea crept into her thoughts: had that former goddess possessed her body to be with her lover once more? She and Sol had been romantically entangled before the goddess’s demise. And Pandora’s darkness seemed more docile when Sol touched her.

Oh gods, no, please no… If another being or entity was using her body like that?—

Sol offered a low chuckle. “Nothing happened, Trivia. I swear it. After you fell unconscious, you had these strange fits where your body would seize uncontrollably unless I held you. Gaia asked if I was comfortable lying next to you to ensure you got proper rest, and I said yes.”

At the mention of her mother’s name, an echo of those screams rang in Pandora’s mind once more. She shut her eyes, struggling to clear her head. “Where—Where is she?”

“At the edge of the wards, trying to see how much damage has been done,” Sol said, but Pandora heard the meaning behind his words.

She’s keeping her distance so you don’t lose your shit again.

Pandora ran a hand down her face. “The wards were destroyed, weren’t they?”

“No. They were merely deactivated when—” Sol broke off, his eyes flaring with pain.

When Hestia died. Pandora quickly continued, “So, they can still be reactivated?”

“Apollo’s side of the wards can. But his power alone was never enough to protect the realm. Gaia will need to infuse her own powers, or rather your powers, into the wards in order to strengthen them. It takes the magic of two deities to fully strengthen the protection of Elysium.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” Pandora muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Gaia can do this without me.”

“We could, yes.” Sol scratched his chin. “But I don’t think that’s the point. The point is to prove you can overcome that darkness inside you and access those goddess powers. This is an opportunity for you to become something more than your curse, Trivia.”

Pandora swallowed hard, trying not to feel intimidated by this. Already, she had failed. Only five minutes in Elysium, and she had let the darkness win.

Victory seemed impossible.

She changed the subject, frowning at the small bedchamber. A simple armoire rested against one wall, and on the opposite was a set of bookshelves. “What is this place?”

“One of the few homes that survived the attack,” Sol said. “Gaia and I spruced it up a bit to make it fit for us.”

“Us?” Pandora repeated, her heart skittering again.

“Well, it’s clear you can’t resist being around me.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “You need me.”

She scoffed, but the reaction was automatic only because he was being an arrogant prick like usual. But the truth was, he was right. If that darkness overtook her again, it was clear only Sol could bring her back.

The thought soured her stomach as she remembered the horror of imagining that former goddess controlling her body. Was she even herself anymore?

“Gaia found a small home across the street that she’ll be staying in,” Sol went on. “You will have your space from her.”

With a sigh, Pandora sank onto the edge of the bed. “ from her will not help my earth magic.”

Sol sat up and scooted forward so they were side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder. “No, but we have to take small steps forward, not great leaps. This will take time, Trivia.”

“I fear we don’t have time,” she whispered. “The magic from the box will sense Gaia’s power. It could return and finish what it started.”

“If it does, we will have enough time to go through the portal again,” Sol said. “Between myself and Gaia, we are strong enough to fuel it. This isn’t like before, with an entire city of people to evacuate. It’s just the three of us.”

Pandora flinched at the reminder of what she’d done. She’d caused so much destruction, so much loss of life. So many souls and people were now without homes because of her.

That’s why you’re here, she reminded herself. To fix things.

Her guilt would only fester and worsen if she allowed herself to sit here and do nothing.

She stood, letting her hands fall on her thighs. “I should find Gaia. We need to get started.”

She was striding for the door when a warm hand grasped her wrist, stopping her. When she turned, Sol was looking at her, eyebrows raised. Only then did she register that he was shirtless, and that damned glorious sculpted chest was only inches away from her, taunting her.

Her mouth suddenly went dry.

“Trivia. You’re in a shift.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, embarrassment warming her cheeks. “Right. Any idea where I can change?”

“There are clothes in the armoire. I’ll give you some privacy.”

Pandora opened and closed her mouth, torn between begging him to stay and shoving him more quickly out the door. Before she could decide, Sol was striding out the door, and it closed behind him with a soft snap, leaving her alone with her thoughts and memories.