Page 63 of Ruthless Rustanovs

SAM used the interruption to gain her freedom.

“Please let me go, right now,” she whispered to Nikolai, low enough that Danny, their security guard, wouldn’t be able to hear her. “This isn’t a good look for me or Ruth’s House.”

To her surprise, Nikolai instantly let her go. He even took a step back, like he didn’t know what had come over him when he grabbed her.

Relief flooded her heart. Good, good, this was good.

A long, detailed email was the perfect way to handle this.

It would take the weird energy out of the situation, she reasoned, and put some distance between her and Nikolai so they could both think about how to handle this turn of events without angry words or hurt feelings.

Resolved, she turned toward the door.

“Please, tell me. I must know,” came Nikolai’s voice, harsh and choked, like he was both embarrassed and desperate to be pleading with her to tell him the truth. “You promised.”

She inwardly cursed, guilt overtaking her completely reasonable decision to send him an email. Why? She had no idea. It wasn’t like they were together in any kind of capacity and she was planning to keep her promise to let him know if she was pregnant… just not in person.

Yet guilt kept her from punching in the security code and pulling the door open. Even more guilt than she’d had while she was putting the kibosh on Marco.

And maybe that guilt wouldn’t have been enough to get her to do this here at her place of work—and let’s face it, her place of respite. But when she turned back to assure him an email was truly the best course of action, he said it again.

“Please, tell me,” he said. “I can’t work. I can’t think.”

Nikolai Rustanov didn’t strike her as a man who said please very often.

And she couldn’t help but notice the lines around his eyes.

Tight, worried lines that made him look not like the impassable mountain she’d painted him to be, but like a man.

A man who might have had as many problems sleeping over the past month as she had.

“Ms. McKinley, everything all right up there?” Danny asked again.

She’d been so caught up in the moment with Nikolai that she’d forgotten the old security guard was still down there at the bottom of the steps. She’d forgotten everything but her and Nikolai and the life they’d unwittingly created together.

Damn my soft heart, she thought to herself. Then out loud she said, “It’s okay, Danny. I was just about to walk Mr. Rustanov to his car. He’s a friend of the shelter.”

Code for big donor—not an out of sorts husband. Which wasn’t exactly true, but Samantha couldn’t think of a less awkward way to let the security guard know Nikolai wasn’t a threat.

Danny visibly relaxed, letting his hand fall from his baton. “Alright then. I’ll just take my lunch break, if you don’t need me for awhile.”

Sam forced a smile to her lips. “That’s a great idea, Danny.”

After some awkward goodbyes, she made the silent trek with Nikolai back to his Escalade.

The entire block in front of Ruth’s House was zoned as ten minute loading and unloading parking only.

Apparently the Russian thought this would be more than a ten-minute conversation, because unlike Marco, who was always parking in the intake spots for convenience, he’d parked much further down the street in the regular parking zone.

All the way on the next block, which meant they’d be able to talk in semi-private with no worries about being seen by anyone at Ruth’s House.

Still, Sam felt beyond self-conscious when they reached his car and Nikolai’s eyes zeroed in like lasers. Waiting.

She took a deep breath and just said it. “I’m pregnant.”

Nikolai went still as a statue, his expression so neutral, it was impossible for Sam to even guess at what he was thinking. So she kept on talking.

“I still have to go to the doctor to get it confirmed, but I took three tests. All positive. So… I’m pretty sure.”

Still no reaction from him. And Sam rushed on, feeling like she had to get it all out, if only so she could escape back to the safety of Ruth’s House.

“But what I would have said in my email is you don’t have to worry about any of this. I’m not going to ask you for anything. I have a good job and lots of resources. I’ll take care of everything—”

He suddenly came back to life, his gaze narrow and suspicious.

“You are sure it is mine?” he asked.

Sam blinked. “Am I sure it’s yours?” she repeated.

Now he outright sneered at her. “You and cop? Did you use condom with him?”

For a moment, the engine inside Sam’s mind stalled out, choking on indignation. It took a few open and shuts of her mouth before she was able to say, “Okay, let’s get a few things straight here.”

She put a finger in the air to make her point.

“A month ago, I was upset. I’d had a very bad experience followed by a very bad nightmare.

I never would have let you anywhere near me if those two things hadn’t occurred.

Understand, you are the only guy I’ve ever not used protection with, and I feel pretty damn stupid about that.

Especially now with you acting like I’m up in here getting pregnant all the time by guys I don’t know.

Like you think this is how I get my kicks and giggles.

But trust me when I say, I’m just as unhappy about being pregnant with your baby as you are.

If it had been up to me, this is the last way I would have chosen to get pregnant. ”

He flinched, like her words had more than insulted him. Like they had caused him pain. But then his jaw clenched, and he said, “It was necessary question.” He gave her one of his ugly frowns. “You will keep it? Because you—how did you say—are too old to make other choice?”

Sam shook her head, feeling the usual disappointment when it came to guys and relationships beginning to set in.

No, she hadn’t expected a romance novel or anything when she told him the news.

But she hadn’t expected him to ask if it was his either or whether she was still against aborting it, which would make his life a whole lot easier, she knew.

The whole situation made her feel dirty. But she stood her ground with him.

“I’m not happy about the circumstances, but I’m happy about being a mother,” she told him through gritted teeth. “And I’m keeping this baby, no matter what.”

She waited, giving him a chance to try to convince her otherwise, but he just stood there, with no expression whatsoever.

Like a block of ice. Nope, this wasn’t a romance novel situation at all.

She wasn’t that kind of girl and Nikolai wasn’t that kind of man.

She’d known that about him from the start, so there was no reason for the piercing hurt now radiating through her body over his total lack of reaction.

Suddenly Sam felt exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted.

“I’m going back to work,” she said, having to put real effort into keeping her voice strong. “Like I said, I’m more than cool with doing this on my own.”

Then she walked away, disappointment in him and the situation and herself dogging her heels. And she wasn’t surprised when this time, he did nothing to stop her from leaving.