Page 11 of Salt & Blood (Ivy & Bone #4)

CIVILITY

PANDORA

With the city of Sodara in ruins, there was no place to stop for the night. Farah told Pandora of an inn she often frequented before the city had been destroyed, and Pandora had to admit, the idea of resting on a soft mattress and having a hot meal in her belly seemed like a dream come true.

But with each step she took through the destroyed city, the ache in her stomach only tightened, coiling tighter and tighter until she felt like she might burst.

My fault. This is my fault.

When they finally reached the edge of the city, her insides were squirming so much that the idea of eating anything made her want to retch.

“That’s the Voiceless Jungle,” said a low voice beside her.

Pandora turned to find Wren, the witch with curly ginger hair, standing next to her. She pointed to something barely visible in the distance. The sun had already set, but the sky was just light enough to make out a line of trees along the horizon.

They stood at least a mile away. Pandora glanced at the sky and then back to the forest. “Will we make it before it’s completely dark?”

Wren smirked. “You forget you are among fire witches. We can light the way.”

Pandora nodded, unable to manage even a small smile.

Wren’s expression sobered. “Are you afraid?”

Pandora glanced at her. The witch’s golden eyes burned in the darkness. “No,” Pandora said. “At least, not for myself. Whatever my fate is, it’s nothing less than I deserve.” She sighed and glanced toward the forest again. “But I am afraid of how much worse it’s going to get. I’m afraid of seeing the consequences of my actions and how many people I’ve hurt. I—I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”

Wren was silent for a long moment, her lips pressing together thoughtfully. “Perhaps that is your fate, then. Whatever the Gorgon sisters decide for you, perhaps you can consider this”—she gestured to the ash and debris around them—“a part of your penance.”

A knot formed in Pandora’s throat, and she nodded.

“I know that doesn’t help,” Wren said quietly. “But I don’t think any of us would ever change if we hid ourselves from the darkness around us. The destruction is necessary for our growth. It teaches us to change, and it makes way for new life.”

“I don’t know if I’m capable of change,” Pandora said. “Not with this vengeful soul inside me.” She shook her head. “At any rate, I cannot be convinced that the loss of an entire city—full of innocent people; children, even—would be considered a good thing. I don’t care how much I would grow from it; I would much prefer for these people to be alive.”

Wren’s gaze turned soft. “That is an admirable sentiment.”

Pandora snorted. “I don’t feel admirable at all. I feel like shit. But you’re right. It is part of my penance, and I will continue to bear it.”

Wren offered a wry chuckle. “I like you, Pandora. You’re a dark soul, but you own it. And you still have a heart, in spite of what you’ve endured.”

Pandora could only manage a half smile. Here she was, making friends, all because of the deceit and betrayal she’d worked throughout her life. It didn’t seem right. Everyone should despise her.

She thought of Mona, who was next to Evander, drinking from a waterskin and smiling at something he said to her. Mona, who had every right to despise her, and yet, she had stood by Pandora.

Another kindness she did not deserve.

Pandora watched her sister for a moment when something in her peripheral vision caught her eye. Next to Mona, standing only a few paces behind Pandora and Wren, was Sol, his solemn gaze fixed on Pandora.

She felt her breath catch at the intensity of his gaze. The usual hatred wasn’t there, but a hardness lined his features, making him look fierce and formidable. She had no doubt he’d heard every word of her conversation with Wren. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Her mouth turned dry, and she looked away, unable to endure his scrutiny any longer.

After resting and hydrating, the group set off across the small plain between Sodara and the Voiceless Jungle. The closer they got to the forest, the wilder it became. From a distance, the treeline looked unassuming. But with each step, the branches became more jagged, the leaves more tangled, and the woods themselves seemed to tremble with an otherworldly awareness.

Having never been in the Realm of Gaia before, Pandora did not know what to expect with this place. But she wasn’t afraid. Whatever awaited her in this jungle, it couldn’t be worse than witnessing the destruction of her past choices. Choices she could never take back.

“Did you mean what you said?” asked a soft voice beside her.

Pandora simultaneously felt a bolt of heat and a chill of foreboding spread through her at the sound of that voice. She took a steadying breath, refusing to look at Sol as she answered, “When I said what?”

“That we should seek power from the Titans.”

Pandora frowned. That was not what she had expected him to ask her about. “Yes. I meant it.”

“Explain.”

