Page 35

Arielle

“Call me if you need anything, anything at all, okay?” Vivian said, pulling James into a bone-crushing hug.

“Yeah. Don’t be a stranger, kiddo,” I added, smiling at them.

“I’ll try,” he replied with his signature boyish grin. “Viv, I won’t make it to the plane alive if you keep squeezing me like that.”

“Just give me five more seconds,” she groaned, pulling him impossibly closer to her and earning them weird glances from people at the check-in while I stood there, watching with an awkward smile.

A lot had changed during my absence and with that wave of change came a bond between Vivian and James. Apparently, following my rebellion, father ordered them to return home, keeping a close leash on them which resulted in Vivian developing a protective big sister instinct towards him.

“You visit for holidays, right? Jason will be mad if you don’t.”

I rolled my eyes at her antics. “We both know Jason won’t be very mad about that. Let the boy go before he misses his turn.”

“Be good, okay,” she said, finally releasing him from her hold.

“I’ll try,” he smirked before turning to me and pulling me into a surprising hug. “Thanks, Arielle, for everything,

“It’s fine,” I replied, hugging him briefly.

We waved goodbye, and Vivian ended up crying like a baby the entire drive home.

I’ve been home for two months, and I completely devoted my first month to clearing the names of myself and my adopted siblings, deleting traces of hidden identities, and freeing ourselves from the life Henry created for us.

We were in luck, and the old man had no one to fight for him or avenge his death. He was pretty much an asshole to all and had no family left behind, so there was no final battle to be won.

His enormous wealth was split between us, and what was left went to charity—mostly the orphanage—to make up for the damage. We equally found the officials who were responsible for our adoption and brought them to justice.

James spent some time with us, mostly because he wanted to form a relationship with Jason and me before leaving. Henry’s betrayal brought us closer, opening us up to the fact that we were the only family we had.

Life was slowly getting back on track, and I was adjusting to being just Arielle. I chose to keep the name over Cara since the only person who called me that was dead, and I wanted the name to die with him.

“That’s not the way home,” Vivian pointed out as I made a diversion to the right instead of taking the straight route.

“I know, Viv. Jason won’t be home till two, and I just need some time to cool off before returning to being treated like a fucking parasite.”

“You still haven’t spoken to him?” she asked, her warm gaze resting on me.

“There’s nothing to say, Viv. This is my life. I’m going to be forever tethered to a man who hates me.”

“I don’t think he hates you, Ari. He’s hurt, but I don’t think he hates you. It would be weird if he welcomed you with open arms after what happened, and you know it.”

I let out a soft sigh, feeling the weight of the past days perpetually stacked on my shoulders. Vivian was right, but it didn’t make things easier.

Mikhail avoided me like a plague. He left most of the messages with Maya and only spoke to me if it was totally unavoidable or he had to with Jason.

I had gone from being the object of his complete devotion to blending in with one of the abstract paintings on his wall—unimportant and barely noticed—and it hurt a lot more than I imagined.

My only consolation was how happy he made Jason. He was ecstatic to discover Mikhail was his daddy. He was also at the receiving end of the purest love from multiple people.

Enzo showered him with the most expensive gifts. Vivian took him to all the parks and fairs in the whole of New York while Maya made sure he had a taste of every food he saw on TV. When living with Mikhail got really difficult, I comforted myself with the love my baby was receiving. He deserved all of it after the life we had in Italy.

“So, what do you suggest I do?” I asked, pulling my lips between my teeth.

“Same thing I’ve been saying the whole time. Talk to him. Father’s betrayal affected all of us, but you bore the brunt of his lies. You were most affected by them, and the past few years have been a traumatic experience for you. From running away to having a child on your own, getting kidnapped, and returning to the life you ran away from. It only takes the strongest of humans to hold down the way you have without breaking, and you should give yourself some grace. You were a victim too, the biggest.”

I blinked repeatedly, forcing the tears that pooled in my eyes back. Sometimes, I just wanted to put down the weight I was carrying and rest for a bit, but I couldn’t. Most of the guilt was not mine, but I couldn’t bring myself to ignore the fact that I had somehow contributed to the pain in people’s lives. The man I loved couldn’t even look me in the eye.

