Page 25 of Ruthlessly Mated (Shared Mates #2)

“Who held you captive?” I frown. I hate that he went through hard times. From the very beginning, Damon and I have shared a very particular kind of bond. We’ve understood one another in the silence. He’s felt like home to me.

That is why I want a name. My business is vengeance, and there is no reason he should not be included in it.

“I was sold around,” he says. “There’s parts of the country where shifters aren’t really people. Somewhere between dogs and servants. It wasn’t illegal to buy and sell a shifter servant.”

I listen to him in a kind of reverent silence.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “You deserved better than that. You’ll never be a servant again.”

“I was sold to Conroy in the end,” he says. “He bought me at an underground auction and made me an equal partner in the port. He’s a good man.”

I don’t argue that out loud, but I think Conroy is an overbearing monster, even if he did do something nice for Damon at some point.

Damon nudges me. “I know you’re angry at him. You two are too much like each other, but he is a good man, and he wants to help you.”

“I don’t want to talk about him. I want to talk about you.”

“Tailor came later,” he says. “For quite a few years it was Conroy and I at the port. Tailor showed up wounded. Close to death. He’d lost a fight with an aristocrat from Eclipse City and was planning on dying by the ocean.

But we decided not to let that happen. That’s how the three of us ended up together.

And now you make four. You’re the best thing to happen to any of us. ”

He’s talking quite a lot now, and I am thrilled to listen.

“You’re so nice to me,” I say, feeling those tears pricking my eyes again. I am so emotional, and I am not entirely sure why. I think it’s just the thrill of being spoken to by the man whose voice I imagined I’d never hear.

“I want to be nice to you. I want to look after you for the rest of your life. We all do. And I want to know you. All of you. Including your animal form, if you ever want to show it to me. It’s not an obligation. I’m just telling you I want to see you. All of you.”

I lower my head and shake it. He says that now, but I know he won’t mean it when he sees me. Everybody thinks they are prepared to see something gross, but then they never really are. “You won’t like what I look like.”

“I think I will.”

“You’ll lose respect for me.”

“There is nothing you could do that will make me lose respect for you.”

I laugh. “There are lots of things that should make you lose it for me.”

“Nothing,” Damon says. “Nothing. Ever.”

He is so fierce in his assertion that not believing him would be the equivalent of calling him a liar, and I do not want to call him a liar.

I think about it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to just do what they want.

They’re not going to stop asking. They’re only going to keep making it more and more of a thing.

“I know I already asked, but… will you promise to keep talking to me after I shift?”

“Yes,” he smiles. “I won’t give you this and take it away. You will have my voice. I know you need it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask the question in something of a soft whimper. I know exactly what he means. He means he knows I need him. His presence has been reassuring from the beginning, but I need more than that. I need his words. I need all of him, and he’s going to give it.

“I know you need me,” he repeats, running his hand tenderly over my cheek, and pressing a passionate kiss to my lips. I feel my body filling with energy, with desire not only for him, but to please him.

It feels as though the entire world is limited to just the two of us. I look into his eyes, I let his rough, low voice wash over me, and I let myself imagine shifting.

“I haven’t even tried in years,” I tell him. “It’s so embarrassing.”

“You should never be embarrassed to be exactly who you are,” he says.

“Okay. I’m going to try.”

I strip off the light clothes and stand naked in the middle of nowhere. I look up at the moon and I close my eyes and I try to take my wolf form.

Nothing happens.

I will myself harder, desperately urging the animal inside me to manifest herself.

I’ve heard all kinds of descriptions of how wolves feel before they shift.

Others talk about the way their inner being seems to grow and claim their exterior, the prowling beast inside their souls escaping to take its place in the world.

They simply relax, and let the illusion of humanity drop.

They embody their true nature. I don’t have any of that.

I have my anger. I have my need for revenge.

There’s no room for anything else inside me. Not even my true nature.

I have shifted before. It hurts, and I hate it. Most wolves seem to really enjoy taking their animal form, but I’ve always hated becoming furry and sharp and to my mind, unwieldy. There’s just something about the whole turning into a creature thing that I just can’t get used to.