In another lifetime, Pandora would have bristled at the command in his tone, or perhaps replied with something snarky and sarcastic. But right now, she was far too tired for it. She sighed and said, “What’s there to explain? The forces we’re fighting are too powerful for us to match on our own. We need something else to give us an edge. Something to even things out between us. Because right now, we don’t stand a chance.”

“And who’s to say the magic of the Titans won’t rebel against us and join with the dark powers of the box?”

Pandora shrugged. “There’s no guarantee. But we’re going to die from this either way. There is no escape.”

“That’s a bleak outlook.”

She gave him a grim look. “My outlook was never going to be sunshine and rainbows, Sol. You know this.”

He scoffed. “Did you expect any less, Pandora? With the choices you’ve made and the lives you’ve destroyed, you shouldn’t be at all surprised that this is your fate.”

Shock and indignation rippled over her. For one brief second, she’d believed they were sharing a civil conversation where he was actually trying to understand her perspective.

But no. He still hated her. And he wanted to remind her of it. Again.

Agony shattered through her, and she dropped her gaze before he could see the tears in her eyes. Within herself, she rebuilt those walls she had constructed to keep herself from caring. The walls that allowed her to do what needed to be done. “You can hate me all you want, Sol. I know I deserve it. But it’s not my outlook I’m trying to change. It’s everyone else’s. There are people I care about, people I can still save if I—if I can find a solution to the problem I started.”

“And you think repeating her mistakes is a solution?” Sol huffed a laugh, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head in derision.

“What’s your solution, Sol?” Pandora bit out, unable to stop herself. “Lie down and just accept your own destruction? Roll over for the demons sweeping over the realm, like you rolled over for Apollo your whole life?”

Sol’s whole expression darkened with fury, and he closed the distance between them, looming over her with loathing in his eyes. For one moment, she thought he would strike her. She welcomed it. All this restless energy and guilt worming its way through her was unbearable. Perhaps if he attacked her, she would finally feel something different. Something other than the pain of her emotions.

“My solution,” he said in a low voice, “is to let the Gorgon sisters sentence you to death. Once you’re gone, the magic you unleashed will go with you.”

She snorted. “Killing me won’t close the box that’s been opened.”

“But killing you will end her curse. And, hopefully, her magic will go with you to the grave.”

Pandora crossed her arms, glaring at Sol. She refused to let him see how much his words affected her. How much it hurt to hear him speak of her death with such optimism. “That’s a gamble. What will you do if it doesn’t work?”

He shrugged, as if watching her die would be a mere inconvenience and nothing more. “Then, I will think of a new plan.”

Pandora laughed without amusement. She was finished with this conversation. “Then, end it now. Why wait for the Gorgon sisters?” She spread her arms. “What the hell are you waiting for, Sol?”

His brows lowered, his eyes burning with fury. But he didn’t move.

She smirked. “Because you can’t, can you?”

A muscle worked in his jaw, and his nostrils flared.

Pandora leaned closer to him until their noses almost touched. “I know you hate me. You have good reason to. But if you aren’t going to do something with all that anger, then just leave me the hell alone.”

“You don’t have the right to order me around,” he growled.

“No, I don’t. But if you insist on tormenting me, then I’ll do the same to you.”

He chuckled. “You can’t hurt me, Pandora.”

She offered a cruel smile. “You know what I think? I think it’s your guilt that’s fueling you. Guilt for letting this happen to her. For not even realizing what your beloved mentor was doing, right under your very nose. That’s why you can’t kill me. You’re angry with yourself for standing by while Apollo lied to and deceived everyone.”

She turned away, ready to put distance between them. He grabbed her arm, his grip bruising, and whirled her to face him once more. “Don’t you dare pretend to know me just because you have her soul inside you,” he hissed. “You are not her.”

“I know that,” Pandora whispered. “But do you?” She stared at him for a long moment until he released her, his expression going slack. She took advantage of his confusion and slipped away from him, weaving through witches until she stood beside Mona. Her sister looked her over with a slight frown but said nothing, resuming her conversation with Evander.

Pandora rubbed her arms, but a chill seemed to seep into her very bones, icing her blood. She didn’t want to hurt Sol. But he was in agony, and he was lashing out at her for the wrong reasons. Yes, she deserved it, but he was broken, and until he realized that, he would never heal.

Pandora walked silently with Mona and Evander until they reached the edge of the jungle. Farah took the first step. She entered the Voiceless Jungle without hesitation, her form vanishing between the shadows. When the rest of them followed, setting foot on the sacred soil of the jungle, the darkness swallowed up every sound, leaving nothing in its wake.

Leaving Pandora to the torment of her thoughts and memories.