“Hey,” Vivian placed a supportive hand on my shoulder, “it’ll be alright. He just needs time, we all do.”

I nodded wordlessly, focusing on the road ahead. I intended to spend the next hours in the spa until it was time to pick up Jason from school.

I’ll eventually have to speak to Mikhail. I just need to figure out what to say to him, but until I find the words, I’ll just stew in my misery.

*****

“Daddy!” Jason shrieked, jumping down from my lap and running to Mikhail.

“Hey, big guy,” the widest smile spread through his face as he picked up Jason with ease, throwing him into the air and catching him.

Jason’s excited squeal echoed through the living room, and he proceeded to grab his coloring book from me and show his father all he had been able to accomplish.

Mikhail only acknowledged me with a curt nod before channeling his undivided attention to Jason’s school adventures and his paintings.

It was a bittersweet feeling watching them bond so well and not be a part of it. I swallowed the knot forming in my throat and forced myself to maintain a neutral expression.

The last time they were seated like that, I had let my emotions take me over and didn’t notice a tear running down my cheek till Jason asked why I was crying. I told him I had something in my eye and made it a point to be conscious at all times.

I couldn’t leave either. Jason was a growing boy, and it was only a matter of time till he started noticing his parents were never together in the same space.

“Dinner is ready!” Maya called out from the dining room, saving me from torture.

Dinner was quite generic and consisted of Jason rambling off to mostly his father and pulling me into the conversation once in a while.

He was currently talking about the new toy Enzo got him, and Mikhail listened with rapt attention, soaking up every bit of gibberish he spewed.

My food turned to cardboard in my mouth, and I fought the urge to throw up. It would be selfish for me to butt in and steal Jason’s attention after promising to give them time to bond, but the pain was becoming almost unbearable.

Thankfully, Jason soiled his shirt, and Mikhail had to take him to the bathroom, essentially signifying the end of dinner.

I remained in the dining room, moving my food around my plate and staring into space.

“ ребено к .” Maya’s voice startled me, pulling me from my thoughts. “How long do you intend to remain sad amidst the joy surrounding you?”

“It’s not that simple, Maya.” I sighed.

“Nonsense. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what I did.”

“I might not know what you did, but I saw the damage. I watched him almost kill himself with alcohol and cleaned up after him. I watched him become a shell of the man he used to be, and there were times I tried to find you myself. But I do know life is not always black and white, and there must’ve been a reason for your actions. There’s good in you, child, and what is important is that you’re repentant of your actions, but it’ll all go to waste if you don’t direct this repentance to the one who should see it.”

I fell silent, taking a moment to digest all that Maya had dumped on me. We’ve had little moments where she tried to fix things between us, but she never dumped this much information on me. My heart felt like someone sank their fist into me and squeezed tightly.

I always equated Mikhail’s pain to his hatred for disloyal people. I knew he loved me, but I never thought a man like him would let himself mourn a feeling as trivial as love. Maya’s revelation only made me feel worse, and I buried my face in my palms, every hope I had of Mikhail forgiving me slowly slipping away.

“He showed you the depth of his love from the beginning, and he mourned your absence the way a widower would mourn a dead wife. He has shown the strength of his love for you, and now it is your turn to show him he is not alone in those feelings.”

“I don’t know what to do, Maya. What if he is not interested in fixing things? What if he’s only keeping me around because of Jason?” I asked, feeling lost and hopeless.

Maya smiled warmly, pulling my hands into hers. “I’ve watched that boy grow into the man he has become today, and I can tell you if he didn’t want you around, not even a child would make him keep you, but he’s a man, and he has his pride. This is up to you.”

This is up to you.

It seemed to be the only thing anyone ever said to me but I had no clue what to do or how to handle things.

“Tell me what to do, Maya.” I clutched her hands tightly, desperate for any help she could offer.

“You know him best. I’m sure you can come up with something,” she said, getting on her feet and patting my hair softly before disappearing to the kitchen, and I was again left with the aching pain in my heart and a new feeling of self-loathing for the pain I had caused.

I had to fix this, and even if I don’t succeed, it’ll weigh lighter on my conscience to know that I tried.