“Fuck,” I curse. “I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “Relax. If it has been a long time, you might not find it as easy as some.”

“I hate this. I fucking suck. I’m the worst.”

“Baby,” he purrs deeply, pulling me back down to sit in his lap. “I love you, but if I hear you talk like that about yourself again, I am going to spank you so hard you’ll wish Conroy was doing it instead.”

My eyes widen at his threat, a little bubbling of excitement rushing up through me.

“It’s true,” I whimper. “I’m not trying to get in trouble. Seriously. I’m not. But I’m so bad at this part. I’ve only taken my wolf form a few times and I hardly ever stay in it for more than a few minutes.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to take your wolf form. You don’t have to excel at it if you do. We love you. You are our mate. Nothing will change that. You can let yourself just be.”

Those last words he says, let yourself be , sink through me. I feel the animal side emerging. Softer. Playful. Trusting.

Suddenly, I’m no longer stuck in my person suit. All humanity slides away from me, the fingers, the toes, the silly slappy feet and the dangly limbs. What’s left is something sleeker, softer, more powerful. Something with fur and fangs. Something true. Something real.

Tailor

We are watching them from a distance, knowing better than to interrupt.

The moment we saw Damon’s mouth move, we practically froze in place. He has never spoken to us, not in all the years we have known him. But he is speaking to her.

“Is she going to shift?” Conroy asks the question with hushed anticipation. “Oh, my god, I think she’s going to shift.”

He has no idea how excited he sounds. I smile just hearing it.

I am very much looking forward to seeing our mate’s animal form too.

Judging by her human temperament, I am expecting a truly frightening she-wolf, a large and predatory beast with sharp fangs and an even worse temper.

I ready myself to flow into my animal state in case she runs and needs to be contained.

I know very well that she wants her relic back, and is not pleased with what we’ve done to her.

Forcibly rescuing her from Rock City annoyed her, and her wolf self will be even more rebellious. I think all three of us will have our work cut out for us in the attempt to keep her contained now that her even wilder side is about to emerge.

“Oh, my god, she is adorable!” I clap my hands over my mouth to stop myself from squealing like a much more feminine creature than I am.

She hears the sound of excitement and comes bounding over, practically wagging her tail in a manner that is more reminiscent of a domestic dog than a wild wolf.

She’s a very small wolf. Perfectly formed, but not that much larger than a big domestic dog.

I wonder if something stunted her animal development.

The thought puts a pall over the discussion somewhat, but she’s just so cute.

Her eyes are quite large, and her fur is shaggy and soft. She’s feminine, even in this state.

“Very cute,” Conroy growls.

Conroy

I thought I loved Kita as much as I could.

Now I know I was only just beginning to feel affection for her.

This cute little wolf is so appealing, so intensely deserving of care and protection.

I thought she’d be an absolute menace in her wolf form, but she’s so playful, running around Tailor’s and my legs, then rolling around with Damon as if the two of them had always been together.

I can’t stay in my human form right now. I want to be like her. I want to be with her. I take my wolf form. And I move toward her.

Kita

I have never felt so safe, so happy, and so free. Damon stays human for a moment, before becoming his real self as well. And then I am happier still, because I am suddenly no longer alone.

Damon’s dark animal form flows around me, playing with me, containing me, making me feel so incredibly fucking safe I can’t feel any other feeling.

I am aware that the others are close. They are approaching slowly, carefully. Damon is standing over me, and I take refuge between his legs, creeping up underneath his belly, using him for shelter and protection.

Tailor comes first. He has a wise feeling, a strong feeling.

I trust him to keep watch. I feel that he is an agile hunter and a good provider.

He feels like safety too, but of a different kind.

Damon makes my soft inner self feel entirely seen.

Tailor is effective, he is part of a pack that works.

He nuzzles me lightly and gives me a little lick and I snap at him playfully.

It is not until Conroy’s massive alpha frame blocks out the rest of the world that I feel truly overwhelmed. I whimper and creep on my belly, turning over onto my back with a little whine. My tail is wagging, but I think I might pee myself.