Page 74 of Ruthless Rustanovs

“He was still talking about your offer to train him when I tucked him in. He’s saying Back Up will probably want to come, too, so do you want me to text Isaac about the arena’s policy on dogs or do you want to handle that?”

“I am boss. He may bring dog if he wishes,” Nikolai answered.

She grimaced a little. “Okay, but be sure you don’t create a monster there.”

He crooked his head to the side. “You do not think I know not to indulge my nephew too much?” he asked.

She gave him a teasing smile. “No, I’m not talking about Pavel, I’m talking about Back Up. Start taking her to your skating rink and she’ll expect to come everywhere with Pavel from now on.”

So she wasn’t questioning his parenting skills, only his decision to let Pavel bring her useless dog along. There came an unexpected release of tension in Nikolai’s stomach.

“And the security person you sent to the shelter, Suro Nakamura?” Her voice was tight, and he tensed again, waiting for her anger.

But then she lowered her eyes and said, “Thank you. It’s a very thoughtful and generous gift. I’ll be sure to send you a donor acknowledgement letter for your taxes at the end of the year.”

“You’re welcome,” he answered. Then he waited, sensing there was another subject looming on her agenda, one he wouldn’t necessarily like.

He was right.

“About what happened this morning…” she said.

Sam wasn’t fooled this time when Nikolai’s face went totally blank. She knew better now. The last time he’d gone completely neutral on her, the most rabid family lawyer in Indiana showed up on the doorstep a few days later.

This time the shuttering of his hooded eyes sent a chill down her back. But she swallowed to get some moisture going in her mouth and pressed on. “That was a really intense nightmare you had. It sounded like you were scared. Really scared.”

His gaze went cold, his eyes two green circles on a bed of ice. “I’m fine. It was only nightmare.”

She inclined her head. “It didn’t sound like nothing.

Was it about your brother? Sometimes grief gets processed through our dreams, especially when we don’t take the time to acknowledge it.

That’s what happened to me when I had my nightmare.

I was basically processing what had happened that evening. ”

He said nothing.

“Or maybe it was about your father?”

More nothing.

And Sam began to feel very foolish for trying to talk to him, for coming in here with the intention of lending an ear to someone like Nikolai Rustanov.

“Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I won’t pry. I’m just saying if you ever need to talk to somebody, I’m here for you.”

“Is there anything else?” he asked. His tone made her feel like she was talking to a living icicle.

She cleared her throat. “Actually, as matter of fact, there is something else. After what happened this morning, I’m thinking I should go back to my room—”

“Nyet, that isn’t what we agreed,” he said before she could finish.

She nearly rolled her eyes. Exactly what she’d expected him to say. “Fine, well we agreed I’d share a room with you. Not a bed, just a room. So I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

His eyes flared with frustration, probably because she’d introduced this subject too late in the night for him to get someone in to take the couch out of his room.

“And if you take out the couch, I’m just going to sleep on the floor,” she let him know so she wouldn’t run into the issue with him the next day. Then she waited for him to issue some kind of edict about her sleeping where he told her to sleep.

But the next words out of his mouth were a question.

“You do not wish to share my bed?” he asked, his voice low and gruff. Then he averted his eyes. Like Pavel did whenever he asked a question and feared he would be hurt by the answer.

His question caused Sam to falter a bit. She wished Nikolai would stop doing this. Going vulnerable on her when she least expected it.

“I, um…” She quickly pulled on her counselor hat again. “I think sex confuses things, especially in a relationship like ours. Which was established for reasons of convenience. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Especially me, she thought with a pang, before rushing to a finish with, “This morning was a mistake on both our parts, and I think it would behoove both of us to never let it happen again.”

An icy pause.

Then Nikolai reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a pair of reading glasses before picking his smartphone up off the desk.

“Excuse me. English is not my first language. I am looking up this word ‘mistake.’” He frowned.

“Ah, here it is. The internet says mistake means ‘an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. Synonyms: error, fault, omission, slip, blunder, miscalculation, misunderstanding, oversight, misinterpretation…’” he carefully sounded out the next word. “so-lee-cism—I say this word right?”

“I- I don’t know,” she answered. The truth was she’d never heard of the word, but she didn’t need to know how to pronounce it in order to realize he was making fun of her. “My point is—”

“I thought I knew what mistake means, what all these words except so-lee-cism mean. But maybe we have two different definitions. I will look at this other word, behooves.” A few thumb taps and his eyes scanned the resulting page.

“Hmm, this makes things you say even more confusing. You think it appropriate and suitable for husband and wife with baby on way not to share bed?”

“We’re not—we’re not a real husband and wife,” she reminded him. “We’re more like project partners, and I don’t sleep with my project partners. So if you have an event or a work obligation you need me to attend, fine. That’s what I signed up for. But I’m sleeping on the couch.”

Another icy pause. Then he bit out, “I will not sleep in our bed without you, zhena.”

For some reason his referring to her by that name again made her lose the firm grip on all the calm she’d been determined to maintain when she walked into his study to have this conversation.

“I’m already letting you use me as an incubator,” she told Nikolai in a harsh, ugly voice. “I shouldn’t have to explain to you why I don’t want to be used as your fuck toy.”

Silence dropped down like a curtain and Nikolai stared at her for several long, heavy seconds, before saying, “You did not seem to mind being my fuck toy this morning, zhena,” he said, his voice low and calm. “What were your words? ‘Fuck me. Fuck me. Please keep going?’”

He lifted his eyebrows in mock consideration. “But maybe I do not understand these words correctly either.”

Sam dropped her gaze, her cheeks burning angry and hot. But she didn’t waver. “I’m sleeping on the couch from now on,” she said, fighting to keep her voice level. “Don’t try to bully me out of it.”

She said that last quiet thing and then she left his study feeling like the biggest fool imaginable for getting herself entangled with a man who had an ice rink where his heart should be.

To Sam’s relief, Nikolai didn’t try to stop her from sleeping on the ornate, red and gold chaise lounge in his bedroom that night.

In fact, he left her alone. Literally. He still hadn’t come up to the room by the time Sam fell into a fitful sleep on the couch, which was comfortable enough—especially for a chaise lounge—but not nearly as comfortable as his luxurious bed had been.

Sam woke the next morning to an unexpected sight. Nikolai’s empty bed, sheets smooth, blanket in place, pillows still plump, the whole tableau an obvious testament to not having been slept in.

Sam sat up on one elbow. So then where did Nikolai sleep last night? she wondered.

An unexpected jealously gripped her, its bony green hand squeezing her heart.

Had Nikolai gone out to find what he wanted in the arms of another woman?

One who had no problems with sex without love, or sleeping with a married man?

The thing was, she couldn’t see Nikolai sleeping in the guestroom or his office—he was a natural competitor and he would never cede his turf.

And they’d never discussed the intimate terms of their marriage beyond the fact that she didn’t think it was a good idea to be intimate with him.

Anyone looking at the situation from the outside in—a woman who refused to sleep with her own husband—might take his side on this.

He wasn’t getting what he needed at home, so he went somewhere else for it.

She’d met enough marriage counselors to know that open marriages were a thing that worked for some couples.

But not her. The thought of sleeping with another man made her stomach turn in a way that had nothing to do with her recurrent bouts of morning sickness.

She sat up on the couch and threw off the blankets.

More proof that she’d made the right decision in refusing to sleep with him again, she decided as she got up.

She headed to the bathroom with her chin raised, thinking she’d be damned if was going to let this situation throw her off her healthy morning routine.

She’d get dressed, go get Pavel for their morning yoga session, then they’d walk Back Up around the neighborhood and eat breakfast together, and she wouldn’t give any more thought to her cheating lothario of a husband—

Sam suddenly pitched forward violently, and she had no doubt she would have broken something when she hit the floor…

…had Nikolai’s mountainous body not cushioned her fall.

“Zhena, I told you to watch yourself,” he said, reaching up and easily rearranging her, so she was lying on top of him. Her face right above his. He gave her a tired half smile. “No falling I told you. Remember?”

She blinked down at him. “What are you doing sleeping on the floor?!?!”

“I told you. I will not sleep in bed without you.”

His expression was so neutral, he almost look bored, but she could feel his length against the top of her thigh coming to hard, thick life.

“Be more careful,” he said, lifting her up like she weighed nothing and setting her aside. He came to his feet, looming over her. “Soon, baby will be hurt if you fall.”

“I- I usually am—I mean, I’m not the falling type. It’s just, I didn’t know you slept on the floor last night…” She struggled for more words, but only came up with another, “I didn’t know…”

He looked down at her with another of his heavy frowns, “Take your shower, zhena. I will take my workout.”

Then he left the room without another word.